The Long Road Home
by knicnort3
Summary: "Some wounds don't heal, they fester until they destroy everything good you once had inside of you." - Bella's desire to help people recover from traumatic events implodes when she discovers the terrible truth about her own family. Can a new love survive so many hardships and be the light that breaks through the darkness? - ALL HUMAN, Bella POV, B/E, No cheating, Dark Content, HEA
1. Jitters

_**The Long Road Home**_

 **Warning:** In this story, Bella works with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) patients, as well as CPTSD (complex trauma disorder) which includes adults who survived child abuse and rape. If this is at all triggering for you in any way, do not read! There will be no graphic detail but it does discuss children in terrible situations. This is FICTION, but some scenes may reflect real tragic stories in the news. Again, please do not read if you are sensitive on this subject. Thank you!

...

 **Chapter 1 – Jitters**

"OK, just move it a little to the left," I said as I examined the sign ten feet above my head.

"Darling, now, I'm not trying to lose my patience, but you're driving me insane. It was just left, you wanted it right," Jasper said as he hung upside down from the post waving his hammer.

"I know, but now its too far right. It just needs to move in an inch," I said with an apologetic grin. "Please, Jazz. I'll owe you big time."

"You already owe me big time," he grumbled as he grudgingly pried the nails loose from the sign so he could move it to the left.

"Right there!" I shouted. "That's exactly the right spot."

"You sure this time?" he asked, clearly not believing me.

"Positive."

"Awesome," Jasper said, before hammering the sign back into place. When he was finished, he pulled himself back to the ladder and climbed down.

"What do you think?" I asked him with emotional tears building in my eyes. It was only a sign, and yet, it meant the world to me. It was a visual representation of the dream I had been dreaming of since I was a child, and I was beyond excited to see it come into fruition. It was nowhere near complete, but it was definitely moving in that direction.

He stared up at the sign, analyzing his work, and then nodded. "It looks exactly like it did the last five times I hammered it up there."

I smacked him playfully on the chest. "Does not. Its perfect now. Thank you, Jasper. I really appreciate all the help you've done this past week."

"Well, you know I really wish I could stay for the rest of the summer and help with everything else," he replied while still looking up at the sign.

"I know. Duty calls," I said with a sigh. Jasper was my absolute favorite cousin, then again, he was my only cousin. He was actually my last remaining blood relative, and I was absolutely terrified that he was being deployed half a world away. But Jasper was Jasper - a true blue patriotic southerner that wanted nothing more than to serve his country the way his father and our grandfather had done. I hated it, but I'd never dream of asking him not to go.

"There's still so much left to do before you can open in the fall," he mused.

I nodded. "It'll get there," I said confidently.

Jasper smiled. "I will say this, Cullen Ranch has never looked so good."

I laughed. "Can't you read?" I asked while pointing back up at the sign. "This is the ' _Alice's Hope, Equine Therapy Ranch'._ "

He chuckled with me then threw up his hands in defeat. "My mistake. _'Alice's Hope, Equine Therapy_ _Ranch_ , formally known as the 'Cullen Ranch' has never looked so good. I can already see the finished product. Its going to be really great, Bells. This is an awesome thing you're doing for the community. Your dad would have been proud."

I smiled. "I hope so."

"Well, I know so," he assured me. "Uncle Charlie would have been proud of you no matter what, but this… this is truly amazing. I can't wait to come back next year and see all the happy faces of the people you've helped here."

"I'm not so sure about happy faces, but hopefully you might see some healing hearts. That's all I can really hope for."

"I'm sure there will be plenty of healing hearts… and happy faces here soon. Good luck, little cuz, and take my advice and hire a helping hand 'round here. That little apartment above the shed would be perfect for someone to live in while they help you out with all the repairs and such you have left. Think about it!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said dismissively before leaning in to hug him tightly. "I love you. And don't get yourself killed over there. I'd never forgive you!"

"Hey now, this 'aint my first rodeo," he argued.

"I wouldn't care if you've been over there a thousand times. Its still dangerous, so be careful!"

"Yes, Ma'am. I have no intention of dying any time soon. Love you too. And don't hesitate to call Emmett or Carlisle. Now, I'm serious on that! If you can't handle something, its OK to ask for help. You tend to have trouble with that."

"That's because I don't usually need any help," I said like a smartass.

"Uh-huh, like you didn't need help hanging that there sign… or rewiring the upstairs bathroom, or…"

"Okay, I get the point!" I conceded. "Stop worrying about me. All you need to worry about is how to not get killed over there."

"Alrighty then. I'll give you a call when I can," he said before hugging me tightly again, and then heading for his car.

My stomach twisted in knots and I had to force myself to stay where I was instead of throwing my body in front of his car so he couldn't leave, but then that would probably just end up getting him in trouble with the military, so I suppose I had to let him go. With all the losses I had experienced in my lifetime, watching him leave was definitely one of the hardest things I had to do. But I couldn't wallow in my sorrow. The ranch had so much that needed to be done, and I was the only one there to do it.

I walked back in the house, and the moment I got elbows deep into another project, the phone rang, and I already knew who it was.

"Hello, Rose. Everything is fine, Rose," I said before she could even breathe a word of a greeting.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked surprised. "Did you finally get rid of that ancient dial phone and get a real one with a caller ID? And why is your cell never turned on anyway?" she asked, though it felt more like I was being scolded by a parent than talking to a friend.

I took a deep breath so I could ensure the proper lung to air ratio I'd need to answer her questions, knowing all too well she wouldn't be satisfied with a short simple response.

"No, I didn't get a new phone. My vintage rotary phone works perfectly fine and belongs here in this one hundred plus year old ranch house. I knew it was you because you always call around this time of the day, and especially today because you knew Jasper was leaving and I'd be upset. And what was the other question again?"

"Cell phone," she reminded me.

"That's right. Why don't I ever use my cell phone? Well, maybe I haven't charged it in a while because I don't need it. I'm far too busy to be playing on that thing all the time the way you do with yours."

"Oh, so now I'm not busy, huh?" she said in mock offense.

"Oh, come on, you know what I mean," I whined in frustration. "Rose, I really am busy, so can you just tell me why you called so I can get back to work?"

"Okay, okay, so I'm sending someone to come stay with you."

"Whatahuh?" I asked confused. "Someone to stay with me? How so?"

"Jasper called me after he left there..."

"Ugh!" I whined again, already knowing where she was going with it.

Rose continued as if she didn't hear my complaint. "His name is Edward Masen. He's a handyman that did some work on our bathroom last week."

"He did work for you? That's the only way you know this guy? He could be anyone."

"I checked his references," she defended herself.

"Ugh! If you just talked to Jasper about this a little bit ago, how have you already lined up this guy? "

"He gave me his number last week and said to please call him if I needed anything else done. So after I got off the phone with Jasper, I called him… and he said yes!"

"He was just like - ' _Sure, I'll go stay with your friend out in the country and do random maintenance work around a ranch'?_ What kind of guy would agree to something like that without even surveying the job first… or the condition of the place he's going to be staying in? Or the terms of employment?"

"Oh, Bella, you are far too paranoid. I'm sure it'll be fine. The guy is like… a drifter, or something."

"A drifter? Wow, this just sounds better and better."

"Oh, come on. He's not a serial killer," she argued.

"How do you know?" I shouted in frustration. "You, being a Cullen, should understand that terrible monsters really do exist. Knowing what happened to Alice, how could you just invite a random strange man to come live with me out in the boondocks with no neighbors close enough to hear me scream?"

"This guy is nothing like... _that creepy old guy that took Alice_ ," she whispered, obviously not wanting anyone around her to hear what she was talking about.

"And you know that for sure, how?" I challenged her. "Because a couple of his references checked out?"

"Yes, and because he's really good looking…"

"I wouldn't care if he was Clark Gable. I'm not looking for romance right now!"

"Clark Gable? My god, Bella, get some cable TV already. Besides, I'm not trying to make a love match here. Him being eye candy is only a bonus. He's really good at what he does. And he's nice…"

"Yeah, so was the guy who took Alice," I said perturbed.

"Oh Bella, look, I know you grew up in that situation, and everyone around you was always paranoid and freaked over everything, but not everyone is bad. Not even most people are bad. This guy seems very genuine, and he was looking for work, and said he'd be willing to travel. So when Jasper said you could really use someone staying out there with you to help around the ranch, I thought of him immediately and called him. He's not a murderer. He has a clean record. Young. Handsome. Just someone looking for a fresh start. Much like you."

"Wait, did you say his name is Manson? OK, nobody with that last name has ever been good. Marilyn Manson, Charles Mason…"

"His name is not Manson, its Masen. Edward Masen. Come on, you're getting silly with this."

"I don't know," I said, mostly to myself. I hated pre-judging anyone, but with the upbringing I had, it was definitely difficult to trust strangers. Then again, if all went well, I'd be opening the ranch to strangers all the time, so I supposed I needed to learn to somehow come to terms with my fear of the unknown. And I really did need the help…

"I guess its OK if he comes…. On a trial basis only! If I get a creepy vibe or he steps one foot out of line, he's gone."

"Good, he will be there in a couple hours," she said, taking me aback.

"What? He's already on his way?"

"I hope you're planning something good for dinner."

"Rose!"

"What? I told him you're a good cook," she giggled, knowing all too well that I was a terrible cook.

"The apartment above the shed has it's own kitchenette. Why would I need to cook for him?" I said in a panic. The situation was getting completely out of hand, and my nerves were spiking to an all time high.

"You don't have to cook for him, but it would sure be nice. Especially considering he's going to be arriving after dark and he won't have much time to go shopping and get all settled in before dinner time.

"Grrr!" I growled out of frustration. "Okay, Rose, thank you so much for the help, but now I really have to go since you just doubled my workload for the afternoon."

"What? No, he's going there to help, not make more work for you."

"Except now I have to drop what I'm doing and go take clean linens to the apartment, then run to the store and pick up stuff for dinner and a can of pepper spray. The store alone will take me over an hour since it's a good twenty minutes away."

"Oh Bella, stop complaining. This is going to be a good thing. You'll see."

"I hope you're right," I grumbled before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. I loved Rose like a sister, but sometimes she really did piss me off.

I cleaned up the job I was in the middle of working on, then put clean towels and sheets in the apartment, before rushing out to the store.

I had to try really hard to not be so closed off when it came to people I didn't know, so having a complete stranger coming to basically live with me, was extremely nerve-racking. I was anxious and jittery the entire time at the store, and somehow managed to knock down the cracker display.

"Shit," I said under my breath as I clumsily attempted to restack the boxes in a somewhat orderly fashion.

When I was finished cleaning my mess in the snack aisle, I decided it would probably be nice to stock up the fridge and pantry in the apartment as well. I had no idea what this guy would like or what his dietary needs may be, so I just got some generic staples like bread, milk, eggs and pretzels. But before I could make it to the checkout counter, I second guessed myself and decided to put it all back. What if he was lactose intolerant, or had a glucose allergy? I certainly didn't want to make the guy sick. He could just go shopping for himself in the morning.

I settled on making a pot of spaghetti for dinner, because it was one of the few things I could actually cook, and I figured most people liked it so he probably would too. When I had all the ingredients, I hurried home to get it on the stove.

It was dark by the time I rounded the bend onto the long tree lined driveway of the ranch, and for the first time in my entire life, the house almost looked eerie as I approached it. I grew up with stories of real monsters who took the shape of men and preyed on women and children, but I was never truly afraid of my own home until right then. What if Rose's handyman really was one of those evil people my dad and Carlisle had always warned me about? Suddenly I was more than anxious, I was terrified.

I rushed into the house and locked the door behind me. I turned on all the lights in the house, and finally forced myself to put a pot of water on the stove to boil and start on my sauce.

"Calm down, Bella. Everything is going to be fine," I said to myself out loud.

But then the doorbell rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I grabbed my pepper spray and tucked it into my pocket, and then for even more protection, I also took a large kitchen knife from the block with me to answer the door.

I took one more deep breath, and then slowly unlocked the deadbolt…

...

 *****A/N:** Think this is your typical - Made for TV - love on the ranch - type of story? Think again! We might start off that way, but we will be going in some dark directions, might even be slightly disturbing, so if you can't handle it, please don't continue.

** Despite the dramatic plot unfolding, this is ultimately a love story and I plan on that being the main focus, and everything else just being in the background. As always with my stories, we will end this thing with a Happily Ever After!

*I do not have an update schedule, nor do I know how long it will be. Maybe 5 chapters, maybe 50. I have it complete in my mind, but getting it all down in a readable form might be a while. I will post each chapter as I complete it.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Familiar

**Chapter 2 – Familiar**

My first instinct was to only open the door a crack and peek out, but I didn't consider how weird that would look until I was already in the middle of doing it…

"Um… Hi. Miss Swan? … Uh, I'm Edward Masen… Rosalie Cullen sent me… She said you'd be expecting me?" he said with a soft, surprisingly gently voice.

And, of course, I felt like an idiot. I opened the door the rest of the way, and wasn't at all surprised to see the face of a very handsome man looking back at me with a friendly smile. Rose did say he was good looking, although she also had a thing for the Jersey Shore dudes, so I didn't always trust her judgment when it came to men.

"Hi, yes. I'm sorry, please come in," I said before moving aside so he could enter.

"Sorry, Miss Rosalie did say you were a little nervous. I didn't scare you, did I?" Edward asked concerned. "I thought she told you I'd be here around this time?"

"No… Um, I mean, yes, she did tell me. No, you didn't scare me," I lied. "I was just…" I held up the knife I was holding. "Um… cutting veggies. Dinner will be ready in a little bit. I hope you're hungry," I told him while leading him into the living room.

"Why, yes Ma'am. Dinner would be great after such a long drive. This house is beautiful, by the way," he said as he looked around. "And as far as I could see in the dark, the ranch looks amazing. Have you owned it for a long time?"

"Oh, well, no, not exactly. I don't actually own it; Carlisle and Esme Cullen own it still. Its been sitting out here vacant for some time now, so they offered to let me use it for my business."

"The horse therapy, thing?" he questioned. Rose must have told him more than I expected. Not that I minded; I only wished I knew more about him before he arrived so I wouldn't have been so nervous.

"Um… Yeah, it's been a dream of mine to open the ranch to patients ever since I was a child," I explained, feeling odd about discussing such an emotional topic with a complete stranger.

"Patients? I'm sorry, but I guess I'm a bit confused. When Miss Rosalie told me about this place, I have to admit, I kind of thought it was a joke at first."

"Really?" I said surprised. "How so?"

"Well, I'm not much of an animal person or anything, but I've never heard of horses needing therapy."

I giggled. I couldn't help it. "Well, horses are very intelligent animals and have been known to need emotional help after an injury, but no. The therapy I plan to offer here is for people."

"Oh, right," he said with a nod, pretending as if I made perfect sense with my brief explanation.

"You see, sometimes when someone has a disorder or a condition of some sort, or experiences a trauma, they can withdraw into themselves. Animals can be a way to help people like that… help them connect to something again. Riding a horse, or sometimes just petting one and being in their presence can be very healing for some people."

"Huh. So, it's like an emotional support? I've heard of dogs helping with that sort of thing, but never horses."

I nodded. "Dogs can be great therapy companions, but horses add something. I don't know, they're just soothing some how. The ranch where I did some training had a little girl with autism who would frequent there. She would just come alive with the horses, in a way her parents said she never did at home. Its simply amazing... But we won't just offer emotional therapy. Horses can help with physical therapy as well. Working outside in nature with animals can be a much needed relief from the stagnant cold hospital physical therapy rooms."

"Well… It just sounds like an all around good thing," he said with a kind smile. "Um… I don't mean to be rude or anything, but… Is something burning?"

I froze for a moment to see if I could smell anything, and sure enough – "Oh shit!" I shouted before running into the kitchen.

My sauce had boiled over and somehow caught fire. The flames were growing quickly, so I reached for the fire extinguisher under the sink…

"Here, I got it," Edward said as he gently scooted me out of the way and grabbed one of the pan lids. He held it in front of him for a minute, and then quickly reached through the flames to use the lid to smother the fire. It was out quickly; though, I seriously hoped he didn't burn himself and end up suing me. "There you go. Much cleaner than the fire extinguisher would have been."

"Uh… Thank you," I said, unsure how else to respond. "I don't know what happened. I must have just had the gas up too high."

"Well, I will say, I've never seen marinara sauce catch fire before," he said with a chuckle.

"Yeah… Weird," I replied while biting the corner of my lip in contemplative bewilderment.

"Funny the smoke detectors didn't go off," he added while looking up at the long dead detector above him. "I'll make sure I fix that first thing in the morning."

"Oh, please don't," I said quickly. "At least not that one. With my cooking it would be going off constantly."

He stared at me for a moment, and then smiled before nodding. "Ok then. I figured Miss Rosalie was talking up your cooking a bit much for it to be real." He chuckled.

I laughed with him. "Yeah, sorry. I'm a horrible cook. I hope home cooked meals wasn't one of the selling points for you coming here."

"Nah. I would never go anywhere and expect something like that. I'm actually a pretty decent cook myself. Would you mind if I take a look in your fridge to see if there's something I can throw together for us tonight?"

"Really?" I asked surprised. "I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure the sauce is inedible at this point. It may have been pretty bad before it caught fire as well," I admitted. "I would say we could just call for a pizza, but nowhere delivers out this far."

"No biggie. I'm sure I can figure something out," he said before opening the fridge and moving things around so he could see what was there. "Oh yeah, this will work out just fine."

He pulled out several items, and immediately started preparing whatever it was that he was planning. I couldn't stop myself from flinching when he grabbed a knife from the block, but then he –ever so quietly– began humming while he moved about the kitchen. I didn't recognize the tune, but the gentle cadence of it lulled me to a sense of calm I was never expecting.

"My dad used to hum while he cooked as well," I told him. "Well, not hum, I guess he whistled," I corrected myself, realizing my mistake.

"Oh yeah?" he asked with seemingly genuine interest. "Well, I usually have my earbuds in whenever I do anything. I probably hum to the music more than I realize. I guess it's actually kind of embarrassing, now that I'm thinking about it."

"No, you shouldn't be embarrassed. I listen to music when I'm doing any kind of physical work around the ranch as well, but you definitely don't want to hear me hum."

He chuckled. "I'm sure its not so bad."

"I think dying cats would probably sound better," I assured him.

He laughed again softly, but otherwise didn't respond.

We were both quiet for a few minutes after that, but it never felt awkward. Of course, it took those few minutes for me to realize that the situation I suddenly found myself in was rather odd: I was just sitting there, at the kitchen table, while some man I didn't know made me dinner in my own house. My father would have probably lectured me for a week if he were alive to know about that one - He was even more fearsome of strangers around me than I was. However, perhaps Rose was right after all; perhaps being so paranoid by strangers wasn't healthy. Most people weren't bad. I needed to find a way to really believe that.

"So, Edward," I said, breaking the comfortable silence we had been surrounded by. "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself."

"I'm afraid there's not much to tell," he said quickly, almost as if he had been expecting that question and had rehearsed his answer. "I don't have any formal training really, so I hope you didn't think I'm certified in anything. It wasn't a problem for Miss Rosalie, so if it's a problem for you…"

"No, I don't really care about that. I actually was asking more about your background. Your family? Where you grew up?"

He laughed once humorlessly. "Well there's even less I could tell you about that. Grew up in the inner city of Chicago. Old man left when I was young. Mom remarried a loser and he pretty much kicked me out the moment I turned eighteen. Mom was cool with it so I left and never really looked back."

"Oh… I'm sorry. That's…" I wanted to say terrible, but I wasn't sure if it would offend him or not.

"It is what it is. Unfortunately, that seems to be the same story most of the kids from my old neighborhood have to tell."

"What about siblings, or grandparents? Cousins?" I asked, hoping he had some kind of family out there who cared about him.

He shook his head. "I'm the only child of two only children. No siblings or cousins. Never met my grandparents so I doubt they're still alive. Its really not a big deal. I've always taken care of myself without many problems."

"That's so sad," I said, but then I got embarrassed. "I'm sorry, its not really my place… I just can't imagine not having any family at all."

"So you grew up in a big family, I assume?" he questioned as he threw something in a pan on the stove, and began stirring it. "Oh, you're part of that Cullen family, right?"

"You've heard of them? I mean, apart from the work you did for Rose?"

"Um… Yeah. So, Dr. Cullen is her dad?" he asked, unsure.

"No, her husband Emmett's dad," I clarified.

"Oh, OK. Well, when I got the job to do some work on their place, I recognized the name Cullen so I looked it up. Dr. Cullen has been in the media quite a bit over the years."

"Yeah, other than being the chief of staff at the hospital he works at, he's done a lot of non profit work, and is the leader in several foundations. He ran for governor a few years back. I'm kind of glad he lost… but don't ever tell him that," I said quickly.

"You don't have to worry about that. I don't think I'd ever have the opportunity to tell him anything."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll see him around. He and his family visit whenever they can. They're just so busy all the time that they don't get out here as much as I know they'd like. This used to be their home, then they moved back to the city for work and kept this as their vacation house. Its been mostly unused for a while now. Lucky for me, I suppose."

"You said 'he and his family'? So… are you not part of his family?" he asked confused. "I figured he was your uncle or something."

"He's like an uncle, but no, I'm not actually related to them. My dad and Carlisle were best friends since before I was born. I was just a toddler when my mom died, so my dad and I stayed with them out here on the ranch for a while. I basically grew up with Emmett, and then also Alice, so I've always looked at them as siblings. We are all very close. They're my family, and even if its not by blood, I wouldn't trade any of them for the world."

"Well, they sound really cool," he said absently as he began rummaging through my pantry.

"I'm definitely lucky to be considered one of them," I agreed. "I know I wouldn't have gotten through my dad's death last year without them. They're all the best people anyone could ever know," I said with a loving smile as I thought about my pseudo family.

"Well… I think I'm just about done with this. I hope you like it," he said as he was finishing up.

"It smells amazing," I said sincerely, just then noticing the incredible aroma that filled the kitchen.

"Its really nothing fancy," he tried dismissing my compliment, but when he set the food on the table, there was no denying the heavenly display before us.

"Wow!" I said as I first feasted with my eyes. "Did you go to culinary school or something?"

He smiled crookedly, and then shook his head. "No, Ma'am, but I did spend a few months working as a line cook some years back. This is really nothing. I just used the pasta you already made, then sautéed up the chicken you had in there with some garlic and a few other spices and such. Simple as can be."

"Nothing about that seems simple to me," I laughed, and then I took a bite. "Ok, I think I'm going to have to beg you to cook for me every night," I joked, but wouldn't hesitate to pay him extra if he'd seriously agree to it. It was absolutely delicious. If his handy work around the ranch was half as good as that pasta dish, I may as well have won the lottery with that guy. - Although, I was slightly bitter about the prospect of having to tell Rose she was right. I always hated admitting when I was wrong, especially to her.

"I can cook whenever you'd like," he told me. "It's the least I could do for you giving me this opportunity here."

"Speaking of which… Rose never told me the terms in which you agreed to work here. I mean, obviously you'll be staying in the apartment I have here on the property, but what about a salary? Should I pay you monthly, weekly, or per job?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. I've never worked in a situation like this. Whatever you think is fair I'm sure will be fine."

"Well, what are you used to making in a full day of work?"

"Depends on the job, really. I usually charge about an average of sixty five dollars an hour."

"Okay," I said then tried to do the math in my head of what it would cost to basically pay him for six hour days, five days a week. I certainly didn't think it was over priced for a handyman, but the truth was I just didn't have a ton of money in my budget for that. I bit the inside of my cheek as I tried to think of some sort of solution.

"But," he added quickly. "Taking in to account my housing is paid for here, I think I'd only need a few hundred a week to pay for groceries and whatnot."

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to work for so little," I told him regretfully.

"How about we start with five hundred a month, and once you get this place up and running, we can rework the finances… Or you may not need me anymore by then and I'll be on my way."

"I can't ask you to take less for a month than what you're used to making in a day."

"To be honest, I really don't need much. I basically just travel around and work various jobs to make enough money to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I'm good with that. Really. Besides, I already have a little bit of a savings if anything were to come up."

"What about medical, or car insurance? I'm sure you have expenses that are greater than five hundred a month."

He shook his head. "I'm not too fond of doctors, and like I said, I have a savings in case I were to get sick or hurt or anything. I have pretty cheap car insurance. I won't be spending much on gas since I'll be living here and working here." He shrugged. "I think it'll work out just fine."

I felt pretty guilty, as if I was taking advantage of him, but if he was happy with the arrangement, then so was I. Five hundred a month was probably just about the most I could afford on my own for the time being anyway.

I took in a deep breath. "Well, you have yourself a deal. Five hundred a month, and an apartment to call your own," I said with a smile before holding my hand out to him. "Welcome to the neighborhood," I joked.

He laughed, and then took my hand to shake. "Thanks. I can't wait to see it in the daylight."

I laughed too. "It needs a lot of work, but it really is beautiful."

"So… I hope I'm not stepping out of line here, but… if the Cullen's own the ranch, why are you footing the bill for all the repairs?" he questioned curiously.

"They own it on paper, but Carlisle assured me its mine to do what I want with it. They offered to pay for it to be fixed up, but its something I really want to do on my own. It's the only way I'll ever really feel like its mine. You know?"

He nodded. "I guess I can see that. Well, I'm glad I can be here to help you get it all done."

I smiled. "Me too. I have to admit, I had my reservations about having a stranger come here, but… I think it'll work out. Rose was right, you seem very… genuine."

An odd expression briefly crossed his features, but it quickly melted into a big smile that gave me a bewildering déjà vu. "Oh, I don't know how genuine I am. You'll probably come to regret hiring me," he joked – at least, I hoped he was joking.

"Why? Are you a serial killer?" I joked back, thinking about the conversation I had earlier with Rose.

"I can honestly say that I haven't killed anyone… yet," he replied playfully.

We continued a light banter as we ate, but I kept thinking about that strange déjà vu, and I couldn't help but voice it.

"I'm sorry, this is going to sound weird, but… have we ever met before tonight? Like, maybe, have you done work around here somewhere in the past? Maybe somewhere in town?"

He paused mid-chew, and seemingly almost froze in place for a moment, but then shook his head. "Nope. Cant say I've ever been in these parts."

"Weird. You just seem so familiar. I could almost swear that I've talked to you before," I said, mostly to myself as I racked my brain trying to remember where I could possibly know him from. But after not figuring it out, I decided to just let it go. He wasn't so familiar to make me think we ever knew each other on a personal level or anything, so it didn't really matter either way.

When we were finished eating, I was even more surprised when he got right up to do the dishes. He was a handyman, and cooked, and willingly did dishes? Where the hell did he come from? Then again, perhaps he was just trying to make a good impression.

"Oh, let me get those," I insisted as I took the plate he was washing right out of his hands. "You cooked, I'll clean up."

"I really don't mind. I don't like people to have to clean my messes," he assured me.

"Well, I appreciate that, but it's not your mess, it's our mess, and since you cooked its only fair that I clean. Besides, its my kitchen and I make the rules," I told him lightly.

He chuckled. "Alright then. I wouldn't want to break any of your rules."

"Thank you."

We made some more small talk as I hurried through the dishes, and because it was getting late, I figured it was time to show him the apartment so he could get settled in for the night.

Our meeting had gone way more smoothly than I could have ever expected, and I definitely felt at ease with him, but that didn't stop me from being grateful the pepper spray was still in my pocket as we crossed the dark driveway and climbed the rickety old stairs to the apartment. I had been raised far too paranoid and untrusting to be completely comfortable with any man I had just met, regardless of his friendly demeanor.

"Here we are," I said as I opened the door, switched on the lights, and led him in. "I hope you can be comfortable here."

"Everything looks fine. Thanks again for giving me this opportunity," he said graciously.

"Well, thank you for taking a chance and coming all the way out here. Not everyone would have done that, and I really do need the help."

"I'm actually looking forward to it. I've traveled all over the country, and yet, I've never actually worked on a ranch. Should be interesting."

"Great! Uh… would you like me to show you around?" I asked, gesturing towards the back of the apartment.

He smirked at me. "I think I can find my way around."

"Right," I said, suddenly feeling awkward for the first time since he walked through my door. It was a fairly small studio apartment. Tiny kitchenette, a bathroom, a rocker- recliner and a bed in front of a small TV, and that was pretty much it. He clearly didn't need a tour. Why I asked to show him around? I had no idea. "Ok, well, um… I didn't stock the fridge or pantry, but I'm going back to the store tomorrow. Just give me a list of the stuff you like in the morning, and I'll buy it all."

"You don't have to do that. I can shop for myself."

"I'm going anyway. And with how little I'm paying you, let me at least buy all your basics this first time… I mean, you're welcome to whatever you need in the house as well, but I'm sure you'd like some of your own stuff in here too."

"Well, I'll tell you what, how about I go down to the house in the morning and we can take a trip to the store together. It would probably just be easier that way. Then when we get back, you can walk me around the property and point out everything you need me to do."

I pressed my lips and nodded. "Ok, sure, that would work… I guess I'll see you in the morning then."

"Good night, Miss Swan."

"Bella," I corrected him.

He tilted his head in acknowledgment. "Miss Bella."

"No, just Bella. Please don't call me 'Miss'. Makes me feel old or something."

"Well then, goodnight Bella." He smiled crookedly, and the perplexing familiarity of his expression almost made me stop dead in my tracks. _He looked so damn familiar, but I just couldn't place him_.

I shrugged it off and said goodnight, then left him alone. Once back inside my house, I made sure all the doors were locked before turning in myself. I never got an eerie vibe from my new neighbor whatsoever, but you just could never be too sure, and as my dad always said - " _Better safe than sorry."_

I had no idea how the store was going to go in the morning, since I had never been shopping with a stranger before, but surprisingly, I was actually weirdly excited. Edward definitely seemed interesting, and I was eager to try to get to know more about him…


	3. Confrontation

**Chapter 3 - Confrontation**

When I woke up early the next morning, and I hadn't been butchered in my sleep by my new neighbor, I decided I needed to try to redeem myself from that awful marinara fire, and actually make a decent breakfast.

I had no idea what time Edward would be up, but living on a ranch meant early rising so I started cooking right away. If the food was cold by the time he got to it, perhaps it would be a subtle way of letting him know to be up sooner. Then again, he was doing me a huge favor by working for such a low cost, so perhaps I should just be grateful and let him sleep as long as he wanted.

Still, I made bacon and eggs with toast, and as soon as it was finished, I figured I'd go to the apartment and knock quietly. If he was awake, great, if not, I'd leave him alone.

Once again, I kept the pepper spray in my pocket, just in case, and tapped on his door lightly. When there was no answer, I sighed and then headed down the stairs. I rounded the corner to go to the main house, when suddenly I hit something hard, and fell straight back onto my butt.

"Holy crap!" Edward said, clearly just as surprised by the collision as I was. "Miss Swan, I am so sorry. I didn't see you there," he said as he reached out to help me up.

"Bella," I reminded him as I took his hand and stood.

"Well, Bella, I'm really sorry. Are you hurt? Should I get some ice or something?" he asked concerned.

"No, no, I'm fine. And no need to apologize, I'm fairly certain I'm the one who ran into you," I said as I dusted myself off. "I have been known to be somewhat of a klutz," I admitted.

"Well, I'm sorry just the same."

"Um, me too," I said sheepishly. I shook my head slightly to get that embarrassing incident out of my mind, and then I noticed he was fully dressed and looked to be carrying tools of some sort. "Already found stuff to fix?"

"Is that OK?" he asked unsure. "I know we talked about you showing me around after we get back from the store, but I just saw a couple things and decided to get an early start."

"No, that's great. I appreciate it…. But, uh, I made breakfast, so…" I let my words trail off when I noticed the goofy expression his face had morphed into. "What?" I asked with a confused smile.

"You cooked again?" he teased. "Without even letting me fix the smoke detectors first?"

My smile grew and stretched across my face, while heat devoured my cheeks. "I can usually manage eggs."

"I don't know, I'd think it would be harder than jarred marinara," he laughed.

I laughed too, I couldn't help myself. "True. But, I did get through it without burning anything this time, so let's go in and eat before it gets any colder."

We went inside and sat down at the table, and Edward seemed sincerely impressed by the food, or at least, he did a good job pretending he was. "This is really good," he told me.

"Well, after last night, I understand why you're surprised," I giggled.

"I'm sure that wasn't your usual," he said sweetly. "I mean, having a stranger come stay with you would be nerve-racking for anyone."

"Yeah, I was definitely a little off, but… I am glad you're here."

"And I'm glad to be here," he replied. "Um, would you happen to have any coffee, by any chance?"

"I do, but unfortunately my coffee maker pretty much keeled over last week. I'm sorry. I've been going through withdrawals myself, but haven't gotten around to buying a new one."

"Really? Would you mind if I take a look at it?"

I shrugged, so he walked over to the machine and immediately began taking it apart. I just watched him silently, and was amazed that after only a couple minutes he had it working again.

"So, what don't you do?" I asked him, baffled by his seemingly perfectness.

He laughed once. "Its probably best to admit this now, seeing how its relevant for a ranch, but… I'm not so good with animals. Kind of terrified of most of them actually."

"Really?" I asked, far too amused by his confession than I probably should have been.

"Yeah. I can't even tell you how relieved I was when I got here last night and I didn't see any dogs anywhere."

"Well, I guess you're in luck about that. My ex took our dog when we broke up."

"I thought when people ended relationships where animals are involved they usually do like a joint custody sort of thing?"

"Well, we would have, I really liked that dog, but she was his before we got together, and she was old, and I really couldn't bring her out to this ranch anyway. I brought her to the ranch I trained at before, and she basically terrorized the horses… and she snaps at strangers. It just wouldn't have been good to have her here."

"Speaking of horses, are yours like… locked in a barn or something? I was walking the property a little this morning, and I didn't see them in the horse thingy area."

"The corral?" I asked with a giggle. His lack of knowledge on the matter was actually quite endearing, especially since he seemed to pretty much know everything else.

"Right, the corral. There's no horse out there."

"Yeah, I actually don't have any horses here at the moment. There's a place down south that specially trains horses for the type of work I need them for. I mean, any animal can be therapeutic, but I really need the most gentle and well behaved ones, since little kids and adults without much strength will be around them."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense, but I'm sure any specially trained animal would be pretty expensive?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much where all my inheritance from my dad has gone. The horses will be here at the end of summer, so I've been spending so much time trying to get the barn and corral ready for them, that everything else has been put on hold. This ranch didn't house horses for the entire time the Cullen's owned it, so that area is far more dilapidated than anything else around here."

"Well, like I said, I don't know much about animals or ranches or any of that stuff, but I can help wherever you need me. I just may need a little more instruction with some of it."

"I will definitely let you know when I need something," I replied.

After breakfast, we headed out to the store, but as I turned out of the ranch property, I realized something. "Dang it," I said under my breath.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked concerned.

"Oh, nothing, I just realized its Sunday."

"Are Sundays significant in some way?" he asked confused, not understanding my issue.

"No," I replied as I turned in the opposite direction of my original intended destination. "No, nothing is wrong with Sundays except for the fact that the little store I usually shop at is closed on Sundays."

"Okay, we can wait and go shopping tomorrow," he suggested.

"There's another store closer to town, but I just… didn't want to go there," I grumbled.

He laughed once. "Do you have some kind of issue with this other store?"

"Nope, not at all," I lied unconvincingly. He must have sensed that I didn't want to get into it so he just let it go, and I was grateful. My hope was to just run into the store and get what we needed, then be on our way before any kind of confrontation could occur. Or better yet, I really hoped a certain someone had the day off…

"Newton's Wine and Grocery." Edward read the sign above the building as headed through the door.

"Why don't we divide and conquer so we can get out of here sooner?" I suggested. "I'll get the cold stuff, you go down the snack aisle and pick out whatever you like. Then meet at checkout."

"Sure. Whatever you think is best," he said, and then he turned and walked away to search out the snacks.

"Just get in and out," I said to myself as I rushed through the refrigerated section. I grabbed some milk, eggs, butter, cheese, yogurts, and lunch meats - all for Edward's apartment since I had already stocked my own fridge recently, and then I headed to the bakery to get him some bread.

I was almost home free as I headed towards the checkout stands, but of course, I should have known it wouldn't be that easy...

"Bella? … Hi, how are you?" Mike said with his irritating voice that just made me want to spit on something.

"Hey. I'm good. Thanks for asking," I said awkwardly as I began looking around to try to come up with some kind of escape.

"How's that therapy thing going?" he asked, clearly trying to sound interested but failing miserably.

"Good. Everything is great. I'm really happy with how its all coming along."

"Coming along? I would have thought you would have had it up and running by now?" he said condescendingly, like the jackass he was.

"Well, the ranch needs a lot of work," I told him with as much attitude as I could muster.

He sighed. "Look, why don't I get some of the guys together and we can finish everything up for you. There's no sense in you killing yourself just because you're stubborn. I'll take care of everything. Lets go out to dinner tonight so we can discuss it all."

"Mike, we are not a couple anymore. I don't need you taking care of anything," I said sternly.

"Come on, Bella. How long are you going to keep this thing going for?" he asked brazenly.

"Oh, I don't know, how long are you going to keep asking me that every time we run into each other?" I asked bitterly. "Its been five weeks since we broke up."

He continued as if I didn't speak. "We belong together. I know you know we do. Come move back home with me."

"Unbelievable," I said while shaking my head. "I told you how important horse therapy was to me. You refused to listen back when we were together, and you're still not listening. I'm not moving back anywhere. My home is the ranch now."

"It's a run down dump," he argued. "Nothing more than a pipe dream. You'll never have real patients out there."

"Oh, I wont?" I scoffed. "It just so happens that I already have people contacting me to see when I'll be open."

"Really?" he asked surprised. "I didn't think there was much of a demand for that sort of thing out here."

"You were never supportive of my decision to do this, which was one of the major reasons why we broke up in the first place. You wanted me to follow you around and take a back seat to your dreams, and you didn't give two thoughts about what I wanted."

"That's not true. Listen, if this is something you're actually seriously about…"

"Of course I'm serious!" I said exasperated. "You knew I was serious when I told you I was moving out there."

"Ok fine. I'll come stay with you then…. Even though you know I'm allergic to - whatever the hell is planted out there that always gave me an allergy attack every time I went with you to visit that place in the past. But I will sacrifice for you, and even force my beloved dog to be pinned up so she can't attack the horses or anyone else who comes there."

"I don't want you to come stay with me," I said through gritted teeth. It didn't matter how blatantly clearly I was, he just didn't seem to get it.

"Bella, we belong together."

"No, we don't!"

"You shouldn't be alone out there anyway," he said, refusing to listen to me.

"Okay, just stop!" I practically yelled. "We are done. I've moved on; you should too. And you don't have to worry about me anyway, I'm not even alone out there anymore."

"Someone is living with you? Let me guess, its one of the Cullen's? I bet Carlisle finally convinced Esme to dump Alice on you full time. I mean, she is the real reason why they gave you the ranch, right? You will never own that place yourself. You'll always be living off of them, and they allow it because they need you to be Alice's future caretaker since they know Emmett doesn't want to do it..."

I was absolutely fuming from his words. Not that I was really surprised, he was always a jackass when he didn't get his way.

"Actually…" I was about to argue with him, and probably end up being angry with myself later for stooping to his level, but thankfully, we were interrupted.

"Can I help you?" Mike asked, irritated by his presence.

"No thanks," Edward replied nonchalantly. "Well actually, maybe you can. This store seems to be out of everything I was looking for. Strange. Are you a manager here or just a clerk?"

"My family owns this store," Mike replied sharply.

"So, you mean, your parents own it?" Edward asked cockily.

"Who the hell are you?" Mike asked him bitterly.

"He's…" I started to say, but then I paused as I tried to think of what to call him.

Edward took the lead and shot his hand out towards Mike. "Edward Anthony. Nice to meet you. I have to say, everyone in this town, including the store clerks here, have all been very warm and friendly. Even the store owner's son is going out of his way to introduce himself and make me feel welcome. I have never encountered anything like it before."

"Yeah, well… This woman and I were just having a private conversation," Mike told Edward, clearly confused as to what was going on.

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't realize," Edward said in an overly fake friendly tone. Then he turned back to me. "Bella, after you're done talking to the nice owner's son, why don't you meet me out in the car. I feel so dumb, I left my wallet at home so we're going to need to come back for all that stuff later."

"This is the person living with you?" Mike asked incredulous. "You're living with a man? What the hell, Bella? We just broke up a few weeks ago and you are already shacking up with some... freak with messy hair?"

"We can't all have perfect tresses like yours," Edward said unfazed. "Tell me, how many products do you actually use in your hair?" Edward turned back to me. "So this is your ex? When you lived with him, did you have any room for your stuff in the bathroom too, or did all his crap completely take over every shelf and drawer?"

I tried to hold it in; I even covered my mouth with my hand in an attempt to stop it from escaping, but I laughed anyway. "He does have a lot of hair products," I confirmed.

"I'd even bet there are more products in his bathroom than are actually currently here stocked on the shelves in this store," Edward continued.

"Probably," I agreed.

"This is ridiculous!" Mike snapped. "I hope you're happy now, Bella, but if you think for a moment this guy is going to help you support that ranch and take care of Alice, you're in for a rude awakening," he said before turning and storming off.

I watched him leave, and just for a moment I had an urge to go after him. Mike and I had been together for over five years, and it wasn't the first time we had separated. I supposed he assumed we'd get back together like before, and a part of me figured we would too eventually. He was what I knew. He was safe and comfortable, even when he was being a jerk.

My life had always been built around being safe, but as I looked over at the man I had only just met the night before, suddenly I was beyond sure that I was done with all of that. Taking chances was a good thing, and I had laughed more with Edward in that short time than I did in years with Mike.

"Shall we leave?" Edward asked me, unsure probably due to my hesitation.

I smiled at him. "We shall."

I pushed my basket over to the side, so it wouldn't be in anyone's way, and then we left. Walking out of that store was definitely a relief, and somewhat cathartic in a way. I no longer had the idea of us reconciling hanging over my head. Mike and I were never going to be together again, and when I realized just how grateful I was for that, I wondered why I didn't completely let go of him sooner.

"So… That was fun," Edward said as I drove us back towards the ranch.

"Yeah, sorry. You can just have whatever food you want from my house until I can go to the other store tomorrow… I'm actually pretty embarrassed you were dragged into that."

He waved his hand dismissively. "I really don't mind, but I probably should apologize to you."

"Why?" I asked baffled.

"For overstepping. I want you to know that I didn't think for a second that you couldn't handle yourself with that guy. I'm not someone who likes to pretend women need to be controlled and are incapable of taking care of their own issues."

"Well, I do appreciate that. In fact, its rather refreshing to hear. Most of the men in my life seem to feel they need to take care of me all the time. It can be a bit…."

"Annoying?" he said with a laugh.

I smiled, but quickly became serious again. "That too, but I was going to say suffocating. My dad was always so overprotective, and I will always love him dearly, but… its kind of hard to grow up and find yourself when there's someone always there to guard you from making any mistakes."

"He was probably just doing it because he worried about you. I think most good parents would do the same."

"Yeah, but he wasn't like most parents. He took it to extremes because of what happened to Alice."

"Alice?" he questioned confused.

"Oh, you don't know anything about that, do you?" I asked, realizing that he probably wouldn't have known since he grew up in another part of the country. "Sometimes I forget that there's anyone left in the world that doesn't know about it. It was such a big deal around here for so long."

"Well, what happened?" he asked curiously.

I considered whether or not I should say anything since it was so deeply personal, but I figured most of it was public knowledge from being in the media, so he may as well know too. "Alice was kidnapped from her father's hospital when she was nine."

"Oh… Wow, that's horrible."

"Yeah, my dad was the lead detective on the case. That's how he first met Carlisle and Esme. I cant imagine what they went through."

"But… she was found?" he asked. "Didn't your ex back there mention something about you taking care of her?"

"Yeah, she was found when she was around seventeen… but of course, she wasn't the same. Her doctors said she was never able to mature when she was gone, in fact, over the years since she's been back she's regressed even further. She currently has the mental and emotional equivalence of a three year old, but she also doesn't speak much." I shook my head. "She's just never recovered."

"That's really…. Terrible," Edward said sincerely, obviously unsure how else to respond. I didn't blame him. How was one supposed to respond to something like that? It was unfathomable, and yet it was the reality I had grown up in.

We were both quiet for a few minutes, but I couldn't stop thinking about Alice at that point - "Even with all she's been through though, she still has this… I don't know, inner strength about her. Not everyone can see it, but I always have."

"So, you're pretty close to her?"

"Yeah. My dad and I were living with the Cullen's when she came home. I was around four, or so. She used to cry all night for her teddy bear - you know, like any child would in a new situation. Her cries would turn into blood curdling screams that carried throughout the entire house."

"That must have been scary for a child your age?"

"It was, but… I don't know, even at four I understood that she had been hurt and was just scared. I remember wanting so badly to help her in some way."

"Were you able to?" he asked softly.

I shrugged. "I like to think I did. The Cullen's had bought her so many toys hoping something would soothe her, but she just kept crying… But one day, I got her to smile at me. We were both around the same maturity level at that point, so I guess she could relate to me better than anyone else around. Eventually she started playing little games with me, and we have been close ever since."

"Well, I guess I can see why you would have been a little sheltered growing up."

"Yeah, it was horrible for the Cullen's, but it was hard for my dad too. He never had a case like that before. He told me once that when the days turned into months and then years with no trace of her, it was devastating. He felt responsible. It was his job to find her and he just couldn't. He became extremely close to Carlisle in that time; Carlisle was even the best man in my parent's wedding, but my dad always carried that guilt, you know? He was a detective, and he didn't even know that kind of evil existed in the world. So when I was born, he always kept me in arm's reach."

"That's understandable," Edward said quietly.

"Yeah… and I love him for it, but its been hard for me to branch out on my own. I was with Mike for so long because he was safe and he treated me like a child at times… and I didn't know it could be any different until recently."

"That guy does seem like an arrogant dick… No offense."

"None taken. He is an arrogant dick. And even worse, he's super controlling. It was something I thought I needed since every aspect of my life had always been so planned out and smoothed over for me. Its like I was born covered in bubble wrap, and everyone around me made sure I never experienced any kind of pain or got hurt in any way. Its like, they couldn't protect Alice, so they were going to make damn sure I never got hurt in any way… I've never even been lost on a car trip before. I was rarely allowed to go anywhere alone, and when I did, my route was so planned out for me that it would have been impossible to even turn down the wrong street… And I grew up before GPS in cell phones," I sighed. "I don't know, maybe I'm just being an ungrateful, whinny brat."

"I don't think so. Everyone should be allowed to make their own mistakes."

"Well, I definitely made one in dating Mike for so long."

"Can't argue with you there," Edward agreed.

A thought entered my mind, and I laughed. "It was so funny watching Mike's face when he realized you were living with me. He practically knows everyone I do, so to have a stranger with me was shocking for him. He knows about everything with Alice, so he was beyond shocked. None of the Cullen's, myself included, really have anything to do with strangers. So having you at the ranch is really something."

"Rosalie didn't seem to have any trouble hiring me, and then sending me out to you," he contradicted.

"Yeah, well she just married into the family. I'm sure if Emmett knew she sent you out here, he'd flip a lid. He's another one who thinks he's my dad."

"And Emmett is related to you how again?"

"He's not, technically. He's Alice's brother. He was only a baby when she was taken."

"So you two were raised together?" he understood.

"Basically. He and I have been more like siblings than he and Alice ever got the chance to be. He's had a hard time connecting with her, but he still loves her with a fierceness, and I know he's planning on taking over her care one day when his parents no longer can. I don't know what Mike was talking about back there when he said he wouldn't. Of course, I love Alice and would be more than happy to have her at the ranch with me permanently, but Emmett feels its his responsibility that he fully plans on taking when the time comes."

"I don't think I'd take anything your ex says seriously," Edward assured me. "It sounded to me like he was just trying to get to you. He could probably sense you were finally ready to move on for good."

"I hope so. It would be nice to be able to drive into town and not have to worry about a confrontation with him. I'm hoping if he finally accepts it, he'll just leave me alone for now on."

"Well, seeing how you're shaking up with me now, I think he gets the hint you're not longer available for him," he joked.

"Thank you, for playing along like that. You certainly didn't have to."

"Nah, it was actually pretty entertaining."

Thinking about our little charade for Mike, something suddenly stuck out. "Hey, why did you tell him your name was 'Edward Anthony', rather than 'Edward Masen'?"

"I did?" he asked, seemingly genuinely surprised. "I didn't even realize."

"So?" I urged, since he had paused and looked to be lost in thought.

"Sorry. No, that's weird that I said that. Anthony is my middle name. I used to go by that in high school sometimes. I guess just old habits die hard. Just kinda weird since I haven't called myself that in a long time."

"Why would you go by your middle name instead of your last name in high school?" I questioned. We had just turned onto the ranch driveway, but I was really hoping for a believable straight answer before we parked. Catching a relative stranger in a lie or tall tale of any kind was extremely nerve-racking for me, so I was hoping he'd quickly put me back at ease.

"I didn't come from the most respectable family. I guess I'd get so pissed at my old man for ditching me and my mom that I just didn't want to use his last name." He shrugged. "Its really weird that I'd introduce myself like that. Huh. Wonder why I did that."

"Maybe you just weren't really thinking," I mused, becoming truly suspicious of him for the first time since he walked through my door the night before.

My dad had always told me that if something seems too good to be true, its because it is. I didn't know Edward very well, but the way he presented himself was definitely too good to be true. From his willingness to help with anything and everything around the ranch, and work virtually for free, to his witty humor, and his overt politeness - Something was definitely off about him, and my untrusting nature made it nearly impossible to just believe his brief, strange explanation. Who would just randomly change their name in high school, regardless of the reason?

After we arrived back at the ranch, I pointed out several things I needed him to do, and as soon as he was busy at work, I jumped on my computer and began to do some digging. Because my dad was a paranoid detective, I had learned at an early age different ways to find dirt on anyone. If he committed any crimes, or had even just been a person of interest in anything, I'd find out. I could even check to see how many tickets he had ever gotten. All I needed was his name and age and I could easily pull up every record there was of him.

First I researched the name 'Edward Masen', and besides a parking ticket the year before, it came up clean. If he hadn't flubbed up and given Mike a different name, I probably would have been satisfied by that. But I still felt like I saw him somewhere before, and as I untrustingly sat there in front of my computer, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I had seen his picture on the news or internet. Perhaps he was wanted for some crime, so I tried the name 'Edward Anthony', and I was absolutely flabbergasted at what I found...


	4. Lonely

**Chapter 4 – Lonely**

"Okay, Bella, just calm down," Rosalie said through the phone. I had called her in a panic after my discovery, and of course, she just thought I was being ridiculous. "I don't understand why you're freaking out so much."

"Didn't you hear what I said? Are you even listening at all?" I asked frustrated.

"Yeah, I heard every word. Okay, so he gave Mike his middle name instead of his last name. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that its weird. I'd never introduce myself to anyone as Bella Marie. I mean, who does that?"

"Yeah, but you said so yourself - You found absolutely nothing on either of the names he gave. So, give it a rest already," she tried convincing me.

"I can't!" I snapped at her. I had been so sure I'd find something incriminating on him, and I was still confounded there wasn't anything. I just didn't understand it. I probably would have been less surprised to find out he was on 'Americas Most Wanted' than to find nothing at all.

"I'm telling you, Rose, there's something strange going on with him. How do you explain why I recognize him from somewhere?" I questioned.

"Oh, come on, I certainly didn't recognize him, and we know all of the same people. Maybe he just has one of those faces. He looks like he could be your best friend, or the boy next door."

"No," I contradicted her. "Mike has one of those common, every day, boy next door kind of faces. Edward is very unique looking… very unique and familiar!"

She laughed once. "That doesn't make sense. Are you even listening to yourself right now?"

"And you don't think its at all odd that I found absolutely nothing about him online? Nothing except a single parking ticket. Not even using my dad's codes in the government database? "

"No, what I find odd is that you abuse your dad's codes in that way," she said condescendingly. "You do not work for the government. You shouldn't have access to those records."

"Hey, we both know my dad would appreciate me using them," I argued.

"Yeah, because he was even more paranoid then you. Bella, why don't you just be happy that I sent you a very nice, funny, attractive, wholesome man. And he's not a square like your last boyfriend."

"My 'last' boyfriend? Rose, I am not dating Edward. He is doing some work for me. That's it. I only met him yesterday!"

"I give it three weeks, and you won't give a shit what that hunky man wants to call himself anymore. Just wait."

"Ugh! You are incorrigible!" I said frustrated.

"And you'll end up thanking me for it. I guarantee it," she said with a giggle, before saying goodbye, and hanging up the phone.

I shook my head, and seriously wanted to throw my phone across the room - If it wasn't a vintage rotary phone, I probably would have done it.

Since my search came up with nothing, I closed down my computer and headed outside to see if Edward had any questions about anything, but I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized I had left one of the windows open, and he was working within hearing range of my phone call.

"Hi," I said carefully, unsure how much he actually heard.

"Hey. Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked distractedly. He was standing on a ladder, and was fiddling with the wires from the porch light above us.

"Um, no thanks... I was actually just going to find you to see what you would like for lunch," I said as I glanced at the open window right behind him.

"Anything is fine with me," he replied carelessly. He fiddled with the light a moment more, and then climbed down the ladder before looking at me strangely. "I really need to flip the switch to see if I fixed it. May I go inside the house for a sec?"

"Of course," I told him.

"Are you sure? I don't want to get pepper sprayed or anything," he said with a smirk.

I could actually feel my face redden from embarrassment. "I… um…"

He chuckled. "Bella, I'm joking."

"Oh, I know," I forced out a laugh.

He disappeared into the house, and the light above me turned on, and then he peeked his head out to see it for himself, before he went back in and turned it off. "It looks like this is fixed," he said after rejoining me outside.

"Thank you. I always hate coming home in the dark without that light working."

"Bella, this is my job right now, so you don't have to thank me every time I fix something."

"Oh… right. Well… I'll let you get to work on something else then," I said awkwardly. "I'll tell you when lunch is ready."

"Thanks," he said while grabbing his tools. I turned to go back into the house, but he stopped me. "Oh, and Bella."

"Yes?"

"Look, I just want you to know, I'm not here to hurt you at all, and I'm not running some scam," he said with sincerity. I was about to attempt to deny being concerned about him, but we both knew he heard my conversation with Rose, so there was no point in trying to back out of it. So I stood there and listened to him say whatever he felt I needed to hear.

"I don't have any ties to anyone or anything," he continued. "So, when Rosalie asked me to come, I thought it would be a good experience… but I don't want you to live in fear of me. If I make you that uncomfortable, I think it would be best if I just leave."

"No, I don't want you to leave," I said, feeling terrible for my distrust in him. It suddenly became clear to me that he was actually quite lonely, even if he didn't realize it himself. It was there in his eyes, and although I had a ton of support in my life, I could sympathize. "I shouldn't have freaked out like that and called Rose."

"Actually, that's exactly what you should do when you're worried about something," he said gently. "Be grateful you have people to call who care about you."

"I am," I said honestly. "I'm sorry, its just, like I was telling you in the car, I have a hard time trusting people."

He nodded. "I get it. Trust needs to be earned, and its certainly not something that can be achieved overnight. I've come across some nasty people in my time as well. Just… if I say or do something specific that makes you uncomfortable, tell me. I don't ever want to make anyone feel that way."

"You haven't done anything wrong," I tried assuring him.

He pressed his lips and nodded once, while his green eyes practically pierced straight through me. A strange feeling I never felt before washed over me, and suddenly I had to fight the urge to cry.

Finally he released me from his gaze, which made my chest tightened in a way I definitely wasn't expecting. He then tilted his tools towards me as a gesture that he was getting back to work, and he turned and walked off.

I didn't understand it, but for whatever reason, that exchange made me so incredibly sad - As if my heart was breaking, and I had no idea why. I even had an overwhelming desire to run after him and wrap my arms around him, like the poor guy was hurting and in desperate need of a hug. It was such an odd feeling to have in that situation, and only added to the baffling familiarity that I felt towards him.

I tried speaking to him a few more times about what he overheard that day, in the hope of smoothing things back over and reassuring him that my distrust wasn't really personal, but whatever camaraderie we had begun to build had abruptly disappeared. He continued to be polite and helpful, but there was no more light banter or joking around. He kept all conversation on a shallow professional level, and it made me rather disappointed. I felt as if I lost my chance to get to know him any deeper than that, and even though we were still strangers, I somehow just knew I was missing out on something incredible. He genuinely seemed like a good person, someone I would have been better off for knowing, and I screwed up what could have been a great friendship.

I didn't see much of him for the next couple of days. He was always around, but besides the short meal breaks we took together, he kept his distance. As the days turned into weeks, Edward just molded himself into the scenery on the ranch. Despite my initial struggle with trust, I had quickly grown comfortable with having him there, and a part of me forgot what it was like before him. He just fit; almost like he truly was meant to be there, and the ranch could never feel complete without him again.

"Hey, I was thinking about heading into town to see a movie, do you want to come with me?" I asked Edward one rainy afternoon.

He had been working practically nonstop since he arrived, and although he had ventured into town a few times on his days off, he never seemed to want to put down his tools. It was like he was obsessed with getting all the work done. I appreciated it, of course, but I was worried he'd completely burn himself out.

"Uh… I should really finish getting this window sealed. If this rain continues it could end up being a problem.

"Its under an overhang," I pointed out. "I think it'll be fine for a while."

"I really should go up to the roof to make sure those tiles aren't going to break away. They look pretty old. I wish I would have thought to do that before it started raining."

"Well, there hasn't been any leaks so far," I tried reassuring him.

"This weather really took me by surprise," he continued. "Its still summer. I wasn't expecting rain until early fall."

"Yeah, well, its typical for this area."

"Stupid me. I should have done a little more research. It was irresponsible and unprofessional."

"Its fine. No harm done. Come on. Come with me to the movies. Its Saturday, you shouldn't even be working today. We agreed on a Monday through Friday work schedule."

"There's a lot to do," he argued.

"Yeah, and you're getting paid next to nothing to do it. So, take a break."

He shook his head. "I like to stay busy."

"Me too, but my dad always told me that all work and no play isn't good for anyone, and he was the hardest working man I ever knew."

"I don't know," he said quietly as he considered it.

"Please! I don't want to go alone," I practically begged.

"Just a movie, and then right back here? That would be like, what? Two hours or so?"

"Something like that. Edward, come on. Seriously, you haven't had a real day off in weeks. Come with me… or I'll fire you," I threatened jokingly.

And for the first time in weeks, he smirked at me. "I do believe that's harassment."

I smiled back. "Are you going to call the police? Hate to break it to you, but I know just about every cop in the area. I don't think they'd believe a stranger over me."

"Oh, you're conniving," he deadpanned.

"You have no idea."

He laughed, which was a sound I wasn't sure I'd get to hear again. It was certainly music to my ears; he really did have a great laugh. "Okay, okay, I'll go," he finally conceded. "But since you invited me, does that mean you're paying?"

"Of course," I replied without hesitation.

"Awesome. Well, why didn't you say that in the beginning. Who would pass up a free trip to the movies?"

I giggled. "Come on, let's hurry and we can still make the matinee."

I drove us to the closest theater, and to my pleasant surprise, we laughed and joked the entire trip. Edward really did feel like an old friend somehow, and even though I was beginning to have sincere feelings of trust towards him, a part of me would always wonder why he seemed so familiar.

"So, what are we seeing? Super heroes, chick flick, raunchy comedy, or horror?" he asked as we looked over the titles.

"I'm not really into chick flicks," I admitted.

"What? Come on!" he shouted playfully.

"Oh right, like I believe for a second that you enjoy that kind of crap."

"Ok, not all chick flicks are good, but Nicholas Sparks is my jam."

"Your jam?" I laughed. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"My jam. Like my type of thing. Seriously you never heard that before?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No, never."

"Man, you were sheltered."

"Okay, okay, let's get back to the part where you love chick flicks."

He shrugged. "I just like that they usually have happy endings."

"Aww, you're a romantic. How cute," I teased him.

"Nah, I just think if I'm going to watch make-believe on a screen, it just shouldn't mirror reality in any way."

I stared at him dumfounded for a moment. "So, horror films are closer to reality than stories with a happily every after?" I asked in humorous skepticism.

He thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Pretty much. I've seen a lot of shit in my life, but never heard of a real lasting love of any kind."

"Wow, that's kind of depressing."

He smiled crookedly. "You disagree?"

"Yes! A hundred times over."

"Name one real case of happily ever after?" he challenged me.

I was going to say my parents, because they were truly in love, but then again, my mother died when I was young and my father spent the rest of his life tragically missing her. I pressed my lips still thinking, and then I came up with the perfect answer.

"The Cullen's. Carlisle and Esme are the perfect couple," I said pompously, thrilled to prove him wrong. A strange expression crossed his features, and I didn't know him well enough to understand it, so I chose to laugh. "Aww, are you upset because I won the disagreement?"

He looked to push away whatever weird thought that had crossed his mind, and then he smiled. "You didn't win anything. There's no way you can prove the Cullens are the perfect, everlasting couple."

"But they are," I argued.

"There's no way you could know that."

"Of course I do. They're like second parents to me."

"That doesn't mean you know everything about them. I'm sure they have done things you would never dream of them doing. Besides, even if they were perfect now, they're still probably fairly young."

"They're in their late fifties," I confirmed. "Maybe early sixties."

"See? There's plenty time for something or someone to come along and screw them up. Its too soon to state they definitively have a happily ever after."

"Wow, I didn't take you for a cynic."

"No, its just, from what I've seen and experienced, eventually, karma catches up to everyone. There's no such thing as happily ever after, because nobody is that perfect of a person. Something always goes wrong. Always."

"So, you think my ranch is going to fail?" I challenged him.

He laughed once. "What? How did you make that leap? We're talking about…"

"Happily ever afters," I cut him off.

"Exactly. If you would have asked about your relationship with Mr. Perfect Hair, I would have told you you're probably doomed. It has nothing to do with your ranch."

"Except my ranch is my happily ever after. Its all I've ever really wanted. I basically chose it over my boyfriend."

"No, you chose the ranch over your dead weight. That guy shouldn't even count as your ex. He was awful."

"Ok, well if he's not my ex, and I'm certainly not dating him now, then I guess I have never really had a boyfriend before," I admitted.

"Wait, seriously? He's the only guy you ever dated?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "We met in high school, and we were together off and on for long time. I mean, I went on a few dates with other guys in between, but nothing serious."

He shook his head. "Man, I feel sorry for you."

I giggled. "I know, its embarrassing."

"Well, at least you can admit it. Knowing you have a problem is half the battle."

We laughed some more, but by the time we got around to actually buying our tickets for the movie, the matinee had ended and we decided it wasn't worth paying full price.

"Well, I'm really bummed. I wanted to buy your ticket," I told him.

"You know I wasn't really going to let you buy my ticket, right?" he asked with his crooked smile that was quickly becoming my favorite.

"No, you have to let me pay," I whined. "You said you weren't the suffocating type of guy that insists on taking care of me of me like the rest of the men in my life have been."

"I'm not. I'm perfectly fine living off of you for the rest of my life," he joked. "It's a good thing you kicked that other guy to the curb. I'm going to need you to be my suga-mama."

"Hey now, I'm not supporting any freeloaders, you have to earn your keep. Just keep fixing everything for me, and you have yourself a deal."

"Awesome. Hey speaking of sugar, there's an ice cream shop over there," Edward suggested.

"You want ice cream in the pouring rain?" I asked surprised.

"Its still summer. Besides, you owe me since we missed the movie."

"Oh, I do, do I?"

"Or, I could buy your ice cream seeing how I'm the one inviting you," he said quickly.

"Is that how this is going to work?"

"Only seems fair."

"Alright, fair enough," I allowed.

We went to ice cream, and even though I hated letting him pay since he made next to nothing, I did it anyway. Not because he was the man and felt like I needed to be taken care of, but because he wanted to, just as I had planned to pay for the movie for him. It was nice, and felt so much different than it did when other men paid for me for anything in the past.

When we were done laughing our way through ice cream, we headed home, and I was actually sad when the car ride ended.

"So… back to work, I assume?" I asked as we sat in the car and watched the rain pounding on the windshield.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll take your advice and hang up my tools for the day. There isn't much I can do in this weather anyway," he replied.

"Hey, why don't you come inside the house and we can rent a movie. I'll pop some popcorn. I may even have a candy stash in the pantry."

"We just had ice cream," he reminded me.

"Yeah, but you can't watch a movie without candy."

He smiled, but quickly fell serious. "I don't know. I should probably just head up to my apartment."

"Why? Do you have some kind of thrilling book to finish?"

"Several actually," he confirmed. "But, that's not the reason why."

"OK, why wont you come inside then?" I questioned. "I mean, we practically live together and I feel like I hardly see you. Is it because you're still worried about what I said to Rose over the phone before?"

"No. I told you I understood that."

"Yeah, you said that, but you've certainly kept your distance since then."

"I've been busy working. I thought that's what I was here to do," he said confused.

"It is, but that doesn't mean we can't be sociable too. We're both living here on this property, so we're practically roommates. We may as well make the most of it and be friends. You know, hang out when there's nothing else to do. It can start to feel pretty isolating way out here with no one else around." He stared at me for a moment, and almost looked upset. "What is it?" I asked him concerned. "What's wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I just… I'm sorry, I've just never had that before."

"Never had what?" I asked confused.

"A friend," he said quietly.

My breath caught, and once again I had to fight the urge to cry. I knew he wasn't joking or teasing me; he was confirming my earlier suspicion: Edward was incredibly lonely, and I had to wonder if he even knew what it was like not to be.

"Well, you have a friend now," I assured him, and I knew without a doubt, Edward and I were headed towards a wonderful friendship….


	5. Friends

**Chapter 5 – Friends**

Since our rainy afternoon ice cream trip, and the movie binge at my place that followed, Edward and I had become really close. We didn't just call ourselves friends and not follow though, he legitimately became my best friend, and it happened in a very short amount of time. We just clicked, and I could honestly say there was no one I'd rather spend my time with.

We didn't just spend our free time together either, we pretty much spent all day with each other, working side by side on virtually every chore and project that needed to be done. Even after three weeks straight of only separating at bed time, I still couldn't imagine getting bored with him.

He was hysterical, but he was also incredibly smart, and probably the sweetest human being I had ever encountered. I was right to assume that I'd be better off for knowing him, because I certainly was, and it almost made me feel sorry for every living person who didn't know him.

"So… you never hear from your mom, at all?" I asked him one evening as we were reclining on my living room sofa together, after a long hard day's work. I just couldn't fathom how anyone could know Edward and not want to be in his life. He was simply that incredible of a person; it just didn't make sense.

"Nope. Not in a long time," he answered absently. Edward would willingly talk about almost anything - anything except his family. It was clearly a sore subject for him, and I could see why.

"Don't you ever want to, I don't know, contact her or something? Just to make sure she's OK… Maybe she's hurting from your absence, and you'd never even know it."

He shrugged. "I'm sure she's better off without me around," he said unexpectedly.

"How could you even think that? She's your mother."

He shook his head. "Some mothers were never meant to be mothers," he said with a heaviness behind his words that I hadn't heard from him before.

"Well, I'm glad your mother is, otherwise you wouldn't be here," I said while hugging myself to his side, and resting my head on his shoulder. The physical closeness of that move wasn't abnormal for us. We tended to always be in some form of contact while lounging around. I couldn't even recall the first time we did it or how it made either of us feel, it was just a part of our relationship, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Edward sighed. "Sometimes the idea of me not being here isn't so terrible," he said dejectedly, taking me aback.

"Why would you say that?" I asked, upset by the thought. "Don't ever say something like that!"

"I only meant it would have been better for her if I wasn't born. Having me really screwed up her life. I'm sure she's better off not having to worry about me anymore."

"Well, if you haven't seen her in a long time then you don't know that for sure. That's all I meant. I mean, people change all the time."

"Some people do change… but my mother hasn't. I'm fairly certain of that."

"How do you know?" I argued.

"I just do," he said as a matter of fact, and I knew it was probably best to let the topic go. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

"So… should I get dessert?" I asked him after a few minutes.

"Dessert? I didn't know we had any dessert? I thought we decided to steer clear of the candy aisle for a while since we ate your entire stash in one sitting last time?"

I giggled. "I didn't say dessert was candy. I just happened to have baked today."

"You baked?" He nearly choked on his own spit from shock. "When?"

"Earlier today when you were painting the corral. You didn't notice that I left you alone out there for a while?"

He chuckled. "I thought you were pooping."

I pinched his side, making him squeal. "I don't take that long to go to the bathroom!"

"Okay, okay!" he said while capturing my hand and restraining me from pinching him. "Now, Bella, what did we talk about when it comes to you and the oven?" he asked in a playfully scolding tone.

"That I need to never touch it again?" I giggled. "But we need to reopen that discussion. I haven't set fire to the kitchen in weeks."

He pressed his lips to beg to differ. "Come on now. We both know that isn't true."

"Hey, you were the one cooking when the toaster caught on fire."

"No way, you were making the toast!" he argued.

"Because you told me to do it, so its your fault!"

He laughed and then shook his head. "Well, I'm glad the house is still standing. What did you make?"

I wiggled my brows, and then jumped off the couch to run to the kitchen, and quickly returned with the cake dish.

"You made a cake?" he asked surprised.

"Well, it is my birthday."

"What?" he nearly shouted. "Its your birthday and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to make a big deal out of it, or feel like you needed to buy me anything."

"Damn right I would have made a big deal about it! Its your birthday. It is a big deal."

He got up, but I immediately grabbed ahold of his arm. "Where are you going?"

"To the store. I need to go buy you a gift."

"No, I really don't want anything. Really, I don't. That's why I didn't tell you. All I want is to sit here with you, eat this damn cake that's probably way too dry, and watch Jeopardy. I honestly can't imagine a better way to spend the evening."

He shook his head, but otherwise sat back down. I smiled triumphantly and handed him a fork. Of course, before he would take a single bite, he proceeded to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me deliberately off key while getting half the words wrong. After he was done, and my ears were ringing from his extremely loud pitch, we both sat there and ate the cake right out of the dish, and we nearly finished it too.

"Ugh, I can't eat another bite," I groaned.

"I have to admit, this cake wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting," Edward said while rubbing his overstuffed stomach.

I laughed. "It was actually pretty awful," I argued.

"Yeah, it was," he admitted. "But still better than I expected."

"Hey," I said with mock offense. "It was only a little raw in the middle."

"I hope we don't get sick," he mused before taking another bite.

I picked my fork back up and took another bite as well. It was actually pretty disgusting, and we were both beyond full, but for some reason we kept eating it anyway.

When we were stuffed to the point we could no longer move, we both finally waved the white flag and gave up the battle to finish the cake, and then we leaned back on the couch and continued watching whatever the hell was currently on TV.

At some point, we must have both fallen asleep, because I was awoken to a rattling sound coming from the front door. Was the handle actually jiggling?

Terrified, I tried to nudge Edward awake, and thanked my lucky stars I wasn't alone since I was fairly certain someone or something was trying to break in.

"Edward!" I hissed at him when he didn't stir from my nudging. "Edward, wake up!"

"What? What's wrong?" he asked groggy and confused.

"Something is at the door," I said with a shaky voice. I only wished I didn't leave my handgun locked away upstairs in the safe. It was dumb of me; I was taught better than that. I only hoped Edward and I didn't pay the price of my mistake with our lives.

"Hold on," Edward said with far less concern than I had. He got up quickly, and stayed quiet as he looked out the window.

"Bella?" a loud voice boomed from the other side of the door, and I immediately sighed with relief. "You in there? I see the light is on?" Emmett's voice carried, so I unlocked the door and opened it.

"Hey. You guys didn't tell me you were coming today… super late in the evening," I said while hugging Em, and then hugging Rose who came in behind him.

"Yeah, well it is your birthday," Rose said defensively. "We would have been here a lot sooner, but I couldn't get off work early and we hit a ton of traffic."

"Would have been nice if you called first. You know how I love surprises," I said with light sarcasm, not wanting to really offend them.

"I told Rose that, but she insisted you'd tell us not to come if you knew." Emmett abruptly stopped talking when he noticed Edward. "Who the hell are you?"

"Uh… This is my friend, Edward. Edward, this is Emmett, and you remember Rosalie?"

"Why the hell would he remember you?" Emmett asked Rose.

"He's the guy who redid our bathroom while you were in Florida with your parents a few months ago," Rose said hesitantly, knowing Emmett wasn't going to be happy about that bit if information. "Bella needed some help around here since Jasper was leaving, and I thought he'd fit the bill. Looks like it turned out to be a pretty good situation."

"Wait, you had a stranger in our home while I was away, and then you sent him out here with Bella?" Emmett asked angrily.

"You knew I was fixing up the bathroom then," she argued.

"Yeah, I thought you had Garrett or Benjamin do it. Not some stranger. Where the hell did you find this guy anyway?"

She shrugged. "He left a flyer in our mailbox."

"What?" Emmett shouted. "He could have been anyone. He could have hacked you up into a million pieces! Then you sent him out to the boonies alone with Bella? Seriously woman, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, calm down before you give yourself a heart attack," she said dismissively. "Nobody got hurt, and did you hear Bella? She called him her friend. See? It all worked out."

"Yes, Rose, you were right," I finally told her, which gave her a smug expression. "I'm grateful you sent him."

"I knew you would be," she said before sticking her tongue out at her husband.

"I don't care if it turned out OK this time," Em argued. "That was incredibly reckless. You could have at least waited until I interviewed him first." He turned back to Edward, and stared him down for a few moments. "Do you have a criminal record?"

"Um… No," Edward answered with a bashfulness I certainly wasn't expecting. Not that I blamed him, Emmett could certainly be intimidating.

"What's your credit score?"Em then asked him.

"Uh… I have no idea."

"What grades did you get in school?" Em continued to drill him.

Edward shrugged. "B's and C's."

"Did you go to college?"

"No."

"Ever filed for a bankruptcy?"

"Emmett, stop!" Rose demanded. "Leave the poor man alone! You guys are far too paranoid." She turned to Edward. "Sorry, they had an unconventional upbringing."

Edward shrugged. "I'm used to it by now."

"You can never be too careful," Emmett said defensively.

"So, if you're done giving Edward the third degree, why don't you tell me how you've been?" I asked my pseudo big brother. I spoke to Rose often on the phone, but Emmett was always so busy with work that I rarely talked to him anymore. As annoying as he could be, I truly missed him.

"Oh, I'm definitely not done with my questions just yet," Em maintained. "I need to make sure he's not going to attack you in your sleep."

"Well, he hasn't yet, and we've been alone here for over six weeks," I told him.

"Six weeks? Seriously Rosalie. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" He didn't wait for her answer before turning back to Edward. "Are you fucking her?"

"Emmett? God!" I shouted at him in disbelief.

"It's a fair question, Bella," Em retorted.

"No, actually its not! Its none of your business, Emmett," Rose defended us.

"My sister is definitely my business!" Em argued heatedly.

"She's not your sister," Edward said strongly, which was the loudest he spoke since they arrived.

"She may as well be!" Em shot back.

"But she's not," Edward insisted.

"What the hell does that matter?" Em shouted.

"If she was your sister, her sex life would be even less of your business," Rose pointed out.

"Look, I certainly don't need or want any of the details, but she just got out of a long term relationship, and I don't want to see her get hurt because she jumped into bed with the next guy she comes across," Em tried explaining himself. "There is no reason for her handyman to be in her house at this hour, so yeah, I'm asking that question."

I stared at him absently for a moment, completely mortified by the words coming out if his mouth, but above anything, I worried what Edward was thinking. We were friends, much closer emotionally than I ever was with Mike, but we had never crossed that line, and thankfully, it hadn't come up until that moment.

"I'll tell you what I told Bella when I first got here," Edward said to Emmett. "I'm not here to hurt her. I just want to help her get the ranch up and running."

"Out of the goodness of your heart?" Em asked condescendingly.

"I don't have anywhere else to be, so why not?" Edward replied.

"And what happens after the ranch opens? You're going to be on your way? On to the next single woman who needs something fixed?" Emmett continued.

"I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when it comes," Edward told him.

The idea of Edward possibly leaving the ranch one day made my heart jump, and I couldn't help but interject. "A ranch is constantly growing and changing. It will always require maintenance and things that need to be fixed."

Emmett stared at me incredulously, but didn't comment any further, and neither did Rose or Edward. We all just sat there in uncomfortable silence for several beats, before Rosalie decided it was time to move passed the subject…

"Well, time to open your gifts," she announced.

I groaned. "Don't we go over this every year? I don't want any gifts."

"Yeah, well, you got them anyway," Emmett replied unapologetically. "Mom and dad wanted to be here too, but they're in New York again."

"I know, they called me earlier," I told him.

"Cool. Well, their gift is here too, so get opening."

"I'm going to turn in for the night," Edward said unexpectedly. "It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Cullen," he told Rose.

"Didn't I tell you when you were at my place to call me Rosalie?" she scolded him lightly. "Mrs. Cullen is my mother in law."

"Yes, I do remember that. I apologize. It was good to meet you, Emmett."

"Call me Mr. Cullen," Em said like a smartass.

"Whatever you would prefer," Edward replied carelessly.

"Oh, stop that!" Rose chided her husband, then turned back to Edward. "Its more than fine for you to call him Emmett. We are all friends here, no need to be so formal."

Emmett began to argue with Rose that he wasn't friends with Edward and that he was still a stranger, but I stopped listening to them. I got up and walked Edward to the door…

"Please don't leave," I asked him quietly, even though I assumed he already made up his mind. Emmett was being a bully, and I didn't blame Edward one bit for being uncomfortable. "Emmett is just wary of strangers the way I am, and he's overprotective. I already told you all about that, right? Just give him a chance. He will warm up to you the way I did."

Edward pressed his lips together and smiled, although I could see the sadness in his eyes again, even if he was trying to conceal it. "Its OK, I get it. Have a good night, and happy birthday." He leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek, which was definitely a first for us. We would somewhat cuddle when watching TV, but we had never kissed whatsoever. That simple little peck, however, was enough to make my heart flutter uncontrollably, and that was the beginning of my realization of my true feelings for him.

"Its my birthday and I want you to stay," I practically begged him.

"They came all this way to see you; I'm sure they don't need some stranger getting in the way."

I huffed. "You're not a stranger to me."

He smiled. "And they're your family, so go spend your evening with them. Goodnight."

I wanted to tell him that I'd rather spend my evening with him, and that in such a short amount of time, I felt closer to him than anyone else in the world, but he left quickly and the words remained stuck in my throat. It was probably too soon for declarations like that anyway; I didn't want to freak him out. Besides, I could certainly never say such personal things with Emmett and Rosalie sitting there.

As soon as Edward was out of the house, Emmett visibly relaxed. He questioned me and Rose a little more about him, but he eventually let it go for the night, and returned to his sweet lovable self.

The gifts I opened were great, and I was grateful to have them there, but I couldn't wait to go to bed and be able to wake up to see Edward again. We were only apart a few extra hours more than usual, but I had grown accustomed to it just being the two of us, and I already missed him.

I woke up bright and early the next morning, and got started right away on breakfast. Edward usually cooked dinner for us, but I proved myself safe enough making eggs, so I tried to make it for him just about every morning. I doubled the amount I usually made since Rose and Emmett were there, and I quickly got it ready by seven A.M.

I sat at the table alone and waited for everyone to come, but the minutes passed slowly, and I was still sitting alone, which was strange. Emmett was usually an early riser, and when they stayed with me he knew food got done early so he always woke Rose up. Edward, certainly was always in to eat by seven, so I quickly got worried.

"Where is everyone?" I asked myself.

An irrational thought crossed my mind that perhaps Emmett scared Edward off, so I quickly looked through the window blinds, and was grateful to still see Edward's car there. Maybe Edward just felt uncomfortable eating with Em and Rose, so I figured I'd wait for them to finish eating and then take a plate out to Edward, but they were nowhere to be seen either. Could they really still be sleeping?

I quietly went upstairs to the guest room, and was surprised to see the door wide open. I peeked in, but no one was inside, so I tapped on the bathroom door.

"Yes?" Rose's voice carried.

"Hey, where is everyone?" I asked her.

"If by 'everyone' you mean your brother and your new boy toy, they're out on the property somewhere."

My stomach dropped. "Why?" I asked anxiously, choosing to ignore her 'boy toy' comment. The last thing I wanted was for Emmett to really scare off Edward.

Rosalie opened the door. Her hair was wrapped in a towel like she had just gotten out of the shower, but then she paused. "Do I smell bacon?"

"Yes, I made breakfast like I do every time you guys have come to stay with me."

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry. Usually Em wakes me up for that."

"Its fine," I said carelessly. "What's he doing out there to Edward?"

"Oh, you know Emmett"

"Yes, I do, which is why I'm worried," I told her in a rush.

"Wow, Bella, you really do have a thing for him, don't you?" she said surprised. "You weren't even this nervous when you introduced Mike to your dad."

"I was in high school when I did that," I argued.

"Yeah, and you weren't in love with him yet… In fact, I'm wondering if you ever loved him at all. I never saw you look at Mike the way you were looking at Edward last night. I knew you two would make a good match!"

"Rose, just tell me why Emmett went out to see Edward?" I asked frustrated.

"Maybe for the same reason you're freaking out right now. I think Em saw the way you two were giving each other googly eyes too. He just wants to make sure he's going to treat you right, that's all."

"Rose, Edward and I are not a couple," I told her, yet again.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for? You are both clearly attracted to each other. I mean, gosh, I could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife."

"We're just friends," I said, but with my conviction faltering. I was so close to admitting to myself that Rosalie was right that it scared the hell out of me. I needed to stay focused on the ranch, and as I had learned with Mike, having a boyfriend didn't work with my goal, but then again, Edward was so very different in every possible way…

"Well, I'm starving," Rosalie said, breaking my internal contemplation.

"Yes, please go eat before it gets completely cold," I told her.

"Thanks sweetie. Love you," she said before skipping down the stairs. I followed at a much slower pace as I continued to think about my feelings for Edward.

By the time I got back to the kitchen, Rose was already sitting at the table and was eating, and Emmett and Edward were surprisingly walking through the back door… and they were laughing.

"Hey," I said, unsure if I should be thrilled that they seemed to be getting along, or terrified. "What have you guys been doing?"

"Edward was just showing me all the repairs you two have been doing around here. It looks amazing, Bells."

"Yeah, we've been working hard," I told him proudly.

"You think you'll be ready to open by the end of the month?" Em questioned. "Its coming fast."

"Well, the horses are scheduled to arrive early next week. I'm hoping to get them settled in and ready to meet with patients fairly soon after that."

"Have you talked to my folks about Alice yet?" He asked. "I know they were saying she was excited to come see them."

I bit the inside of my cheek as remembered that conversation. "We haven't talked about it in a while, but yeah, that was the plan. As soon as the horses get here, she's supposed to come stay with me for a while."

Of course I was excited to see Alice and have her there, but I didn't consider the fact that Edward was there as well. She was more than leery of strangers, she was absolutely petrified, and I wasn't sure how she would handle having him around all the time.

"I'm sure it'll be really good for her," Em said with a nod and a smile, then he cleared his throat. "So, Edward here tells me you're pretty much banned from cooking anything more than eggs and bacon,"

I laughed and shot Edward a humorful glare. "You know, there's some things we shouldn't tell people."

"Hey, I was under the impression your lack of cooking skills was common knowledge in your family," Edward replied defensively.

"I generally don't tell Emmett those kinds of things. I'm pretty much going to hear about it for the rest of my life now."

"Tis true, little sister, tis very true," Em affirmed playfully.

The three of us joined Rose at the table, and we all ate together, and much to my pure astonishment, Edward held his own in the conversations and seemed to fit right in. Whatever he and Emmett had talked about while they walked the grounds, must have put them both at ease, because suddenly they seemed like old friends.

"Well, for being a bad cook, that was great. Thanks Bells," Emmett said after he was finished eating.

"You're welcome. I'm glad it didn't suck," I said with a laugh.

Edward got up to do the dishes, like he usually did when I cooked, but Rosalie stopped him. "I'll do those. Hurry up and get out there before we need to head home," she said strangely.

"Get out where?" I asked confused.

"I'm taking Edward fishing," Emmett announced.

"You're going fishing?" I asked Edward, unsure if he was even aware of that plan.

"Uh, yeah, he asked me earlier," Edward replied.

"I wasn't aware you fished," I said, remembering how he once told me he thought fish were disgusting.

"He doesn't," Em answered for him. "Which is why I decided I needed to take him."

"It's a weekday," I pointed out. "I can hardly get you to sit down for a meal on a weekday."

"I know," Edward agreed. "But they're here from out of town, and…"

"And I can't leave here without fishing that lake," Em finished for him again. "Come on, dude. Get a hat, I have all the other supplies you'll need."

"Do you mind?" Edward asked me quietly.

I laughed once. "You don't have to ask me."

"Yeah, I kind of do. You're my boss, and it's during a work day, so…" he shrugged.

I wouldn't admit it out loud, but his 'boss' comment stung a little. I hadn't thought of our relationship that way in a while, and regardless of the fact that technically he worked for me, it really felt like we were actually working together for a common goal. I had begun to almost think of it as our ranch, in a way, and it upset me to hear he wasn't on the same page.

"I won't go if you don't want me to," Edward added when I failed to respond right away.

"No, you should go. Sounds like fun," I told him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, knowing me all too well.

"Nothing," I lied.

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously, but decided to let it go. "Ok. We'll be back in a bit."

I smiled and nodded at him, so he surprised me by kissing me on the cheek again, before heading out with Em.

"I certainly don't know anyone who kisses their boss goodbye," Rose commented.

"Yeah, he sort of makes my head spin," I said honestly.

"I can see that," she said with a giggle. "You know, I really don't know why they're fishing at this hour. They're not going to catch anything."

"They rarely ever do. Even when my dad and Carlisle used to go out to that lake, they hardly ever brought anything home. They just wanted some time to talk and stuff," I told her.

"Men are so weird. Give me a spa and a nice glass of wine anyway."

I laughed at her. "Do you and Emmett enjoy any of the same things?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Sex," she said casually.

"Wow. Ok, well, I guess that's something. But you guys aren't, like… friends at all?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I really wanted to know her answer.

"I don't need Emmett to be my friend. I have girlfriends for that. He takes care of my other needs that the girls cant."

"Yeah, but there has to be more to a relationship than sex. I mean, why get married if that's all it is. You could have sex with anyone."

"You've obviously never had good sex," she said unashamedly. "I'm not surprised, really. Mike does seem like the 'one and done' type. I am so glad you finally moved on from him."

"Okay, okay, can we just change the subject please," I said, really not wanting to talk about Mike or sex right then.

"Hey, you brought it up," she giggled.

Emmett and Edward returned from the lake a couple hours later, and as expected, they were empty handed. However, they both seemed in high spirits, so I figured it was a successful trip. Edward, of course, quickly became antsy from missing that much time from his projects, so he quickly left again to go work out on the property somewhere.

Emmett took his absence as an opportunity to talk to me about him.

"So… I want to apologize for acting like a dick last night," he told me. "And I want you to know, I apologized to Edward too. Its hard for me to trust men around you, but I didn't have to be rude, so I'm sorry."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Em. I appreciate it."

"He means a lot to you, I can tell," he said quietly.

I nodded. "He does. Its kind of scary how much actually," I admitted reluctantly. "I never worried about losing Mike half as much as I worry Edward will decide to… drift away from here. He's never really spent much time in the same spot before."

"Is that why you guys haven't moved past the 'just friends' stage?" he asked, way more perceptive than I was ready to admit.

My chest constricted as I thought about his question. "I don't know. Maybe. He really is a good person, Em, but…"

"But what?" he prompted when I let my sentence trail off.

"I don't know. There's just something… something I feel like he's not telling me."

"So, you still don't trust him?"

"No, that's the thing, I do trust him… I just wish he'd trust me enough to tell me whatever it is," I tried clarifying.

"Well, maybe he will when he's ready."

"Wow, he sure won you over quickly," I teased him.

"I know, its weird, right? But I really freaking like the guy. We were out there just talking, and man, he has some cool stories to tell, and he seems really smart. I don't know what it is exactly… However, what I do know for certain is that I like him a hell of a lot more than Mike. And do you know what? Even though you two aren't really dating, I think he cares for you more than Mike ever did too. I hate saying that to you because you wasted so much time with that idiot, but I'm just being honest."

"You always said you liked Mike?" I said, annoyed Mike was even brought up again.

"I was just trying to be supportive. I knew him really well. Knew his family. He was safe, and that's all I ever really wanted for you. Now I know just how wrong he was for you."

"Well, I appreciate the support… and I'm really glad you like Edward. He is… important to me."

"Yeah, I can tell."

Em and Rose needed to get back home since they worked early the next day, so they said their goodbyes and were off. I planned to go find Edward to help with whatever he was doing the way I usually did, but I decided to take that time to really think about how I truly felt for him. It was definitely an emotional thing to come to terms with, but I quickly realized what I wanted. I only wished I knew how to tell him...


	6. Fear

**Chapter 6 – Fear**

After finally accepting my feelings for Edward, I found myself acting completely different around him, and I hated it.

"What's up with you lately?" Edward asked me one morning. It had been a few days since our visit from Em and Rose, and I hadn't been the same since. I knew he could tell, but I didn't know how to explain it to him.

"Nothing. I guess I'm just nervous about the horses arriving. I hope the ranch is really ready for them."

"Its ready," he tried reassuring me. "I mean, there's things that still need to be done, but you said so yourself before, the ranch will always need something fixed. That's just part of it. Even Emmett said how great it looked, and think how much we've done just since they left."

I nodded. "I know, you're right."

"I'll tell you what, I'll go get that pasture gate finished today, and you'll feel a lot better about everything."

"You think so?" I asked absently.

"Yeah. You're just stressed. It'll be great, you'll see."

I sighed. "Edward, I want to thank you for everything you've done. You have gone above and beyond anything I could have hoped for. I know I wouldn't have gotten even half this far without you."

"Bella, I have never seen anyone more determined than you. You would have found a way to get this done no matter what," he said sweetly.

"I thought I could, but…" I shook my head. "It was a lot more work than I ever thought, and… You kept me wanting to get up and continue day after day. Somewhere in the middle of all this, my main motivation shifted from fixing up the ranch, to just doing anything to be close to you. I would have been just as happy to spend all day every day on the couch with you."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile. "Liar," he teased me. Clearly not understanding what I was trying to tell him – _What was I trying to tell him?_

"No, it's true," I said, and then I took a deep breath, and prepared myself to tell him everything I was feeling, but then…

"Oh shit, it's raining!" Edward exclaimed. "This is going to set us back half a day." He looked back at me and must have interpreted my expression as worry. "Its ok. You know what, I'm going to go out there and finish the gate anyway. Rain isn't really a big deal."

I shook my head. "Let's take the day off."

"What? Why? Are you sick?" he asked in a rush.

"No, I'm just feeling a little burned out. Let's go somewhere… Do something."

"Like what?"

"Anything! I just… It's going to be kind of hectic for a while once the horses get here, and I just want to do something while we can."

"Well, you still owe me a movie," he said playfully.

I smiled at him. "You're on!"

So we went to the first showing of whatever chick flick was playing, since it was Edward's favorite genre, and we spent the entire time laughing as if it was a comedy.

"Shhh!" some old lady behind us hissed.

"I think we're ruining the movie for everyone else," Edward whispered to me, so we tried to take it seriously, but when the protagonist finally kissed his love interest, it was too cheesy to keep quiet.

"Let's get out of here," I whispered to Edward when we got even more disapproving glares.

"Its just getting good," he argued.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the theater, despite his protests.

"I'll owe you again," I told him.

The outing hadn't gone the way I hoped; we had too much fun together, and I wondered if we'd ever escape the stagnant friend zone.

On our drive back to the ranch, I still wasn't my talkative self, and once again, Edward noticed.

"So you ready to tell me what's wrong yet?" he asked after several miles of heavy silence.

"Nothing is wrong," I lied again.

"Well, clearly something is wrong. You're being really quiet."

"No, I just have a lot on my mind," I told him.

"You sure that's all it is?"

I nodded, so he let it go and we rode the rest of the way without speaking.

By the time we made it home, the morning rain had pretty much dried up, so Edward figured it was best to get to work.

"I'm going to go fix that gate… You coming?" he asked, since I usually worked with him on whatever he was doing.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a bit."

"Alright." He went for the door, but something made him pause, and then he turned back. He just stood there and stared at me for a moment, and a look of concern crossed his features. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"If you're ready for me to leave, just tell me."

"What?" My heart nearly jumped out of my throat. "Why would you think that?"

"We agreed on me staying through the summer, and well, summer is just about over. We're friends… so, I mean, if you don't want to hurt my feelings by asking me to go, I just want you to know, it's ok."

"No, no," I told him quickly. "I don't want you to go at all. I've actually been worried you'd want to leave soon. You said you had never stayed in the same place very long. I just don't want you to go."

"Really? You really want me to stay?" he asked eagerly, as if he couldn't believe it was true.

"So… you want to stay?" I asked feeling a level of happiness I couldn't remember feeling before.

"Well, yeah. As long as you want me to."

I could feel my smile spread wide, and then I was in motion. My arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. He responded by embracing me around my waist, and then we just held each other for an incredibly tender moment.

It felt so good to be standing there in his arms, that I never wanted that moment to end, and thankfully, it continued on much farther than I was expecting…

I had no idea how it started, or who even initiated it, but suddenly we were all over each other. The butterflies I had felt when he had kissed me on the cheek was nothing compared to the electric lightning storm raging inside of my body from this kiss. I had never known so much intense passion even existed in the world, and it completely took over every sense, over every nerve ending, of ever fiber of my being.

I couldn't remember when we went up to my bedroom, or how our clothes ended up on the floor, but I knew I'd never forget the moment he pushed into me for the first time.

I had never experienced a greater feeling, both emotionally and physically, and I wondered if I ever would again. That had to be the highest peek of my life, because I couldn't imagine anything feeling better than that.

I wanted to discover every inch of his body; to touch him, and taste him, until I knew him entirely by heart, and then I wanted to do it all over again. I wanted to breathe in his sweet aroma until I could feel his flavor deep inside my lungs. He was intoxicating, and I was instantly addicted.

He moved in and out of me with an intense urgency that told me he had wanted me just as much as I wanted him. It was painful, and beautiful, and when it ended, my body refused to let go of his, even when there was no strength left to hold on to.

He stilled inside of me, and we just breathed together in a surreal moment of pure bliss. A part of me couldn't even believe it actually happened. It was too perfect, he was too amazing, surely something would have come between us before that moment. I wasn't that lucky. The world wasn't that perfect. But as he slowly began pumping into me again, I knew it had to be real. I had no idea what I did right in my life to deserve him, but I certainly wasn't going to take a moment of it for granted.

As the feeling began to build again, I couldn't help but tell him that I loved him over and over. Of course, the overwhelming sensation of his body in mine wouldn't allow for the words to actually escape my lips, but they were there just the same, and somehow I knew he felt it too. We didn't need the words - it was all right there, and I truly believed I had found the other half of me that I didn't even know I was missing.

We didn't speak after our second climax either, we just continued to hold each other for an immeasurable amount of time, until I felt myself drift off to sleep.

It was still in the middle of the day, so I wasn't surprised when I awoke a little while later. What did surprise me, however, was that I woke up completely alone.

"Edward?" I asked, having no idea where he had gone. I sat up and looked around, and when I saw my bathroom also vacant, I realized he wasn't upstairs. I dressed quickly and then went downstairs thinking maybe he was making lunch since we hadn't eaten yet, but he wasn't in the in the house at all.

I peeked out the window and saw his car still clearly visible parked in front of the apartment, so I knew he had to be on the property somewhere.

Why would he leave me, sleeping alone in bed, after just having sex? I didn't understand it, so instead of letting my thoughts run away with hundreds of nonsensical ideas to possibly explain it, I decided to be an adult and go find him to talk.

I grabbed a sweater and then headed for the door, but then I paused and second guessed myself. Was it smart to question him at that moment, or should I give it some time and wait for him to come back? Maybe he just needed to clear his head. I certainly understood that.

I went to the kitchen, and just sat at the table and looked out the window. The ranch really was beautiful, and strangely felt different somehow. Edward had changed me in every way, and I truly couldn't imagine living there without him anymore.

As I sat there, sure enough, my imagination started running wild, so rather than drive myself completely crazy, I decided I couldn't wait around for him a moment longer. I meant to go straight for the door, but made the quick decision to make Edward lunch as an excuse I could use for searching him out.

I made his favorite salami sandwich, wrapped it in a paper towel, and brought it with me outside to search for him. I didn't have to search for long…

"Hey… I brought you lunch," I said, hoping to break the ice.

Edward paused his wrenching to look at me, but quickly continued to work. "Thanks. You didn't have to do that," he said distractedly.

"I'm sure you're hungry. It's not good to miss a meal when working so hard."

He didn't respond, he just kept twisting and turning his tool as if I hadn't even spoke.

"Um… so… the gate looks good," I said awkwardly as I noticed he had completed it the way he assured me he would earlier in the day.

"Mmm-hmm," he said, clearly not paying attention to me whatsoever.

It was awkward, and strange, and hurtful, so instead of sulking off to a dark hole somewhere like I wanted to, I decided I wasn't going to stand for it.

"Ok, so you were getting on my case earlier today because you thought I was being distant and keeping something from you, now you're doing the same!" I said frustrated.

He finally stopped working and stood there staring at me, but his features were completely blank.

"What is going on?" I asked him. "Why did you leave me in my room? Are you… regretting it or something?"

His features remained expressionless, but his eyes spoke volumes. There was pain, and loneliness, and even confusion, but there was also sweet tenderness, and it was all mixed up and looking back at me from his endlessly deep green orbs.

"Say something," I urged when he remained silent.

He sighed. "I don't know what to say," he admitted quietly.

My stomach twisted. I had been hoping his retreat had just been a misunderstanding, but clearly that wasn't the case.

"So… you do regret it?" I asked so quietly I wondered if he even heard me.

"Yes," he said, just as quietly. "I should have never let that happen."

"Why?" I asked so confused my head was spinning. "I mean, I'm sure I'm not as experienced as you are with that sort of thing, but," I shrugged. "I honestly can't imagine it getting much better than that," I said, immediately mortified that I actually said that out loud.

"It has nothing to do with whether or not I enjoyed myself," he said before seemingly becoming agitated. "I knew this would happen," he mumbled under his breath while turning away from me. He quickly turned back and then sighed. "Bella, that was… so much more than I ever thought it could be. And I have thought about it… so much more than you can even imagine."

I put my hand up to stop him. "Seriously, I don't need you embellishing for my sake," I said, unsure if I should be embarrassed or offended.

"I'm not. You honestly think it's been easy living here with you, and getting to know you, and dealing with the fact that I've never wanted anything more than you, but still trying to keep that separation because sex always screws everything up? Let me just tell you, it's not easy. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

I swallowed roughly. "Why does sex screw everything up?"

"Because it changes everything. Now, no matter how amazing it was making love to you, things will always be… strained."

"Why?" I questioned, still confused as to what his issue was.

He huffed. "You're the only real friend I've ever had. Now..." He shook his head. "Now I know that no matter what I do, I'm going to lose you."

"Why do you think that?" I asked softly, suddenly realizing he only pulled away out of fear.

"I told you already. Happily ever after is only in movies. It's not real. Someone always gets hurt, and Bella, I swear to you, from the moment I met you, you became the very last person I'd ever want to hurt."

I pushed my brows together. "Then don't hurt me."

He laughed once humorlessly. "Its that easy, huh?"

"Yeah, it really is."

"What about when it ends?" he challenged me.

"I don't believe everything has to end," I told him.

"But they do," he argued.

"Then our friendship would have ended eventually anyway," I pointed out.

"Maybe, but… I think that would have been easier. Bella, there are a hundred reasons why this was a mistake. If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat."

"So, you would choose to miss out on something that could possibly be truly incredible? The only reason you don't believe in everlasting relationships, is because you've never seen it. But that doesn't mean it's not real or impossible."

"You haven't seen one either," he pointed out.

"That doesn't mean they don't exist," I repeated. "After my mom died, my dad told me that he'd rather have a short time of happiness with her than to have never known her love at all."

"Better to have loved and lost," he said, acknowledging the quote.

"Exactly!"

He stared at me for a moment, as if he was searching within himself for the possibility of truly believing that, but then a darkness crossed through his eyes and he shook his head. "Bella, there's something I haven't told you."

"Okay?" I asked, hoping to finally get to the bottom of whatever he was keeping from me.

He began to move his lips, but no sound came out, so he pressed them together and stared at me. "I… I cant…"

"You can't tell me?" I asked frustrated.

He shook his head no.

"Fine. Then don't tell me," I said, realizing it didn't even matter. "Whatever it is, don't tell me if you're so afraid of it."

"You're right, I am afraid of it, because I know it'll make you hate me."

"I could never hate you," I said sincerely, but he wouldn't listen.

"You'll never forgive me, and I don't know if I can handle that. I never meant to come here and… fall in love with you. I wouldn't have come if I knew, and now it's all gone to hell."

I tried to rack my brain about what he could possibly have done in the past to make me hate him, and honestly, there was nothing. Nothing in the entire world could ever change the way I felt for him.

"Edward, it doesn't matter what happened before, and we can't worry about what may happen in the future… all we can do is live for now. If you want to tell me the truth someday, then tell me, if not, then don't, I honestly don't care. But don't let whatever it is get in the way of being happy now."

Edward continued to stare at me, so I pretty much got the hint that he was done discussing it. I didn't know how our relationship could move forward from that point. He was right after all, sex did ruin the great friendship we had, and I didn't know where to go from there. But I certainly couldn't stand there and make a fool of myself for a moment longer, so I turned to leave but…

"Bella, wait," he said, making me pause and then turn back to him.

"Don't say anything you don't mean," I warned him. "If you don't want to be with me, it's fine."

"I do want to be with you. So fucking much that it's literally killing me inside. You're right, I'm just scared."

"Yeah, well you're being a coward," I told him.

"I know," he agreed. "Can you just… do something for me?"

I couldn't believe he had the audacity to ask for a favor in that moment, but I also couldn't help the way I felt for him, so as a masochist that I just seemed to become, I waited for him to make his request.

He took two steps towards me, so he was close enough to reach out and touch me, but he kept his hands locked down besides him.

He moistened his lips with his tongue, and then he took a deep breath. "I need you to… just be sure… that no matter what you ever find out about me… this… right now… is real. I need you to know for certain, despite anything else that may happen, regardless of what has happened already, just know that I never feigned who I was with you."

"But… you've lied?" I assumed, based on his cryptic comment.

He bit the inside of his cheek, and then, ever so subtly, nodded.

"And you can't tell me what about?" I concluded.

"I wish I could."

"Whatever it is… you can trust me with it. If you're in some kind of trouble, I can help you. We can figure it out together."

Again, he shook his head. "I can't ever tell you this. If you can't accept that, I'll leave you alone. It'll be like I never existed."

"Yeah, like that's even possible," I scoffed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I bit my bottom lip, and then considered it. He wasn't wanted by the police, at least, it wasn't documented anywhere online, so I really didn't know what his big devastating secret could be. The more I thought about it, the more I could only come up with two possibilities I couldn't live with...

"Are you married?" I asked him, hoping he had the decency to grant me that peace of mind.

He smirked. "No. Never had a relationship of any kind that lasted longer than a week."

I nodded. "Have you ever killed anyone? Or hurt anyone physically in any way."

He looked down at the ground momentarily, but quickly locked eyes with me again. "No. Only myself," he said strangely, but because I wanted to believe him so badly, I chose to let that last comment go.

Perhaps it was stupid and naïve of me, but above all else, there was really only one question that truly mattered to me. "Do you love me?"

He smiled, but his eyes conveyed a mix of relief and a whole new set of fears.

"Bella, I love you more than you could possibly comprehend," he told me, with a level of conviction that I had never heard from anyone before. Whatever lies he had told me before didn't really matter, because I believed the words he was speaking to me in that moment with every fiber of my being.

"Okay," I said before closing the distance between us, and molding my body to his. What followed was a kiss that was more intense than anything I had ever experienced before.

There was no mistaking the raw passion between us. It was overwhelming and irrevocable, and as we made love right there against the barn, I knew it would eventually consume me completely. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of it, but it wasn't enough to detour me either. The love I had for him was definitely worth the risk.

It didn't really matter what would come next. Whatever it was, good or bad, I had no choice but to hold on tight with every last ounce of energy I was capable of, and hope that somehow we both survived it...


	7. Serenity

**Chapter 7 – Serenity**

"Wow," Edward said, clearly amazed by the majestic grandeur of our newest residents.

"I know, right?" I squealed. "They're incredible."

"Are you crying?" he teased me.

"You have no idea how much this means to me," I said while wiping the moisture from my eyes. I could sit there and watch those magnificent creatures all day and never get bored.

"I think I have a pretty good idea. You've only been talking about this since the day I met you."

I shook my head. "Oh no, I've been talking about these horses much longer than that. This has been my dream since I was a little kid and got to witness Alice with a horse at the therapy ranch in Texas. I knew back then that I needed to do this some day. The way she came alive like I had never seen from her before. It was… miraculous in a way."

He nodded. "I can see that."

"Well, they seem to be calm and settling in nicely. Do you want to meet them?" I asked him.

"Uh… Like, go into the pasture with them?" I nodded with a big excited grin, so he quickly shook his head. "I can see them perfectly well from this side of the fence."

"Oh, come on!" I whined. "They're our babies."

"Um… honey, I want a paternity test," he deadpanned, and I couldn't help but laugh. In fact, despite being scared to death that moving our relationship to the next level would kill our friendship, it truly couldn't have been further from the truth. Edward and I still had the best time together, and I couldn't possibly be happier. Occasionally, I'd think about his big bad secret, but mostly I was just grateful we hadn't missed out on that amazing time we were sharing.

"Come on," I insisted, and before he could make up even more excuses to get himself out of interacting with the horses, I unlatched gate and pulled him inside.

"I did tell you that I have an unreasonable fear of animals, right? Especially very large ones," he said while we walked towards them.

"You'll be fine. I will be right here with you the entire time," I assured him.

"So, do I get some kind of reward for doing this?" he asked with a mix of worry and excitement.

"Anything you want," I told him.

"Hey, don't make promises you can't deliver. I want a lot."

I giggled. "If you're referring to sexual favors, you know I have no issues with anything you want."

"Awesome, let's go do that first!"

"Nope. You re not getting out of this."

"I'm not trying to get out of it, I just think it would be best if we have sex first, that way if I die during this little meeting of yours, at least I'll die happy."

"We already had sex this morning," I argued. "You should still be happy."

"Morning sex doesn't count…" he continued, but that was when we came upon the horses, so he abruptly stopped talking.

"Aren't they even more impressive up close?" I asked in awe, before reaching out and rubbing the mare on her head.

"More like terrifying," Edward contradicted. "You know, I have to say, I really don't understand how this could be therapeutic. I've seen some traumatic things in my time, and if anything, being this close to that beast only makes me want to hide in a dark closet more than I ever wanted to before."

I huffed. "You're not even trying. If you would be quiet for a few minutes, and just… breathe with her, you'll see how amazing it can be."

"There is no way I'm closing my eyes while this close to that thing."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I suppose not everyone could connect with animals. It was sad, in a way, and a little disappointing. I wanted Edward to love our four beauties as much as I did, but I wasn't ready to give up just yet. It may take time, but eventually I was sure they'd grow on him.

"Ok, well I appreciate you coming out here with me," I told him before wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him tenderly.

"Not that I had much of a choice," he mumbled against my lips.

Edward decided he needed to finish up a few more things around the ranch, so I took some time to make sure the horses were comfortable in their new home. It wasn't until I got them fed and groomed that I realized just how much work went into caring for horses. It was practically a full time job by itself, and I knew I would need even more help.

"Hey, so I was thinking," I began at dinner that night.

"Uh oh," Edward teased me.

"Come on, this is kind of a big deal, so just listen," I told him.

"Okay, what's up?" he asked sincerely.

I bit my bottom lip. "Well, I was out with the horses and trying to figure out how I'll manage caring for them all by myself, and concentrate on the patients, and have any time left for anything..."

"Bella, look, I'm a little freaked by them, but I'll do whatever you need me to. I figured I'd be the one cleaning out their stalls and all that."

I smiled at him. "I know you would. But there's so much I don't even know about horses. I mean, I've worked with them before, but the place I studied at had an experienced ranch hand caring for their daily needs. He knew when they were sick, and when their hay went bad, and how to care for their hoofs."

"Ok, so you have some kind of solution I'm assuming?" he asked.

I bit my lip nervously again, having no idea how he was going to react to my idea. "Well…"

"Bella, just tell me," he urged.

"Ok, don't freak out, but I was thinking about firing you."

He raised his brows at me in shock.

"I said don't freak out!" I reminded him. "In a couple months, I should be able to afford to hire a guy full time. Since you don't even hardly go into the apartment anymore, we may as well let the new guy live there."

"Wow, so now I'm unemployed and homeless, and I bet that guy will get paid a real salary. On top of all that, you'll probably end up falling for him too. I'll be completely replaced. This is exactly why I never get attached to anything "

"Edward, stop," I said, slightly bitter he wasn't taking the conversation seriously.

"Don't worry about it. I'm used to being tossed away like yesterday's trash. Story of my life."

"Are you done yet?" I asked after he finally paused.

He smiled crookedly at me. "Yes. Sorry."

 _He was lucky he was so damn cute._

"I'm not talking about hiring anyone tomorrow. I just know it's going to get busy and become necessary."

"Okay, but what's going to happen when your family comes to visit. I doubt they'd appreciate me staying here in the house with you."

"Why would they care?" I asked confused.

"I don't know. Could be awkward. We haven't been together all that long."

"The Cullens assured me that this is my place to do what I want with. They're not going to mind one bit."

"If they're so generous with giving you this place, then why is it still in their name instead of yours? Why don't you have the deed? Until you have that, there's always the possibility of them taking it back from you."

I shook my head. "Why would they do that?"

"All I'm saying is that you never know."

"Okay, well I do know. They wouldn't do that, especially not to me."

"Then why isn't it in your name?" he asked again.

"Because, they are doing me a favor. If the business goes under, I won't be stuck. They're actually carrying the liability which is a huge risk on their part. I'm very grateful for them."

He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, where's all the sudden mistrust of the Cullens coming from?"

"Bella, I have never met them, I have no reason to mistrust them, or trust them at all for that matter. I'm just pointing out the fact that they could easily and legally put an end to this entire thing. I just don't want to be the reason you lose your dream. If they don't like me…"

"They will love you, the same way Emmett already does. You know that man hardly ever makes time to call me, but since he was here last he's called you five times!"

Edward shrugged. "He probably just doesn't want to talk to Rose when they're home alone, so he calls me."

"What do you two talk about anyway?" I asked curiously.

"Mainly he just complains about his job, or he goes on about whatever the most recent sporting game he watched on TV. I figured he was just bored and didn't have many other guy friends to talk to."

"Emmett has a ton of friends," I contradicted.

"Hmm. I don't know then. Maybe he knows I don't have any. He's just probably trying to be nice."

"That's just not like him," I said, momentarily lost in thought. Emmett's recent closeness to Edward, a virtual stranger to him, was indeed odd. I really didn't know what to make of any of it.

"He's your brother, not mine," Edward said dismissively. "If you don't understand him, I surely can't."

"I know… It doesn't even matter! I don't know how we started talking about Em anyway," I said, frustrated by how off topic we became.

"Ok, look… If you need to hire someone to care for the horses, just do it. You don't need to ask my permission. This is your ranch."

"But I want it to be _our_ ranch," I said, finally getting to the point I had been trying to make. I couldn't imagine him ever leaving anyway, so why wait. "I want you to live in the house with me, and make all the decisions with me, and go through all the good and bad and ups and downs with me. I want us to share it all together."

He nodded absently as he considered everything I was saying. "Okay," he said quietly.

"Okay?" I asked. I wasn't sure how I expected him to respond, but his casual acceptance certainly wasn't it. "That's all you have to say about it? Just 'okay'."

"Bella, I love you. I don't ever want to be away from you, and yeah, this is a little soon, but what difference does it make in the long run."

I smiled at him. "That's sort of what I was thinking."

"So, Alice is coming this weekend, right?" he asked. I nodded so he continued. "Let's just wait for me to move all my stuff out of the apartment until after her stay. That way if I make her uncomfortable, I can stay out there and make sure she has all the space she needs."

I sighed. "I want her to be comfortable here, but like I told you the other day, she will just need to get used to you. It may take a little time, but she will get there. She doesn't like strangers, but she does warm up to some new people eventually. She's going to be coming and going from here a lot, so, it'll be okay after a while," I said assuredly.

"Still, based on everything you've told me about her, I think it would be best to take it slow."

I nodded. "I suppose you're right."

"So, after she's comfortable, and you talk to the Cullens and they're okay with it, I'll move in here with you and you can give that apartment to anyone you want. I'll even donate my five hundred big ones to the cause."

I shook my head, but couldn't help but smile widely regardless. "The Cullens won't care, but if it makes you feel better, then we will do it your way… and I've already taken your salary away from you anyway. When was the last time I actually paid you?"

"Probably when we started sleeping together. You know, sleeping with the boss is supposed to help you make more money, not less."

I laughed at him. "And how would you know that?"

"Chick flicks, of course."

"Well, you were the one who said there wasn't a single realistic chick flick," I pointed out. "In real life, you sleep with the boss and you get fired."

"Apparently," he snorted.

We started eating again, but Edward strangely kept glancing out the window through the remainder of our dinner. After the fourth time, I decided to question him. "What are you looking for?"

"Oh… Um…" he stumbled over his words, clearly surprised that I had noticed him. "I was just looking at…"

I raised my brows at him challengingly. I knew he was trying to think of a quick lie, and he knew I knew.

He chuckled lightly. "Ok, I keep looking to see if it's dark yet."

"Why?"

"I may have been working on a little surprise for you today… but you can't see it till dark."

"Did you… fix the light on the barn?" I asked, clueless about what kind of surprise could only be seen at night.

"Uh, I fixed that last week."

"Oh… Wow, I guess I'm really not that perceptive."

"Babe, it's not a big deal. I know you've been stressed lately. Besides, I doubt you'd recognize every little thing that I've fixed."

I shrugged. "I had a list going."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you did. Well, if you show it to me, I can start crossing the stuff off of it as I go."

I smiled back at him. "Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea."

Sitting there, across from him at the table, was sometimes a difficult thing to do, especially in the evenings. It wasn't quite dark yet, but we were done with our chores for the day, and all I wanted to do was attack him. I used to enjoy a hot bath, followed by some evening television or a nice book to relax after a long day, but with that beautiful man before me, all I wanted to do was to take him to bed.

I stood and walked around the table, before lowering myself onto his lap and planting my lips to his. I kissed him hungrily, and he returned the kiss with just as much passion, but when I tried to pull his shirt off, he put on the breaks.

"You need to hold that thought," he told me.

"Why?" I practically whined, desperate for the sweet release only his body could give me. I didn't wait for his answer. I couldn't. I simply wasn't strong enough, and I resumed kissing him.

"Bella," he said against my lips. "Hey," he tried stopping me by turning his face away, but I just moved my attack to his neck.

I was like a crazed animal, it was actually quite embarrassing, but I couldn't stop. When my kissing was joined by my hand creeping under the waist band of his pants, he must have decided it wasn't worth the fight, so he threw up the white flag and submitted to my will.

He shoved everything over on the table, then lifted me up so I was lying across it on my back. He then proceeded to kiss his way down my body while stripping my clothes off as he went, until I was naked from the waist down. His kissing continued on to my bare hips, then traveled inward until he found just the right spot and let his tongue take over.

When it became too much for me to hold on to, he traveled up my body and unfastened his pants before pounding into me in the most amazing way possible.

Every moment with him, every touch, every kiss just got better and better, and I couldn't help but wonder when it would actually peak. Surely there had to be a highest point in our love, but I had yet to even catch a glimpse of it.

When we were finished on the table, I wanted to move up to the bedroom, but he put the breaks on once again.

"Come on, I really want to show you something first. It's almost time, so hurry up and put your pants back on."

Being temporarily satisfied, I reluctantly agreed.

After dressing quickly, he took my hand and led me outside. We walked, following the long tree lined driveway, out towards the property gate, and then we waited. For what, I had no idea.

"Is something supposed to happen?" I asked after a few moments.

He nodded, then glanced down at his watch. "In one minute."

The last remaining colors faded from the sky, leaving us standing there in darkness, with the only light coming from the moon. It was a beautiful warm evening, with a gentle breeze blowing through the trees. I was standing there with the person I loved most, and I couldn't imagine a more serene moment. Of course, that moment was quickly topped when the minute passed and suddenly all of the trees in the driveway came to life with millions of tiny white twinkling lights.

"Oh my god. Edward, this is…" I let my words trail off when I realized there wasn't a way to properly describe just how truly amazing it was.

"I figured it's so dark here, might as well bring some sparkle."

"Thank you. It's… perfect."

"And on a timer, so they will automatically go on and off every night."

"Where did you even find all the lights during this time of year?"

He laughed once. "Are you kidding. It's almost October. All the Christmas stuff is already flooding the stores."

"I guess I haven't been to the store in a while," I mused, but quickly forgot about it, and just held on to Edward and admired the ranch in all its evening glory.

The wind in the trees mixed with the gentle hum of the crickets, along with all the other nighttime noises, made for a sweet symphony of sorts. Without even intending to do it, Edward and I started rocking to the cadence, and then I realized we were actually dancing.

It had to have been the most romantic moment of my life thus far, and I couldn't help but tease him a little…

"You know, for a guy who likes to watch chick flicks because they're the furthest thing from reality, this sure feels like it could be a scene from one."

"Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing," he admitted. "How do you do it?"

I giggled. "Me? You're the one who set this entire thing up."

"Nah, I just thought adding lights to the trees would help us see the driveway at night. This slow dancing in the moonlight thing is all you."

"I didn't initiate this," I argued feebly.

"Well, I can assure you, I would never do this with anyone else… or even consider doing it at all if it weren't for you."

I bit my bottom lip. "I honestly wouldn't either… Not with anyone other than you," I said softly. He kissed me tenderly, and then we both quieted and just enjoyed the serenity of the moment…

.

 *****A/N: Is it just me, or did that sort of feel like the calm before a storm? ;)**


	8. Brewing

**Chapter 8 – Brewing**

As a child, storms would often scare me because of their strength. They were so loud and angry sounding that I was sure God had to be upset about something. As I grew up, however, storms scared me for an entirely different reason - their unpredictability. Some would roar ferociously but pass quick enough without causing much lasting damage, but others would build slowly, and you wouldn't even know one was upon you until you were caught in the middle with no hope of escaping. Those were the storms that had the power to destroy absolutely everything, and that was exactly the type of life changing storm I would soon be consumed by – _I only wished I realized it when it first started brewing..._

"Why do you look so nervous?" I asked Edward as we sat in the living room, waiting for the Cullens to arrive.

"These people are important to you. I just don't want to fuck it all up."

"Please try to stop with all of that. There's no reason to think you could do anything that would upset them that much."

He shook his head subtly, but otherwise let my comment go. We had been over that topic before, so there was no point in rehashing it. I knew he'd continue to stress until he actually met them and saw, once and for all, that there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

About half an hour later, a car pulled up in front of the house, and Edward looked like he was ready to puke. "Its going to be fine," I assured him yet again, before getting up and heading out the front door to greet them.

"Hey, you made it!" I said while rushing over to hug Esme after she climbed out of the driver's seat.

"Hello, my sweet angel. Everything looks amazing!" she said while looking around at the changes to the ranch she could see from where she was standing. "I swear, it's like a whole new place."

"Yeah, well I've had a lot of help," I told her.

"That's right! Em and Rose were telling us about your new hunky man," she said with a wink. "You guys planning a wedding yet? I'm sure ready for some grandbabies, and Rose and Em are just taking their dear sweet time."

I laughed. "Um... not quite yet. Hey, where are Carlisle and Alice?" I asked, just noticing that she was alone.

"Oh, you know Carlisle," she said with underlying frustration. "Last minute emergencies constantly popping up at the hospital that no one else could possibly handle. I swear that man is going to die prematurely from all the stress he forces himself into… That's if I don't kill him myself first."

"I thought he was finally starting to take some time off?"

"That was the plan. He just can't stay still. Oh well, I certainly wasn't going to put off this visit to wait for him. It's been far too long already," she said before hugging me again.

"Well, where's Alice?" I asked.

"She saw the horses and wouldn't wait until we pulled up before wanting to run out to them. If I didn't pull the car over in the middle of the driveway, she would have jumped out with it still moving. From what I could see, they are absolutely beautiful."

"Oh, they really are," I agreed. "Well, come inside, I want you to meet Edward."

"I can't wait. The way Em talks about him, he must be a pretty great guy."

"He is."

Edward stood when we walked through the door, and even though he still looked nervous, he was able to relax enough to introduce himself. "Mrs. Cullen, I'm Edward Masen. It's nice to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," she told him. "Wow, Rose was right, you are very handsome."

"Um… thanks," Edward replied, clearly unsure how else to respond. "Is there anything I can get you to eat or drink? I'm sure you're hungry after such a long drive."

"That's very sweet, honey, but I'm okay for now. Allie and I stopped just a little while ago. I'm actually glad Carlisle wasn't with us for that. He'd spend the rest of the trip lecturing us about how unhealthy it is."

"That's true," I agreed.

"Your husband isn't with you?" Edward asked surprised. He must have figured Carlisle and Alice were just out on the property somewhere.

"No, he couldn't make this trip," she told him before turning back to me. "You know, I actually didn't fight with him on it either, I figured he may just be a little hard on your sweetheart here, with all his accusatory questions."

"Oh, that's okay, Edward is pretty used to it by now. Right babe?" I asked him, before giving him a quick kiss in the lips.

"Oh gosh." Esme dropped her head to her hand ashamedly, and then looked at Edward. "I do need to apologize to you about Emmett's behavior."

"And mine," I interjected. "I gave him a hard time when he first came here too."

She shook her head. "My kids haven't had the most conventional upbringing," she tried explaining. "I'm afraid my husband is going to be even worse whenever he finally gets out here to meet you."

"It's okay, I understand," Edward said quietly.

"Well, should we show you all the projects we did since you were here last?" I asked, eager for her approval, despite knowing she would be supportive regardless of the condition of the property. Esme was just that type of person. I had never known anyone more loving than her. Not even the traumatic kidnapping of her daughter was enough to darken her heart, and I was grateful. She was the closest thing to a mother I had ever known, and I wouldn't be the person I was without her.

"Yes, that would be wonderful," she replied enthusiastically.

"Um… I think I'll just let you show her, if you don't mind," Edward said unexpectedly. "I need to do a few more things today while it's still light."

"Oh, a looker and a hard worker," Esme said with a nod. "I like that."

"Yeah, he has trouble slowing down sometimes," I told her, but continued to stare after Edward as he grabbed his sweatshirt and walked out the door.

"Don't worry about it, honey," Esme tried reassuring me. "Carlisle's unyielding work ethic drives me nuts sometimes, but it is one of the things I really admire in him. You'll get there with Edward as well."

"I've grown accustomed to it already, I just don't understand it in this case. We talked about us showing you all our projects together. I don't know why he changed the plan."

"Men can be fickle. Maybe I just made him uncomfortable. Don't worry about it. I'm sure we can get to know each other better this evening."

"I hope so," I told her.

I led Esme back outside, and began pointing out various improvements we had done, and then we made our way to the pasture. Sure enough, Alice was right out there, in the middle of the field, stroking and hugging on all the horses. Esme and I both just stood there at the fence, and quietly watched her for a bit, not wanting to disrupt her peace.

Alice had a restless soul, like a steady rain that never really let up, but when she was with the animals, she could give them her troubles and just be calm. They were her rainbow; it was a wonderful sight to see.

"Em said she's been doing okay lately?" I asked Esme after a few minutes.

"We got her to call him on the phone. Of course, all she'd say was 'Merry Christmas'."

"Merry Christmas?" I questioned. "We haven't even had Halloween yet."

Esme giggled. "Hey, she spoke. We'll take it."

I smiled. "I guess so. But I thought she was starting to talk more lately? I mean, I know she talked at one time anyway. I certainly remember her talking to me when I was a kid."

"We never know what causes her to regress. I'm hoping after spending some time here, she will slowly move forward again. Bella, thank you so much for doing all of this, and letting her come stay with you. I really think it will help her."

"I hope so, and she can stay as long as she would like," I told her.

"Well, I think starting with two weeks is best, and then we can discuss however she's doing at that point."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"But really, honey, if you have any issues with her at all, just call me and I'll come back to get her."

"I don't foresee anything going wrong," I assured her.

"Oh, I hope not. You know, I'd never admit this to Carlisle, but sometimes I worry this may be the only hope she has left." Esme wiped a tear from her cheek, and then shrugged. "Being with animals is the only time she's happy. I don't know, I think living in the city isn't good for her. Too many people. Not enough space. We're always so busy, I fear she's not getting enough of our attention as well. I've tried cutting back from the board, but it still never seems to be enough. And Carlisle, sometimes I feel like he works so much just to stay busy so he doesn't have to deal with her. He still can't …" She let her words trail off, lost in her own grief that would never fully heal.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, and squeezed her tenderly. "It's okay," I tried comforting her.

"Oh Bella, no matter how much time that passes, I still just cant…" She shook her head. "She's been home for almost twenty years. Why are we still having a hard time connecting with her? She was such a happy child before…."

"It's okay," I said again.

It wasn't the first time Esme had broken down over Alice in front of me, and I knew it wasn't close to being the last either. I couldn't imagine her pain; I suppose only a mother could. She always strived to be happy and positive, but it definitely took it's toll on her at times, and I was sure the idea of leaving Alice with me for an extended period was causing one of those such times.

"Esme, I promise you, I won't let anything happen to her," I told her, with as much conviction as I was capable of.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know you won't. I'm not worried about her safety here, I just… I used to pray she'd heal and go on to live a normal life. Find love. Have a family of her own. But now… now all I pray is for her to find some level of peace. I can't even imagine a world where Alice is actually truly happy."

I smiled at her. "I can. We will get there eventually. It's never too late."

She nodded while being devoured with more tears, before hugging me again. "You truly are a gift to me," she told me.

"Well, I love you too," I replied.

We watched Alice a little while longer, and when she finally looked away from the horses to see me there, it warmed my heart that she smiled at me and offered the smallest wave. Of course, I responded by opening the gate and joining her with the horses so I could greet her properly.

"Hey, how are you?" I said, overjoyed when she hugged me. Alice wasn't a big hugger, though she wasn't totally against it either. The unspoken rule in our family was to always let her initiate any kind of physical contact. If she wanted a hug, we'd get one, if she didn't, we certainly weren't going to force her. I was so happy she currently seemed in good spirits.

When she pulled out of our embrace, she gestured to the horses and looked at me full of questions. Questions I already knew she'd want answered.

"I see you've already met our babies," I told her. She looked at me with her big innocent blue eyes full of confusion, and shook her head. "Okay, they're not babies," I conceded with a laugh. Alice was always so literal; sometimes I'd forget, and other times I'd use it as a way to tease her, which she'd usually end up giggling at.

"I haven't named them yet. I was hoping you could help me with that," I told her, which brought a big smile to her face. "They are three boys, and one girl, so you need to think of something great for them. Ok?"

She nodded, and her youthful excitement brought me right back to my childhood with her. I never really saw the pain I knew her parents did, and I had to wonder if I just wasn't looking hard enough, or if she tried to shield me from it because I was so young when I met her. Either way, Alice was just Alice to me, and I loved her endlessly for it.

"Do you want to ride one?" I asked her.

She seemed like she was going to agree, but then something caught her attention behind me. Or maybe it was less of a 'something', and more like a someone.

"Oh, sweetheart, remember I told you about Bella's friend that is staying here?" Esme said to Alice slowly.

I watched Edward across the property, and he looked to be messing with the drip system for the plants there. He glanced up at me, so I waved him over, hoping to get his initial meeting with Alice done quickly so she could begin to relax a bit.

Edward reluctantly stood and then approached us slowly, which made Alice cower into the mare's mane.

"Alice, this is Edward," I told her after he finally reached us. "He's not going to hurt you."

"Uh… hello," Edward said awkwardly. "Um… Bella has told me a lot about you."

I had instructed him ahead of time to not try to touch her at all, so Edward stayed slightly behind me and made sure to give her plenty of space, but they were both still clearly uncomfortable.

"Edward, here, helped Bella fix up the ranch and get everything ready for the horses," Esme explained to her.

Alice didn't respond other than burying her face into the horses neck.

"I don't want to freak her out," Edward whispered to me.

"She's ok," Esme told him. "It'll just take her a little time to warm up to you. I've definitely seen worse reactions from her meeting new people."

"Uh... ok," Edward said before turning back to me. "I'm almost done over there, and then I'll head inside to start dinner."

"Ok, thank you," I said before kissing him quickly.

He gave Alice a parting glance, nodded politely towards Esme, and then he walked back the way he came.

"Oh, handsome, hardworking, and he cooks? Wow, Bella, I think you found yourself a keeper," Esme told me when he was safely out of hearing range.

"Yes, I really have. He's perfect," I said sincerely.

I glanced at Alice, and although she was still clinging to the horse for dear life, she was definitely peeking out through its mane and watching Edward as he got smaller in the distance. Regardless of her fears, she was still curious by nature, and I knew she would have questions about the new man in my life.

Alice kissed each of the horses, and then accompanied her mom and me for the rest of our walk around the property. At times she would get distracted by something that would catch her eye, but mostly she just listened to whatever I was telling them about the repairs and such.

"Well, you two certainly have been busy," Esme said as we approached the house.

"Yeah, but it's been a lot of fun. We've really enjoyed doing all the work ourselves."

"Oh, just listen to you: 'we' and 'our'. You've really fallen hard for this one, huh?"

"Yeah… I'm all in with him. I know it's quick, but… I don't have a doubt he's the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I never even knew I could be this happy."

"I'm so happy for you. This place, your new love… You're simply glowing, Bella. I wish your parents were still here to see you this happy."

"Me too…. But, at the same time, I think they can see me. Falling in love with Edward has been so easy that sometimes I feel like maybe my dad sent him to me somehow."

"Well, he always did joke that he was going to have to find you a husband since you didn't have the best taste in boyfriends."

I scoffed. "I only ever had one boyfriend."

"Exactly," she replied with a wink.

"No, my dad liked Mike… Didn't he?" I questioned.

Esme shrugged. "All I know is what I heard him say. Perhaps he just … knew you didn't really love him, and worried you would end up marrying him and it would be a terrible mistake."

"That's possible. It certainly would have been a terrible mistake. My dad knew me better than I knew myself it seems."

"At least you figured it out before you married him."

"Amen to that!" I agreed.

We finally made our way back into the house, and we were hit with the amazing aroma of Edward's delicious chicken pasta.

"Well, doesn't it smell heavenly in here," Esme said to Edward as we walked into the kitchen.

Edward glanced back at us, but then quickly refocused on the stove. "Thank you. Should be done in a bit," he told us over his shoulder.

Alice started playing with some of my knickknacks on the hutch, so Esme and I sat at the kitchen table to chit chat for a bit while Edward finished cooking. Esme started telling Edward funny stories about Em and me as kids, but before long, I noticed Alice had disappeared. "Where did she go?" I asked Esme.

I peeked out towards the pasture and saw all four horses in clear sight, but Alice hadn't gone back out there to be with them.

"I'm sure she's not far," Esme said, trying to conceal her concern. "Allie, where are you?" she called out as we started looking around the house.

For whatever reason, I shot Edward a worried look, as if I weirdly thought he could somehow find her. Why I thought that? I had no idea. But he understood, and turned off the stove before heading outside to search for her.

"I'll look upstairs," I told Esme.

She didn't respond, she just sat down and kept her hand over her lips as if she was locked in a terrible déjà vu of the first time she went missing.

Although I was quite a paranoid person myself, I wasn't all that worried about Alice currently, at least not as much as I was worried about Esme. Alice was somewhere. She surely didn't wander off the property, but Esme looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. How was she ever going to handle leaving her with me?

I looked in every room upstairs, then looked in every room downstairs as well. Confident that she wasn't in the house, I headed for the front door when I was absolutely flabbergasted to see Edward walking back inside with Alice right behind him.

"She's right here," he said when he noticed me standing there gawking at them. Alice didn't stop, and of course she didn't say anything, she just walked right passed us and sat on the living room couch.

"Wha… How… Where did you find her?" I asked, having a hard time forming a cohesive sentence.

"Wasn't hard. She was just sitting out there on the porch swing. I walked right passed her and looked around before turning back and finally seeing her."

"Ok… But how did you get her to come back inside? She doesn't usually warm up to strangers that quickly."

Edward shrugged. "Its not like I had a personal conversation with her. I just told her you guys were looking for her and she needed to come back inside."

"Allie?" Esme asked as she came into the room. "Oh, thank god!" she said, and then practically ran to her daughter, and broke our family rule by trying to embrace her - A rule even she was supposed to abide by, as evident by the way Alice completely refused her and actually started screaming when she didn't let go fast enough.

"Uh… is that… normal?" Edward asked me wide-eyed after witnessing their intense interaction.

"Alice gets upset sometimes, and doesn't want to be touched," I explained quietly.

"Yeah, you told me that before, but she doesn't even want her own mother hugging her?" he asked surprised.

"She must be upset at something," I concluded.

"Maybe I did freak her out a bit," he said apologetically as we continued to watch Alice's meltdown, and Esme's futile attempt to calm her.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," I told him. "I'm going to try to talk to her."

I walked over to her and dropped to my knees to be closer to the level she was currently at, and then I started speaking to her. First, I just kept repeating her name, and when she wouldn't pause her screams, I began telling her a favorite childhood memory of mine about the time she had made me feel better when I was scared of a thunder storm.

Her screams quieted as she began to listen to my story, and finally the only sound in the room was my voice, and Esme's gentle weeping.

After a few more minutes, Edward retreated back to the kitchen, and Esme rubbed my shoulders tenderly as I continued to talk to a much calmer Alice. We talked - or rather, I talked as she smiled and snorted occasionally - until dinner was ready. Then the four of us sat at the table together, and ate in a heavy silence. When we were finished, Esme complimented Edward on the food, and thanked us, before convincing Alice it was time to turn in for the night.

"You're really good with her," Edward said when we went to bed as well. "How did you know what to do when her own mother couldn't calm her down?"

I shrugged. "I do have some professional training in coping with people with special needs," I pointed out.

"I don't think that's something that can really be taught. You're just … good. Everything about you is truly remarkable."

"You only think that because you love me," I teased him.

"No, but it is one of the million reasons why I love you."

 _How was I even supposed to respond to so much sweetness?_ The truth was that I couldn't. There were no words to properly describe my love for him, so I settled for showing him the best way I was capable of. It was one of those beautiful nights when we couldn't get enough of each other. Sleeping in each other's arms when we had no strength left to hold onto, only to wake a few hours later to make love again, and repeat the whole process over and over throughout the night. It was incredible - the kind of night I knew I'd always crave if we were ever separated, even if that separation was brief, I'd still miss his touch.

The next morning Edward kissed my temple and got dressed, before heading out for the day. I wasn't surprised; the man didn't know how to sleep in. As for me, I was exhausted from the beautifully exhausting nighttime escapades, so I stayed in bed.

A short time later, however, I knew I couldn't stall my morning routine any longer, especially considering we had guests.

"Good morning," I said to Esme, who was already sitting at the table, enjoying a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "Thanks for making this," I said while pouring myself a cup, and then quickly pulling out a couple pans to start breakfast.

"Actually, Edward made the coffee before he went out to work," Esme informed me. "And he already made Allie and me some eggs and bacon as well."

"Really?" I asked surprised before looking over at the clock. "Oh my goodness, is that really the time?" I asked in a panic when I saw it was passed eight o'clock. "I am so sorry. I don't know why I slept so late."

"Oh, don't worry about it, hun," Esme said supportively. "Everyone deserves a break every once in a while, and I know how stressed you've been preparing for all this. I'm sure you're exhausted."

"It's no excuse. I can't believe I did that," I said ashamedly.

"It's okay," Esme insisted while getting up to kiss me on the cheek. "But I do need to get on the road soon if I'll have any hope of beating all that horrid traffic."

"Yes, of course," I told her, well aware of the traffic issues. "I'm so glad you were able to come."

"Bella… about last night," she said hesitantly.

"Esme, I know that was bad, but please don't take Alice's breakdown as an indication of anything. She wasn't really missing, she was just right outside. This is a safe place for her, and…"

She caressed my face as a sweet way to shut me up. "I know this is a safe place, and the way you handled the situation proved to me that Allie is in the right hands… And the horrible way I handled it pretty much tells me this separation from her is needed. I need to figure out a way to… let her go, just a little. I overreacted big time, and I truly believe that's why she had that meltdown. I told Edward that at breakfast this morning as well. I didn't want him to think it was his presence here that caused it."

I smiled at her. "Thank you. I know he's been concerned about that."

"Bella, I can see what Em and Rose were talking about. Edward is a really great guy…"

"But?" I said confused, since her comment definitely sounded like it was leading towards a 'but'.

She looked to be considering something, but then she must have decided against voicing it, and forced out a smile instead. "There is no but, sweetheart. I think you two are very good together. And Allie is already taken with him."

"She is?" I asked surprised.

"She kept smiling at him all throughout breakfast. You better watch out, I think she may have a crush."

"Uh oh," I said playfully, but then I really thought about it. "Has she ever acted that way towards a stranger before?"

"Not that I can recall. That boy certainly has a way with people."

I nodded absently. "That, he does."

Once again, a strange look crossed Esme's features, and I wanted to question her on it, but for some reason it scared me, so I let it go.

We said our goodbyes, and then I walked her outside to where Alice was reading quietly to herself on the porch swing. Esme asked her daughter for a hug, which she agreed, and then Esme waved at Edward before driving off.

"So, what are you reading?" I asked Alice curiously.

She smiled and then pointed at her book cover.

"Ah, ' _Paddington Bear'_. My favorite," I said with a smile, thinking about all the sweet times we had looked through that book together when I was young.

"So, do you want to help me with some chores today?" I asked her. She smiled again and nodded, so we headed out to the horse stalls to give them their morning grooming.

From the moment her mom's car was completely out of sight, there was a change in Alice that I never could have expected in my wildest dreams. She was almost giddy as she bounced and danced around the property. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn she was actually humming to herself gleefully. She really did love being at the ranch and out with the horses.

Over the next week, Alice came alive in ways I had never seen from her before. It was surreal, and yet, it truly felt like it was the way she was always meant to be. She even took to Edward's presence there rather well. She didn't interact with him much, and I didn't notice the so-called crush Esme claimed she had, but occasionally I would catch her watching him carefully with her wide curious eyes.

Regardless of Emmett's desire and sense of duty to take care of her one day, seeing her like that made it clear to me that she would always belong out there with me. It was something I was dreading bringing up to all of the Cullens, because I didn't want Emmett to feel like I was trying to take away his rights as her only real sibling, but it was important just the same. Of course, it was something I needed to discuss with Edward as well.

"So, I was thinking, would you mind if Alice stayed longer here with us?" I asked him one morning before we got out of bed.

"Babe, like I told you yesterday, I think she seems to be doing really great out here. If you want her to stay, then talk to the Cullens."

"Yes, but I'm talking to you first, because this is your place too, and I don't want to do anything big without discussing it with you."

He laughed. "Okay, but I thought we talked about it yesterday."

"No, I mentioned it, but now I'm thinking we need to make it official."

"Don't you think we should get married before we adopt a child," Edward joked. "I mean, first you throw caution to the wind and put me on all your bank accounts, and now you are asking me to raise your sister with you." He shook his head. "You are a con artist's dream come true. I even know all your passwords to everything."

I giggled. "Are you trying to con me?"

"For your sake, I hope not."

"I know, my dad would probably have a heart attack if he were alive to know about all that."

"You were taught better," he agreed playfully.

"Okay, we both know why I had to put your name on all my accounts."

"Um, yeah, because you suck at doing bills."

"And, more importantly, I wanted you to have access to everything so you can help me collect payments and do the billing when we finally open."

"And more importantly," he added. "Since I'm not getting paid for being here, I can just take whatever I want from your account at anytime."

"Oh my god, stop with that!" I said, lovingly annoyed. It had really only been just over one month of him not getting an actual paycheck, and since then we pretty much had a joint account anyway, so it wasn't like he didn't have access to funds. Of course, that didn't stop him from jokingly complaining about it, so I decided it was time to give it right back to him. "If you want me to start paying you again, I will as soon as I can. I'll even make up the difference and back pay you every dime."

"Except you already said you would need that money to hire a stable hand," he pointed out like a smartass.

"Hopefully we will be able to afford both," I told him, continuing my serious tone. "Hell, I'd like a little extra money in my account too. My goal is that by the end of next month, I will have hired a stable hand, and you will also have a paycheck in your hand to make up for your lost wages since you've been such a loyal employee during this hard time."

"Yeah… but I don't have my own bank account anymore," he said with a sly smile. "So, I'll just have to deposit it right back into your account. Seems like a waste of time."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I'll tell you what, since you're doing the bills, you can do whatever you like with your salary, including depositing it into _our_ account."

"Can I give myself a raise?"

"You do quite frequently," I said suggestively.

"No, that's been _you_ giving me all those raises," he said seductively, before leaning in to kiss me nice and slowly.

Right when we were about to take it to the next level, there was a loud crashing noise that came from downstairs.

"What was that?" I asked startled.

"Sounded like a window breaking," Edward concluded, so we both hurried to get dressed.

I went straight to Alice's room to check on her, but she wasn't there, so I quickly checked the bathroom and when I still didn't see her, I caught up to Edward in the kitchen.

"Wow," I said dumbstruck as Edward and I just stood there and stared at the rather large tree branch sticking through the window. It had been raining off and on for a few days, but I certainly didn't think it was windy enough to cause something like that.

"Uh, Alice just came through here. I think she went to the downstairs bathroom," Edward informed me as we both continued to stare at the huge chaotic mess the kitchen was in.

"We don't have the money to fix this, do we?" I asked, feeling like I was being engulfed by a suffocating haze. "Oh no, do you think the horses are okay?"

Edward looked through the window the best he could with the branch there, and then nodded his head. "Yeah. I don't think it was even a big storm. This tree was probably rotting and went down easily. I should have thought to cut it down sooner."

"I'm going to go check on the horses anyway," I said while grabbing my boots and coat.

To my relief, the horses were safe in the barn, and didn't seem to be agitated whatsoever, so I gave them each a little pat, and then decided to just get started on their morning routine right away.

When I was finished, I went back to the house to see if I could help with the window. Edward already had the branch out, and he was banging a big board into place to cover the hole the broken window left.

"I'll have to run into town to get a new window. Do you know if that little home improvement store will have them in stock, or will it need to be ordered?" he asked me.

"I can make a phone call to find out," I replied. "But we don't have the money right now."

He laughed once. "Well we can't have a boarded up window when patients start arriving. How would that look? Don't worry about the cost, I'll handle that. Just go call to see if there's any in stock."

I wasn't quite sure what he meant when he said he'd handle the cost, but I went for the phone anyway. I had just picked up the receiver, when suddenly I heard Edward hiss, so I turned back to him and saw that he had sliced his hand on a shard of glass.

"Here, let me help you," I said while reaching for a towel to wrap it, but that was when Edward's entire demeanor changed.

"No, I got it," he said, and then tried to move away from me.

"Edward, just let me wrap it for you. I'm sure you can't do it one handed."

"Don't touch it!" he said sharply, with an unexpected level of darkness that I had never heard or seen from him before.

I was so shocked by his tone, and the look of pure anger beaming from his eyes, that I had no idea how to respond, so I just stood there and stared at him dumbfounded for a brief moment. Alice, on the other hand, reacted in the exact opposite way, and immediately started screaming.

I wanted to question Edward on what the hell just happened, but Alice's hysterics drew my attention, and Edward used that distraction as an opportunity to strangely retreat outside. I didn't understand his issue, but I couldn't focus on it at the moment either since I needed to attend to Alice first.

After ten minutes of her crying, she quieted down and settled in on rocking back and forth on the living room floor, while humming to herself quietly. I knew that reaction of hers well - it was her coping mechanism as a way to calm herself down. She needed a few minutes to be left alone, so I gave her that and headed out to make sure Edward was okay.

I was able to see his cut a little before he ripped it out of my view, and it didn't appear to be very severe, but the moment I got outside I was stunned by the amount of blood that was on the ground. In fact, there was a trail of blood drops that lead straight to the apartment, so I followed it up.

The door was left cracked open, so I slowly pushed it open and went inside. The studio room was quite barren, which struck me as odd since Edward had yet to move any of his stuff into the house with me. I hadn't actually been in there since right before he first came to the ranch, so I suppose that was the way he had lived. He had been a nomad of sorts, so it made sense that he didn't have much stuff, but it was still a little shocking.

Edward's trail of blood continued to the bathroom, and that was where I found him. The way I found him, however, would probably haunt me for the rest of my life…

"What are you doing?" I nearly shrieked.

He looked up at me with a glossy daze in his eyes, and his face was the palest I had ever seen on a healthy human being before. It took me a brief moment to realize what I was witnessing, and even then I was still confounded.

He had been literally squeezing the blood out of his wound. He was even aggressively massaging it from his upper arm as he seemed to be trying to get as much blood out as quickly as possible. It looked as though he had been trying to contain the blood to the sink, however it was absolutely everywhere. It honestly looked like a horror film.

"Shit," he mumbled under his breath when he was able to focus on the fact that I had caught him.

"Edward?" I murmured, at a complete loss.

"It's fine," he said while finally grabbing a towel and wrapping his hand. "Is Alice Okay?" he then asked casually.

 _Did he even notice the large amount of blood splattered all over the room?_

"Edward… What is going on?" I asked him, completely bewildered.

He looked around the room and his eyes grew slightly larger, as if he just realized how much blood there was, but he quickly tried to play it off. "It must have squirted a little. No big deal. I'll get this cleaned up right away."

I shook my head. "What were you doing?"

"Nothing. I was just cleaning it out. No big deal."

"No big deal?" I said incredulously. "It looks like a crime scene in here."

"Hands always bleed a lot," he said dismissively.

"I saw the cut after it first happened. It didn't look bad," I said, still baffled as to what the hell I just saw him doing. - What did I even see him doing?

"There was glass stuck inside, so I had to dig it out," he said, clearly making it up on the spot.

I shook my head again. "I saw you squeezing the blood out."

"You're mistaken," he said curtly. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. You tell me?"

The dark look he showed me in the house suddenly creeped back into his eyes, and the tone he used next matched. "It's nothing. Drop it."

"Edward, I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you. Are you… Do you have hemophilia, or something?" I asked, clueless as to what else it could be.

He stared me down coldly as he lifted his hurt hand, and removed the towel so I could see the wound. It had completely stopped bleeding, and as I had seen earlier, it was a rather small cut, but…

"You're all bruised," I said, suddenly feeling sick from actually seeing the black and blue outlines of his opposite hand running up and down the length of his arm.

He turned his head to see what I was talking about, but it only seemed to agitate him more. "I said I was fine! Why can't you just leave it at that?"

"Because you're clearly not fine!" I argued as I followed him out of the bathroom.

He paused when he noticed the trail of blood he had left through the apartment, but then he quickly continued outside.

"Edward, please stop and talk to me," I begged, but he refused.

I followed him through the house, and into the kitchen where he got some cleaner out from under the sink. Then, without another word, he stormed passed me and back up to the apartment to begin scrubbing the blood.

"Can I at least help you with this?" I asked, but didn't wait for him to respond before I grabbed a paper towel and began wiping some from the floor.

Before I had a chance to even clean a single tile, he shockingly ripped the cloth out of my hands and threw it across the room. "I said don't touch it!" he yelled at me.

I was completely dumbfounded, and once again, I just sat there and stared at him. After a minute or so of him vigorously cleaning the floor alone, he must have realized what he just did, and he came back over to me remorsefully.

"Bella… I'm sorry," he said softly. "I just… I just don't like the sight of blood. It… freaks me out."

"You had no trouble cleaning up my blood when I got a splinter last week," I contradicted mechanically.

He huffed. "There are a lot of people who can't stand the sight of their own blood. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way."

I laughed once humorlessly. "Rose is scared of her own blood."

"See? Its stupid… and embarrassing."

"Except Rose just gets nauseous when she sees it," I continued quietly.

"I know. I wish that's all mine was. I'm really sorry I snapped at you. That was inexcusable."

I nodded. "Edward, that's not what this is. People with an aversion to blood don't insist on cleaning it themselves, and get that angry when someone tries to help."

"I said I was sorry," he said, seemingly sincere.

It wasn't something that I really felt I needed to forgive, but at the same time, I was more than a little bothered by it.

"Do you… have some kind of disease you don't want me to contract?" I questioned, due to the way he didn't want me anywhere near his blood. "I kind of need to know something like that. Any disease I can get from your blood, I could also get from sex, and we haven't always used a condom."

Now that I was thinking about it, Edward did usually insist on condoms, regardless of the fact that I was on birth control. Only when we were occasionally swept away by our passion did he ever neglect to wear one, and on those occasions he did usually convince me to shower afterwards. _How did I never realize how weird that was before now?_

"No. I don't have any diseases," Edward said strongly.

"Then why…"

"There's nothing I'm going to tell you that will satisfy your questions!" he said heatedly.

"Look..." I took a deep breath. "I just want you to let me in," I said to him gently, abruptly realizing that there was so much more about him that he was keeping hidden from me than I ever realized. "I love you, and that really freaked me out. You lost… a lot of blood." I shook my head at the very vivid image of him forcefully squeezing the blood out of his arm, which was now frozen into the darkness of my eyes.

He stared at me impassively, and I knew he wasn't going to answer me. I told him I'd love him unconditionally, and I certainly meant it, but this was going to continue to bother me. Why couldn't he just tell me the truth?

I raised my shoulders, and let them drop again, having no idea what else to say at that point. The conversation wasn't over, but his unwillingness to divulge anything made it impossible to continue as well. "I'm going to go check on Alice," I told him quietly.

Like the saying – _'when it rains, it pours',_ the stress of that rough day didn't end there. The moment I got back into the house I was relieved to see Alice calmly reading to herself, but then the phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Isabella Swan, please," the voice on the other end of the line said.

"Speaking," I told him.

"Miss Swan, this is Colonel Samuel Uley with the United States Marine Corps. You are listed as the next of kin for Lieutenant Jasper Whitlock. Is that correct?"

My stomach dropped. "Y-Yes," I stumbled over the word.

"I regret to inform you that there was an attack on his unit…"

Suddenly a loud buzzing sound started ringing in my ears as I tried to hear everything the Colonel was saying, but it was impossible. The only thing I really understood, was the fact that Jasper was in an explosion….


	9. Shocking

**Chapter 9 – Shocking**

I couldn't move. I wasn't even sure if I was still breathing. The colonel had said Jasper was alive, but he wouldn't comment further than that on the condition he was in. Him being alive didn't mean he was going to be okay, and without any further information I was absolutely terrified.

I had no idea how long I sat there in a daze for, but I could vaguely sense that Alice had come to sit besides me, and eventually Edward walked back inside.

"Bella?" he said softly. He kneeled down in front of me and placed his hands gently on my legs, and looked at me full of concern. "I don't know… how to apologize to you enough. I wish I could explain to you what that was about, but… I think maybe I'm just… a little fucked up in the head, or something. I'm sure there's several contributors to that, and I want you to know that if I could talk to you about it, I would. But… I promise you - I'll swear it on everything holy - there's nothing about … whatever my issues are, that can hurt you physically. I don't have any diseases. I can't make you sick, and I need you to be sure in your own mind, that I'd never lay an… aggressive hand on you, in any way."

I reached up to stroke his face tenderly. "I was never afraid of you," I assured him. But then I had to laugh once. "At least not since you first arrived here… I'm just.. afraid for you. I've never seen someone react that way to blood."

"I know. And I want to explain it to you… I just… I truly and honestly don't know how."

I stared at him for a moment, and searched within his endlessly deep green eyes, and knew without a doubt that he was being honest with me.

"Well, I'll be here for you when you finally feel like you can talk about it," I told him supportively.

He looked at me full of love, but it was mixed with fear and doubt as well, and it just about broke my heart. For someone who was raised with trust issues, I truly did trust him, even after his perplexing bloody meltdown, however it was clear that he still didn't trust me. He didn't feel confident that I would continue to love him no matter what. If I did nothing else in my personal life, I prayed that someday I could figure out a way to prove my unconditional love to him. I knew without a doubt in my heart that once he found enough faith and security in me, he'd allow himself to confide everything.

After a few more moments, Alice abruptly got up and started rummaging through the pantry.

"I need to make her some breakfast," I said, no louder than a whisper.

Edward looked over at her as well, and then we both watched as she pulled something out and held it up to us.

"I think she's got her own breakfast this morning," Edward said with a slight hint of humor in his voice.

"Are those Pop Tarts?" I asked surprised as Alice opened the package and started devouring them as if she was starving and they were the best thing on the planet. "I can't remember her ever eating those before. I don't even know where they came from."

"I picked them up at the store the other day," Edward told me.

"Why?" I asked, clueless as to why anyone would want to eat those disgusting cardboards dipped in sugar.

Edward laughed once. "Are you kidding? Those should be one of the main food groups."

"Um, I'm pretty sure society as a whole would die from diabetes and obesity if those were a main food group," I contradicted.

"They're made of fruit," Edward argued.

"That is not real fruit," I informed him, slightly amused that he was actually serious with his assumption.

"Man, I lived on those things until I was five," he mused.

"And then what? Your mother figured out they were probably killing you?" I asked incredulously.

"Nah, when I went to the foster home they wouldn't allow them," he said, seemingly lost in thought. So lost, in fact, that he must not have even realized what he just told me.

"You were in a foster home?" I questioned. That was definitely not something he had ever mentioned before about his childhood.

"Uh… What?" he asked confused.

"You told me before that your dad left when you were young, and your mom remarried a jerk. You never said you were in a foster home."

Edward thought about it for a moment, but then I put my hand up to stop him. "Listen, if you're trying to come up with some kind of story or tall tale, just don't. I'd rather you not tell me anything at all than another lie," I said while standing back up. I didn't wait for a response from him, and he didn't offer one either. It was just one more thing I knew I'd have to wait to discover whenever he felt comfortable enough to let me in.

I began picking up stray pieces of glass still left on the kitchen floor, but then I started thinking about Jasper again and I was overcome with more grief and worry.

"Bella… listen, if I need to keep apologizing for the way I treated you, I will. I'll beg for your forgiveness every day for the rest of my life if that's what it will take."

I looked back at him and realized he must had misinterpreted my worry for Jasper as me still being upset about his outburst. I was still upset, but the news about Jazz was far surpassing it at that moment.

"No, I just got a phone call before you came back in here," I clarified. "My cousin Jasper was hurt in action overseas."

"Is it serious?" Edward asked concerned. He was well aware of how important Jasper was to me, because I had talked about him several times before, so I appreciated his support.

"I don't know," I said, with my voice breaking. "All they would tell me was that he was injured, and he's being moved to Mercy Hospital in the city here, so he could be closer to home. I guess if he could request that, he must be somewhat ok, right?"

Edward nodded. "When will he be there?"

"They said this afternoon."

"That's fast," he said surprised.

I shook my head. "His injury actually happened a few weeks ago. There was a mix up with the notification procedure… Which is absolutely ridiculous, but I guess they assume that since he's not actually dead, it's not as important," I said bitterly.

"So, he's going to arrive at the hospital in a few hours? You should head out to go meet him," Edward suggested.

"I can't leave Alice here, and I can't bring her. She wouldn't handle that too well. And now with the window breaking, there's so much left to do before people start coming…"

"Bella, calm down. I'll take care of the window. You need to be with your cousin when he arrives. You guys are the only family each other has left, right?"

"Biologically. Well, I suppose his dad is still alive somewhere, but he hasn't seen him since he was a teenager. His mom was my dad's sister, and when she died unexpectedly during my senior year of high school, Jasper stayed with us for a bit. We've been really close ever since."

"So you need to go to him," Edward insisted. "I'll handle everything around here. It's at least a three hour drive, so you need to get on the road soon if you're going to get there before he does."

"But Alice…"

"She will be fine," he said assuredly.

"Edward, she's never stayed with a stranger before," I told him.

"Well, good thing I'm not a stranger then," he said with a smirk.

"You still are to her," I said, and couldn't help but smile at his cuteness.

"We can both go with you, and she and I can hang out in the hospital cafeteria while you're seeing Jasper," he offered.

"Alice doesn't do well in hospitals… basically since she was taken from Carlisle's when she was little."

"Oh, okay, let's not do that then. Bella, I think she will be fine here with me. She can hang out with the horses while I do some chores. I'll make her meals…"

"If something sets her off, and she has a meltdown…"

"Then she has a meltdown," he said unfazed. "She's not an infant. She can freak out, and eventually she will calm down. Seriously Bella, she's like… thirty something years old."

"She's thirty six," I confirmed.

"Really?" he said surprised. "Wow, she does not look a day over sixteen."

"I know, it's hard to imagine she has over a dozen years on us, huh?" I said lightly. "I look like I could probably be her older sister."

"Yeah, well, you're not, which is just another reason why I know she will be fine. If you and the Cullens started treating her more like the adult she is, maybe she'd start acting like one a little more."

"Hard to treat her like an adult when she still reads children's books and has complete meltdowns," I said quietly before looking back at her. Alice was, once again, reading 'Paddington Bear' quietly to herself at the kitchen table, while finishing her Pop Tarts.

"Well, you guys all allow it," Edward argued. Without warning, Edward walked into the living room, and came back with a book from my shelf. "The Island of Blue Dolphins," he said to me. "Not quite adult reading, but better than that baby crap she has," he told me.

I shook my head. "That was my favorite book when I was twelve… But it's useless. She won't read it without pictures."

"You said she can read?" he questioned.

"She can, but she only likes the picture books, " I clarified.

He shook his head and then walked over to where she was sitting. "Hey Alice, can I read that book?" he asked her.

She looked at him a little surprised since he hadn't spoken to her directly much since the first day she arrived, but rather than freak out like I was expecting, she simply handed him her book.

"Thanks," he said to her. "I just love this little fuzzy teddy bear book. I'm excited to read it again. Here, why don't you try reading mine," he then said while handing her my island book.

She looked at me questionably, but shocked the hell out of me when she looked back at Edward and smiled, before taking the book from him.

"It's a good one," he told her encouragingly. "There's like a dog or something, and a girl that gets stranded on an island. Exciting reading."

She nodded again, and then opened the book and actually started reading it.

"See? She's cool," Edward told me confidently. "She will probably spend the next few hours reading that."

I didn't know what to say about that. It was absolutely shocking. It seemed everything about that day was one shocking event after the other.

"Edward… I just don't think I can leave her with you," I said regretfully.

"You're worried about my little psychotic meltdown," he said with a nod. It wasn't a question, it was clearly a major issue.

"I'm sorry. It's hard enough worrying about her having a tantrum. If something were to happen to you, where you cut yourself again, and…"

"Look, I don't blame you one bit for being worried about that, but it's not going to happen again. I haven't freaked like that in years. I wasn't expecting it, so it just… I don't know, got away from me." He sighed. "If it will make you feel better, I won't do any work today while you're gone, so you won't have to worry about me freaking. I'll just sit here with Alice and look over the bills; maybe make some calls to get some more patients booked. I'll probably end up doing some reading too. No harm in that, right?"

I bit my bottom lip as I considered it. Perhaps trusting Edward with Alice would help him find a little more trust in me as well, and make him feel like he could begin to open up to me. And I really needed to go see Jasper; the idea of not going to him was practically killing me… but were the risks too great? After his meltdown it was probably stupid of me to even consider it.

"Bella, I promise you, she will be fine - we will be fine here. Jasper needs you, so go."

My stomach twisted at the thought of not being there when Jasper arrived, so reluctantly, I agreed.

I hurried to get ready to go, then I sat down next to Alice to explain everything to her.

"Hey, so you remember my cousin Jasper, right?" I asked her. She was fully engrossed in my old book, but she placed her finger on the page to hold her spot, and then looked up at me and nodded. "Well, he was hurt in the war, so he's coming home, and I'm going to go see him. Are you okay staying with Edward for a few hours?"

Her eyes widened, and then she looked over at Edward full of uncertainty. Edward smiled and nodded encouragingly, so she looked back at me and also nodded.

"You sure? I'll be back tonight. Edward will make you lunch and dinner, ok?"

Again, she nodded, which made me feel world's better.

It was difficult for me to leave, but as I was getting into the car, Edward stood on the porch to see me off, and surprisingly, Alice skipped out the door to stand next to him and wave at me with a smile. Seeing them there together I was suddenly overrun with confidence. What happened that morning with Edward seemed inconsequential compared to the gravity of that moment. Whatever demons Edward had inside if him, I knew we would somehow, someday overcome them together. He was a good man at heart, and that must have been what Alice was able to see in him as well, otherwise she would have never been okay with that situation.

I drove as quickly as legally possible to the city, and straight to the hospital. When I arrived I asked the receptionist if Jasper had arrived yet, and was in luck that he had just gotten there and was being checked out by the doctor.

I waited outside his room, and finally a doctor exited and said I may go inside. Having no idea what state he'd be in, I took a deep breath, and then entered the room.

Once inside, I was surprised to see half his face was covered with a bandage, but otherwise he didn't look too bad. I sat next to him quietly because his one exposed eye was closed, and I didn't want to wake him if he was sleeping. Twenty minutes or so later, he began to stir.

"Hey, Jazzy Pants," I said softly, calling him by my childhood nickname for him.

He blinked a few times, and when he was able to focus on me, he forced out a painful smile. "Hey Bell-ogna sandwich," he croaked my nickname in return.

"I came as soon as I heard. I can't believe they didn't notify me sooner," I said, still upset about the situation.

"Nah. What would you have done? Flown across the country to see me? I've been stuck in a hospital in Florida for over two weeks."

"Yes, of course I would have flown to Florida to see you. I would have flown to Iraq if that's what it took."

"No, I'm glad you didn't. I wouldn't have wanted you to see me sooner than this. I'm sure it's still not a pretty sight, but at least I can talk without it hurting like hell."

I sighed. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Our Humvee hit a land mine," he said emotionally. "Four members of our unit died."

I gasped. "Oh my god."

"I suppose I was one of the lucky ones. Doc said I should be able to walk again."

"Thank god."

"But the side of my face is messed up. I lost my hearing and eyesight on that side, which probably won't come back."

I nodded sadly. "But you're going to be ok. That's all that matters."

"I don't know. I've been thinking lately that it would have been better if I died with them."

"Jasper! Please don't say that," I said emotionally.

"One of the guys who died… he has a baby on the way. His first child. I would have gladly given my life so his kid could have a father. I mean, what am I even going home to? An empty apartment. Don't get me wrong, Bells, I love you, but its not like I have a family of my own who needs me. My life certainly isn't more important than any of those men who died that day, and yet, I'm still here, and they're not."

"Jazz, I'm so sorry," I said while wiping the tear streaming down my cheek.

"I can't go back. They won't let me with how my vision and hearing is… All I have ever known is the military. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself now?"

"Well… I am looking for a stable hand," I said, almost as a joke, hoping to lighten his mood just a little.

"I really love horses," he mused. "Maybe I could come help for a bit. You know, Bells, I'm really proud of you for following through with that. You made your dream a reality. Not many people have the guts to do that."

"Thanks, but it's not quite a reality yet. We still haven't had our first patient come out yet."

"Well, I'm available as soon as they let me leave here."

"Hey, if you're coming out there, you're coming to work, not be a patient," I teased him. "I expect you to earn your keep."

"Thanks Bella. I really do appreciate the opportunity. I honestly have no idea where else to go."

"You will always be welcome at the ranch with us."

"Us?" he asked confused. "Who else is there with you? Oh wait, Alice was planning to stay for a bit, right?"

"Alice and Edward," I said casually, momentarily forgetting that he didn't know anything about Edward. In a way it seemed like Edward and I had been together forever, so them not knowing each other just felt odd.

"Edward?"

"He's my… uh, boyfriend I guess," I said, feeling weird calling him something as insignificant as a boyfriend.

"Wow, so you finally truly and completely kicked Mike to the curb, and you're already living with someone else? I gotta say, I'm a little impressed. How the hell did Carlisle and Emmett allow you to shack up with some guy so soon?" he asked playfully.

I huffed. "I am an adult."

"Yeah, but you'all are paranoid. Wait, did you say you left Alice with this guy? Who the hell are you, and what did you do with my cousin?"

"Har har. Alice is actually pretty comfortable with him."

"Wow, this guy must be special. I can't wait to meet him."

"Yeah well, all the men I surround myself with are pretty special," I said meaningfully.

"Except I've know Alice for years and she still keeps her distance from me. I doubt she'd ever stay alone with me like that."

"Well she stayed with him ok, I just hope she's still doing ok. I should probably go call them."

"Hey, it's not like I'm going anywhere. You should go check in on her," Jasper encouraged.

"Ok, I'll be right back."

"Everything is fine," Edward assured me the moment he answered the phone. "I've hardly heard a peep from her. She finished the island dolphin book, and is now onto Harry Potter."

"Wow, she's just going through my teen collection, huh," I said relieved with a smile.

"Yeah, and maybe we'll even get to move her to adult books eventually…. Wow, that didn't sound right at all."

I giggled. "I understood your intent."

"How's your cousin?" he then asked.

I sighed. "He's ok. His entire left side of his body took the brunt of the blast, so he has some substantial burns, and he's blind and deaf on that side too. He tore some ligaments in one of his legs, but the doctors think he'll be able to make a full recovery from that."

"I'm sorry to hear that.. I mean, it's good he's going to recover, but his injuries sound pretty bad. How long does he have to be in the hospital for?"

"Well, that's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay. What's up?"

"Jasper is actually doing pretty well considering. I think they're going to release him soon. Like, real soon. I offered to let him come stay at the ranch with us. He doesn't have anyone else, and I don't think it's a good idea for him to really be alone right now anyway."

Edward let out a long slow breath, which made me nervous. I suddenly realized I should have talked to him before extending the invite, but I honestly didn't even think he'd have an issue with it.

"Well," Edward said after a moment. "I guess I'm okay with it… as long as you sleep in the middle."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"He is your cousin. I don't want the guy sleeping next to me in the bed. What if he gets all handsy?"

"He wouldn't be sleeping in our bed," I said, baffled as to why he'd think that.

"Bella…. I'm kidding," he said, clearly surprised that I didn't catch on to his joke right away.

"Oh. Right," I said lightly. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day," I told him.

"I know," he murmured. "Why don't you get a room tonight? I'm sure you're exhausted. Could be a little dangerous for you to drive all the way back right now."

"I can't leave you with Alice overnight," I said quickly. Surprised he'd even offer something like that.

"Why? Does she still wake up for three A.M. feedings? Just tell me how to make her bottles and I'll be fine."

"Is she really doing ok with you?" I asked, surprising myself by even considering being gone overnight. The truth was it would help a ton if I could stay, that way I could visit with Jasper longer and see him again the following day before I left.

"Bella, she's fine. I really don't know why Esme was so worried. She hasn't freaked out once."

"Yeah, maybe she's not the one I'm worried about," I semi joked.

"Yeah, I deserved that one," he mumbled to himself. "Well, you'd be glad to know, I have not freaked out either. Thank you very much."

I giggled at him. Despite his earlier confounding meltdown, I found myself falling in love with him more and more by the moment. I was still scared to death by whatever issue he had, but only because I was worried he'd end up hurting himself worse, and I feared where it came from. What could have happened to him to cause such a traumatizing reaction? However, seeing him in that state had also made me see a vulnerable side to him - He wasn't perfect, and in a way, that only made me love him that much more. Of course, him taking care of Alice in that way would be enough for me to fall in love with him even if I wasn't already. He really was a truly amazing, and mystifying creature, and I couldn't wait to continue falling for him, as I was sure I'd continue to do for the rest of my life.

So I stayed in a cheap hotel room for the night, and when I returned to the hospital the next morning I was hit with some incredible news.

"Wow, they're really releasing you?" I asked surprised. I really had thought he'd be there for another week at least.

"Well, reluctantly," Jasper admitted. "They want me to stay longer, but I've already been in hospitals for too long. I'm going crazy here. They found me a burn center that I'll need to go to for treatments, as well as a physical therapist, both within forty minutes or so of the ranch," he said eagerly.

"That's awesome!" I told him. It really was a win-win situation too. I would be there to hopefully help him heal, both physically and emotionally, but his presence at the ranch would help me as well. Not only was he one of my favorite people in the world, but he really was great with horses since he was raised around them. He wouldn't be ready to care for them himself for a while, but he could definitely point out any mistakes I might make. And when he does heal, he could act as my stable hand until he decides he wants to move on. I was actually elated by the situation. I only hoped he and Edward got along as well.

It seemed to take forever, but finally, several hours later, Jasper was released from the hospital with strict instructions to rest and be seen locally as an outpatient. The moment we got on the road, I could see Jasper visibly relax. Hospitals weren't fun for anyone, but considering all he had been through, I was sure being able to go home was a relief I couldn't even begin to imagine.

My poor cousin was broken and battered, and had been to hell and back. He had lost his friends, and his entire way of life as he knew it. But his life, would continue. Helping people like him heal, was exactly what I had intended my ranch to be, and I truly believed Jasper would build the next chapter of his life there.

Most of our drive home was quiet. Jasper was never particularly talkative, but there was a definite heaviness in the air around him that was never there before, which considering everything was perfectly understandable. But we did talk occasionally - He asked about Edward, and wanted to know more about how Alice was doing. I tentatively asked about his time overseas as well, however he quickly made it clear he wasn't ready to discuss it anymore than he had already told me, and I wasn't surprised, and I certainly didn't want to push him. Above all else, I was just grateful he was there, sitting next to me again, when it could have easily ended in tragedy, and did for so many. Regardless of any hard times I may go through in my life, I knew just how incredibly blessed I truly was for all the amazing people I had around me.

Jasper eventually fell asleep, and stayed that way for the remainder of the trip. When we finally arrived home, I was ecstatic to see Edward and Alice sitting on the porch swing together, reading while they waited for us. They both looked up as I pulled the car in, and smiled at me as I got out.

"Hey," I said, getting unexpectedly emotional as Edward came to embrace me.

"Wow babe, I knew you missed me, but I wasn't expecting you to have missed me this much," he teased me while wiping my tears with his thumbs.

I laughed once. "I know. What is this?" I asked, just as clueless about it as he was.

"Its okay. I missed you too," he said sincerely, while pulling me back into him tenderly.

I buried my face into his neck, and just inhaled his sweet scent deep inside my lungs. But then I felt the very unexpected soft embrace of Alice, as she wrapped her arms around both Edward and me.

"Oh, hey," I said, before turning to hug her back. "How are you? I'm so sorry I wasn't able to get back last night. Were you scared at all?"

She smiled at me, and then shook her head no.

"I tried scaring her, but she just thought I was being dumb," Edward told me with a laugh.

I raised my brows at him. "You tried scaring her?"

"Well, it's her fault. She wanted to watch a movie, and all you had in there were freaking horror films, but she insisted."

"You put on a horror film for her?" I asked, thinking maybe I shouldn't have left her with him after all.

"Its not like you had 'Bambi'," he argued.

Alice wrinkled her nose at the mention of 'Bambi'.

"See?" Edward nearly shouted while pointing at Alice. "She doesn't want to watch any dumb cartoons anyway. So we watched 'The Exorcist'."

I gasped. "What? Edward! Why would you put that on for her?"

"Me? Why the hell would you even own a movie like that? I told you, I only watch chick flicks. I wasn't even sure what the hell that movie was. She picked it out, and I was terrified…. Of course, I kept thinking she'd be scared and we could turn it off, but nope. She made us watch the whole damn thing."

"Alice, are you ok?" I asked her concerned.

"Hey, I'm the one you should be concerned about. She laughed the entire time, and then she laughed half the night. I was lying in bed and I kept hearing her in her room just laughing. Do you know how freaking terrifying that was? I thought she was possessed like the girl in that movie. I was sure her head was going to start spinning and then she'd projectile vomit all over the house. Can you imagine having to clean that?"

I laughed. "So you were more concerned about having to clean the vomit than her potential possession by a demon?" I questioned.

"Of course. I didn't want you to have to come home to that."

Having no idea how else to respond to that, I just shook my head at him. Thankfully, Alice didn't seem traumatized at all by the horror film, so I was glad I didn't have to really be upset by it. Edward winning over Alice so easily, and Esme, and Rose, and even Emmett, just added to the beautiful wonder that was Edward. I didn't know how he did it, but I was so beyond happy that he did.

After a minute, Jasper finally started stirring, so I hurried over to the passenger side of the car to help him out.

"Go slow," I told him. His casted leg made it difficult to maneuver himself out of the car, and with his entire left side also injured, I wasn't sure where I could grab. So when Edward came over to help, I was grateful, yet again, that he was there.

"Thanks," Jasper said awkwardly to Edward after he basically had to lift him out of the car, while I grabbed his crutches.

"No problem," Edward told him. "I'm, Edward, by the way."

"I figured as much," Jasper replied lightly. "I'm glad to meet you. Bella practically talked about you non-stop on the trip here," he lied, and then he looked to Alice. "Hey there, Allie," he told her. He was never close to Alice, hardly interacted with her at all, but he was the only one besides Esme she'd allow to call her Allie.

"Hi," she replied with a smile, absolutely flooring us.

I looked at Edward questionably, but he just shrugged, just as surprised as Jasper and I were.

"Don't make a big deal out of it," I warned the guys quietly. I feared if we commented on her speaking, she'd not want to do it again for a while. "Come on, let's all go inside."

When we got inside the house, Alice surprised us yet again by reaching up to Jasper's facial bandage, and caressing it gently.

"Uh?" Jasper said while looking at me for help.

"Oh, careful Alice. He's hurt, and we're not supposed to touch it," I explained softly.

She looked at me with an expression I could have sworn was a "Duh!", and I couldn't help but giggle, but then, of course, she looked at me for an explanation.

"Jasper was burned, and…"

"I'm just a little messed up," he cut me off so he could speak for himself.

And, because she wasn't done surprising us yet, she looked at Jasper intensely, and said to him - "Its okay."

The entire thing was beautiful, and if I wasn't so shocked I probably would have been in tears again. Jasper, on the other hand, broke down and started crying, which was almost as shocking as Alice's behavior. I had never seen Jazz cry before, not even when his mother died, and the next thing I knew, I was devoured with tears once more.

I didn't understand any of it. It was such an surreal and wonderful moment, that I wondered if I would have even believed it if I didn't witness it myself. Alice must have just known that Jasper needed that, even when he didn't know it himself. She really was a pure and loving soul, and I knew we were all better for having her there with us.

The four of us went inside, where Edward had dinner ready and waiting for us. We all sat together at the table, and the guys forced small talk to try to get to know each other. Jasper was very polite and respectful of Edward, unlike Emmett had been, but also unlike Em, Jasper never really seemed to warm up to Edward, which was unexpected and slightly disappointing.

The rest of the evening was just awkward – Edward would try to engage with Jasper, but besides short - one word responses, he would hardly speak to him at all. Then again, I was sure Jasper was a little shell shocked from everything he had been through, so I wasn't all that concerned. They would have plenty of time to get to know each other later. Alice didn't speak anymore for the evening either, she simply retreated to a chair in the living room, and picked up the book she had been reading.

"Bella, I'm actually feeling pretty tired. Do you mind if I turn in?" Jasper asked after a bit.

"Of course not. Uh…" I paused when I realized I didn't actually have a plan of where he was going to sleep. I had left so quickly after finding out he was hurt, that I didn't prepare anything. Luckily, I did have an amazing man to help me.

"Uh, I hope you don't mind, but I converted the den into a room for him," Edward told me quietly.

"You did?" I asked confused but relieved. "We have another guest room upstairs. Or maybe the apartment?"

"Yeah, I thought he'd probably move into the apartment when he's more healed. As for now, I figured stairs might be a problem. I brought down the bed from upstairs, and added a temporary door… You know, until he can get around better."

I smiled widely, and then kissed him hard and fast. "See? That's why I love you."

Edward nodded. "Good to know I'm loved for my carpentry skills," he said casually, pretending to be offended.

I giggled. "Among other things." Then I turned to Jasper. "Come on, I'll help you get settled in."

"Thank you," Jazz said to Edward as he passed him on his way to the den.

Edward certainly wasn't kidding when he said he converted the den. It looked like an entirely different room; not unlike any of the other bedrooms in the house. I just couldn't get over how lucky I was to have him. I really needed to send Rosalie a thank you gift for sending him to me, and making my life infinitely better than I could ever have imagined.

Of course, because things couldn't just be that perfect, as soon as we were alone, Jasper decided to let me know why he seemed so cold to Edward.

"I know him," he said, taking me aback.

"You know him?" I asked, becoming instantly concerned. If it was a good coincidental acquaintance, Jasper wouldn't have been so short with him. "From where?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I really wanted to know.

Jasper shook his head. "I don't know."

I huffed. "Well, how do you know you know him then?"

"I don't know, I just do. Everything about the way he talks, and his… I don't know. He's definitely familiar. I noticed it the moment I saw him."

I bit my bottom lip. "That's … silly," I said, trying to dismiss him, but the truth was it freaked me out. I recognized him from somewhere when I first met him as well. That couldn't be a coincidence. Something was off, I just wish Edward would trust me enough to tell me the truth...


	10. Threat

**Chapter 10 – Threat**

Regardless of the fact that Jasper was convinced he knew Edward from somewhere, he was never rude to him the way Emmett was with his mistrust. He simply kept his distance, but at the same time, tried to keep an eye on him as well. Jasper knew I loved him, and he certainly didn't want to get in the way of that, but he was still protective and was worried I'd end up getting hurt in some way.

However, Edward's perplexing familiarity to both Jasper and me, was quickly put on the back burner because we were finally ready to open the ranch. Our first patient was a little boy with autism. He actually reminded me quite a bit of Alice in several ways: withdrawn into himself, didn't speak, and would often have severe meltdowns that his parents didn't know how to help. And like Alice, he too had one of the most beautiful souls I had ever encountered.

"Wow, that was really awesome," Edward told me after the boy and his family left.

"I know, wasn't it!" I said, almost feeling an adrenaline rush from just how engaged the boy had been with the horses. I definitely had goosebumps. "His parents were in tears, I was in tears, it was so incredible."

"I'm pretty sure you have a repeat customer in them," Edward said with a proud smile, while wrapping me in his arms.

"I really hope so… and not because we need the money. I think these horses are going to help a lot of people."

"I think so too," Edward told me. "Bella, I really do feel privileged for being here and getting to see that. So, thank you. I never lived anywhere I could be proud of before."

I hugged myself tighter to his chest. "I love you… and I know we wouldn't be open right now without you," I said assuredly.

"You would have found a way," he said tenderly. "I don't think you even know how to fail."

That night we celebrated our grand opening by spending the evening with everyone together, eating a delicious dinner. It was actually pretty much like any other night, except that night definitely felt celebratory, and Edward surprised me with champagne.

"Wow, this really is a party," I said, feeling lighter than air.

"Hell yes it is!" Edward replied enthusiastically.

"Oh, none for me, thanks," Jasper said when Edward tried to pour him a glass.

"Alice?" Edward offered her some. I was about to protest, but reluctantly let it go when I saw just how excited she was by it. "She must really love champagne," Edward said to me as we watched her down the first small amount he had given her.

"I don't think her parents have ever allowed her to have any before," I mused, feeling slightly guilty knowing they wouldn't approve.

"Why not? She's well over twenty one," Edward said with annoyance laced in his voice.

"I guess they just… didn't think she could handle it."

"Yep, like they didn't think she could handle books without pictures in them," he scoffed.

Edward did seem to get annoyed quite often by things I'd say the Cullens did, which I thought was strange, but I let most of it go. I too realized a lot of it was annoying since he had started pointing it out, but they were still my family and I didn't like speaking poorly about them.

The next few weeks saw a steady stream of patients, and a pleasant visit from Esme. Alice was doing so well, but basically refused to go anywhere alone with her mother out of fear she'd force her to leave with her, so reluctantly Esme ended up letting her stay. I knew she missed her daughter, however the separation was definitely good for Alice. She was absolutely thriving.

All in all, everything was going so smoothly that I began to think we dodged a bullet with the storm that had been brewing around us, but, as I would soon discover, the storm was never gone - we had only entered the eye, and the full force of all its fury would soon be upon us…

"Hey, what's this?" I asked one evening in bed, as I noticed a bandage on Edward's arm when his sleeve rode up a bit.

"Nothing," he said dismissively, but I knew better.

"Did you cut yourself?" I asked concerned.

Edward laughed once. "You say that like it's something I'd do on purpose."

I raised a brow at him. "No, but it's not like I could forget what happened the last time you got a cut."

"I know, but this was nothing. I was opening the barn door, but the latch caught, and then it slipped and sliced through my forearm. It wasn't a big deal. Hardly bled."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. "Why are you lying here in bed next to me, with a long sleeve shirt on, if it was nothing?"

"What? I'm not allowed to wear a shirt?" he asked with faux confusion. He knew exactly what my issue was, and he was playing dumb.

"You never wear a shirt to bed," I pointed out. I was wondering why he seemed to be avoiding sex that evening. It certainly wasn't like him, but now it made sense.

"It was just comfortable. What's the big deal?" he asked, beginning to get defensive.

"The big deal is you got hurt, and you're trying to hide it."

"Okay, yeah, maybe I am. Because I knew you would be upset by it, and look, I was right!"

"Let me see your arm," I insisted.

"No."

"Edward, let me see it!"

"Why? So you can freak out even more than you are now?"

"Please just let me see it," I said more gently. "Are you really planning to keep your arms covered until it heals? That's going to be a lot of nights without sex," I pointed out.

He smirked at me. "Sex doesn't require me to remove my shirt."

I narrowed my eyes at him, so he huffed and pulled his shirt over his head. Much to my horror, once again, his arm was covered in hand print bruises.

"Oh Edward," I sighed, and had to force myself to not cry. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Bella, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. This isn't fine. You said it wasn't going to happen again. Please just talk to me. Maybe I can help you."

He sighed. "Nothing has changed since the last time this happened. I'm still not going to tell you the truth, so if you're going to insist on some kind of explanation, then I'll have to make something up… and Bella, I hate lying to you. So please, just let it go."

His words just about broke my heart again. He never raised his voice – in fact, it sounded more like a desperate plea. He was almost begging me to let it go, and the pain in his eyes became my pain, as I realized that I just couldn't help him if he wouldn't let me. I could do nothing for him except to keep loving him, and that's exactly what I intended to do.

"Okay," I told him gently, and then caressed his face before kissing him. I wanted to kiss his arm where he was injured, just to try to further prove to him just how much I loved him, but he made it clear he didn't want me anywhere near his arm at all. I didn't understand it, but I did as he asked and proceeded to kiss him everywhere other than there.

The weeks continued to roll by, and before I knew it, we were getting ready for Thanksgiving, and I couldn't have been happier. Although Christmas was my favorite holiday, I loved Thanksgiving almost as much, and this year I was excited more than ever since I had more to be thankful for than ever before. But as it turned out, it was not the happy family filled holiday I was expecting…

"What do you mean, you're leaving?" I asked, completely dumbfounded. I couldn't even imagine anything that could possibly take him away from home on a holiday.

Edward huffed. "Do you remember a few months ago you said that I should contact my mom because she may be upset that I haven't been back in so long?"

"Yeah, and you assured me she wouldn't be."

"Yeah, well I started really thinking about it, and with the holidays here, I just…" He shrugged.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I contacted her yesterday, and she's … not doing so well. She's been divorced from my step father for a while. I guess you were right, she was really happy to hear from me."

"Yesterday?" I asked, trying to calm down. Contacting his mother could only be a good thing, except it felt incredibly wrong for some strange reason. "Why didn't you tell me after you talked to her?"

"I meant to, it just… you were going on about how excited you were with all the Cullens coming, and how it was going to be such a big deal. I don't know, I felt bad. My mom basically begged me to come home for the holiday since she's going to be alone…"

"Why don't you have her come here? I'd love to meet her," I suggested.

"She's been sick. She can't travel and I doubt she would anyway. She's not the most social of individuals. Look, I told her I'd go after the holiday, but she gave me a guilt trip about being so sick. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do."

"I do. I'm going to go with you," I decided.

"Bella, no."

"No, you're right. If she's sick, we should go to her. It's okay, I'm sure the Cullens can host everyone at their place, or they can still come here and just do it without us. I want to meet your mom."

"Bella, you can't come," Edward said strangely.

"Why?" I asked, reluctantly becoming suspicious. I wanted to believe everything he was saying, but there were times when he made it really hard.

"Because we have patients coming on Friday, and I probably wont be back until Sunday at the earliest. You can't cancel on them; they're counting on this."

I tried to think of ways around it, but in the end, he was right. I couldn't cancel or reschedule. It was upsetting that he was leaving for the holiday and I had to stay, but I suppose it was quite common for some couples. Rose and Em didn't spend a Christmas together until they were actually married. I wanted to be with Edward for that time more than anything, but at least we still had the rest of the coming holidays to celebrate together.

So Edward left the next morning, and I was already missing him by the time the Cullens arrived, but with so many people, it was a nice distraction.

"Well, hey. I thought it would take a miracle to get you out here again," I said as I hugged Carlisle hello.

"I know, sweetheart. I do apologize," he told me warmly. "But the ranch looks every bit as wonderful as Esme was telling me. Congratulations on your business opening. Your father would sure be proud of you."

"Thank you. I'm glad you're happy with how everything looks. This is still your home, so…"

"No Bella, this is your home. You're the only one who could ever do anything constructive with it, and I'm so happy you have."

"Thank you," I said again.

"So, where's Edward?" Emmett asked in a strangely sharp tone.

"Oh yes, where is this new boyfriend of yours that seems to have won over this whole family so quickly?" Carlisle asked curiously.

"Uh… he had to go see his mom for the holiday," I told them, confused by Em's off demeanor.

"That's too bad. I've been really looking forward to meeting him," Carlisle said sincerely.

Emmett, on the other hand, was less pleasant. "His mom? He told me he doesn't have any family."

"Well, it's been a long time," I explained.

"Huh. Sure it has," he said sarcastically. "Seems awfully convenient."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned him.

"Emmett, what is with the attitude?" Esme asked.

"Nothing, mom. Sorry. I guess I'm just hungry." Emmett looked at me strangely, and then he seemed to let it go.

When dinner was ready we all sat together, and as our usual tradition, we each took turns stating what we were thankful for. When my turn came, I recited my list of personal blessings, and made sure to single out Edward in particular, despite him not being there to hear it. Esme got teary eyed hearing just how happy and in love I was, but abruptly, Em scoffed.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, since it wasn't like he was trying to hide his resentment.

"Nothing," he said shortly. "Who's turn is it next?"

I let it go for the moment, but as soon as we were done eating, I decided to pull him outside and confront him.

"Bella, I'm sorry, that was really rude and I don't mean to do that to you. It's just hard to conceal my bitterness for that guy right now."

"For what guy?" I asked.

"For Edward. I'm really pissed he's not here actually."

"Em," I sighed. "He wanted to be here. He just had to go see his mom."

"That's a load of crap!" he exploded, but then he decided to lower his voice. "He told me he doesn't have any family."

I narrowed my eyes at him, unsure what he was really upset about. "I told you, she hasn't been in his life in a long time. He hasn't considered her family since he left home."

Emmett shook his head.

"Where is all this anger coming from all of a sudden?" I asked him. "You just called here last week, and talked to him for over an hour. "

"Yeah, well… that was before I found out."

"Found out what?" I asked, getting frustrated that he wouldn't just come out and say whatever it was that was wrong.

He shook his head again. "I'm sorry, Bella, I wanted to confront him in person, but since he's not here, I need you to know what I found."

"Okay?" I said, suddenly feeling anxious. What could he have possibly found that upset him that much?

"Well, I received a phone call from my buddy at the police station a couple of days ago. He said he just arrested a guy for burglary, who then admitted to them that he had a much bigger target he was planning to hit over the holidays."

"Okay?" I said, unsure what that had to do with anything.

"Bella, the target is our family. This guy said he was working with someone else who was already on the inside, and they've been planning some big scheme to steal millions of dollars from the Cullen family. It's been a plan they've been working on for over a year."

"That's… horrible, but… what does that have anything to do with Edward?" I asked slowly.

"The guy said his partner's name is James Anthony. Sound familiar at all?" he asked. I shook my head no, so he huffed. "Really? Because Rose told me you called her after Edward first got here, and were worried because he slipped up and introduced himself to Mike as Anthony."

"He told him his name was Edward Anthony… He never said James."

"Close enough. So I got worried, and asked the guy to run a background check on James Anthony, and he sent this to me…" he said before pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, and handing it to me.

I unfolded the paper, and my stomach jumped into my throat. James Anthony had a long record, ranging from shoplifting and drug possessions, to stealing cars and trying to cash stolen checks. He even had an assault charge, which scared me more than everything else combined. That person couldn't be Edward because he swore to me that he never hurt anyone physically, and I believed him with all my heart, but then Emmett handed me a mug shot…

"Looks like a spazzed out hobo version of him, but it's still him," Em said quietly.

The man in the picture had long - bleached out hair that draped down on either side of his hollow cheeks. He had a heavy beard and a blank stare, and looked to be absolutely filthy. He didn't resemble the man I loved whatsoever, except there was no mistaking his eyes. Despite the intoxicated daze he appeared to be in, and the black circles that surrounded them, the unique green shade of his irises were unmistakable.

"Oh my god," I said, while my hand reflexively reached up to cover my mouth.

"I didn't want to believe it either," Em murmured while rubbing my back supportively.

I didn't know what to say or do, I wasn't even sure which way was up at that point, but Em knew exactly how he wanted to handle it.

"I'm going to stay here until he gets back so I can confront him… Make him admit it all, and then I'm going to call the police."

I swallowed roughly as my brain worked in overdrive to try to think about where to go from there, but I did know one thing for sure…

"No," I told him as strongly as I was capable of.

"No?" Em asked confused.

"No, you aren't going to confront him, and you sure as hell aren't going to call the police."

"But Bella…"

"No!" I repeated stronger. "Thank you for telling me about this, but I need you to leave when the rest of your family does. This doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't!" he retorted. "If you think for a moment I'm going to leave you alone with that piece of shit, you have another thing coming."

"Emmett, Edward is my boyfriend. He lives here with me. He shares my bed. It has nothing to do with you!"

"Except for the fact that he is planning to con and steal from my family!" he argued. "And he used my wife as a way in. He was probably planning on stealing from her first because her last name is Cullen, then I bet she mentioned this ranch and he figured if he played his cards right, he could have an even bigger payday."

"I don't have anything of value for him to steal," I contradicted.

"He certainly didn't know that when he first got here. She probably called it her family ranch. He probably assumed he could find access to my dad's bank account here. That son of a bitch came here to rob us, Bella!"

I shook my head. "I don't believe it."

"What don't you believe? The guy who was arrested named him, and told the police their entire plan."

"Well… plans change." I said, surprising the both of us. "Edward loves me. He wouldn't do anything that would hurt me like that," I said confidently.

I was devastated to learn about the plan Edward may have had in coming to the ranch, but then again, I already knew he had some huge horrifying secret that he was scared I'd discover. I promised him I would love him regardless of his past, and I still meant it.

"Bella, would you even listen to yourself right now?" Em asked, completely flabbergasted. "He's using you, and you're just taking the bait. I can't believe you could be this stupid."

"Emmett, I love him. And maybe he had a terrible ulterior motive for coming here, but that's not him anymore. This is not him," I said confidently while pointing at the mug shot. "Whatever he was planning to do, that plan ended a while ago. I'm sure of that."

"So, you're just going to sweep it under the carpet? Be his doormat and let him walk all over you?"

"I'm not his doormat. He loves me too."

"So he says. Seems like a good way to gain your trust," Em tried pointing out. "Bella, I'm willing to give you a chance to confront him first yourself, but then I'm calling the police. I will not allow him to spend one more night in this house."

"But it's not up to you. Your dad just told me it's my house. If I want him to stay, then he stays," I said impassively.

"Yeah, well I'm sure the police will have to disagree with you," he said like a smartass.

"Except these are all past crimes," I pointed out. "Says here he was in jail and already punished for most of them. There's no outstanding warrants, so I really don't see the police doing anything at all," I countered.

"Bella, he was planning to rob us! His buddy, Victor Laurent, who is currently sitting in a jail cell, admitted everything and ratted him out."

"And you just said that guy was arrested for a separate crime that has nothing to do with Edward."

"What does that matter? They had been working together on a plot to steal from our family."

"That doesn't mean Edward was still planning it. That guy was probably just bitter that Edward abandoned the plan, and wanted payback so he told the police all that in hopes of getting him in trouble too."

"You don't know he abandoned the plan!" he argued. "The Laurent guy said it was set for the holidays, and surprise-surprise, look who suddenly left during Thanksgiving to see some mystery mom that he hasn't cared about until now."

"So you think he's off somewhere trying to rob us? That doesn't even make sense. If he wanted to steal from your dad, he would have stayed here. He's still never even met him."

"The holidays are just starting. Christmas is still a month away. Maybe he left to go work on the plan with Laurent some more, and didn't realize he had been arrested."

"Or maybe he is visiting his mother… Or maybe he was planning to do what you said, and he left to go meet that Laurent guy to tell him the plan was off. We don't really know anything for sure right now."

"Why are you still defending him?" he asked angrily.

"I already told you why. I love him, and that's not changing anytime soon. So you're just going to have to accept it, and leave it alone."

"This bastard has been living with my sister," Em seethed. "Bella, you have a criminal living with Alice, and you're just okay with that?"

"He would never hurt her, and she trusts him."

"It says he's been charged with assault," he said heatedly. "Assault!"

"That could mean anything," I maintained. "Look, Em, I'm not going to have him arrested, and I'm not going to make him leave. I appreciate your concern, but this is Edward's home now, and you're the guest. Don't forget that."

"His name isn't even Edward!" Em shouted at me.

I bit my bottom lip. "It is until he says otherwise."

Emmett shook his head. "Nope. I'm not going to just sit back and let this go. No way, no how. I wonder what my dad will think of all of this. Doesn't matter what he told you in the past, this place is still legally his. I'm sure he will do anything to keep that garbage off his property and away from Alice. You stand by him, and you won't be allowed here either."

"I never thought you would ever threaten me like that," I said, stunned and hurt that he could be so cold.

"Yeah, and I never thought you'd take the side of a criminal over your own family," he snapped back. "I'm not the bad guy here, Bella. He's a threat to us all. He can't stay here. I won't allow him anywhere near my sister, or on our property. You want to be his little accomplice, you're going to have to find somewhere else to do it."

"This ranch is my dream," I told him with tears spilling over my cheeks.

"And yet, you're willing to throw it all away for a felon."

I shook my head ever so slightly, but it wasn't in denial of what he was saying, it was in denial of the entire situation. It seemed I had just lost my future due to that one conversation; a future which had seemed so secure just an hour earlier.

"I need some time to think about it," I told Em.

"I honestly don't understand what there is to think about," he grumbled.

"Would you be able to turn off your feeling for Rose so easily?" I asked him, praying he'd show a little compassion on the matter.

"Rose is my wife!" he rebutted. "We have a history. You only met this guy a few months ago, and it's now clear you still don't even know him at all."

I let out a long, slow breath. There would be no changing his mind. Emmett had me against a brick wall, and I had no choice but to choose. It was either my dream ranch that I had worked so hard to achieve, or a newish relationship with man who had admittedly lied repeatedly, and clearly had some substantial mental issues….

"Okay," I said quietly. "But he won't be back for two more weeks," I said, feeling completely defeated. "I need to talk to him about this in person."

"Fine. I can't wait for him here that long, or I'm sure I'll lose my job… But I will be back. Since you agreed to get rid of him, I'm not going to mention any of this to my parents because I'm sure they will have a heart attack knowing Alice was here with that garbage, but Bella, I'm not kidding around. He's not allowed to step foot on this property unless I'm here, or I will have to bring my parents in and have them force your hand. This is incredibly serious. You don't really know this guy. He could be dangerous."

"I understand, dad," I spat bitterly.

"You can be pissed at me all you want, but I guarantee your dad would have said the same thing."

"Whatever Emmett. Just go. I need time to… let this all sink in, and figure out what I'm going to say to him."

"You may not believe me right now, but I am sorry. I hate that you have to go through this. It is for the best though. In the long run, you'll see it's for the best."

I just shook my head at him and was done listening, so he left me alone outside and went back into the house.

"Everything okay?" Jasper asked me concerned when I finally rejoined the group for dessert.

"Everything is fine," I lied.

Em tried speaking to me casually a few times that evening, clearly hoping to smooth things over, but there was no way I was even capable of being all chummy with him at that moment. He was forcing my life into a tailspin, and it wasn't something I could forget about, not even temporarily, not even for the sake of the holiday.

I was sure everyone could sense the tension around me, but thankfully, everybody seemed to ignore it.

The Cullens all needed to get back on the road bright and early the next morning, so they said their goodbyes. Of course, Esme tried convincing Alice to go home with them, but she refused, so we agreed on another two week interval.

The moment they left, I did all the necessary morning chores for the horses, and then I immediately started planning my next move. I had lied to Emmett when I told him Edward would be gone for two weeks; the truth was I was expecting him within a couple days, so I needed to figure it all out fast.

I just kept thinking about all the pain in Edward's eyes at times, and his upsetting issues with his own blood, and I knew there was still so much more to his story than a past of petty crime. I refused to give up on him, and I would use those two weeks to try to come up with some kind of solution.

Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, I made a discovery that would make the situation infinitely harder…


	11. Conned

**Chapter 11 – Conned**

Edward arrived home that Sunday night, just as he said he would, and because of the late hour, I was already in bed. I had been so anxious for his return - unsure if I would feel differently towards him due to the revelation of his shady past -that I actually planned to pretend to be sleeping, just to give me one more night to consider everything. However, when the bed dipped from him climbing besides me, and I felt his sweet warm embrace as he cuddled up to me, I knew I was powerless against him. It didn't matter that he was keeping his past from me, or that I only met him a few months prior, my love for him was so incredibly strong that I was willing to give up absolutely everything just to stay with him.

When Edward's cuddles made it impossible for me to continue with my sleeping charade, I turned towards him and immediately started kissing him. We didn't even verbalize a hello before we made love, and that was perfectly fine with me. I needed him, and I was desperate to keep him as close to me as physically possible.

We spent the entire night making love once again, and by the time I woke up the next morning, I was terrified. So much had happened while he was gone, and a major part of me wanted to figure out a way to handle it all without telling him anything. I didn't want him to feel defensive or worry I was accusing him of anything. All I ever wanted to do was make him feel secure enough in our relationship that he felt he could come clean on his own, but that was no longer an option. My latest discover meant I absolutely needed him to tell me the truth, and we were running out of time…

"Good morning," I murmured as he began to stir.

"It certainly is," he replied with a lazy smile while caressing his hand up my bare back.

"I missed you," I told him softly.

"Ah, babe, you have no idea how much I missed you. Did you have a good visit with your family?"

"It was definitely memorable," I told him. "But what's important is how your visit with your mom went. Must have been a little awkward at first?" I asked, praying for some kind of hint that would prove he was actually where he said he was.

"Yeah, it was weird being back there," he said before quickly changing the subject. "Why don't you stay in bed, and I will bring you some breakfast," he said before kissing me quickly, and then getting dressed and retreating from the room.

As much as I would have loved to just lie back, relax, and pretend that I didn't have a life altering conversation I needed to have with him, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. We needed to hash it all out as soon as possible, so we could figure out what to do next.

So I got dressed, and joined him in the kitchen as he looked to be starting breakfast.

"Hey, why'd you get up?" he asked, surprised to see me walk into the room.

"I need to talk to you about something," I told him hesitantly.

"Okay, what's going on?" he asked distractedly as he cracked the eggs into the pan.

"Morning," Jasper said as he came into the kitchen.

"Good morning," I said with a mix of disappointment and relief. I certainly couldn't discuss everything in front of him.

Alice danced into the kitchen as well, so the four of us sat together and ate in a heavy silence; though, I was sure we all stayed quiet for different reasons.

As soon as we were done eating, Alice helped clear the table, and then Edward started in on the dishes.

"Here, you cooked, so let me," I said while reaching for the sponge.

"Nah, I'm happy to do it," he said, refusing to give it to me. "Trust me, it's definitely good to be home."

I stood there and watched him clean for a moment, and just for that moment, I tried to picture him with long bleached out hair, and a dirty beard covering hollow cheeks, and sunken eyes glossed over with some sort of narcotic haze. I had a pretty good imagination, but it was hard to connect that image to the beautiful, vibrant, healthy man I saw before me.

"James," I said, no louder than a whisper. I didn't plan to say it, but it just refused to stay contained and somehow snuck out of my lips.

Edward didn't stop cleaning. He didn't even pause for a second, so I wasn't sure if he didn't hear me, or if the name really didn't mean anything and didn't cue his reflexive response. I was praying for the latter. Perhaps it had all been a misunderstanding and he had nothing to do with James Anthony.

"I'm sorry, Bells, did you just say James?" Jasper asked me. I hadn't even realized he was still sitting there, but his question was definitely heard by Edward, so he stopped his dishes and turned back to me confused.

"Yeah… James," I said louder. Edward continued to look at me confused, but didn't seem to respond negatively in any other way, so I lost my nerve and tried to cover it up. "James - something," I told Jasper on a whim. "Remember? The other day I was trying to think of the name of the guy who sang that _'You're Beautiful_ ' song? It was James something."

"James… Blunt?" Jasper said confused, clearly not knowing what I was talking about since we never discussed any song. But because Jasper was so awesome, he picked up quickly enough and played along.

"James Blunt. That's right," I said, then tried to change the subject. "So, Jazz, are you still thinking about going into town today?"

"Uh…" Again, Jasper had to play along since it was never anything we had talked about ahead of time. "Yeah… to go… shopping?" he asked me confused. I nodded so he repeated himself more confidently. "Yes, I am going into town today to go shopping."

"Are you driving again?" Edward asked him surprised. "I can drive you if you need to get something," he offered.

"Uh, do I need him to drive me?" Jasper asked me perplexed.

"No. Jasper, you are so silly. You drove yourself into town on Friday. Remember?" I asked him, which was actually the truth. Jasper was finally cleared by his team of doctors to drive again, so he had eagerly regained that little bit of independence.

"Oh, well, that's awesome!" Edward told him enthusiastically. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks. Yeah, it was nice to get behind the wheel a little," Jasper replied.

"Hey Alice, wouldn't you like to go shopping with Jasper?" I asked her. "There's a lot of good deals right now. You can get a dent on your Christmas list."

"Um…" Jasper looked at me questionably, so I nodded some encouragement, but certainly didn't have to convince Alice. She was practically bouncing with anticipation.

"Please?" I whispered to him. "I promise, she will be fine," I added.

"Uh…O-Okay," he said nervously. "You ready to go, darling?" he asked Alice.

She smiled her widest grin, and nodded excitedly.

"Well, let's go then," Jasper said before shooting Edward and me a small wave, and then the two of them left.

"That was… interesting," Edward said after a minute. "So… let me guess, you just want to spend the day in bed, and didn't want to have to worry about the children?" he joked.

I smiled at him, because it was incredibly hard not to, but quickly fell serious again. I had no idea how long Jasper and Alice would be gone for, so I didn't want to waste any time.

"Edward… Who is James Anthony?" I asked bluntly. I was hanging onto a small ledge of hope that perhaps the man in the mug shot was just a relative who shared similar features, but the sudden blank look on Edward's face spoke volumes…

"Where did you hear that name?" he asked evenly.

"Can you just answer the question?" I asked anxiously.

He stared at me for another few beats, and then he sighed. "I guess, technically it's me… Or it was me, at one point."

I was completely stunned by his casual admission, in fact, I wasn't even sure I heard him right. "You're James Anthony?"

He stared at me for another moment, and then, he nodded. "James Anthony is a name I have gone by in the past."

"It's a name you've gone by in the past?" I repeated, mostly as a way to let it sink in. "What does that even mean?"

"What do you think it means?" he asked evenly.

"I don't know!" I cried out of pure stress and frustration. How could he hold on to the secrets of his past so tightly, and then just admit whatever I was accusing him of so easily? _What was I even accusing him of?_

"I think you do know," he countered. "Did Emmett tell you? I remember him mentioning something about having a buddy on the police force once during one of our phone calls." He shook his head ever so slightly. "You know, I knew this was going to happen. The moment I read about Laurent getting arrested last week, I knew somehow this would all get back to you," he said with a level of detached resolve and acceptance in his voice that I certainly wasn't expecting.

I swallowed hard. "So… Its all true then?"

"Is what true? My mile long rap sheet?"

A single tear spilled over my cheek, but I refused to allow another one escape. I didn't want to break down in that moment. We were finally getting somewhere, and I needed to stay focused.

"You promised me you never hurt anyone."

"Yeah, well when my step dad was beating my mom with a stick, and I stepped in to protect her, I got hit with an assault charge. She wasn't willing to press charges against him, but he was more than happy to press them against me. I was eighteen, so of course it's on my permanent record… Well, it's on James Anthony's permanent record. I didn't actually hurt anyone physically, that piece of shit doesn't count as a person, so I wasn't really lying when you asked me that."

I nodded absently. "And the other charges? Do you have excuses for them too? Or why you have been lying about your name?"

"I have no excuses for the other charges. I was homeless at sixteen…"

"You just said…"

He nodded. "I was homeless at sixteen, but after being busted for shoplifting, I was sent back home and forced to stay there for a couple of years."

"And then what?" I asked, hoping he'd continue with the truth - if he was even telling me the truth at all.

"And then what, what?" he asked with bitterness laced in his words. "I don't know what exactly you want me to tell you here. I'm sure you have a print out of some sort with all my past horrible deeds. I bet you even have one of my many mug shots. Which one is it? The one where I look like an emo goth? The shaved head? The drugged out surfer? The dirty hobo? … I've been arrested multiple times on multiple charges. You read the report, right? So what more do you want to know?"

"I want to know why. Why did you do all of that?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you would want to know why. I'm sure the daughter of a detective couldn't possibly fathom why anyone would commit any crimes for any reasons." He shook his head again. "I'm a high school drop out. Doing and selling drugs is what people from my old neighborhood did when they didn't know how else to support themselves. The rest of it just went along with it."

"But you're not doing drugs anymore?" I asked concerned.

"No. Look, there are two types of people that comes from neighborhoods like the one I grew up in. Either they fall victims to their own never-ending shit cycle of drugs and violence, or eventually they decide they've had enough and do whatever possible to get the hell away from that and start over somewhere else. I didn't want to end up a monster like my father, so I took off. Tried to do better."

"So… you just changed your name so you could get hired on jobs?" I assumed.

"Would you hire someone with a rap sheet like mine?" he deadpanned.

Reluctantly, I shook my head no. There was no way I would have ever given him the time of day knowing all the things he had done, had I not fallen in love with him first.

"Tell me about Laurent," I said nervously. Like I had told Emmett, I honestly didn't care about his past because it didn't dictate his future, all I needed to know was what his current plans were.

Edward shrugged. "What about him? He's just a guy I knew growing up."

"You said you knew I would find out about all of this as soon as you read about Laurent being arrested. Why?"

"Why? Because he had this crazy scheme to steal from the Cullens, and wanted me to go along with it," he admitted.

"So that's why you were doing work for Rose? So all that you just told me about wanting to do better, and starting over… it was all bullshit? You're still bullshitting me? Even now, you still can't be honest."

"I'm being as honest as I can be right now," he said, taking me aback.

"Oh, my god… You're still planning to go through with it? Is that really where you were these past few days? You didn't go visit your mother at all, did you?"

He stared at me again, but this time I actually saw all the light leave his eyes, and what was left was just nothing. Blank nothingness, as if he was able to turn off all his emotions like a light switch.

"I'm not working with him anymore. Victor Laurent is in jail," he said evenly.

"So, if he wasn't, you'd still be plotting to steal from my family with him?" I asked in surreal disbelief.

He blinked, and then looked away from me. "No, Bella, I wouldn't do that to you. Coming here wasn't even really about any of that anyway. I may have used it as an excuse in my own mind, but it was never all that important to me. I honestly haven't spoken to Laurent since I worked on Rosalie's bathroom."

"So, you were planning on robbing her?" I questioned.

"Robbing? Like sticking a gun in her face and telling her to give me all her cash? No. Never been a fan of robbing."

"Whatever you want to call it!" I said, frustrated that he thought it was okay to joke at a time like that.

He sighed. "I haven't done anything illegal in a while. Pretty much since I was in jail last. I really was trying to do a legitimate handyman business. I'm good at that stuff…. But I guess when I ran into Laurent, I thought I could… do one last thing, and… finally be set."

"So… Where were you these past few days? Did you really go visit your mom?"

"No," he admitted.

I nodded. Fully expecting that answer at that point. "You were going to meet Laurent to tell him the plan is off," I concluded.

"The plan was off since I met Rose," he clarified. "I already told you, I didn't come here for that."

"Then why did you come here?" I asked frustrated.

"To help you fix up the ranch," he said, without a trace of humor.

"Why? Because you thought it sounded fun?" I asked bitterly.

Once again he just stared at me blankly, and I automatically knew he was done talking, which only pissed me off.

"So, that's it? Conversation is just over?"

"I don't know what else there is to say," he said, sounding completely dead. "You're never going to be fully satisfied with anything I tell you, because I'm never going to tell you everything."

"Why?" I cried out. "What aren't you telling me that could possibly be worse than all of this? Worse than you planning to steal from my family?"

He pressed his lips and shook his head. "You have no idea. Things can always be worse," he said darkly.

"Why won't you just let me in?" I asked emotionally.

"You want to be let in to my deepest darkest secrets? Bella, I assure you, that is the last thing you want. I don't even…. I don't even know how to let someone in."

"I can help you," I tried assuring him.

"No. You don't get it. You're not even capable of getting it," he said before turning away from me and heading up the stairs.

Of course, I followed. "Edward," I called after him, but then I realized my mistake. "James…"

Suddenly he stopped and turned back to me. "Don't call me that!" he said in a warning tone.

"Its your name," I argued.

Once again he just shook his head at me, and then turned back to continue to our bedroom, where he immediately began grabbing the few things he had in there.

"What are you doing?" I asked, feeling like I was going to be sick.

"What does it look like? I'm getting my crap so I can leave you alone."

"No, you're not!" I said strongly, while grabbing his clothes out of his arms, and throwing them across the room. "You don't get to just run away from this."

"I haven't done anything illegal since I was arrested last. Nothing was stolen from the Cullens, so Laurent's confession to the police about me means nothing. It's not running when no one is chasing me."

"I have no intention of calling the police on you. Even if there were current warrants out for your arrest, I still wouldn't."

"Then what the hell are you telling me I can't leave for?"

"Why are you so ready to leave?" I countered. "You said you loved me. Was that a lie too?"

His entire demeanor softened from my words. "No," he murmured. "I do love you. That's why I'm leaving. I've fucked things up for you enough as it is. I'm actually shocked Emmett isn't here throwing his fist into my face."

"He doesn't know you're back yet. I told him you'd be gone for two weeks."

"Great," he said quietly, and then started grabbing the last remaining items from under the bed.

"Edward, please don't leave me," I whispered, with a new round of tears streaming down my face. I had fought them off so long, but I guess I just wasn't strong enough.

"Why… Why are you asking me to stay when I lied to you so much?" he asked confused.

"I love you. I told you that wouldn't change, and it hasn't. But I need your help, because I don't know what to do from here. Emmett said you can't stay, but… I can't stay here without you either. You belong here with me. It would never feel the same without you."

"I can't fix it. I can't change my past. Trust me, I wish I could, but…" he shook his head.

"Do you love me?" I asked him one last time. He said he did, but I just needed to hear him say it again.

"Of course I love you," he said like it was the easiest thing in the world. "How could anyone not?"

I swallowed hard. "Emmett said you had to leave, or I couldn't stay and run my business here anymore… So I contacted the people who trained the horses, and they said they'd be willing to buy them back…"

"Buy them back?" he asked incredulously. "Bella, I'm not going to let you give up your dream for me."

"I love you more than anything… and I was willing to give up everything for you…"

"Nobody… Nobody has ever cared that much about me before," he said absently. "But… I can't let you do that."

"You didn't let me finish," I told him. "I said I was going to sell the horses back, so we could have some money to live off of to get ourselves started until we found some work… but, I don't think that's an option anymore."

"Okay… So… let me leave then," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry for putting you in this position. I've screwed up so many times, but… I never wanted you to suffer because of me. I thought… I don't know what I thought. It was dumb. I should have known it was only a matter of time."

I shook my head. "I don't think leaving is an option for me anymore, but it's not for you either. I need you to stay, and we need to figure out a way to do it together."

"There's no way Emmett will allow it. He will tell his dad, and because they still have the deed…"

"Why don't you want me calling you James?" I asked, cutting him off and changing the direction of the conversation.

He shook his head. "Because… that's not my name. It's the name I was given, but it's not me. I wish I could explain it better to you, but… I can't."

"Okay…. Edward, we can't leave here, because this is where I want to raise our baby. So we are just going to have to figure out a way. Come up with some kind of plan, or even a con to convince Emmett to leave us alone. I don't care how, just figure it out because I'm really fucking terrified right now, and I need you to fix it," I told him in a rush as I fought off more tears.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, clearly in shock. "Wha-how? You said you were on birth control? I used condoms… most of the time. I don't understand. "

I shrugged. "I may have missed a few days. I don't know how or when, but my pills were definitely off track. I can't explain how it happened, but it did, so now…"

"Bella, you can't… We can't have a baby. The blood, it…." He let his words trail off as he proceeded to just stare off into space.

"Edward… What is wrong with your blood?" I asked as strongly as I was capable of in that moment. "I'm pregnant with your child. I deserve to know the truth!"

He wouldn't look at me, he just continued to stare in a stupefied daze.

"We don't have time for this," I tried reaching him. "Emmett is going to make us leave if we don't figure something else out."

"Please get an abortion," he whispered evenly. "Before it's too late, just… Please."

"You said you don't have any diseases. Was that a lie?" I asked, more concerned than ever before.

"No… I'm not sick… I don't have any diseases, but… this shouldn't have happened. I thought we were being careful enough. This world can't take another one of us…"

"Edward, what are you talking about?" I cried out.

Of course, because the situation was so screwed up, that was the moment Jasper and Alice arrived back home. I looked back at Edward, but his hollow gaze made it clear he wasn't going to tell me anything more. I was terrified by his strange words, and angry by his silence, but I couldn't focus on it at the moment, not with Alice and Jasper home. So I left Edward there alone, and went back down stairs to greet them.

"Hey, you guys weren't gone very long," I said, looking at the clock and realizing it had only been a little over an hour since they left.

"Alice changed her mind about shopping," Jasper said apologetically.

"Did she speak to you?" I asked him surprised.

"She said 'horses'. Shocked me enough to do pretty much whatever she wanted. Sorry if we're too early for whatever you wanted to do. Is everything okay?"

I forced out a smile, and nodded. "It will be. Somehow, it'll be okay." I said, still praying for some kind of solution.

The three of us went about the rest of our day as normally as possible, and I was relieved when Edward eventually came down and continued with whatever project he had been working on prior to his mystery trip. He didn't say anything, he just started moving about the property as if nothing had changed. I didn't understand it, but I suppose like Edward had said earlier, it could always be worse.

That evening Edward made dinner like normal, but that quiet tension was still there, and no one really spoke for the entire meal. Afterwards, Edward went to the area we kept our bills, and without a word, he spread them out on the kitchen table, and started going through them.

"I don't think we're going to find a solution for our problem in there," I told him quietly.

"I don't know how to fix this for you," he said emotionlessly. "Maybe if I call Emmett… or go out to the city and talk to him in person. I don't know, try to convince him that I'm not going to steal from them… Lie my way out of it somehow. Make him think I have some kind of evil twin out there, or something. I could claim they were all false charges."

"I don't think he will believe any of that," I murmured hopelessly. I really thought perhaps his past conning could help us on the matter, but he was clearly at a loss. Then again, perhaps a con was exactly what we needed after all…

"I may have just had an idea," I told him hesitantly.

"What?" he asked curiously.

We spent half the night discussing my plan, and didn't stop until we were so tired that thinking straight was impossible. I went to bed, and wasn't surprised when Edward didn't follow me. He never came that night at all, and when I woke up alone early the next morning, I worried perhaps he had left while I was sleeping.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. I found him slumped over in the same chair I had last seen him in, and he was snoring gently.

"He's still sleeping," a little voice said, so I turned and noticed Alice there, sitting quietly in the corner.

"Hey, you're up early," I told her, becoming even more determined to save the ranch than even before. Alice had come so far, I'd hate to make her leave at that point, so I needed my plan to work.

"I didn't want to leave him out here alone," she said, ever so quietly. It was the most I had ever heard her speak at a time, and I nearly had to pick my jaw up off the floor.

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it if he knew you were out here with him," I told her softly.

We were being quiet enough, but Edward stirred regardless.

"Good morning," I told him.

"Is it really morning?" he asked groggily.

"Yep. And I've decided to go see Carlisle today. I found the paperwork I'd need online, and printed it out."

"I really don't know if it's going to work," Edward said hesitantly.

I shrugged. "It's the only idea we have. If I get there around lunch time the hospital will be at the busiest. He may be distracted just enough for it to work."

"I'm sorry you have to do this, Bella. I know you hate lying…. Especially to any of them."

"I do… but if there's a possibility of saving my home and business, I'm willing to take it."

"You do realize that it's not going to change Em's mind though, right? It may make it so you can keep this place, but it will ruin your relationship with him."

I shook my head. "Its already ruined. He didn't have to threaten me like that, no matter the reason. I don't know how we could ever recover anyway."

"Yeah, but you know he's going to talk to his parents too. They're going to be really angry when they find out about all of this. You really ready to lose your family for me?" he asked skeptically. "I'm not worth it, you know."

"I would only lose my family if _you_ left," I said, getting choked up again. I loved the Cullens, and I didn't want to lose them or betray their trust, but my priorities were to Edward and our baby first, and I would do anything necessary to keep them secure.

In order to be there by the lunch time rush, I left the ranch early and headed for the city. As predicted, Carlisle was busy, and I used his distraction to my benefit.

"Hey, sweetheart, this is a surprise," Carlisle said to me as he walked into his office.

"Yeah, sorry for not calling first," I said as calmly as possible.

"Well, is there something I can help you with?" he asked curiously.

"I hope so. This is going to sound really strange, but…" I paused when Carlisle had to check his phone.

"I'm sorry, please continue," he said, clearly still preoccupied.

"Okay, well, I guess in order for me to properly insure the horses and the patients for my business, I need to be on the deed to the property."

Carlisle looked up, and narrowed his eyes at me. "Really? I never heard that before. Is it one of those new laws that's going into effect this coming year?" he asked confused.

I forced out a smile, and then nodded. "Yeah, I heard its some big convoluted mess. But my business attorney said if its possible for you to sign the property over to me, it could save so many steps and loops I'd have to jump through with the way it is currently. I'd like to start making payments to you so I can actually purchase it, but until then it would help me out a ton to do it this way."

I was sure Carlisle only heard about fifteen percent of what I was telling him, since he kept checking his phone, but that was exactly what I was hoping for since I didn't really know what I was even talking about.

"That sounds horrible," he said after a moment. "Look, honey, I'm really sorry, but I'm very busy today. I'll tell you what, I'll contact my lawyer and tell him to draw up whatever paperwork you need. Just give him a call…"

"Actually, I already have the paperwork here. I just need you to sign it… I've asked the notary here to come sign as well," I said in a rush, hoping he didn't have time to overthink any of it.

I handed Carlisle the deed paperwork I had brought so he could glance over it, and then I brought in the notary the hospital had on staff.

Carlisle didn't have any reason not to trust me, so he signed the papers, and after it was notarized, he hugged me goodbye, and then hurried back to work.

I couldn't believe it actually worked. I had the deed to my property signed over to me, thus making my home and business officially and completely mine. I felt absolutely horrible for doing it that way, but I honestly didn't see any other choice.

It was such a bittersweet moment. I had made it so Emmett couldn't have us removed from the property, but would it really end up causing all of the Cullens to hate me? What would it mean for Alice? It was all too much to think about while driving, so I cranked up the music, and tried to keep my mind off of it until I was in a safer location to let it all sink in.

I made excellent time and got home before dinner, and wasn't surprised to see Jasper's car gone. He was probably off enjoying his independence again, and I certainly didn't blame him. What did surprise me, however, was that the house seemed to be empty.

"Hello?" I called out.

Edward's car was still in the driveway, so they either all left in Jasper's car together, or Alice and Edward were still on the property somewhere.

It was close to dark, so I didn't think they were out doing chores, but the house didn't have any lights on, the TV's were off, and the bathroom was vacant.

"Where is everyone?" I asked myself. It was strange, and suddenly I had a painful sinking feeling deep inside my gut. Something was very wrong.

It was too early for bed, and Alice pretty much always refused to go to her room for any other reason besides sleep, so I really didn't think they'd be upstairs, however not knowing where else to look, I headed up. I checked our room first, and it was also dark and empty, but then I looked towards Alice's room and saw a dim light coming from under the door.

My stomach twisted.

I had no clue as to what could possibly be happening in her room, but not even my darkest nightmares could prepare me for what I found once I opened her door…


	12. Monsters

_*****A/N:** Warning! As stated before the first chapter, this story talks about child abuse and rape. If this is at all sensitive or triggering for you, please stop reading now!_

 _** Here we go. Deep breath now…_

 _._

 **Chapter 12 – Monsters**

Being raised the way that I had, I knew damn well that monsters really existed. I was taught since birth to be vigilant and cautious of everyone, but not even my worst nightmares could prepare me for what I walked into that evening…

It took a moment for the scene to fully process in my mind...

Surely I had to have been seeing it wrong. Surely I was stuck in some demented upside down hell world where nightmares masqueraded as reality. Surely I had to have somehow ingested some kind of hallucinogen, because there was no way in hell Edward was actually sitting on Alice's bed, with his hand up her shirt…

"Oh my god!" I gasped.

Edward and Alice both looked up at me startled, and then everything was a blur as I was hit was a severe case of fight or flight. I didn't have time to think, I just reacted reflexively, and I reacted in a way I had never experienced before - by attacking him.

My only thought was that I needed to protect Alice from the monster in her room, and I just started lashing out and throwing punches. I fought with everything I had inside me, and then I found a way to fight some more… I only wished I was strong enough to do any real damage.

When the ferocious, adrenaline-fueled, blind rage I was consumed by wasn't doing enough damage to the disgusting perpetrator due to my lack of fighting skills, I was reduced to screaming, and suddenly we were all screaming. I was screaming enraged profanities at that monster for assaulting an innocent child like Alice, and Edward was screaming at me to calm down, and Alice was just screaming. In fact, Alice screamed so loud that somehow she even managed to drown out Edward and me combined.

The screaming continued until Alice became physical herself, by throwing her body onto the floor. Then she started banging her head on the foot rail of the bed, over and over again.

As much as I wanted to shred that bastard into pieces, my main concern was Alice, and she was going to cause some serious damage to herself if she continued. So I abruptly stopped screaming, and attempted to restrain her from further hurting herself. Of course, Edward used my distraction as an opportunity to escape the room, which didn't surprise me. He was nothing but a coward after all.

Alice must have thrashed around and screamed for a good hour before she was calm enough for me to let her go. And then she proceeded to just cry quietly and beg me for her teddy bear, just like she had done when she was first rescued all those years ago.

"Its okay. I'm so, so sorry," I kept cooing. We had learned way back then that she wasn't crying for just any stuffed animal, she wanted a specific one, one she must have left at her captor's home, because it was something her parents were never able to replace. She had cried for that toy for months - even years after she was rescued, until eventually her cries stopped altogether, and they were replaced by the blood curdling screams we had all eventually became accustomed to. Hearing her crying for that bear again, after all that time, just made me that much more angry.

I had no idea how much time passed, but Alice had somehow managed to cry herself to sleep, so I put a blanket on her, and then went to call the police.

None of Edward's past crimes were enough to send him back to jail, but molesting an emotionally unstable woman certainly was, and there was no way in hell I'd allow him to get away with it. There were some things no one could forgive, and he certainly went well beyond that in the worst way possible.

There were no feelings of sorrow or loss for the man I loved as I made my way down the stairs. All I felt was rage. Rage and numbness… I wasn't even capable of feeling anything else in those bitterly surreal moments.

When I finally reached the phone in the kitchen, however, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Edward, calmly sitting at the kitchen table. I had no idea where I expected him to be, but sitting there like that certainly wasn't it.

"Don't call the police," he said quietly. "Please, Bella. Please, just don't call them. I can't go back there."

"Yeah, well maybe you should have thought about that before you molested Alice!" I snapped at him.

"I wasn't molesting Alice," he mumbled, almost inaudibly.

"Oh really? I saw you with my own eyes!"

"You have no idea what you saw," he countered.

"Why are you even still here?" I asked incredulously. "You wanted to run away when I discovered you lied about your name, but here you are… still sitting here after assaulting my sister."

"Alice is not your sister!" he said, surprisingly intense.

"Oh really, that's what you're choosing to focus on? The logistics of my and Alice's relationship?" I shook my head. "I don't even know why I'm standing here talking to you right now. You deserve to be in jail. What kind of monster are you? I mean really. You know the hell she's been through, and you still thought it was just okay to… assault her like that?"

"I didn't assault her," he said, raising his voice just a little louder so I could hear him clearly. "That's not what that was."

"I trusted you," I continued, choosing to ignore his pathetic attempts at defending himself. "She trusted you. How could you do something like that?"

"I didn't assault her," he repeated, except it was much quieter this time, almost like he was saying it to himself. Trying to convince himself he wasn't the monster that I had just discovered him to be.

"How can you say you didn't assault her?" I exploded at him. "I saw what you did. You can't fool me or yourself into thinking it was actually something she wanted. She's not even capable of consenting to something like that. You have no idea the things she's been through. Do you realize that she hasn't cried for that bear in decades. Decades! You have completely washed away any progress she has ever made since getting rescued."

Edward shook his head subtly, and I was surprised to see a tear fall over his cheek, which he quickly wiped away. "I never meant… The fear of messing up her life is why I didn't come sooner. I never wanted to be the reason for her to regress. Carlisle said I would. He said my face would scare her… I didn't believe him, and I was so… angry at him for not letting me see her."

"Carlisle?" I questioned confused. I was so very confused by everything he was saying, but Carlisle's name was just about the only thing I could grasp.

Edward shook his head again. "I guess I should have listened to him."

"I don't understand what you're saying," I told him.

Edward wiped the moisture from his face again, and looked up at me from where he was still sitting at the table.

"You hate me now, right?"

My chest tightened, and I felt like the world was spinning and I couldn't find my footing. "You hurt Alice," I said absently, still trying to make sense of everything I saw and everything he was not really saying. "I'd hate anyone who hurt her."

He closed his eyes tightly, and then dropped his head to his hands. "I'm sorry," I could vaguely hear him say since his hands were now covering his face.

"You're sorry?" I scoffed. "That's it? That's supposed to make everything okay?"

"Things will never be okay," he said before removing his hands from his face, but he still wouldn't look at me. "My life… isn't okay. I shouldn't … I shouldn't exist. Carlisle was so certain I'd end up just like my father… He said it was in the blood, and I didn't want to believe him, but… I guess I did deep down. For a while… for a while I did become the monster he feared. I never hurt anyone physically, but I hurt people in other ways like stealing, and breaking the law whenever I could, and just … being mean. He wouldn't give me a chance, so… I did so much shit that I knew was wrong. I don't know, maybe... maybe I was hoping he'd see it. Somehow see me… It was stupid, and I knew it was. Maybe I agreed to help Laurent try to steal from Carlisle because I was just so angry. I was like a sulking bitter child, and I blamed him for all my problems… but, he didn't cause this. This is all me… and I can't escape it, because he was right all along. The darkness… it comes from inside."

"Edward, I don't know what you're talking about," I told him, desperate for understanding, and frustrated that he only seemed to be talking in circles.

He looked to be closing himself off again, but before I could cry out for more answers, he swallowed roughly, and then finally looked at me.

"I never wanted you to know the truth. I didn't want anyone to know, because I knew there would be no going back. I could never again… pretend to be a good person after that. You'd see me for what I really am… You'd see the evil in my blood."

I shook my head at him, still at a loss as to what he was trying to tell me, but the undeniable endless pain I saw in his eyes ripped me to shreds. I had never seen hurt like that before, and I prayed to god I'd never see it again - on him or anyone else.

He took a deep breath, and then began to explain. "Alice… she was upset. I hardly saw her today. She kept her distance… she must have overheard some of our conversation last night, because she was definitely abnormally upset. Jasper said he was going into town and wouldn't be home for dinner, and I wasn't sure what time you'd be home, so I was just going to make something small for Alice because I didn't feel like eating. All of this… me causing you to have to lie to your family… it really makes me sick, Bella. I swear, I never wanted to hurt you like that."

"Just tell me what happened," I insisted, not needing an apology right that moment. I only needed the truth, and I knew he was finally ready to give it to me.

"I was looking in the pantry for something to make her, when I heard her crying. She hasn't had a meltdown in so long, it worried me. So I followed her cries upstairs to her room, and asked her what was wrong. She grabbed my arm, and pulled me to her bed, and put my hand on her stomach and told me everything was going to be okay."

"She put your hand under her shirt?" I asked skeptically. I had never known Alice to do anything even close to that before with anyone, and I simply couldn't imagine it.

"It's… It's what she always made me do," he said quietly, taking me aback.

"Always? How long has this been going on for?"

"Twenty four years," he said plainly, without an ounce of humor or sarcasm.

"I don't understand," I said with a fresh round of tears, and a strong case of denial. I suddenly knew exactly what he was trying to tell me. All the clues had been there, but I still just couldn't believe it.

"Alice… never had a stuffed animal when she was captive," he told me hesitantly. "That's what she called me. Teddy. That was my name until I was around five years old when we were separated."

"Oh my god," I cried, and it was my turn to cover my face. I didn't expect him to really say anymore, but he was finally ready to talk, so I was damn well going to listen. I sunk to the chair opposite of him, because I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to stand through it, and then I just waited for him to finally fully open up to me, and thankfully, he did….

"Whenever she was scared, or upset," he continued. "I guess she would assume I was too, so she'd take my hand, and put it on her stomach, and tell me that I came from there, and she would keep me safe."

He paused as he was clearly taken over by the painful memory, and then he swallowed hard again, and continued.

"I was born… in that basement," he said, making me feel like all the pain in the entire universe was suddenly in that kitchen as he spoke. "I never knew there was more to the world than what was inside that basement. I never even saw the sky before. I never saw another human being other than Alice. She would… she would make me hide when that monster would come for her. He knew I existed, but he didn't care about me, he just came for her. I heard him talking a few times, but I never saw his face. Have you ever seen a picture of his face?" he asked me unexpectedly. "Do I look like him?"

I actually had seen pictures of that monster on TV before several times - since our local news felt the need to report about it anytime he was back in court, or even just moved from his damn jail cell. I knew what he looked like, and I could honestly say Edward didn't look anything like him. But in seeing Edward with new eyes, I was finally able to make out why he looked so familiar to Jasper and me… he looked like Alice, and I had no idea how I missed it for so long, or how the other Cullens never noticed it when they met him.

"You don't look like him," I said emotionally, hoping he'd actually believe me and take a little comfort in it.

Edward nodded absently, and then he was ready to tell me more.

"When I was around five, or so… people came barging into the basement. I just remember being so scared, and Alice grabbed me… and she held on to me so tightly… but I guess it wasn't tight enough. I was put into a car… and she was put into a different one… and that was the last time I saw her before coming here."

"You must have been terrified," I said, unable to speak louder then a whisper.

He nodded. "Imagine what it would be like to be abducted by aliens, and times that by a thousand, and it still wouldn't come close to how scared I was. I had never seen people. I never saw a car, or trees, or… anything."

"They never said why you couldn't stay with Alice?" I asked as gently as possible.

"No… I didn't get that answer until much later. At the time, nobody told me anything. I was scared to talk to anyone, and I had a limited vocabulary anyway, since all I knew was what Alice had remembered from before she was taken as a kid. But I do remember finally telling a woman there that my name was Teddy. She was… nice, and kind… and she told me it was a good name, but it was a nickname so I needed something more formal. She ended up calling me Edward. Looking back on it, I have no idea why she picked Edward instead of Theodore, but… that was my name, and I liked it."

"So… where did 'James' come from?" I asked hesitantly.

"It wasn't long before I was adopted. Apparently this couple had been waiting for a boy around my age for a while. They renamed me James, gave me their last name… but, I don't think they were prepared for all the issues and… baggage that came with me. I don't remember doing anything really wrong. I just.. didn't talk much, I didn't have any interest in playing catch with the man like he had wanted in a son. I couldn't connect to them because I simply didn't know how. I do remember overhearing their phone call back to the social worker about me though. They said I was broken. Then they yelled into the receiver about how angry they were that they weren't told sooner about where I came from. I was taken from their house the next day, and placed in one shitty foster home after another."

"So… all that about you hitting your dad when you were eighteen?"

"No, that was true. Everything I told you about all the shit I did was true. Well… he obviously wasn't my biological father. I was finally adopted again when I was fourteen by the Anthony family. Of course, they didn't adopt a troubled teenager out of the kindness of their heart. They were looking for government assistance, and purposely took in kids with special needs so they couldn't really talk about the despicable ,living condition they had. It was horrible, so I ran away, and was homeless for more than a year."

"Why couldn't you tell me any of this before?" I asked, devastated that he actually thought anything he was saying was unforgivable. He never hurt Alice. I had jumped to the wrong conclusion, and ended up upsetting all three of us. I had never felt worse about anything in my life, and that feeling only doubled when I noticed the bruises beginning to form on his face, and the small cut under his eye from where I had attacked him. I honestly felt like I was going to be sick.

"Why didn't I tell you all this?" he asked incredulously. "Bella, I only exist because a monster raped a little girl. She's only twelve years older than me. It's disgusting. His evil blood is running through me, and now it's running through you too," he said while gesturing to my stomach.

"So… that's why you keep trying to squeeze the blood out when you get a cut?" I asked, just trying to understand everything.

"I hate it! It grosses me out, and I just get in this… I don't know, absent daze when I see it, and I keep thinking I need to get it out of me… I obviously can't, and I know that when I'm thinking clearly, but when I'm freaking out like that, I can't think logically. I just want to get as much of it out as I can… as if it's poisoning me, or something. It doesn't always happen when I see my blood, but… I guess when I'm anxious… I don't know. Being around Alice makes it worse. It's hard to think around it when she's right there, reminding me of what a disgusting freak I really am. And now, with you being pregnant…. Bella, you shouldn't be pregnant. I shouldn't have been so reckless. I shouldn't even exist to have gotten you pregnant. It was so stupid. I knew I didn't deserve to be happy with you. I knew I should have left a long time ago. I just… I never had anyone care about me like you did. I never knew what it was like to… not be angry. But it was too close. I knew you were close with the Cullens. It was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down. I knew all of this, but I still didn't leave, because I'm a selfish prick."

"No, you're not," I said as strongly as possible with how emotional I was. "What happened to Alice, doesn't dictate who you are."

He clearly didn't agree, so he shook his head.

"Edward… You said something about Carlisle telling you... something. When did you talk to him? Did they even know about you? Maybe the social workers took you away without them even knowing," I said, having a hard time picturing the Cullens turning their back on him.

"I had no idea where I came from until I turned eighteen, and my records were released to me. I remembered Alice, but I didn't fully understand the nature of our relationship until I read about it. I couldn't… grasp that I was the result of… When I found out she was my mother, I just wanted to see her. I saw she was a Cullen, so I did some research and easily found the story of her kidnapping online… Of course, there was no mention of me anywhere. Come to find out, Carlisle had my existence pretty much wiped out. He obviously didn't want anyone to know about me."

"I can't believe that," I said in denial. That certainly didn't sound like the man I knew and respected.

"I just wanted to see if she was okay," Edward said again. "So I wrote her a letter, and sent it to the only Cullen address I could find online. It was at the hospital Carlisle worked for… I waited and waited for some kind of response from her. I didn't know what kind of state she was in. I didn't know she couldn't really respond… But I did get a letter back, only it was from Carlisle."

"What did it say?" I asked, completely shocked that Carlisle would keep something like that from Emmett and me. I couldn't help but wonder if Esme even knew.

Edward shrugged. "It was basically everything I already knew. That I was pretty much the seed of Satan, and I would only hurt Alice so they wanted nothing to do with me."

"No," I gasped.

"But it is true… that's exactly what I am. At first I didn't really blame him for not wanting me around, because I understood it. He didn't want Alice to see me and have to be reminded…. But, I guess it did make me angry after a while. When Carlisle ran for the government position, I would see him on the news and I'd just… get so angry. I'd be committing some stupid petty crime just to get by, and there was dear old grandpa, in all his fucking rich glory, waving a flag and spewing bullshit about making the world a better place. Using Alice's ordeal as a platform for change. As if he was somehow going to remove all the monsters from the planet just because his daughter survived a vicious kidnapping."

"So… you and Laurent were going to steal from Carlisle as… payback?" I asked, just trying to clear everything in my own mind.

"I just wanted to hurt him somehow," he admitted. "Like I already told you, it was stupid and immature of me, and after meeting Rose and realizing there were a lot more people I'd end up hurting than just Carlisle if I went through with it, I put a stop to it. Laurent was pissed, but I didn't really care. When Rose called me to come out here, and she told me a little about what you had planned for this property, I thought…"

"You thought you may get a chance to see Alice," I finally understood.

"I honestly didn't think she'd know me. I didn't want to scare her or cause her to have bad memories from what that monster did to her, but…"

"She did recognize you," I said, realizing that was why she took to him so easily.

He nodded. "I told her we needed to keep it a secret between us, otherwise I'd have to leave. But I didn't know how much all the Cullens knew, so I was worried they'd somehow recognize me…. And when they didn't, I relaxed a bit."

"But you think Carlisle would recognize you?" I assumed. "Is that why you left before Thanksgiving?"

"I knew it was only a matter of time, but… I was in love with you, and I didn't want to leave, so… I just wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. I figured Emmett and Esme didn't know me, so all I needed to do was avoid Carlisle."

"So you didn't leave to try to meet with Laurent? Where did you go, then?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really go anywhere. I drove to the next town over and basically lived out of my car for three days."

"Oh, Edward," I breathed sorrowfully.

"Don't," he said abruptly. "Don't feel sorry for me. I don't want your sympathies, I just want you to understand…. I don't want you to ever think that I'd hurt anyone the way… the way that bastard hurt Alice. You can hate me for everything else. You can make me leave and tell me to never come back. I just… I can't stand the thought of you thinking I'd assault someone like that."

"Edward, I'm so sorry I reacted that way," I told him with the utmost of sincerity. "I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and I reacted terribly. You didn't deserve that, and I'm so sorry."

"Bella, stop. You didn't do anything wrong. I can only imagine how bad that looked, and given her history…. I appreciate you trying to protect her like that."

I shook my head and started crying again. Edward had basically been tossed aside by everyone who was supposed to love him, and I almost did the same thing to him. I promised to love him unconditionally, but instead of waiting for an explanation on something I didn't understand, I lashed out at him. I couldn't believe I actually did that, and I wouldn't blame him one bit if he couldn't forgive me.

"Bella, please," he murmured. "I don't want to be the cause of your pain anymore. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I'm not crying because you hurt me. I'm crying because I hurt you, and I'm crying because everyone has been hurting you since you were born. It's all you know, isn't it? Pain and loneliness… No wonder you could never trust me."

"What?" he asked confused. "I don't not trust you."

"Yes, you do. You probably never really trusted anyone… except maybe Alice."

He shook his head in denial, but the pain in his eyes only confirmed what I was saying.

"The first couple that adopted you was supposed to love you," I told him intensely. "The other families who took you in were supposed to love you. The Cullens are your flesh and blood, and they were supposed to love you. They all failed you, Edward, but that doesn't mean the problem is with you. I failed you too, and I am so sorry, but I promise you, I will never fail at loving you again."

Edward shook his head again, but this time he couldn't hold in the tears. He clearly didn't want me to see him cry, so he quickly turned away from me, so I responded by getting up, walking around the table, and sitting on his lap so I could hug his head and kiss his hair.

He had come into the world broken, but I was going to do everything in my power to finally make him whole. I knew it would take time, but I was confident that with enough love, eventually all his pieces would fit. I would make sure of it...


	13. Distance

**Chapter 13 – Distance**

I wanted to hold Edward until he could no longer feel any pain, but I knew that wasn't really possible. There would always be pain… and I would always be there to love him through it.

Eventually we did make our way up to bed, and we just continued to hold each other for the entire night. As Edward slept, however, I would keep waking up periodically, and I'd find myself just staring at him, completely lost in his pain, and lost in my own grief for the profound loneliness I knew he had existed in for his entire life.

It made me so incredibly sad, but it also made me angry. I wanted to race out of that house and find every last person who had ever hurt him, and I wanted to make them feel his pain. Even if only for a moment, I wanted them to fully understand the damage they did to his beautiful soul. But I stayed right where I was, because above all else, I knew the best way to help him, was just to always be there for him.

It felt like I had finally fallen asleep again, when suddenly I was awoken to the old familiar sound of my childhood - the sound of Alice's desperate cries for her Teddy, except this time, I finally knew how to help her...

"Edward," I whispered, while nudging him gently. "Hey. Baby, wake up."

"Huh? What's wrong?" he asked groggily, but I didn't have to explain, since he immediately heard the issue. He rolled right out of bed, and went straight to Alice's room. I felt weird about following him because I certainly didn't want to intrude, but I needed to make sure she was okay, so I went.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. Shhh," he told her while wrapping his arms around her gently.

It took her a moment to calm down, but then she pulled out of his arms and placed her hands on his face. "You're okay," she said quietly. It wasn't a question, it was more like she was trying to reassure him.

He put his hands over hers on his face, and then he nodded. "Yeah, I'm ok."

She nodded back at him, and more tears spilled over her cheeks as she pulled him back into her tightly, and then proceeded to rock back and forth as she held him.

It had to be one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful exchanges I had ever seen, and I was devoured by tears of my own.

All that time, for so many long years, all she had ever needed was him. It was an embrace that was almost twenty years in the making, and I didn't have a doubt that it was the key to finally letting her move forward with her life.

Before long, Alice's cries morphed into humming, as she clearly wanted nothing more than to comfort him in a way only a mother could. It didn't matter that he was a grown man, he would always be her child, and the two of them shared a bond like no other. They had relied on each other for survival. They had literally been each other's entire world, and seeing them together in that way only proved how wrong Carlisle was for ever separating them.

After a few more minutes, I turned to leave so they could have a little time to themselves, but that was when Alice noticed me there.

"Bella…. Please don't make Teddy leave," she said, completely astounding me by her vocalizations, but at the same time, devastating me by her words. I had never heard her speak so clearly before, and the sadness in her voice was heartbreaking.

I absolutely hated that I made her feel like I was no better than her parents by forcing them apart, so I needed her to know that wasn't the case.

"Alice… I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did last night. I was confused, and I didn't understand what was happening… But, I promise you, I won't ever make him leave here."

"My parents are going to make me leave," she said quietly. "They wouldn't let me keep him before."

I nodded. "I know.. But I'm going to figure out a way for you to stay here with him, okay? Somehow, we will make it work."

Alice shook her head. "If they know, they'll make me leave. We have to keep it a secret."

"Did they ever tell you why?" I asked, curious for answers, but wanting to keep her talking even more.

She shook her head no. "I heard my dad say…"

"What?" I urged gently when she let her words trail off. "It's ok. You can tell me," I tried assuring her.

"He said on the phone to someone once that Marcus Aro was pure evil… but, he let me keep Teddy. He let me keep him, and he'd bring us Pop Tarts and peanut butter…" She shook her head. "My dad took Teddy from me. He's the evil one. I just wanted to go back to Aro… I wanted to stay there so I could keep Teddy."

"Oh Alice," I said with a heavy sigh. Just when I didn't think it could get any more heartbreaking, she says that. I began to wonder if there was even a bottom to her pit of pain, or if it just went on forever.

I glanced up at Edward, and I could feel the tension radiating off of him from Alice's words. I could only imagine how it made him feel to hear her say that, and I imagined it wasn't good. To Edward, there wasn't a greater evil than the monster who fathered him, and for Alice to say she was happier with him must have been tough. Of course, what I heard from her words was that she loved Edward more than anything in the world, and she would rather be tortured everyday than to ever be without him. If only Edward would truly understand the gravity of that truth, perhaps he'd realize just how much his life really was worth.

After a few more minutes, I headed downstairs and started on breakfast. It had been an extremely emotional couple of days, and a part of me just wanted to get back to some sort of normal routine.

Actually, what I really wanted to do was to pick up the phone and call all the Cullens over and tell them everything. I wanted Rose and Emmett to discover they actually had a nephew, and I wanted to unload on Carlisle and Esme for whatever part they had in separating Alice from her child, but as much as I wanted to confront them all, it just wasn't my place. Edward and Alice both needed to be ready for that truth to come out. They needed the opportunity to decide how they wanted to move forward, and judging by Alice's words, she wasn't ready yet, and I was confident Edward wasn't either. He had only told me the truth because of what I saw, and based on past conversations with him, I knew he never wanted the truth to get out at all. I only hoped he changed his mind one day soon, because I truly believed Esme and Carlisle needed to be held accountable for what they did.

If and when Edward and Alice decided to confront the Cullens was completely up to them, however, I quickly realized there was at least one other person who should know the truth, just so they wouldn't have to hide their relationship at home…

"Good morning," Jasper said as he walked through the back door of the kitchen.

"Hey, are you just getting in?" I asked, confused by the early hour. Usually he was still sleeping at that time.

"No, I went out early this morning to groom the horses," he told me.

"You did?" I said surprised. "Jasper, I don't want you overdoing anything and end up hurting yourself."

"Actually, my physical therapist said it would be beneficial to my recovery," he assured me. "Hey… so is Alice okay? I heard her screaming a little last night. You know my hearing isn't so good anymore, so I couldn't really tell what was wrong."

"Well…" I was trying to think of how I could explain just enough to him while still respecting their privacy, but luckily, I didn't have to tell him anything. Alice suddenly came dancing into the kitchen, while pulling Edward behind her.

"Good morning, Allie, you sure seem in good spirits this morning," Jasper said to her.

She smiled at him and then nodded.

"Well, I'm glad to see it," he told her. "It didn't sound like you were too happy last night."

"That's because Bella was upset and punched Teddy in the face," Alice replied casually. As if it were completely normal for her to speak in that way. "But it's okay now. Right Bella?"

Jasper looked at me in shock.

"Um… It was a misunderstanding," I said, unsure what else it say at the moment.

Jasper looked back and forth between Edward, Alice, and me, and must have clearly seen something was off. Alice was pretty much clinging to Edward with an iron grip, and Edward seemed to be extremely withdrawn, which worried me. I would have thought finally being honest would have been a relief for him, but it almost seemed to have the opposite affect, and I only wished I understood why.

"Okay, I'm sorry… Can one of you tell me what's going on here?" Jasper said after a few more awkward moments.

"It's a secret," Alice told him, and then she actually winked. It was kind of surreal.

"A secret?" Jasper asked before looking to me with his questions.

"Alice is my mother," Edward blurted out, completely unexpectedly.

Jasper's face fell into disturbed confusion, so Alice decided he needed more of an explanation.

"He came out of my body… It was really gross, and it hurt a lot. But he was smaller back then. Isn't he so big now?" she said proudly.

"Uh…"

Jasper didn't know how to respond to that, so Edward explained a little more…

"I was born in the basement where she was kept, and we lived there together for five years before we were found and the separated. I wanted to see how she was, so that's why I came here originally."

Edward's quick and emotionless retelling of his past certainly shocked the hell out of Jasper, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't concern me. I just didn't understand why he seemed to be so distant.

"Wait, so you're her teddy bear that she used to always cry for?" Jasper asked astonished. "God, I can't imagine a little kid having a baby alone in a basement," he mumbled to himself. "And then you guys were forced apart? I can't believe the Cullens would do something like that."

"But Bella said we can stay together now," Alice told him with a smile.

"Well yeah, you should. But… I mean, technically your parents still have custody of you, so…" He looked back at me. "Wouldn't it be up to the Cullens if she was able to stay here or not?" Jasper pointed out. "I mean, if they wouldn't let them stay together before, how do you know they will now?"

"We haven't got it all figured out just yet," I told him, not wanting to upset Alice again. The truth was, Jasper was right. Because of Alice's mental and emotional state, she was deemed unable to care for herself, thus she needed guardians, and her guardians were her parents. We needed to figure out a way to make them understand the importance of keeping her at the ranch with me. I only wished I had some kind of idea on how to accomplish that.

"Man, you two do look alike," Jasper said, still in shock. "No wonder I recognized you when we first met. I can't believe Em didn't see it."

"Yeah, seems pretty obvious now," I agreed.

I looked back at Edward, and it seemed the conversation was just pushing him further and further away as he appeared to be retreating into himself. He was just staring off into space with a blankness that worried me, and that distant blankness followed him for the rest of the day.

"Hey, so I was thinking we could all sit down together, and pop some popcorn, and watch a movie tonight. You know, kind of take a breather and get our minds off of everything for a little bit. What do you think?" I asked Edward that afternoon while he was mending part of the corral fence.

"Whatever you want to do," he said distractedly. He wouldn't even look away from the fence for a moment to look at me.

"Okay… Any preferences on the movie?"

"Nope," he said evenly.

"Okay… Well, I guess I'll ask Jasper and Alice what they want to watch then."

Edward didn't respond any further, he just kept working. Which, I suppose him being a hard worker was nothing new, but he was being unusually cold, and I just didn't understand it. I really thought exposing the truth would have brought us to a whole new level of closeness, but that certainly wasn't the case.

That evening we finished dinner early and started on a movie. I was hoping to perhaps cuddle with Edward a little, but he sat in the arm chair as far away from me as possible. Apparently, I wasn't the only one upset by his choice seat…

"Teddy, come sit by me," Alice told him eagerly.

"I'm going to hang out over here tonight. Okay?" he told her gently.

Alice turned to me. "I think he's a little grumpy. Maybe he just needs a time out."

"Maybe," I agreed. I looked back at Edward again, just in time to see him rolling his eyes, which certainly wasn't like him.

The movie dragged on, and it wasn't long before both Alice and Jasper fell asleep.

"Oh… I don't want to wake them," I said, due to the way they both seemed so peaceful. "Maybe you should carry her upstairs," I suggested to Edward.

He huffed and got up, and then draped a blanket over her. "I'm not going to carry her. That would just be weird."

"Oh… okay," I said, not really understanding why he thought it would be weird, but accepting it regardless.

We put a blanket on Jasper as well, and then we went up to our room. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him and have one of those incredible, all night love sessions, but it quickly became clear he wasn't on the same page. He didn't even take his shirt off. He just got in bed, and then rolled over away from me before going to sleep.

Edward's distance only grew over the next couple days, until finally I had enough. We had come too far for him to be that closed off again, and I was going to insisted he tell me why.

"So… you're taking a vow of abstinence now?" I semi joked one night as he, once again, gave me the cold shoulder in bed.

He rolled over to look at me. "No, I've just… been tired."

"Tired, huh? Next you're going to tell me you have a headache," I said frustrated. "What's going on with you? I thought, after everything came out…"

"You thought what?" he asked full of attitude. "That everything would just be all magical and perfect because I'm not lying about anything anymore?"

"Well, maybe not perfect," I said quietly, taken aback by his harsh words. "But I did think it would only bring us closer. I guess I was wrong."

"Yeah, well I guess you were wrong," he said bitterly before getting out of bed and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked frustrated.

"I'm getting some Advil. I have a headache," he said like a smartass. We both knew he wasn't leaving to get medicine, and him not returning to bed at all that night only confirmed it.

When I got up the next morning, Edward was already out on the property doing chores, and to my surprise, Alice was cooking breakfast.

"Hey. That looks good. I didn't know you even knew how to work the stove," I told her honestly.

"I used to cook in the basement sometimes," she said casually. "Aro gave me a little camping stove."

"Oh…" I said, unsure how else to respond to that. Since her relationship with Edward was exposed, Alice came alive in ways I never could have expected. She was talking so much more than I had ever heard from her before, and she would talk about her time in the basement as if it wasn't a big deal. To her, it was just a part of her life, and it was the part that she had Edward with her, so it was clear she didn't want to forget it the way we had all assumed before.

"Teddy liked Pop Tarts more than eggs though," Alice added as she continued to cook.

"And… the man…" I began hesitantly.

"Aro?" Alice asked indifferently.

"Yeah, Aro," I said, feeling weird about actually saying his name out loud. But it clearly didn't bother Alice, so I decided to go through with asking my question. "Aro… brought you food, and stuff, regularly?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah… Not always regularly though. There were times when I think he'd forget, and we didn't have any food for a couple of days. But there were always the ants and cockroaches to eat, so we were never starving," she said nonchalantly.

My stomach twisted. "That's…"

"It wasn't too bad. Teddy got bored a lot, so he liked hunting them. He'd always get so excited when he found a really big one."

"Yeah, I guess I can see why that would excite him," I said sadly, thinking about little Edward never seeing the sky, or the trees, or basically anything. It would only make sense catching a nasty bug would make his day.

"But maybe I should have taught him better than to play with the roaches," she said, suddenly becoming sad.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, concerned by her sudden mood change.

She shrugged. "Maybe if I took care of him better, maybe my parent's would have let me keep him. Before Aro took me, I asked my parent's for a puppy, but they said no because I wasn't responsible enough and I wouldn't take care of it. I guess that's why they wouldn't let me keep Teddy."

"Alice, is losing Teddy… is that why you stopped talking for so long?" I asked her carefully. I had pretty much already assumed that to be the case, but I was hoping she'd be willing to talk about it a little.

She looked down at her hands, and then she looked back up to me. "I hate my parents. I never wanted to speak to them because of what they did… but they would never leave me alone."

After hearing Alice talk like that, I began to think it would actually be unhealthy for her to even see her parents at all for a while. She spoke of her captor with more fondness than her parents, and that just wasn't right on any level. I needed to come up with some kind of idea to keep them away indefinitely...

"We will figure out something," I told her again, though, at the moment, I had absolutely no idea what that something could possibly be.

"Bella, can you finish cooking these?" Alice asked after a minute. "Teddy went outside without eating, so I'm going to go bring him some Pop Tarts."

"Oh… Okay, sure," I said while taking the spoon she was using. She then skipped to the pantry and grabbed the Pop Tarts before racing outside.

Jasper walked in a few minutes later, and he couldn't have come at a better time, because the smell of the eggs were making me absolutely nauseous.

"Jazz, please finish these for me and then help yourself," I said in a rush before darting to the closest bathroom.

It wasn't my first bout with morning sickness, and I couldn't help but think of poor little Alice going through that, so scared and all alone. I just couldn't imagine it, and it brought me a whole new round of tears. I sat in there, and must have cried for a good twenty minutes before I was able to get a hold of myself enough to leave the bathroom.

I still wasn't feeling the greatest, so rather than doing any physical chores for the day, I decided to go over all our upcoming appointments for the week. I just got through calling my first three patients to confirm their times, when suddenly I felt a pair of warm arms embracing me from behind. He buried his face into the side of my neck, where he kissed me tenderly, and then he apologized…

"I'm sorry," he mumbled ever so softly, while wrapping me even tighter in his arms.

I let out a sigh of relief, as it felt like he had finally come back to me after being gone for what felt like a very long time.

"Where have you been?" I asked emotionally while reaching up to knot my fingers into his perfect hair.

"Out working," he said with a slight hint of his old humor back in his voice.

"You know what I mean," I told him as seriously as possible, but I couldn't help but smile to myself regardless. It was hard to be upset, even in the slightest, while wrapped in his arms like that.

He kissed my neck again, and then let go of me. Before I could even protest that move, he walked around me and then grabbed my hand before sitting on the chair there, and pulling me into him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I've been… such a jackass to you again. I honestly don't know why you still want me around."

"I just want to know what's been going on with you. Why have you been so distant?"

He stared at me for a moment, and then sighed. "Honestly… I'm just… I don't know."

"Edward, please talk to me," I practically begged him.

"That's the thing, I … I don't know how. I don't know how to do anything anymore. I've been hiding behind all the fake aliases I've given myself over the years, that… I don't even fucking know who I actually am. Now, with the truth out, and Alice constantly clinging to me, I'm just… I don't know. I never wanted to be… what I really am. I've run from the truth for so long, it's just… I don't know the right way to handle it."

"I don't think there is a right or wrong way to handle something like this," I told him gently. "You don't have to try to be anyone… Just…be. If you have something to say, say it, if you're not feeling up to something, then don't do it. Where you came from doesn't define who you are."

"Yeah, well I think you're just about the only person I've ever come across who feels that way."

"Sounds like you've only ever come across assholes before," I told him seriously.

He smirked at me. "I'm sure that's true."

"You know," I said as I slowly pushed him back so I was completely on top of him. "I was starting to think you were losing interest in me."

"Losing interest in you?" he asked confused. "That's not even possible."

"You certainly haven't touched me in days."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Its not… easy to tell you what's going on, because I held on to it for so long. It's not something I've ever wanted anyone to know, and… I wish you still didn't know."

"About where you came from?" I asked, slightly confused.

"I told you, being around Alice makes my freak outs worse."

I scrunched my brows. "Have you been squeezing your blood out again?" I asked concerned, and then quickly looked at the exposed skin on his arms for any signs of bruising.

"No, I'm …" He let his words trail off, and was clearly ashamed of something.

"What?" I urged. "Its okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured.

"I'm sure not understanding hurts more," I argued.

He sighed. "The baby… it's freaking the hell out of me, probably even more than seeing my blood does."

"I see," I said while quickly getting off of him.

He huffed. "Damn it, Bella, I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have told you that, and once again I just screwed everything up. I don't seem to know how to not to be a jackass."

"No, I'm glad you're being honest, it's just hard to hear something like that."

"I know. God, I really hate this. It's like I have this little devil sitting on my shoulder telling me all this shit about my blood and it being inside you now, and I just... I can't stand it. And a part of me can't fathom why you would even want to keep that baby knowing the truth. And even more fucked up, that same part of me is wondering what the hell is wrong with you for even wanting to stay with me knowing where I came from."

"Edward," I breathed while shaking my head. Once again, I was at a loss, and had no idea how to respond.

"But Bella," he continued. "That's just how fucked up I am. I actually love kids. If I was someone else, I would love to have ten kids with you." He paused and took a deep breath. "I really do love you more than anything in this world, and I want you so bad all the time, and it fucking kills me that I can't even bring myself to touch you the way I'm so desperate to. All because I'm fucking psychotic. You deserve so much better than a head case like me."

I shook my head to disagree, but he wasn't finished talking just yet.

"Bella, I know I don't deserve you, and I know just how unfair I'm being to you right now, but… please don't give up on me just yet," he said, taking me aback. "The entire world could crumble and disappear around me, and I'd be okay as long as I still had you. I need you so much more than I could ever tell you. I know I'm fucked up, but please just hang on. I'm trying to work on it. I'm working on it every second of every day. Please. Just don't give up on me yet."

"Oh Edward, I already told you, I'll never give up on you," I told him with tears streaming down my face. "I love you so much, and that will never change," I added, and then we were both crying.

If nothing else, I truly felt it was a breakthrough in his ability to trust me. The fact that he recognized his cold behavior over the past few days, and came to me to apologize, and wanted to confide in me, proved he was moving forward. However, I'd be lying if I said his inability to touch me just because I was carrying his child, didn't upset me. I had never been more worried than when I caught him squeezing his blood out of his hand, and to think he now felt that way towards the idea of making love to me was tough. I only hoped he found a way to think around it in his own mind soon, because I really didn't want to have to wait until after the baby was born before reconnecting with him in that way. Then again, I'd wait for him forever if that's what it took, because his love really was worth waiting for...


	14. Birds and Bees

**Chapter 14 – Birds and Bees**

"Any idea how long this storm is supposed to last?" Jasper asked one afternoon as we all stood under the porch awning, and watched the rain come pouring from the sky in thick sheets of freezing water.

"The weather report said it wasn't supposed to even hit us for another three days," I said frustrated. "I had to reschedule all my appointments for today and tomorrow, and I hate doing that to them."

"You can't help the rain, Bells," Jasper pointed out.

"I know, but they count on coming here so much."

"I think I should build an indoor arena," Edward said absently as he stared out into the storm.

"You say that like it's easy," Jasper grumbled.

"How hard could it be?" Edward replied unconcerned.

"Hard. Trust me. And expensive," Jasper informed him. "We couldn't do it all by hand. We would need to rent heavy equipment, and the building material we'd need is pricy. Not to mention the fact that we would also need to hire a crew. Two guys couldn't build one alone, especially right now with my leg messed up."

"Okay, I guess I see your point," Edward conceded.

"The autistic kids might not like all the construction noise either," Alice added casually.

Edward, Jasper, and I stared at her in shock for a few moments, but then we all just let it go. If we voiced our bewilderment every time Alice said something new, that would be all we would have time to talk about.

"Okay, so no outdoor arena," Edward agreed. "I guess we are just going to have to figure out something else to do with our time when the weather is bad."

"Does anyone else hear a phone ringing?" Jasper asked confused.

"Oh… Yeah, I should probably go answer that," I said reluctantly.

"How am I the only one who heard it? I'm mostly deaf," Jasper mumbled to himself.

"You may be deaf, but the rest of us have selective hearing," Edward joked.

"Oh, it's Esme again, isn't it?" Jasper realized.

"Yes, and I'm going to have to B.S. my way through another call, and figure out even more excuses as to why her coming to visit right now isn't such a great idea," I grumbled as I headed into the house to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver, and seriously hoped she had already hung up since I took so long to answer.

But of course, she was still there…

"Hi honey. It's Esme," she said in her sweet, sing song voice. It was really hard to keep up the polite pretenses after discovering the truth, but it's what Alice asked me to do, so I did the best I could.

"Hi Esme. How's everything going?" I asked as casually as possible.

"Oh, you know how it is. How's Alice? This has definitely been the longest I've gone without seeing her. Has she had anymore meltdowns or anything?"

"Nope. She's doing great."

"Good, I'm so glad she's been doing so well. Hey, listen, I completely overlooked this, but her monthly visit with Doctor Eleazar is this Thursday. Now, I know she's been enjoying her space, but I really need to come pick her up and take her to that. So I was thinking I'd go out there tomorrow and stay the night, that way we can leave first thing Thursday morning so we can make it on time."

"Um… Actually Esme, I need to take a trip to the city for a few things, and I was planning on going this weekend, but with the rain, I had to cancel my patients here anyway, so I may as well go on Thursday and take Alice to her appointment at the same time," I suggested on a whim.

"Oh, that is just so sweet of you, honey, but I can't ask you to do that."

"Of course you can, and you didn't ask me anyway. This just makes more sense than you driving all the way out here just to take her back to the city. And, we both know, if you take her from here, she's going to assume you're trying to trick her into going home, and she'll have a meltdown."

"Well, I guess that's true. Okay, I'll just meet you guys at the office then, and maybe we can have lunch after."

"But again, if she sees you, she's going to assume you want to take her home with you. It's just, she is doing so good, and I really don't want to do anything she's not expecting because it might set her off. You even said so yourself, a little distance is healthy. I think it's really important that Dr. El sees just how well she really is doing. Besides, I'm sure it's only beneficial for her to learn to count on others for some of these types of things, because you won't always be there to do them yourself," I pointed out.

"You're probably right. I just miss her so much. I don't even know what to do with myself right now."

"I'm sure you're getting a lot of work done. I'll let you know how her appointment goes when it's finished. Bye now," I told her, and then quickly hung up. A very small part of me hated lying to Esme. She was the closest thing to a mother that I had ever known, and I had only ever known her to be kind and loving; however, I had also never heard of a more cruel act than to rip a child out of its mother's arms as they both cried for each other. That was inexcusable and unforgivable, and that would always be on the forefront of my mind whenever I spoke to her or Carlisle moving forward.

"You know, I'm sure there's some work I can do out there in the rain," Edward said as I rejoined them out on the porch. "A little water never hurt anyone."

"We've been over this the last time it was raining," I told him. "There's nothing out there that can't wait for a dry day."

"I just hate not being busy," Edward said quietly.

"That's because you get so bored, just like when you were little," Alice told him. Then she looked at me. "He never liked to sit still in the basement either."

Alice's words were like a lightbulb, and actually made so much of Edward's behaviors make sense. His work ethic, and his inability to slow down, even his previous nomadic life style could all be attributed to not wanting to be reminded of his past time being locked inside that basement. Of course he'd want to keep busy and hate staying in one place for too long, due to the fact that he was born into confinement, and spent all his youngest years that way. In fact, it was hard to imagine him or Alice ever wanting to be indoors at all after being forced to live without the sky, or even any natural light or fresh air for so long.

"We don't have to go inside," I told Edward, as well as Alice. "We can just… sit out here, or we can go for a drive, or anything you guys want."

"Lets go in. It's getting cold," Alice said lightly, before grabbing Edward's arm, and pulling him behind her as she went into the house.

"So, was it Esme on the phone?" Edward asked as we all sat in the living room.

"Yes. She wanted to come pick Alice up for her therapy appointment on Thursday."

"No!" Alice said strongly. "I don't want to go with her."

"I told her I would take you," I assured her. "We will drive out there, see Dr. El, and then come right back."

"I don't understand why I need to go there. I've been seeing Dr. EL since I was seventeen, and he's never helped me with anything," she said full of attitude, which was something I had never heard from her before.

"Well, perhaps if you actually spoke to him, he could help you," Edward told her unexpectedly.

"I did speak to him. I told him the first time I met him that my parent's took you and he didn't help me, so why would I speak to him anymore?" she argued.

"Well, he probably assumed the same thing Emmett and Bella always did when hearing you ask for your 'Teddy'," Edward told her.

Alice stared at him for a moment, and then she looked down at her twiddling fingers in her lap. "I did the wrong thing… Didn't I? I wasn't clear. I didn't know I wasn't clear enough. I just thought they didn't care. Now you're mad at me, aren't you? You hate me for not doing better…"

"Alice, no. Of course I don't hate you," Edward assured her gently.

"But maybe if I was more clear, Dr. El would have made my parent's keep you," she continued with tears spilling over her cheeks. "It's all my fault that you were sent away. I didn't protect you like I should have. It was the only job I ever had, and I failed."

"Alice, stop. It wasn't your job to protect me from anything," Edward told her evenly. "You didn't choose to have a kid. You were just a kid yourself. I was just… one more of the terrible things that monster inflicted on you while being locked down there."

Alice grabbed his face in her hands, and then looked at him sternly. "You are not a terrible thing that came from the monster. You were never his. Only mine. You're the only good thing I've ever done. The only thing right. I was so happy when you came. You made me happy, and I was never happy again without you."

She didn't wait for a response from him, she just pulled him into her, and hugged him tightly. It was such an incredible moment, and I knew just how important it was for Edward to hear. I knew he still had a long way to go before he could truly love himself, but I did believe that was the first step. Alice couldn't have been more right. Edward was always hers from the very beginning, and he needed to truly understand that.

Something made me glance over at Jasper, and I couldn't help but smile at the way he was absolutely blubbering from watching their interaction. Of course, I didn't blame him one bit. It was definitely a remarkably emotional moment that he and I were privileged to get to witness.

After a bit, Jasper decided to pull out some old board games from the den closet, and the four of us did what we could to try to entertain ourselves.

"Lets play teams," Alice suggested. I assumed she'd want to be paired with Edward, but then she surprised everyone. "Me and Jasper, against Bella and Teddy."

"Oh, are you sure you don't want to be on Teddy's team?" I asked her.

"No, I think it's good he has a friend his age. You know, Bella, the first time I saw you I knew you and Teddy would make good friends."

"You did?" I asked surprised. I locked eyes with Edward, and he smiled my favorite crooked smile at me.

"Well, you were right about that," Edward told her. "Bella and I are pretty good friends."

"That's because you're both the same age," Alice decided. "I'm older than Jasper, but we can still be friends too."

"That, we can be," Jasper agreed. "And you're not too much older than me anyway."

"How old are you?" she asked him curiously.

"I just turned thirty one last month."

"I didn't know you were that old," she said confused. "Why are you so much older than Bella but you're still cousins?"

Jasper chuckled and shrugged. "It just works out like that sometimes I guess."

"Okay, well I guess you're more my friend than theirs," she concluded.

"Alice, people of all different ages can be friends," I told her. "You and I are friends, right?"

"Oh… I guess so," she said, clearly never really considering us friends before. "I always thought we were family, but… I guess we can be both."

I smiled and nodded at her. "We can definitely be both."

"Oh Teddy, look!" she shouted suddenly, while pointing at the ground besides where I was sitting. I looked down and nearly shrieked before jumping up onto the couch.

"Wow, that's one big bug," Jasper said casually while reaching for a Kleenex to smash it with.

"Its okay, I got it," Edward said unconcerned while scooping it up with his bare hands, and heading for the front door with it.

"Teddy, don't eat it!" Alice called after him. "You don't think he's going to eat it, do you?" she then asked me when Edward failed to respond to her right away.

"Uh… I hope not," I said with a giggle.

"Tempting, but no," Edward said as he returned. "I released it outside."

"Okay, good, because people don't like it when other people eat bugs," Alice told him seriously, as if she really trying to teach him that fact.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said with a smirk.

We finally got around to playing the game, and Edward and I lost… twice. Alice and Jasper wanted to go for a third time, but Edward and I both had enough losing for the time being.

We all pitched in to clean up the game, which was scattered all over the living room floor, when suddenly I heard Edward say "Crap," under his breath. I looked over at him and saw that he must have gotten a paper cut from the game cards, and was bleeding just the smallest amount. He was just staring at the blood, so before he even had a chance to freak, I pulled a band aid right out of my pocket, and quickly covered the fresh wound.

"You just carry bandages with you wherever you go?" he asked me surprised.

"I do now," I told him with a smile.

I wasn't sure if simply covering his cut would be enough to thwart his meltdown, but when he smiled at me, I took a sigh of relief and knew it had worked that time. Then again, I wasn't counting on Alice…

"Did Teddy cut himself?" she asked concerned.

"I'm fine. It was nothing," Edward tried assuring her.

"You forgot to kiss it before you put the band aid on," Alice told me unexpectedly.

"No, wait…" Edward tried to protest, but Alice was far too quick. She pulled off the Band aid and kissed his bloody finger in one swift move, which prompted Edward to completely freeze in place.

Alice clearly didn't understand Edward's issue with his blood, and she didn't give it a second thought. After she kissed his finger, she simply replaced the band aid and went back to cleaning.

"Are you okay?" I asked Edward quietly after a moment.

"Of course he's okay. I kissed it. Kisses always make boo-boos all better," Alice told me.

"I should probably get started on making dinner," Edward said after a minute, but he kept his cut finger in the air as he clearly didn't know what to do with it.

"Hey, why don't you let me cook for a change," Jasper offered.

"You don't have to that. This is nothing," Edward said while finally putting his finger down.

"Yeah, but I kind of want to. I used to enjoy cooking, and I just happened to have a few specialties that would be perfect for me to whip out on this rainy afternoon."

"What about your leg?" Edward asked concerned.

"I don't need full use of my leg to cook," he assured him.

"Can I help you?" Alice asked him eagerly.

"Why darlin', I would love that. Thank you," he told her, and then they both headed into the kitchen.

"I guess this works out. I really want to talk to you about something privately," Edward told me as soon as the others were safely out of hearing range.

"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked him concerned.

"Lets go upstairs," he said, and then took my hand and led me up to our room.

When we got in the room, he had me sit on the bed, and then he stood there in front of me for a moment, and seemed to be searching for the words he wanted to say.

"You're kind of worrying me here," I told him anxiously.

He sighed. "No, babe, it's nothing bad… I've just been thinking… maybe I should take Alice to her appointment myself on Thursday."

"You want to take her? Just the two of you?" I asked confused. "Is there a reason why?"

"I don't know… I think it may be a good idea for me to… meet this guy. I mean, he already knows Alice so… maybe it would make it easier for me to… I don't know."

"What?"

"Maybe I could talk to this guy about maybe getting some therapy for myself," he said nervously.

"You want to go to therapy?" I asked surprised.

"That's stupid, huh? I mean, this ranch is a therapy place, so if I can't get help here…"

"No, no, no, it's a different kind of therapy," I assured him. "Horse therapy, or any kind of alternate therapy for that matter, is supposed to enhance growth in people, but it was never intended to take the place of traditional therapists. I think it would be a great idea for you to try to get some help."

He nodded. "I've actually been to therapists before. It was kind of state mandated at the time, but … I don't think I was ever ready to really open up before."

"Therapy can only help if you're open to it," I agreed.

"Yeah, and I think I might be finally getting there. I just… I don't know, I guess I just keep thinking about the baby, and… I don't want to be afraid of it. I mean, what the hell kind of person is afraid of a baby? And I certainly don't want it to get to be a kid, and then it falls and scraps it's knee or something, only to have me freak out. No kid needs that."

I nodded. "Well, if you really want to go see a therapist, I think it's a wonderful idea."

"And what about this guy Alice sees? Have you met him before? Do you think he'd be a good match for me?"

"Dr. El is great. Alice has been going to him since she first came back home…. But, he is good friends with Carlisle. I know there is a patient-doctor confidentiality, so I don't think he'd tell the Cullens anything, but it may still be risky."

"Yeah, but on the plus side, he already knows Alice's story, so if I were to tell him mine, it wouldn't be such a big shock. I guess I never really wanted to explain to a therapist about where I came from, which was just one of the reasons why I never felt comfortable with one before. I mean, it's just a lot for someone to hear, but this way it wouldn't be as big of a deal."

"But that's their job," I pointed out. "To hear people's issues and try to help."

"I know, but they're still just people themselves. Regardless of it being their job or not, it would still be shocking for anyone to hear my life story," he explained.

"Well, if you want to take Alice, and get a feel for him to see if you think you can be comfortable enough to make an appointment yourself, I'm all for it. Heck, the sooner you can start getting your head on straight, the better."

Edward laughed. "Oh yeah, and why's that?"

"I just don't know how much longer I can wait for you," I joked. "I may have to start cheating on you with my hand." I had no idea what possessed me to say that out loud, even as a joke, but it was the truth - I was getting pretty desperate. Being alone with him in our bedroom was pretty difficult, despite the important conversation were having. He was just too beautiful, and it had been far too long.

I sincerely wasn't expecting much of a response from him, but then he closed the distance between us, and ever so slowly, crawled over me on the bed so I had no choice but to lie back.

"Cheat with your hand, huh?" he asked as he hovered so close that his lips brushed mine with every word he spoke. "I may be okay with that if you let me watch."

I ran my hands up his back and under the fabric of his shirt. God his skin was perfect. The way it stretched so smoothly over his firm muscles was like a masterpiece. He truly didn't have any flaws that I could see or feel, and suddenly I found myself teetering on the edge of sanity.

I didn't want to push him, or make him feel guilty for withholding himself from me, but I was desperate, and my hands began attacking his pants without my permission. I had enough wits about me to fully expect him to put a stop to my advances, but then he surprised me by helping me get his pants off, and even started in on my clothes.

I kept waiting for him to want to stop, but thankfully, it didn't happen. The next thing I knew we were both naked, and he was pushing himself into me with a desperateness that matched my own.

We both pushed and pulled, and took and gave, until we were coming apart in each other's arms. It was passionate and intense, and so much more than I was expecting, in the best possible way.

As amazing as it was, however, I couldn't help but wonder why it happened. "Maybe I should threaten to cheat on you more often," I said as we rested together, catching our breaths.

He chuckled, and then rolled back over so he could kiss me again. "Actually, that was a pretty big turn on… and I still really want to see it, but I think I just realized something important."

"And what's that?" I asked as I was, once again, overtaken by just how beautiful he was. His face was so close to mine that it was impossible not to reach out and caress his stunning features.

"Are you petting my nose?" he asked with a laugh.

"I'm sorry. It is a perfect nose," I said with a giggle before kissing it.

"Well, if you want to make out with my nose I guess I can't stop you, but I do need you to know what I just realized… because it is sort of a big deal."

Kissing his face was an involuntary impulse, and I couldn't stop, so I quickly kissed every inch of his face to get it out of my system, and then I forced myself back far enough to look in his eyes. "Okay, I think I can handle it now. Tell me what you realized."

He smirked at me, but then fell serious. "I realized that I love you more than anything."

I smiled at him. "You've already told me that."

He shook his head. "I've told you that I love you, but now I'm telling you that I love you more than anything… and by more than anything, I mean even more than my hate for myself."

"Really?" I asked emotionally. His words may not have sounded very romantic to anyone else, but to me they were everything. Edward's self-hate had always been the strongest part of him, and there he was, telling me he loved me more. Words could never describe just how much that meant to me. "So… what does this mean for our baby?" I asked him carefully.

"Well, I figured it's really only a quarter evil," he replied casually. "Fifty percent you, and twenty five percent Alice isn't so bad."

I giggled at him. "And you came to terms with all this just now?" I asked confused. "Because as of last night, you still wouldn't touch me. Not that I'm complaining, or anything."

"I told you I'd work on it," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, but I assumed it would take longer than a couple days," I told him before kissing his lips again, and then his neck and then back to his lips.

"I don't know, I guess it just needed to click, and I needed it to click fast. I hate not touching you. Every night I'd just lie awake and try to get out of my stupid head, but even more then that, I hate not giving you everything you need. Your needs are far more important than my stupid mental block, and this morning I decided that it was done. I wasn't going to allow you to go to bed unfulfilled one more time."

"So now you want to do therapy and you're accepting the baby? That's a lot of changing in one day."

"No, I don't really see it that way. I'm in no way cured of my self-loathing, but like I said, I just realized what was already true, that I love you more. Everything else just falls in line with that fact. Now, I can't promise I won't freak the next time I see my blood, or that the idea of being a father doesn't scare the hell out of me, but… I'll get through it because my only other option is to lose you, and that's not an option."

"You would never lose me," I told him as I rolled us over so I was on top. I leaned back down to kiss him again. "Never."

"I know I won't," he agreed as I continued to kiss him. "Because I won't allow it. I won't allow my idiocy to get in the way for a moment longer."

He caressed his hands up my body, while I reached between us to guide him back inside of me, but that was the moment all hell broke loose…

"No!" I heard a scream, and before I could process what was even happening, I was being attacked. "I'm not going to let you hurt him!" she screeched at me while hitting me and pulling my hair.

"Alice, stop! She's not hurting me!" Edward yelled at her. Somehow he managed to get his pants back on, and he pulled her off of me so I could cover myself.

"Yes, I saw her. She was hurting you like Aro hurt me!" Alice cried.

"No, that's not what's happening," Edward tried convincing her. "I… we…" Edward let his words trail off then looked at me for help.

I was completely horrified that she had walked in on that, and even worse that she actually thought I was abusing her son, but we didn't have the luxury of just being embarrassed and moving on. Alice needed an explanation. In fact, she needed an entire 'the birds and the bees' talk, and I was grateful that she quickly calmed down enough to listen...

"Alice, we… we aren't just friends. We love each other… When two people…"

"Two adults," Edward corrected me.

"Yes, when two adults love each other, they sometimes will… be naked together, and make love." I tried explaining in a way she could understand. "Its not the same thing that happened to you."

"Because you're both adults?" she questioned confused.

"Yes, because we are both adults, and we love each other," I tried clarifying.

"It doesn't hurt?" Alice then asked Edward.

"No, it's not supposed to hurt," he told her awkwardly.

"And you like doing that?" she asked him.

"Uh…" Again, Edward looked to me for help.

"Alice, when two adults make love, it's supposed to feel good, because it's something they both want to do. Neither one makes the other do something that would hurt or feel bad."

"How do you know how to do that? I never taught you," she said to Edward.

"No, it's not something a parent would teach," I told her, saving Edward from having to explain again. It was an incredibly awkward conversation for all three of us, especially considering that I was still sitting on the bed naked with only the sheet pulled up around me, but Alice had questions that needed to be answered, and I definitely thought she was ready to handle them.

"So… you guys are a couple?" Alice asked, slowly starting to understand.

"Yeah," Edward confirmed. "I guess we should have explained that sooner."

"Are you going to get married?" she then asked.

"Eventually," Edward replied.

"Things are a little hectic right now, but hopefully when everything settles down we can start talking about getting married," I explained.

"And you guys will have kids too?"

"Um…actually…" I let my words trail off, because I wasn't quite sure if Edward was ready to tell her.

"Actually, Bella is already pregnant," he finished for me.

Alice looked at me surprised. "You're going to have a baby?"

I smiled and nodded at her. "We haven't known very long. We… just were trying to come to terms with it before we told anyone."

Alice looked back at Edward. "You're going to be a dad? But you're still so young."

He smirked at her. "I'm twenty four… A bit older than you were when I was born."

Suddenly a wave of excitement washed over her. "We are really having a baby? Don't worry, Bella, I won't let my parent's take this one from us," she said as she practically started bouncing around the room. "I can't believe we are having a baby. Does Jasper know? Can I go tell him?"

"Um…" I looked at Edward for his opinion, and he shrugged indifferently, so I smiled at Alice. "Sure. Go ahead and go tell him."

"He's going to be so excited!" she shrieked, and then finally left the room.

"Holy shit, that sucked!" Edward said the moment we heard her quick footsteps fade down the stairs.

I laughed. "Wow, I guess we should invest in better locks on the doors."

Edward chuckled and then got back on the bed to kiss me. "Is that how teenagers feel when they get caught in the act by their parents?"

I laughed again. "I don't think it's quite like that. I mean, I don't know from experience or anything, but I'd imagine there would be a lot more shouting and maybe death threats involved when teens are caught by their parents."

"You do realize that is our future. Catching our kid in all sorts of compromising positions. I have a feeling this little monster is going to be a handful," he said while rubbing my stomach tenderly.

"Not if she's anything like me. I was a perfect child."

"She, huh? We could only be so lucky if she's like you. I'm more worried about him being like me. I was a hellion, and I'm not just talking in terms of my DNA."

"Well, in your defense, you did spend the first five years of your life trapped in a basement."

He shrugged. "True, but I probably would have gotten into my fair share of trouble even with a conventional upbringing. I so did enjoy causing mischief."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing we have Alice and Jasper here to help us out then. Surely four adults can keep one kid under control," I said as I began kissing him again.

"That's cute that you call Alice an adult," he mumbled against my lips.

"She's getting closer and closer every day," I defended her.

And then abruptly there was more screaming, except this time, it was coming from downstairs.

"What is that?" I asked concerned.

Edward already had his pants on, so he ran for the door, and I didn't want to waste a moment so I just threw my robe on and hurried to catch up to him.

We followed the sound of the screaming right to the downstairs bathroom, where we found Jasper covering himself with a towel, and Alice appeared to be in the process of removing her clothes.

"Holy shit," Edward said before turning right back around, and leaving even quicker than he had got there.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked her, having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"I did not touch her!" Jasper said quickly. "I was just grabbing a quick shower as dinner was cooking in the oven, and she just came in here.

"Jasper, it's okay. We are both adults, and we love each other," Alice told him. "Right, Bella? Tell Jasper it's okay."

"Um… I think we need to talk about this a little more," I told Alice while wrapping a towel around her, and leading her out of the bathroom. "Sorry Jasper," I told him, and then shut the door behind us as we left.

"But you said it was okay for two adults to be naked together when they love each other," Alice said confused as I walked her back up to her room.

"Yes, that is true, but it has to be something both people want. I'm sure Jasper loves you, I just don't think he's quite ready for that," I explained the best I could.

I left Alice alone in her room to get dressed, and then I went to get dressed myself. When I got to my room, I couldn't help but laugh at the way Edward was curled up in the arm chair looking comically traumatized.

"I'm going to fix all the locks in this damn house first thing in the morning," he said absently.

I giggled. "That's probably a good idea. I guess you'll have a whole new set of emotional issues to discuss with a therapist now."

He nodded absently. "And this, by far, will be my biggest issue. I don't know if it's something I'll ever get over. I'm scarred for life."

"For life, huh?" I asked as I once again climbed on top of him. "I bet I can take your mind off of it."

"You really have no shame, do you?" he teased me. "I blame myself. I made you wait too long since the last time we had sex, and now you're insatiable. Not even severe trauma detours you."

I giggled. "Eh, it wasn't so bad. She's just trying to figure out how the world works after being so closed off for so long. I'm sure she's going to be fine," I assured him.

"Yeah, but I won't be. And poor Jasper. Imagine how he feels being assaulted like that."

"I think he'll live," I said unconcerned while trying to unfasten his pants once more.

"Can we at least figure out a way to bar the door before we do this again?"

I laughed, and then got off him to go hunt out a temporary way to block the door. Now that he was willing to touch me again, there was no way I was going to wait for better locks. Edward was definitely right about one thing - he had made me wait far too long, and we had a lot of making up to do...


	15. Blood

**Chapter 15 – Blood**

"So…. How are you?" I asked Edward as we rested in bed together after making love for half the night.

"Tired," Edward replied with a forced chuckle.

"Yeah, but how are you, really? You may love me more than you hate yourself and all, but you sure have been staring up at the ceiling for twenty minutes straight. Are you freaking out… even just a little? I mean, we didn't use a condom, so… I know how that makes you uncomfortable. It's okay, you can tell me."

"Of course I'm freaking out," he admitted reluctantly. "Those feelings don't just disappear because I made the decision not to be controlled by them anymore."

"Can you talk about it? Maybe it would help if you said out loud exactly what freaks you out so much," I suggested.

He sighed. "Its nothing I haven't already told you before. I don't… I don't like the idea of my sperm being inside you."

"Even though I'm already pregnant?" I asked, regardless of the fact that I already knew the answer. We could talk about it a hundred times if he needed to, and I would still think it was important. I firmly believed the best thing we could do for our relationship, was to keep the lines of communication open. Whenever he was feeling down or thinking negative thoughts, I wanted to know, just as I planned to tell him whenever I was upset about something. We just needed to be able to always trust each other with our feelings, even if we worry it may be difficult for the other to hear…

"The baby is a whole separate thing," he explained. "At least it's half you. Those sperm are all squirming around in you, carrying his DNA… Its just… disturbing."

"Would it make you feel better if I showered?" I asked. A shower wouldn't do anything for what was inside me, but it did seem to help him before. The facts didn't really matter anyway, all that mattered was what calmed his nerves.

"I know it's stupid, and it doesn't accomplish anything, but… yeah, it would make me feel a little better."

"Okay, then I'll go take a shower… If you come with me," I told him with an excited smile.

He smirked at me. "That may just defeat the purpose."

"Yeah, but it's a lot more fun than showering alone."

"Oh, what am I going to do with you?" he said, mostly to himself.

"Just love me," I told him.

"Well, that has never been a problem. Loving you is just about the only thing that's come easily for me."

We kissed again, and ended up making out like a couple of school kids. Eventually we made it to the shower, and of course Edward was right, it was redundant since we couldn't get through it without having sex again. Luckily, by the time we were finally done, he was too tired to continue to obsess about it for the evening, and we both fell asleep for the rest of the night.

The morning of Alice's appointment arrived, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous watching Edward drive away with her in the front seat. I knew they'd be fine, but I couldn't help but feel like I should have been going with them. Then again, if Alice had to be leaving alone somewhere with anyone, it was Edward. They should have never been separated to begin with, and I knew as long as she was with him, she would be perfectly happy and well taken care of.

The day passed slowly, but occasionally Alice would send us pictures to Jasper's cell phone. The first one was of the side of Edward's face while he was driving, then a couple hours later she sent me a selfie with Edward grimacing behind her. We even got a picture of Dr. El waving hello, however the picture wasn't accompanied with a description of how the appointment went. It seemed Jasper and I would need to wait to get all the details when they returned.

After their appointment, Alice sent pictures of them stopping for lunch, and then ice cream, before they hit the road back home, which meant they were only three hours or so from arriving. I wanted to have dinner waiting for them when they returned, so I decided it was finally time to redeem myself with a big pot of spaghetti, and this time I was not going to let anything burn.

It was all going as planned, and everything was cooking right on schedule, when suddenly I heard the car pull up out front, fifteen minutes earlier than I was expecting…

"Shit!" I said as I realized the surprise wasn't going to go as I hoped. I really wanted it plated on the table by the time they got there; now, it seemed, Edward would probably just end up teasing me about my previous marinara fire.

"Uh oh," I heard Jasper say from the living room.

"What's wrong? Is Alice upset about something?" I called to him from the kitchen where I was still stirring the sauce.

"Well, I'd say someone is upset, but it's not Alice," Jasper replied.

That didn't sound good at all, so I decided the sauce would be okay for a quick second while I hurried to check to see what was wrong with Edward - Except by the time I got to the front door, it was being opened from the outside, and it definitely wasn't Edward...

"Where the hell is my sister?" Emmett demanded without any other form of greeting.

"What are you doing here, Emmett?" I asked evenly.

"Don't play dumb, Bella. I told you I'd give you two weeks to kick that criminal to the curb, and those two weeks were up last weekend. I would have been out here then, but I couldn't get out of work any sooner. I didn't see his car out there, so I'm going to assume he never came back since I know you would have called me if he did, like you promised you would," he said condescendingly. "I can't say I'm all that surprised he didn't show. Idiots like him never stay in the same place long. You really should have known this was going to happen."

"If you're so sure he never came back, then why are you this angry and practically busted down my door just to get to Alice?" I questioned him bitterly.

"We both know why!" he snapped at me.

"No. I'm kind of at a loss here. You were mad because I had a criminal living with Alice, but he's clearly not here, so why are you still so mad?"

"Because my dad told me he signed the deed over to you. What the hell, Bella? You had no intentions on making that son of a bitch leave here, did you!"

"Emmett, you need to calm down and back off, before you say something you're going to regret," Jasper said to him.

"Don't get in the middle of this, Jazz!" Emmett warned him.

"All I'm saying is you might not know the entire story. Don't jump to conclusions," Jasper argued.

"Bella had my father sign over the deed to this place under false pretenses, just so I couldn't have her convict boyfriend thrown out of here. What kind of wrong conclusion could I make from that? Now, I may not be able to take the ranch from her, but I can take my sister as far away from here as possible. She doesn't need to be around anyone willing to put her at risk and con our family like that."

"Under who's authority are you going to take her?" I challenged him. "Your parents must not be too upset about the situation, or they'd be here taking her themselves."

"My parents don't need to know how you scammed them. They're under all the stress they can handle right now."

"What stress?" I asked concerned.

"It doesn't concern you!" he said angrily. "All you need to know is that I'm taking my sister from here, and I'll handle my parents and everything else."

"Emmett, whatever is going on…"

"Is none of your business! My family stopped being your business when you scammed my dad. I still can't believe you'd sink that low. I mean really, who the hell are you? We have considered you family your entire life. Since our dads became friends over twenty five years ago, and this is how you treat us? And for what? A criminal who never even came back from wherever the hell he went. I hope he was worth betraying your family over. Now, where is Alice?"

I stared him down for a minute, and then I sighed. "She's not here."

"Where the hell is she?"

"Well, she just happens to be out with that criminal," I said honestly.

"What?" he spat. "What the hell do you mean, she's out with him?"

"I guess you're right, Emmett. I did choose Edward over you and your parents… I scammed your father out of the deed, and I scammed you too. Edward was never going to be gone for two weeks, in fact, he was back here within a couple of days after Thanksgiving."

"What?" he seethed.

"You want to talk about family?" I said bitterly. "You tried to blackmail me. You threatened to have my home and business taken away. A business that I've worked my entire life for, all because of something you couldn't even begin to understand. Family doesn't do that!"

"You were putting my sister at risk!" he argued heatedly.

"Says who? So he has a past? You're willing to condemn a man because he made a few bad decisions? You have a past too. You got into some trouble after high school. Should you be kicked out of the family because you did some things you weren't proud of?"

"Bella, that piece of shit isn't in our family. He has no loyalties to us. In fact, he was planning on stealing from us!"

I nodded. "You're right. He was planning that… and you know what, however much he possibly could have gotten from that, would have been nothing compared to what he deserved. Your father stole a whole hell of a lot more from him than just money."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Bella…" Jasper warned me. He knew as well as I did that it wasn't my secret to tell, and I was glad he was there to stop me from saying what I shouldn't, because I was so very close.

"What are you two keeping from me?" Emmett asked suspiciously.

"What are you keeping from me about your parents?" I countered.

"Its none of your business!" he snapped again.

"Fine. Then I guess there's nothing left for us to say. You can leave now."

"I'm not leaving here without my sister. And I swear to god, if she's really out somewhere with that piece of shit…"

"You'll what?" I challenged him. "What are you going to do, Emmett? You better think about it real quick, because I'm telling you right now, that's exactly where she is. Alice is out with Edward. She is safe with him, and she is happy with him, but if you make some big scene when they get back here, I guarantee she will no longer be happy. You are going to set her off on an unnecessary meltdown, after she's done so well for the last couple weeks. Is that really what you want to do?"

"So, let me get this straight… You allowed your criminal boyfriend, to take my vulnerable, emotionally scarred sister somewhere, after he already proved to be untrustworthy and a threat to my family. And you honestly expect me to be calm and collected when they return here? Don't count on it. In fact, I'm going to kill him. Literally."

"You're not going to do a damn thing to him," Jasper said warningly, and then stood up as if he was willing to fight him off to protect Edward.

Emmett looked at him confused. "I'm not going to fight you. You can hardly stand on your own."

"Well, you're not going to touch Edward either, unless you're willing to go through a crippled war vet to do it," Jasper said shamelessly.

"Why do you even care so much?" Em asked him confused. "I just don't get how you let that guy scam you into taking his side. I thought you were smarter than that?"

"Maybe if you stay calm when they get here, and give them a chance to explain, you will understand," he told him. "But I promise you, if you explode on him, and freak out Alice, I will kick you out of here so fast that you won't even know what hit you. Don't let my bum leg fool you. I can still kick your ass without a problem."

Emmett turned back to me, and looked like he was going to argue some more, but that was when Edward's car pulled up in front of the house.

"Don't test me!" Jasper warned Emmett.

The three of us waited for what seemed like a very long couple of minutes, until finally the front door opened and Alice came bouncing inside.

"Emmett, you're here!" she said excitedly, before running to her little brother, and hugging him tightly.

Her very vocal and physical greeting was definitely new for Emmett, so he froze and just stared at her for a moment. When that initial shock wore off, he finally said hello, and then glared at Edward as he timidly entered the living room.

"Emmett… I wasn't expecting you to visit today," Edward said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I bet you weren't," Emmett replied bitterly. "Where are you just getting back from with my sister?"

"We went to go see Dr. El," Alice told him, surprising him even more. "Emmett, guess what. Bella is going to have a baby, and I get to be the grandma. Isn't that funny? Mom wanted you and Rose to have a baby so she could be a grandma, but I get to be one first. And Bella said I can hold the baby whenever I want. Right, Bella?" she asked me excitedly.

"Uh… That's right," I assured her. Emmett, on the other hand, was beyond confused. He had never heard Alice say so much at a time, and the content of what she was saying must have made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever, but there was at least one part he seemed to get…

"Did she say you're going to have a baby?" Emmett asked me, much more gently than I was expecting.

I nodded. "Yep. Just found out right after Thanksgiving."

"So… that's why you're letting James Anthony over there hang out."

"That's not my name," Edward said impassively.

"Yeah, well I have a rap sheet print out that says it is your name. Now, I want to know where the hell you just were with my sister?"

"She already told you. I took her to her therapy appointment in the city," Edward replied evenly.

"You took her? Why, because Jasper and Bella were both unavailable?" he said in disbelief.

"Emmett, why are you so grumpy?" Alice asked him.

"Because, Bella has a criminal living with you, and that scares me," he explained gently.

"A criminal?" Alice asked confused, and then she looked at Jasper, before looking back at Emmett. "Oh, no, Jasper is not a criminal. He was allowed to leave the military. He even got a metal for bravery."

Emmett clearly lost his train of thought for a moment after hearing Alice speak again, but then he refocused. "Not Jasper. I'm talking about James," he said while pointing to Edward.

"She doesn't know about any of that," Edward said through gritted teeth.

"What don't I know? And why are you calling Teddy, James?"

"Teddy?" Emmett asked confused.

"Its just a nickname she likes to call me," Edward said dismissively, clearly not too keen on the idea of telling Emmett the truth.

"So, you take her to her appointment alone, three hours away, and she has little pet names for you?" Em asked aggravated. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Emmett, Teddy is not a pet," Alice said sternly. "Is that what mom and dad said he was? Maybe they didn't understand, and that's why they wouldn't let me keep him."

"Keep him? Alice, what are you talking about?" Emmett asked, getting more and more confused.

"She's not talking about anything," Edward said quickly, but Alice wasn't about to let it go…

"When I first left Aro's basement, mom and dad wouldn't let me keep Teddy because they didn't think I was ready for a pet. But Teddy wasn't a pet. I grew him in my body, and then he came out, and I took care of him."

Emmett stared at her for a moment, and then he looked at Edward, and then at me, and then he looked at Edward again. "What am I missing here?" he asked frustrated.

"I guess I'm not being clear again," Alice said, mostly to herself.

"No, Alice, you don't have to…" Edward tried stopping her, but Alice wouldn't stop.

"I need to be clear, because I wasn't before and they took you from me," Alice told him, then she turned back to Emmett. "Teddy is my baby. I had him in the basement… but then people came and took us out of the basement, and they took him from me. I didn't see him again until I came here to see the horses. Bella found him for me, and she said we can stay together now."

"What the fuck?" Emmett said slowly, and then he turned back to Edward, obviously searching for some kind of verification.

There was no more denying it, so Edward shrugged. "Should I call you 'Uncle Emmett', or is just 'Emmett' still fine?"

Emmett absently began shaking his head in a clear state of denial. "No," he finally managed to choke out. "I don't believe it…. It's not even possible. Alice is only thirty six, and you're…"

"I'm twenty four," Edward confirmed emotionlessly. "Trust me, I know it's fucked up, but its still true."

"So… you want me to believe, Alice got pregnant when she was eleven, then gave birth in that fucking dirty basement alone, and then raised a kid for – how ever many years – until she was rescued?"

"They estimated me to be around five when we were removed from the basement," Edward told him. "Nobody knows for sure how old I was since Aro didn't exactly record the blessed occasion," he said sarcastically.

Emmett stared at them blankly as he tried to process that shocking information. I had no idea what he was thinking or how he felt about the situation, but I certainly wasn't expecting what came next…

"So… you… you guys aren't lying, are you? Like… you're really my nephew?" Em asked as the shock wore off, and the realization of the truth hit him full force. Like a flash flood, suddenly Emmett was practically drowning in his own tears, and then he grabbed Edward in the biggest bear hug I had ever seen him give anyone. He sobbed uncontrollably, and kept telling Edward how sorry he was for ever being mean to him. All the while, Edward looked to be extremely uncomfortable due to more than just Emmett's suffocating embrace. He was definitely not used to physical displays of affection from other grown men.

I had no idea how long Em squeezed Edward for, but eventually he did let him go enough to grab his face in his hands, and then he actually began kissing his forehead and his cheeks, and pretty much the rest of his face as well. If Edward was disturbed by Emmett's hug, he was down right appalled by his kisses.

"Okay, stop!" Edward finally managed to yell out, and he needed to physically push him off of him before Em would back off. "Jesus. Do you even have any spit left in your mouth?" he asked while wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry, I've just never been an uncle before, and I never thought I ever would," Em said emotionally. "I'm going to take care of you for now on. I promise you. You won't ever have to want for anything."

"Uh… I don't need you to take care of me," Edward said evenly, but Em wasn't really listening.

"Whatever trouble you're in, I'll make sure you get out of it," he continued.

"I'm not in any trouble," Edward said, but Em went on like he hadn't even spoken.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past, I'm going to make it okay. I'll hire the best lawyers, and make sure you get your life straightened out."

"Emmett, stop!" Edward said, having heard more then enough. "I'm fine. I'm not in any trouble. I don't need your help with anything."

"But… That Victor Laurent guy said you guys had something in the works," Em said confused.

"He was just bullshitting. I haven't spoken to that guy since before I worked for Rose on your place, and I haven't broken any laws since the last time I was arrested."

"You've been arrested?" Alice asked in a concerned panic.

"Shit," Edward mumbled under his breath. "Its okay. Just a misunderstanding," he lied in an effort to calm her.

"Where have you been all these years?" Emmett then asked him, wanting to know all there was to know about his long lost nephew. "Why weren't you with us all along? Alice said something about my parent's wouldn't let her keep you? I don't understand how that could even be possible. My parents would never send away their own flesh and blood."

Edward shook his head. "I am no more their flesh and blood than I am Marcus Aro's. I know it upset Alice when I was sent away, and I was angry for a long time too, and I did a lot of shitty things because I was so angry, but honestly, I get it now. I don't blame your parents anymore. I wouldn't want a living breathing reminder of that monster lurking around either. The only one responsible for my miserable existence is Aro..."

Alice abruptly became angry from Edward's words, so she grabbed him by the shirt, and forced him to look at her. "I already told you. You are not Aro's anything. You are mine. I brought you into the world. You came out of me, not him. I would have never survived that basement without you. I lived every day for you. I loved you. Aro didn't. He didn't care what happened to you, so stop saying you were his. You were never his. Only mine… and now I share you with Bella. You can only belong to the people who love you, and those are the only people that matter. Me, and Bella, and Jasper…and I think Emmett loves you too now. No more talk of Aro. He doesn't even exist anymore. Got it?"

Edward let out a hard breath, and then said "Yeah, I got it. I'm sorry."

Alice looked at Emmett. "Part of being a parent is you have to repeat yourself sometimes. I always had to tell him not to do something like five times before he would listen. You'll see, whenever you and Rose finally decide to have kids… Oh, but don't worry, I'm sure your kids will come out a lot smaller than Teddy is now. He used to be a lot smaller too, and now look how big he is," she said full of pride.

"So… all that time… All those days and nights when you used to cry for your teddy bear, you were crying for him," Emmett said while shaking his head. It wasn't a question, he still just couldn't believe poor Alice had to suffer so long unnecessarily. "Mom and dad had to have had a reason. I just can't see them doing something like that. I mean, mom used to sit up all those nights and cried with you. It just doesn't make any sense."

"Emmett, you need to realize that they're the evil ones," Alice told him casually. "They steal babies and sell them to different people."

"I just don't believe it," Emmett maintained.

"Well, I am not letting them anywhere near Bella's baby. I won't give them a chance to steal it like they stole Teddy from me," Alice insisted.

"So… this is the real reason why you got them to give you the deed?" Emmett asked me. "Alice doesn't want to be anywhere near them, so… are you like, going to try to sue for her guardianship?"

"We haven't worked out all of that just yet, but no. I got the deed because you were trying to get us kicked out of here," I told him. "I wasn't sure how far you were willing to take it, and with me being pregnant now, I just didn't want to be homeless."

"Bella… I'm so sorry," Emmett told me. "I know that doesn't undo any of the horrible things I said, but it's sincerely true. I am truly sorry for everything."

"Why are you sorry?" Edward interjected. "Nothing's changed. I still did all those things you wanted me to get kicked out for. So why now are you sorry? If having Aro's DNA doesn't matter, then why does sharing DNA with you change your opinion on me? It can't really go both ways. Either blood relations matter, or they don't."

"I don't give a shit about Aro's blood, I only care about my blood!" Emmett said strongly. "You're my blood, and you should have never been separated from our family."

"Do you really think it would have made a difference?" Edward tried arguing.

"Of course it would have! I would have taken care of you," Emmett told him.

"You would have taken care of me?" Edward scoffed. "You're only a few years older than me."

"Doesn't matter. We should have been raised as brothers. You should have grown up with me as your older brother, and I would have taken care of you. I would have made sure you didn't get into any crap that would end up on your permanent record. You got dealt a shit hand in life, and we were stripped of the chance to be together. It's fucked up, and I'm not going to take it lying down," Emmett said angrily before turning and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"To my parents house. I'm going to demand answers."

"Emmett, don't," Edward told him. "There's no point."

"Emmett," Alice cut him off. "Tell mom and dad that I don't want to see them anymore. Tell them to not come here, and to stop calling, and to never try to contact me again."

Emmett stared at her for a moment, unsure how to respond.

"Alice, I don't want you to lose your parents over me," Edward said to her.

"I lost them a long time ago when they made the decision to take away the only thing that mattered to me. Why do you think I stopped speaking to them? I don't want to see them again. Emmett, please make sure they understand that."

"Okay Alice. I will tell them," Emmett assured her, and then he walked out the door.

"Regardless of what they did, they're still your parents," Edward continued to try reasoning with her. "They probably thought they were doing what was best for you."

"Well, what's best for me now is to not see them anymore."

"Uh, I hate to interrupt, but… is something burning?" Jasper asked.

"Oh shit!" I shouted, and then raced to the kitchen. Luckily the sauce wasn't on fire quite yet, but it was definitely burned to the point of it being completely inedible. "Damn it."

Edward had followed me into the kitchen, and he immediately started snickering.

"Don't say anything!" I tried warning him seriously, but I couldn't help but smile. He was just too damn cute.

"Aww, babe. I just love you so much," he said while wrapping me in his arms, and kissing my forehead.

"You love me because I can't even cook jarred spaghetti sauce to save my life?" I grumbled into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled. "I love you because you are absolutely perfect in all your beautiful imperfections."

"Is that even a compliment?" I asked while finally looking up at him.

"It is. I wouldn't want you any other way," he said tenderly. "Now here, let me wipe off all of Emmett's slobbers on you," he added while rubbing his face on the top of my head.

"Eww, stop!" I shouted at him, and tried to break free from his grasp, but it was of no use. He was far too strong for me to escape.

We ended up laughing on the floor as I continued to try to struggle out of his arms, until Alice walked in and stepped over us.

"Well, it's a good thing I'll be here for that baby. Someone needs to be a grown up around here," she said to us before going into the pantry, and trying to find something we could all eat for dinner.

"I'll help you, Allie," Jasper said while also stepping over Edward and me.

"I think we should just leave them to it," Edward suggested.

"I guess so," I giggled.

Edward stood, and then offered me his hands so he could help me up, but the moment I got to my feet, I was pulled straight up and over his shoulder. I screeched, so he slapped me on the ass, and then raced us up the stairs so we could continue our playful rough housing more privately.

Once again, we had endured another extremely emotionally charged day. I worried about the confrontation Emmett was heading towards, but at the same time, there was nothing we could do about it at the moment, so there was no point in stressing. For the time being, we were just going to enjoy each other, and I was so grateful for how far Edward and Alice had both come in such a short amount of time. Not so long ago, that hostile encounter would have upset both of them to the point of it taking over the rest of the evening, but there they both were, still happy and functioning normally, and I couldn't ever have asked for anything more than that…


	16. Ties That Bind

**Chapter 16 – Ties That Bind**

"Did you ever stop to ask yourself if giving a criminal access to your bank account is a good idea?" Edward asked me as he was looking through the bills.

"I may have thought twice about it if I knew you were a criminal before I gave you the access," I admitted teasingly. "If you can't handle it, I can ask Jasper. He was always good with numbers."

"Or you could just have Alice do it," Edward replied like a smartass. "I'm sure we'd end up with five more horses, and none of the other bills paid."

"She does love those horses," I agreed. I glanced out the window, expecting to see Alice out frolicking with the horses, as she so often did around that time of day, but instead what I saw nearly gave me a heart attack. "What the hell?"

Edward looked to see what I was talking about, and he sighed. "There's never a dull moment around here," he grumbled as we both headed out front.

"Please tell me you've started a new moving business?" I asked Emmett as he exited the large moving truck he had just pulled up in.

"You didn't even ask her before we did this incredibly impulsive irrational life changing move?" Rosalie asked her husband as she got out of the passenger side of the truck.

"No way. I didn't want to give her a chance to say no," Emmett said casually.

"Say no to what exactly?" I asked, seriously hoping I was jumping to the wrong conclusion in my own mind.

"We're moving in. And don't say no, Bella, we already put our condo on the market and quit our jobs so we could move out here."

"Why?" I asked baffled.

"Because I already missed too much time with my nephew. Hey, there he is," Emmett said excitedly when he spotted Edward standing on the porch.

"God help me," Edward mumbled, and then they both took off running as Emmett chased after him.

"I just want to hug you!" Emmett called after Edward.

"You know, I'd almost expect this kind of rash thing from Emmett, but I have to say, I'm shocked he convinced you to go along with it," I said to Rose.

She rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. I am still shocked he got me to agree to this too."

"So… why did you agree to - whatever the heck you guys are planning to do here?" I asked, still clueless as to what they were actually doing.

"Emmett was really upset. Apparently he confronted his parents about taking Alice's child from her… I guess it didn't go very well."

"What do you mean? What did they say?" I asked concerned.

"I don't know. He really didn't want to talk about it. He literally started crying and got choked up when he tried telling me. I've never seen him like that before, Bella. All he was really able to say clearly was that he didn't want to miss out on his family anymore, and since his family is here, this is where he needed to be. I thought he talked to you. I would have never just showed up like this if I knew he didn't."

"Rose, you love your job," I said, still stunned she would leave it all behind on a whim.

"I do, but I can be a teacher anywhere. This was incredibly important to him; I've never even seen him want anything as much as he wanted this. What kind of wife would I be if I said no? So here we are. Look, we don't want to impose. We plan to buy a house nearby as soon as our condo sells. Hopefully it'll only be a couple weeks or so. We can go rent a hotel room in town if this is going to be too much trouble."

"Of course it's not too much trouble," I told her. "Jasper hasn't moved into the apartment yet, so you guys are welcome to stay up there as long as you need."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "You know, I wasn't thrilled by the idea of moving out to the boondocks, but I am glad to be closer to my best friend again."

I smiled at her, and then accepted her embrace. "You are going to go absolutely nuts out here," I warned her. Rosalie was a city girl through and through, and she definitely hated dirt, which was pretty hard to avoid while living in the country.

"I know, but I'll get used to it eventually... at least I hope I will."

I couldn't do anything but laugh at her.

"Anything for love, right?" she sighed. "Oh Bella, I just can't believe Edward is Alice's son. How crazy is this world?"

"Pretty crazy," I agreed.

"Well, I guess you were right to be suspicious though. I mean, you were so sure there was something off about him. I guess you should have listened to your instincts."

"No, I'm glad I didn't listen. I would have never allowed myself to fall in love with him if I had. It all happened the way it was supposed to," I concluded.

"I guess so. Speaking of which, I hear a congratulations is in order? I can't believe you are having a baby before me."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get off the pill and get to baby making already," I teased her.

"I have been off of the pill for a couple years now," she said despondently.

"Oh… Rose, you never told me that."

"It's not something I really enjoy talking about." She sighed. "If it's meant to be, it will happen… someday."

I rubbed her shoulder supportively, and then all three of the guys walked back over to us.

"So, where are we bunking?" Emmett asked me.

"The apartment is available," I said while pointing up the stairs to the left of us.

"Perfect! Thanks, Bella. This really means a lot to us," Emmett said while getting emotional, and then reaching over to hug me.

"It will be nice to have you guys close by again," I told him honestly. Despite our recent rift, I really did love both Emmett and Rosalie, and I was truly glad to have them there.

We all pitched in to unload the moving truck into the apartment, and as I passed Edward during a load, he couldn't help but grumble -"You are far too welcoming. Do you have any relatives left who don't want to move in here? Maybe we should send out a mass open invite."

"Hey, technically Jasper is my only relative here. The rest are your family," I pointed out.

Edward grimaced at me, but otherwise let it go, and continued to help unload furniture and boxes from the truck. After only making two trips up the stairs, however, I was exhausted with my early pregnancy fatigue, so I sat on the porch swing and just watched for a bit. It was always a good day when I could sit back and watch Edward running up and down stairs while carrying heavy objects. He really was sexy, and gorgeous, and pretty much the most perfect man I had ever laid eyes on, and I still couldn't believe I got so lucky as to call him mine.

When the truck was just about empty, far sooner than I was expecting, I went up to the apartment to see if I could help them unpack. "Wow, you guys didn't bring much at all. Where is the rest of your stuff?"

"We knew you didn't have a lot of space to spare for us. We left a lot of it at the condo, so when it sells we will just put it all in storage until we get our own place," Rose explained.

"Actually, I think we should just stay here permanently," Emmett announced. "I mean, it's not like we are just in a little guest room like we were expecting. This place is plenty big for us long term."

"Emmett, we can't just live off of Bella forever," Rose argued.

"We won't be, we will contribute financially. I just really think it's the best situation considering…"

"Considering what?" I asked when Em let his sentence trail off.

"Well… I wanted to talk to you without Alice around," he paused to look out the door, and then sighed. "She must be back out with the horses. Look, I talked to a lawyer, and they think Rose and I may be able to get her guardianship from my parents… given the circumstance."

"Given what circumstance?" I asked, unsure what exactly he was referring to.

"The circumstance that Alice was traumatized as a direct result of my parent's actions. I asked the lawyer if he thought James could get the guardianship, you know, because he's her son and I know she wants to be with him, but the guy didn't think it would work since he has a record and all. You aren't technically family, so I'm her best option."

"What about just getting her emancipated?" I asked. "I mean, she's come so far. I think she could be responsible enough to make her own decisions now."

"I asked that too. I even called Dr. El for advice, and he said he would testify to get her under my care, but he still doesn't think she's ready to be on her own just yet. At least for now, I think I'm the best option. I don't know if mom and dad will try to take her from here, but I want to make sure she's secure just in case."

"What did they say when you confronted them?" I asked.

"It wasn't good, Bella… It just wasn't good."

"Tell me," I urged.

Edward and Jasper walked in carrying the last of the boxes from the truck, so Em shook his head at me as a subtle way to say that he didn't want to continue the conversation right then. I didn't understand it, but I let it go for the time being.

"Here Jasper, let me get that for you," Rose said while taking the box out of his hands. "You shouldn't be going up and down the stairs like this."

"Nah, it's fine. My physical therapist wants me doing as much as I can. It feels good to be walking stairs now actually."

"He was getting ready to move in here until you guys showed up," Edward muttered.

I smacked him playfully in the gut.

"Ow," he complained. "I only speak the truth."

"Hey, you know what we should do," Em said excitedly. "There's that big open area out past the barn. We could build our own house there. What do you think, Bella?"

"Uh…"

"Or, you could buy your own place on the other side of town," Edward suggested.

"Nah, that's too far from my favorite nephew. I want to be as close as possible so we can do sleepovers, and I can tell you bedtime stories."

Edward just stared at him disturbed, and then shook his head.

"Hey Jazz, do you know anything about the local softball league here?" Emmett asked him. "I was thinking once your leg is good enough for you to run again, we could all join a team together."

"I am not playing softball," Rose stated. "I don't do sports."

"Well, okay, I meant the guys anyway. Jazz, me, and James will just have to parade around in our tight pants and let all the women hit on us, without you ladies there to fight them off."

"I didn't say I wouldn't be there watching, I just don't want to play," she clarified.

"Alright, you can watch Bella's baby while she plays. Right, Bella?" Emmett asked me.

"Uh… sure," I said, just to appease him.

"James, you like softball, right?" he then asked.

"Not particularly … and stop calling me James," Edward said as he and Jasper were working on setting up their TV.

"Why wouldn't I call you by your name?" Emmett asked confused.

"Its not my name," Edward replied evenly.

"Look, you don't have to worry about all that stuff you did before. I told you I'd help in any way I could to get your name cleared. It's no reason to keep up false pretenses. We're all family here," Emmett told him.

"I'm not keeping up with anything. My name is Edward," he told him.

"His name is Edward," Jasper jumped in. "I've seen his license. It says Edward Masen."

"Yeah, but it's fake, right?" Em assumed. "Its not hard to get fake IDs these days."

Edward shrugged. "But it's a really good fake ID. I've been stopped a couple times on the highway, and the cops never doubted it."

"Yeah, okay, but why risk still using it? I mean, its not like there's any current warrants out for the arrest of James Anthony, or anything. Isn't Edward just a name you made up so Rose couldn't run a background check on you and see your rap sheet?" Em asked confused.

"No. My name has been Edward since I was five."

"Why does your records say your name is James Anthony then?" Em questioned.

"Okay, I guess legally my name is James, but it shouldn't be. Alice named me Teddy. That was the only name I knew until I was put into the system. I remember being in the basement and Alice calling me that. I remember it clearly. I also remember a social worker calling me Edward since it was the formal version of Teddy. I liked that name, and I wanted to keep it, because I honestly thought I would be returning to Alice in that basement, and I didn't want her to have to change what she called me. I actually thought that for years. Even after I was old enough to understand that the basement wasn't normal or okay, I still thought someday I'd see Alice again, and she'd want to call me Teddy. I held on to that for… thirteen years, and I fully planned to change it legally when I was eighteen."

"So… why didn't you?" Emmett asked curiously.

Edward shrugged. "Changing one's name legally takes time and costs money. I was always too busy getting into trouble to actually get around to doing it. But regardless of what my legal name is, I've always introduced myself as Edward… even when I was growing up. Some people called me Edward, and some refused and called me James, but it always pissed me off. Those people who renamed me, didn't even keep me long enough for the ink to dry on the legal papers before they sent me back, but I was still stuck with that stupid name moving forward."

"So… why don't you start the process of changing your name legally now then?" Em asked him. "I mean, you have the time and the money now, so just do it. I'm sure you'll want your legal name on that baby's birth certificate, right? And when you and Bella get married, you'll need a legal name then too."

"Yeah… I guess I should," Edward agreed. "I didn't really think of that."

"What's with the name Masen? Does that have any special meaning to you?" Em asked curiously.

"Nah, I just made it up. I've had a couple different legal last names over the years, and none of them ever meant anything."

"So… when you legally change your name to Edward, why don't you change your last name to Cullen?" Emmett suggested.

"Emmett, your parents never wanted me…"

"I don't give a flying fuck what my parents wanted!" he told him strongly. "I'm a Cullen, and Alice is a Cullen, so you and your baby should be too… and Bella will be one when you guys get married. That's the way it should be."

"I don't know…" Edward said while considering it.

"I actually have something for you," Em said while digging in the box sitting on the table. "I wanted to give this to you later when the time was right. I even had some long speech I wanted to recite, but I suppose now is as good of a time as ever. Here." He handed Edward a small box.

"Uh… it's not Christmas, or my birthday," Edward said awkwardly.

"Well, I did miss the last twenty four Christmases and birthdays, but that's not what this is for. Open it," Em urged.

"Okay," Edward said reluctantly, and then opened the box.

I took a step closer to get a better look, and I immediately started tearing up when I realized what it was…

"It's the Cullen Crest," Emmett explained. "Every male in our bloodline has been wearing this crest for the past hundred generations at least. Each one is made of solid gold, and was formed from the same singular mold since our ancestors started wearing them. My dad had mine made for me when I was a baby… then I sort of lost it when I was fifteen, so we had another made… and then I found it again, so I've had two. I would have had a new one made for you, but it takes like six months to come in, so I wanted you to have my extra one. I like to wear mine on a leather wrist band, and that's what yours is attached to as well, but if you don't like it, you can do whatever you want with it. My dad had his turned into a ring, but that always seemed a bit gaudy to me."

"Emmett… I don't think…"

"You have to wear it!" Emmett cut him off. "All the guys do. It's just what our family has always done."

"But your dad wouldn't want…"

"My dad is only one person in our family. It doesn't matter what he wants. I never had a relationship with my grandfather either, it doesn't change anything. It's a tradition... Even if you decide you don't want to use the Cullen name, you're blood. It's important. Here, let me put it on you," Em said, refusing to take no for an answer. He grabbed Edward's arm, and then tied the cuff into place. "It might be a little uncomfortable at first, but you'll get used to it. The leather will mold to the shape of your wrist, and you'll forget you're even wearing it."

Edward looked down at it, then pressed his lips before looking back up at Emmett, and then nodding. "Okay, I'll wear it. Thank you Emmett."

Emmett smiled and became emotional again. "It suits you. This is the way it was always meant to be."

"Please don't kiss me," Edward said concerned when he noticed that look in Emmett's eye.

"I have to," Emmett said, and then he grabbed Edward by the side of the neck, and kissed him hard and loud on his temple. "I love you so much. And I'm not just saying that to be funny, I really do. There's always been something missing in our family, and I know now it was you all along. I felt it when I first met you; I'm sure that's why we were so close so quickly. I just always wanted to talk to you and see you, and I missed you like hell when we weren't here. I think that's why I was so bitter when I found out about your criminal past. I just felt… I don't know, hurt or something, because I cared about you so much, and I thought you were just trying to scam us. I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and I'm so grateful to know the truth and to know we will always be family."

"Um… thank you," Edward replied, obviously feeling uncomfortable from Emmett's words. "I think you're… just swell."

"That's okay. I know you're not comfortable telling me you love me too just yet." Emmett said unfazed. "You know, Bella tells me she loves me. Just saying. That's the kind of family we are. I get it, you weren't raised like that, but we will get there eventually."

Edward raised his brows. "Well, okay then. I guess that's something we can look forward to."

"You'll see," Em said assuredly.

"Speaking of you being family, I guess it's a good thing Edward wasn't raised a Cullen," Rose said to me. "I doubt you two would have ended up together if you were brought up as siblings, the way you and Emmett were."

I looked at Edward, and couldn't imagine a world where I wouldn't love him entirely, but – "Yeah, I guess that would have been weird."

Edward walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms securely. "Nah, we would have still ended up together. We probably would have made Alice a grandma even sooner," he joked before kissing my shoulder, and rubbing my stomach tenderly.

"Oh, I think she's going to be young enough when this one is born," I said while reaching up to the nape of his neck, and knotting my hands in his hair there.

"You guys do actually look good together," Emmett said to us. "Bella, you know I love you, but you were never supposed to be my sister. Edward was supposed to be my brother instead. Everything just got so screwed up, and it pisses me off so much. We all got fucked for no reason."

"So I guess it didn't go so well with your parents?" Edward asked him.

Emmett huffed loudly. "I feel like I don't even know them at all anymore. I just… don't get it. The parents I thought I had would have never…" He let his words trail off once more, and surprisingly, Edward didn't press the matter.

I was beyond curious to know exactly what was said to make Emmett that upset, but I suppose neither Em nor Edward were ready to talk it out just yet. I think even Edward understood just how close the Cullens had been as a family, and for Emmett to turn his back on his parents, it must have been pretty horrible. I knew it weighed heavily on Edward's mind that he was at the center of even more family rifts and estrangement, but he needed to truly accept the fact that none of it was his fault, and until he did, he would continue to beat himself up over it.

The entire situation was incredibly sad. I never in my life would have thought I'd ever see the Cullens so divided, and it was absolutely heartbreaking. I only wished I could somehow understand it. It made me so angry, but in the deepest corner of my heart, I still couldn't believe the couple I had been raised loving and admiring could be so cold. There had to be some kind of reason in their own minds for their actions; I only hoped someday I'd discover it so I could possibly help them understand why they were wrong…


	17. Sins of the Father

**Chapter 17 – Sins of the Father**

Life on the ranch seemed to move quickly, and before I knew it, I was already six months into my pregnancy.

"Well?" Rose asked eagerly when Edward, Alice, and I got home from my latest ultrasound appointment.

I shook my head. "This little peanut was uncooperative again. Legs closed the entire time."

"Ugh! We need to get started on decorating the nursery."

"We can decorate it," Alice told her. "Just has to be neutral."

"That is no fun at all," Rose pouted.

"Just decorate it blue. It's going to be a boy," Emmett said assuredly.

"I think it's going to be a girl," Jasper told us.

"Thank you, Jasper!" Rose nearly shouted. "I knew you were my favorite in-law ever."

"You guys aren't in-laws," Alice told her casually. "At least not yet."

"Oh… Well, when will we be in-laws?" Rose asked flippantly.

"When we get married, of course," Alice said as a matter of fact.

"What the hell? You messing around with my sister?" Emmett asked Jasper intimidatingly.

"Not that I'm aware of," Jasper said awkwardly.

"I don't think he really has a choice in the matter," I teased him quietly. Alice had pretty much claimed that she and Jasper were a couple since they both started living there. I had always teased him about it thinking she wasn't really serious, but perhaps I was wrong after all, perhaps she really did have a thing for him. She sure was insistent.

"Don't think for a moment I won't break your leg just because it's barely healed from your war incident," Emmett threatened Jasper.

"If anyone should be issuing out threats over Alice's honor, it's Edward," Rose pointed out.

"Nah, I think Jasper would make an excellent step-father," Edward joked.

"Everyone can laugh now, but none of you will be laughing when Jasper finally realizes he's in love with me," Alice said nonchalantly.

"Uh…" Jasper said, unsure how to respond to that.

"That's right, Alice, we won't be laughing, because I'll be kicking some Jazz ass," Emmett told her.

"No you won't. I'm an adult, and I can make adult decisions," Alice said strongly. "Don't forget, you are my little brother, not the other way around. You didn't see me threatening Rose when you guys started dating."

"Uh… that was a bit of a different situation," Emmett argued. "You weren't even speaking back then."

"Well, I'm speaking now, aren't I?" she said, refusing to back down.

"You sure are, Alice," Rose jumped back in. "And Emmett is going to work harder on respecting you like the adult you are. Right, Emmett?"

"You're both right, I apologize," Emmett told them. "Listen, if you want to love Jasper, I'll support you."

Alice smiled at him. "Thank you, Emmett."

"Um… okay," Jasper said awkwardly, clearly having no idea what else to say on the matter.

"Hey, back to the baby, let's all place bets," Emmett suggested excitedly. "Everyone should put in a hundred bucks, and whoever guesses the correct gender, and the closest birth weight, wins the pot."

"Or we could not gamble on my child," Edward said casually.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun," Emmett whined.

Edward shook his head no.

"You know, I've been trying hard to be a positive influence on you, but you still get into these downer moods," Emmett grumbled.

"You know what would make me happy?" Edward asked him.

"Bella?" Em replied.

Edward smiled and nodded. "Okay, do you know what would make me happy other than Bella?"

"I don't know," Emmett said clueless.

"To see your pretty little face in the mud," Edward said before attacking him.

"Oh yeah, well you're not going to be too happy when your face is the one that ends up in the mud!" Emmett argued as the two wrestled around on the ground.

"Oh, please let that baby be a girl," Rose said quietly.

"I didn't really care either way before, but maybe Rose is right," Alice agreed. "Boys are so rowdy. I'm glad Jasper is more mature," she said with a smile towards him.

"He's not more mature," Emmett said as he pulled Jasper down to the dirt with them.

The three little boys continued to rough house, so us women got bored and went inside.

"Hey… so, have any of you thought about Esme's birthday at all?" I asked them hesitantly. "She is turning sixty this year, isn't she? I know her friends were all planning that huge party for her."

"Emmett still refuses to talk about them," Rose told me. "I thought he would at least call them on Christmas, but he said their estrangement isn't temporary. It's so weird, I haven't even gone this long without speaking to Esme since I first started dating Emmett. She's been a second mom to me too, and I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss her."

"I'm sad that my mom will be sad for her birthday without all of us there, but I'm still not going to talk to her either," Alice agreed.

"Okay, I just wanted to know where you were all at with them," I said with mixed emotions. My desire to talk to Esme and Carlisle about everything never lessened, in fact, it only grew with the passing of time. I didn't exactly expect their rift to end easily, but I didn't really think it would last forever either. I wanted so badly to find a way to fix everything, and try to find some kind of way to get the family back together, but if Alice and Emmett weren't willing to try, and their parents still had something against Edward, then I supposed there was nothing to be done about it.

"Ow! That was a strong one," I said while trying to rub the spot where the baby had just kicked me.

Alice came over and put her hand on my stomach to feel it. "Teddy used to like to kick my ribs when he was inside me… Of course, I didn't know he was inside me, so I thought I was dying," she said casually.

"Ugh, I can't even imagine having a baby at twelve," Rose said contemplatively. "I don't know how you did it," she said to Alice. "I can't even imagine having one now… and I guess I may never get my chance."

"Having a baby come out hurts a lot. You should be glad you don't have to do that," Alice told her. "Poor Bella doesn't have a choice anymore. That baby is going to rip and squeeze itself out of her whether she likes it or not."

I pressed my lips and nodded. "Yeah… thanks for that graphic image to look forward to, Alice."

"Yeah, maybe I'll talk to Emmett about adopting," Rose decided.

"Well, I can't have a baby again either," Alice told her in an attempt to make her feel better. "The doctors said my body was ruined by my first baby. I'm not upset by it. I wouldn't want to do it again anyway. I hope Jasper is okay not having children."

"But you sure are happy you did it the first time," Rose said with a sigh.

"That's true," Alice agreed. "I would go through all that pain everyday to get Teddy. He made it all worth it… Just like I'm sure Bella's baby will be worth it too… But I still wouldn't want to have another one."

"I'm not really worried about the pain," I said honestly. "I'm not against epidurals."

"What's that?" Alice asked confused.

"It's a numbing medication… so you don't feel so much pain during the birth."

"But it has to be administered with a needle in the spine," Rose added.

Alice grimaced. "That sounds worse than the pain of the birth."

"Okay, men are back. Stop with all the nasty lady talk," Emmett said as the guys walked into the house covered in mud.

"Oh, gross!" Alice shouted at them.

"I hope you are coming inside to shower," I told Edward.

"Nah, I just wanted a kiss," he said to me.

"Don't you dare!" I warned him, but he didn't listen, and laid a big dirty kiss on my lips.

"Ugh!" I said while spitting out the dirt, and trying to wipe my face.

"Emmett, no!" Rose shouted, and then she ran out of the house when he tried to kiss her.

"That's disgusting," Alice said. "But you can still kiss me if you want," she told Jasper.

"Um… I think I'm just going to go take a shower," he said, and then quickly retreated to the downstairs bathroom.

"I'll kiss you," Edward told her, so she smiled and held her arms out to him, and gladly accepted his dirty kiss to her forehead.

"Aww, look how happy she is. How about next time you get all muddy, you can just go straight to her for your kisses, and leave me out of it," I suggested.

"No way, I wouldn't want you to feel left out," Edward said, and then returned to my side, and placed one big muddy hand print on my inflated stomach.

"Thanks… that's… cute… I guess."

"My baby wanted to be included," he explained.

"Oh sure," I said, but couldn't help but giggle.

Edward and I headed upstairs so I could change clothes and he could shower, but Alice must have decided she liked her clothes and face dirty from Edward's embrace, because she skipped off outside towards the horses without even attempting to clean herself up.

"You know, I think I'm a bit more dirty that a simple outfit change could fix," I told Edward suggestively.

"Really? Well, I suppose you're going to have to shower with me then," Edward said before grabbing a hold of my hand, and leading me up to our bathroom.

I giggled when he tried to pull me into the shower fully clothed, but then my laughing quickly ended, and our intense passion took over full force as we impatiently and hungrily clawed at each others clothes to try and get naked as quickly as possible.

My growing belly didn't slow our love life whatsoever, if anything, Edward's confidence in himself only grew with it. His obsessive freak outs over his blood and other bodily fluids, became a rarity; in fact, I couldn't even remember the last time he insisted on using a condom. I wasn't sure if it was due to the closeness of his family, or his therapy sessions with Dr. El, or just time, but I was beyond grateful that he wasn't hating himself the way he used to. Seeing him grow into himself, and thrive doing it, was a definite turn on, and I found myself lusting after him more than ever.

When we were finally clean, as well as good and satisfied for the time being, we made our way back down stairs. Jasper was sitting at the table drinking some coffee, but it seemed Emmett and Rosalie were still enjoying their own clean up time alone in the apartment.

"Did Alice ever come back in?" I asked Jasper.

"No, I think she's still out with the horses."

"I better go finish that barn roof while the weather is good," Edward told us. "I'll be out there if you need me," he said before kissing me quickly, and then heading outside.

"Oh hey, you got some mail here," Jasper told me. "There's no return address. Edward got one too that looks like it's in the same handwriting, but it's addressed to 'James Anthony'. That's weird, right? Didn't his name change legalize last month?"

"Yeah, that is odd," I said while taking the letters out of Jasper's hands, and looking at them. They were definitely in the same handwriting, and surprisingly, I knew exactly whose handwriting it was. "These are from Carlisle."

"Oh… Well, that's… interesting," Jasper said.

"Interesting indeed," I agreed. I wasn't sure if I should wait and talk to Edward, or maybe even Emmett, before I opened my letter, but the suspense was killing me, and I couldn't wait. What could he possibly be writing to me about? I was even more curious about Edward's letter, but that one would have to wait for him.

I opened the envelope addressed to me quickly, but a wave of apprehension washed over me before I could unfold the paper inside. Why would he write to me, of all people? Why not Emmett, or even Alice? I didn't understand it, and a part of me was scared to read it to find out. I opened the paper anyway, and braced myself while I read. Sure enough, my heart sped as Carlisle's words raced through my mind, and then I finally realized exactly why Emmett was so hesitant when we asked about his conversation with his parents about Edward.

"Hey, I think I need to run to the lumber yard," Edward said, making me jump. I didn't even realize he had come back to the house. "It looks like that piece of roof is all rotted out. I need to replace it before it rains again."

"Okay," I said flustered, while subtly attempting to hide his letter.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked concerned.

"Nothing. I was just hoping we wouldn't have to replace the roof so soon," I lied poorly. If Carlisle's letter to Edward said anything close to what mine did, then I didn't want him to see it or ever known it even existed. We had come way to far to have something like that screw it all up.

Jasper, on the other hand, had no idea what the letter had said, and didn't know I was trying to hide them. "Oh hey, there's a letter there for you," he told Edward.

"Shit," I said to myself quietly.

"For me?" Edward asked surprised.

"Its nothing!" I said a little too loudly. "Junk mail."

"I thought you said it was from Carlisle?" Jasper said clueless.

"I got a letter from Carlisle?" Edward said shocked. "That's… weird."

"Bella got one too…" Jasper let his words trail off when he noticed the horrified expression on my face.

"What is it?" Edward asked me.

"I don't think it's worth reading whatever Carlisle has to say," I told him. "I mean, Emmett had a reason to cut ties with him."

"You got a letter too?" Edward asked, ignoring my previous comment. "What did it say?"

"I didn't even finish reading it. It doesn't matter…"

"Bella, what did it say that has you so upset?" he persisted. "Where is my letter?"

"Its not worth reading," I insisted, but he spotted the letter with his former name on it, and took it despite my protests. "Edward, really…" I tried stopping him, but he opened the envelope and unfolded his letter anyway, and started reading it.

I watched his face as he read Carlisle's words silently, and I could clearly see the shock and hurt in his eyes as he assumedly read the truth about why he was ultimately separated from Alice all those years ago. When his shock morphed into horrified disturbance, I could actually see every last bit of progress he had made over the past several months, go trickling down the page and right out the window. It was all undone that quickly, and I couldn't remember ever feeling more angry than I was right then at Carlisle. Did he really not know the damage he would do with that letter? I honestly hoped not, because that would have been inexcusable.

"Edward?" I said quietly when it became obvious that he was no longer reading, and was just staring blankly at the page. "Can I see it?" I asked carefully.

"Was his letter to you a warning that I may turn into a psycho serial killer too?" Edward asked me emotionlessly. "I did try to tell you I had evil blood. This just proves it." He dropped the letter onto the table, and then turned and headed for the door.

"Edward, where are you going?" I called after him.

"I told you, to get some wood to fix the barn roof," he said evenly, and then disappeared out front.

I watched through the window as he got into his car and drive away, and my heart nearly leapt into my chest. If he was really getting lumber, he would have used our work truck, not his little car.

"Jasper, can you please get Emmett," I asked in a panic.

"What did those letters say?" Jasper asked as he got right up and headed for the side door. He didn't wait for me to answer before he hurried out to the apartment.

Emmett took hours to get to where I was in the kitchen, or it could have been only a few minutes and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. I felt like the world was spinning, and I couldn't even stand up straight from the dizziness that it created.

"What happened?" Emmett asked concerned when he saw me sitting at the table, with my head buried in my hands.

I couldn't even speak, so I just handed him the letter, which he then read out loud for Rose and Jasper to hear…

" _Dear James,_

 _How do I even begin a letter like this? I want you to know, I have never gone a day without thinking about you, and worrying about your welfare. I know you may not believe me when I tell you that I have always loved you, but it's the God's honest truth._

 _I have been following your life from afar, for as long as I've known you existed, and I have been keeping track of you the best I could. I knew every time you were moved to a different home as a child. I received copies of all your doctor reports, as well as the grades you got in school. It pained me greatly to know you were never able to find a loving family, and I wanted nothing more than to bring you home with us. I agonized over it, and had countless sleepless nights as a result of your absence._

 _As you grew up, I was made aware every time you got into trouble with the law as a teen and an adult. I saw every police report, as well as every arrest photo in their database. I know it may not mean much to you now, but I have always done what I can to see that you were able to get out of jail as promptly as possible, even if you were never aware of my involvement_."

Emmett paused his reading, and looked up at me. "Did Edward read this crap?"

I nodded. "It gets worse."

Emmett shook his head. "Damn it! I knew this shit would come out eventually. What the fuck was my dad thinking?"

"I don't understand?" Rose said slowly. "What's so bad about your dad always helping Edward out of trouble? I mean, he should technically still be in jail for some of the things he did. Without your dad's involvement, he probably would be."

"Well, instead of helping anonymously, he could have reached out and helped him in person," Jasper suggested. "Had he have known he had family who cared about him, maybe some of that stuff wouldn't have happened."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I said to my dad when he told me all of this," Emmett agreed.

"Well, what was his response?" Rose asked.

"Its all in that letter," I said absently.

"That fucking bastard!" Em shouted. "He didn't even have the balls to come talk to him about this shit in person."

"What?" Rose asked, getting frustrated.

"Just finish reading it," I told him.

Emmett shook his head angrily, and then picked the letter back up…

" _Please know that I alone made the painful decision to keep you away all along, and Esme was completely in the dark. She only learned of your existence recently, and we have struggled as a result. I have never seen my wife so upset and heartbroken than when she heard of your lonely life away from us. I would give anything to have been able to spare you all that pain, however at the time, and even now, I knew I made the only choice possible given the information I received when you were first discovered with Alice._

 _Let me start off by saying, the police and social workers were not even sure you were Alice's child at the time you were found. I regret to be the one to tell you this, but Alice was not Marcus Aro's first abduction and abuse victim, nor was she his last. He abducted and murdered three other children that we know of during the time he had Alice. How she managed to survive so long when the others didn't, I have no idea, but I will be forever grateful she did. But because of the other children, we couldn't be sure who you were in the beginning. After the DNA test came back as a match for Alice, I requested to have you returned to her, but I was heavily advised and persuaded not to. You have to understand, my main concern was trying to get Alice's life back to some form of normalcy, but that was not the reason for your separation._

 _Marcus Aro's first assault victim was his younger sister when he was ten. Two years afterwards, he murdered his mother in her sleep, but because he was a minor, and he spent three years in a juvenile detention facility where he displayed good behavior, he was released from jail and his record wiped clean. I would have said he was just an evil psychopath, however that was not even the beginning of his story. His father, Caius Aro, was serving a life sentence in prison for the brutal murder of his own sister, and before that, his father had also committed several heinous crimes against members of his immediate family. They have a long history of violence and mental illness in their family, and the psychologist who I consulted, all agreed that mental illness, psychosis, and psychopathy were all inherited genetic disorders in the case of the Aro family."_

Emmett abruptly dropped the paper again. "Okay, I've read enough. I can't believe my dad would just dump this shit on him like that."

"So… He's saying he didn't keep him because he was worried he'd turn into a psychopath and end up harming someone in the family?" Jasper asked confused.

"He told me the same bull. He judged him as a child, based on what his psycho father and grandfather did. I never heard of mental conditions being genetic, but he insisted it's what three separate doctors told him."

"Emmett, is this the real reason why we moved out here so quickly?" Rose asked him. "Were you worried that Edward would snap and hurt someone, so you wanted to be here to protect Bella and the baby?"

I raised my brows at him questionably. It definitely would make sense considering the type of person Emmett was.

Emmett didn't answer right away, which was pretty much a confirmation.

"Look, I'm not in agreement with my dad by any means," Emmett finally said. "I think the situation could have been handled vastly different. I think if he was at all concerned about Edward becoming a psycho killer, he should have kept him close and made sure he got all the mental help he needed in order to try and thwart those tendencies. I'm so angry with my dad, it's like I see red when I think about it."

"Emmett, that wasn't a denial," I pointed out.

He huffed. "Fine, the thought did cross my mind that I should be here to protect you and the baby," he admitted reluctantly. "But it was only a fleeting thought. I really, really freaking love that guy, and the more time I've spent with him, the more I know that shit would never happen. Edward isn't an Aro, he's a Cullen, through and through. Whatever mental crap he's suffering, is a hundred percent the result of his upbringing, and being thrown away over and over by the people who should have taken care of him. People like my dad."

"So, you're saying that instead of saving the family from Edward's potential mental breakdowns, he only created issues for him?" Jasper asked.

"Yes!" Em nearly shouted. "All that kid has ever needed was to be loved. He needed his family and for us to just love him, and my dad couldn't even handle that. He let Alice suffer all those years, because he was scared of what a little child could possibly become. How can he even call himself a doctor?"

"What did your letter say?" Jasper asked me.

I shook my head just thinking about it. "It was mainly Carlisle warning me about the mental issues Edward or 'James' rather, may have. He also urged me to have my baby under strict psychologist supervision, basically from birth on. I don't even know how he found out I was pregnant. I certainly haven't talked to him since he signed the deed over to me."

"I told him when I confronted him," Emmett informed me. "I told him you and 'James' were a couple and expecting a baby. He definitely freaked a little. He said something about how Charlie would have killed him for letting that happen. Apparently, your dad was originally the one with all the police contacts, keeping tabs on Edward's legal file and mug shots."

I sighed. "Of course he was," I said, knowing that was probably more than accurate. My father and Carlisle had always remained close up until the day he died, so it made sense he would have helped him with that.

"So… your mom wasn't aware that Edward even existed?" Rose asked.

"I knew they were having severe marriage problems for a few weeks before I found out about all this," Emmett explained. "My mother had confided in me that she found some evidence that my dad had an affair twenty five years ago. It upset her, but she didn't know how to confront him about it, or if it was even worth it since it was so long ago. I told her she should absolutely confront him. I was pissed thinking he cheated on her, but I wasn't hateful of him like I became after learning the real truth."

"So the affair she thought he was having was… Edward?" Rose asked confused.

"Well, she found the print outs of all of Edward's mug shots from over the years, in my dad's office somewhere. She recognized him as being your boyfriend," Emmett told me. "I guess even before that, when she did meet Edward here, he looked so familiar to her that she thought he could be my dad's illegitimate son. Then she found the mug shots, and in her mind it pretty much confirmed he was the result of an affair."

"So that's why she was so upset the last couple of times I saw her," Rose concluded. "She thought Edward was Carlisle's son."

Emmett nodded. "So, not only did he traumatize Alice and Edward, and screwed up their lives, he also had my poor mom convinced he cheated on her all those years ago. She was devastated."

"So, why are you not speaking to her anymore then?" Rose asked confused. "I mean, it sounds like she was completely innocent in this whole thing."

"She was… until she learned the truth. She went from being hurt from thinking my dad cheated and fathered a child with some other woman, to taking his side completely. She told me she loves my dad and would stand by him no matter what. It was pathetic."

"Was it though?" Rose asked him. "I would stand by you no matter what… even if I thought you were wrong… and really, was he even wrong?"

"Woman, what the hell are you talking about?" Emmett said incredulously. "There's standing by your spouse, and then there's ignoring the fact that he tortured their disturbed daughter by taking her child from her, and justifying it by some insane theory that psychopathy is a genetic disorder. I'm sorry, my father is wacked, and if I started saying and doing crazy shit like that, I hope you would walk away from me."

"But if he had multiple psychologists telling him that he should not bring Edward into their home, that he could possibly become a threat to his family, how can you blame him for wanting to protect you guys?" Rose asked him.

"Alice cried for him for years," Emmett emphasized. "Years! He knew all the crap Edward was living through as well. He knew he was being tossed around from home to home. He knew he could have fixed it by bringing them back together. He could have done what he warned Bella to do with her baby in that damn letter. He could have just kept Edward under strict psychological care, and made sure he was properly cared for. He didn't. He was a coward, and actually sent a boy out into the world who he thought could be dangerous. That is reckless, if you ask me. If he really believed that shit, he should have never put strangers at risk either."

"Its easy to say all this now, but I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision when he was in the middle of it," Jasper suggested.

Emmett shook his head in disagreement. "Look, none of this even matters. When I told my dad Edward was here with Alice, he was only scared for her and Bella's safety. He never said he wanted to come meet him or be a part of his life. Even now. He made his decision, and I made mine. All that matters now is that Edward knows we all love him. Where did he go?"

I raised my shoulders. "I honestly don't know. He said he needed to get lumber to fix the barn roof, but he took his car. He can't get lumber in his car. So… I'm assuming he just went for a drive to clear his mind… At least, I hope that's what he's doing. I've spent the last six months trying to convince him that his blood wasn't evil, and it didn't matter who his father was… and now… and now with that one letter telling him how dangerous all the men in his bloodline are, I just don't know how he's going to recover from that."

"I'm going to go drive around and try to find him," Emmett announced.

"I'll take my car and look too," Jasper told us.

"Rose… what if he doesn't come back?" I said emotionally.

"Of course he's going to come back," she tried assuring me. "He loves you like crazy… Well, I don't mean crazy - crazy. I don't think he's crazy at all," she corrected herself quickly. "I know he will come back. You, and the baby, and Alice mean everything to him. That has always been clear. I'm sure you were right when you said he probably just went for a drive to clear his head."

I bit my bottom lip, and then nodded with as much confidence as I could muster. I had faith in Edward, truly I did, but he wasn't the most secure emotionally, and I feared what reading those words would have done to him more than I ever feared anything in my life. I just wanted him home and back in my arms.

Jasper and Emmett were gone for a few hours, and when they came back without Edward, I had to be the one to explain to Alice what had happened. She deserved to know the truth, and I refused to lie to her or treat her with kid gloves the way she had been treated all of her life.

It grew late, with no sign of Edward whatsoever, and even though I was scared as hell, Alice refused to accept that Edward might not return at all.

"He will be here soon," she kept saying, completely unfazed.

The five of us sat in the living room and waited for half the night, when finally, well past midnight, a car pulled up out front….


	18. Decisions

**Chapter 18 – Decisions**

I had faith in Edward, truly I did, but the world wasn't kind at times, so when I heard the car pull up out front, I was suddenly terrified that it could be an emergency personnel telling me something horrible had happened to him.

My heart sped, and then I stopped breathing altogether as we waited the excruciatingly long few moments until the front door rattled, and then it finally opened…

"Thank god," I said, but the words were drowned by emotions as I leapt from the couch and straight into Edward's arms.

"Hey, what are you still doing up?" he cooed as he held me securely.

I pulled back just enough to look at him. "What do you mean, of course I'm still up. I've been worried to death about you. We all have been."

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," he said sincerely. "I wasn't even thinking."

Alice came up besides us, so I reluctantly stepped back so she could greet her son. "Don't you ever leave like that again," she told him sternly. "I just got you back."

He nodded, and accepted her embrace, while whispering "I'm sorry."

She pulled back slightly, and then held his face in her hands. "I can't lose you again."

"You won't," he said assuredly.

She nodded, and then looked at me as a subtle way of saying I could have him back. I went to reach for him, but before I could make contact, Emmett swooped in and grabbed him in one of his famous huge bear hugs. "I was so worried about you!" he said while blubbering uncontrollably. "I love you so much. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you."

Edward patted his back uncomfortably. "Em… I can't breathe," he managed to choke out.

"Oh, sorry," Emmett replied before letting him go. "I just… need you to know how much I love you."

Edward nodded. "I love you too, Em."

"Really?" Emmett asked with a new round of tears. "I knew you would say it eventually, I just wasn't expecting it so soon. I love you so much, man," he repeated, yet again.

"Okay, give him a little space," Rose said gently, while grabbing her husband by the arm and urging him to back up.

I didn't want to overwhelm him anymore, the way Emmett seemingly had, but I couldn't help but reach for him again. It wasn't even a choice, I just had to hold him. Thankfully, he only smiled at me and took me back into his arms, and then kissed my forehead tenderly.

"Where have you been?" I asked, with immeasurable relief from finally being with him again. It actually didn't really matter where he was, as long as he was home safe, but I was still curious and beyond concerned for his wellbeing.

He sighed. "I went to the lumber yard, and I was so … preoccupied by thinking about what Carlisle said in that letter, that I didn't even realize I was in my little car until I was already there. It was really stupid; I still can't believe I went all the way over there without the truck." He shook his head by the thought. "Anyway, since I was already out, and clearly foggy brained, I figured I'd just go for a drive to clear my head, and without even intending to go there, or realizing how long I actually drove, somehow I ended up at Dr. El's office."

"You drove all the way to the city?" I asked surprised.

"It was crazy. I don't even remember the drive down there. It's a miracle I made it in one piece. I just… My mind was so jumbled." He shook his head again. "I'm so, so sorry, babe. I never meant to worry you, or stress you out like this. I didn't have my cell phone, and I didn't think to call from his office. I'm sorry."

"Well, were you able to talk to Dr. El?" I asked, knowing he was usually pretty booked up with patients.

"Yeah, he made room for me."

"What did he say?" I asked hesitantly. I never liked to question him about his therapy appointments, since I knew they could be incredibly personal, but I had been so insane with worry about him that I just couldn't help myself.

"Well, he didn't know I existed before the first time I brought Alice there, so he definitely didn't know anything about my… paternal bloodline of psycho killers. He said there have been studies about mental illness being an inherited disorder, but…" He shrugged. "Dr. El isn't a phycologist. He doesn't work on the chemical or biological level of it, he just helps with emotions and how people deal with things. He just went back over the tools he had taught me on how to cope with it all."

"Emotions are no joke," Jasper jumped in. "They can be worse than any physical trauma anyone could ever experience."

"Yeah… so, I mean, of course it's an ongoing thing," he told me. "But… I need you to know… I need all of you to know, that regardless of whatever evil craziness that my… sire and his predecessors did, I have never experienced even a twinge of those types of thoughts. I have never even had the slightest urge to physically hurt anyone before, and I promise everyone here… that I if I ever do, even if it only lasts a moment, I will immediately leave to seek professional help. I hate the idea of anyone living in fear of me possibly snapping one day."

"None of us are scared of you," Emmett said with certainty. "All of that stuff my dad said is bullshit! He's a coward, Edward. That's all there is to it."

"Look, it is a real thing. I looked it up," Edward told us. "There have been instances of kids that were adopted as infants, and grew up in loving homes, who did some horrible things like setting fires while their family slept, or murdered siblings, only to find out later that their biological parent was a psychopath. It can run in the blood.. It does happen. But I need you all to know, that I won't ever let that happen to me."

"Edward, we wouldn't still be here if we were concerned about that," Rose insisted sincerely, and Emmett smiled at her full of love as a result of her words.

"We're all family here," Jasper added. "We will always stand by each other, no matter what."

"I don't want any of you to stand by me if I ever even begin to have those dark thoughts," Edward said strongly.

"I had dark thoughts like that before," Alice admitted to Edward unexpectedly. "I thought about holding a pillow over your face until you died… and, I actually did it once. I put the pillow over you. It only lasted a moment, but it happened."

"Alice," I heard Rose say under her breath out of pure shock.

Alice's eyes were full of regret and pain, but she was strong enough to not back down. "After you first came out of me, Aro came down, and he looked at you, and… he said I did a good job, and that he was proud of me. He even thanked me for having you, because you were a boy, and he only had daughters before... So… after he left, I stared at you for a really long time, and I thought… if I killed you, he would be so angry, and maybe he'd finally kill me too and I'd be free. I thought it may even be the kinder thing to do for you, because I didn't want you to grow up in that basement."

"Well, what stopped you then?" Edward asked her softly. "It may have saved you so many years of misery. I don't think anyone would ever fault you for that."

"Maybe it would have ended… and maybe he would have just beat me and then forced me to live without you. I couldn't have done that. I already loved you so much, and if there was even a chance that you would have died but I would have still survived, then I couldn't take that chance. I didn't know how to take care of a baby, but I found a way to care for you, and I did it because I was selfish and I needed you in order to survive myself… I still do… Can you ever forgive me for almost killing you? For considering taking your life before you even had a chance to live?"

"Alice, there's nothing to forgive. You were a scared little girl in a horrible situation. You did nothing wrong."

"And neither have you," she told him.

He laughed once humorlessly. "I've done plenty wrong. I'm actually grateful that you don't know everything I've done."

"I do know," she contradicted. "Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody has darkness in them. But you have paid for your mistakes, and you have chosen to make yourself better. That's the best thing anyone can do."

Alice reached for him again, and then kissed him on the cheek. "I love you always."

He forced a smile at her. "I love you, too."

"I know, now go take Bella to bed. I think she's about to pass out."

"We all are," Rose agreed before grabbing Emmett's hand and pulling him towards the door. "I'm glad you're okay, Edward," she told him on her way out. "Goodnight everyone."

Emmett stopped to kiss Edward again on his temple. "I love you."

Edward nodded at him. "I love you, too."

"Did you hear him say it again?" Emmett asked Rose as she continued to pull him outside.

"I'm going to turn in as well," Jasper told us.

Alice skipped over to him, and placed her hand on his arm. "Thank you for waiting up with me," she told him, before kissing him sweetly on the cheek. "Goodnight, Jasper. I love you."

Jasper stared at her in shock, once again unsure how to respond, and lucky for him, Edward went to his rescue.

"Yeah, we all love Jasper. He's a pretty great guy," Edward said before giving him a half hug and a pat on the back, thus giving him a chance to escape Alice's advances. "Thanks, Jasper. Sleep well."

"I'm glad you're home," he replied before quickly retreating.

"He's getting closer. I can see it in his eyes," Alice said as she watched Jasper leave.

I giggled at her, I couldn't help it. "You are definitely easy to love, Alice."

"Aww, and I love you too, Bella. And you too," she said to my stomach while rubbing it tenderly. "We are all just full of love around here, aren't we?" she said to me with a big smile.

"Its really great, isn't it?" I agreed.

"It is. Goodnight," she said with a kiss to my cheek as well, before kissing Edward one last time and then skipping up the stairs to her room.

"I… actually don't think I've ever heard the word 'love' used so much at a time before," Edward said jokingly serious. "Not even in chick flicks."

I giggled at him. "Well, I guess Emmett was right. We're just that kind of family."

Edward nodded. "I miss having you alone out here - You know, back when we could have sex anywhere on the property and all, but having everyone here is pretty cool too… I mean, not as cool as sex outside, but.. It's nice."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "We can still have sex outside, we just have to do it at a time when everyone is distracted… or sleeping… A time kind of like now," I told him suggestively.

He pretended to consider it. "Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, sex in our room is just as good," he decided, and then he scooped me up into his arms bridal style, and ran us up the stairs.

When we got to our room, we desperately started ripping each other's clothes off, but when we got onto the bed, however, I could feel him begin to pull back.

"What's wrong?" I asked with a heavy breath.

"Maybe… maybe I should use a condom," he said, taking me aback. It was something he hadn't said in a while, but I suppose with Carlisle's letter being what it was, I should have been expecting it.

"We don't have any left," I told him, trying so hard to conceal my disappointment. All I wanted to do was support him, and I'd never be personally upset by his inability to overcome those occasional mental blocks, because I knew just how hard he struggled with them, but he had been doing so well, and I honestly thought all the loving words of support by our family had saved him from that particular setback.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered to me. He was still hovering over me, and his body was so close to mine that I was actually physically aching for that release that only he could bring me. His breath washed over my face, and the sweetness of it filled my senses and made the yearning pain that much more intense.

"I know you're sorry," I told him honestly while caressing his face. I knew how much he hated himself, and he hated himself even more when that hate got in the way of loving me. I could only imagine how hard that was for him, and I would never grudge him that. "Its okay," I said in an attempt to soothe him.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this shit from me," he continued, but he didn't move from his position over me, which I certainly wasn't complaining about. "I never wanted to stress you out like I did today. I don't know how I let that happen, and that just scares me more that anything. How did I blank out and end up three hours away in the city? If I can do that…"

"You did that because you were upset, and you were trying to get yourself help," I told him. "You did the right thing."

"I didn't even think to call you when I got there. I didn't think about it until I was almost home and I saw the time. I need to do better by you. I need to be better for you."

"You are. Every day you only get better."

"Bella… I need you to know… I need you to be absolutely sure that I will never hurt you. I don't want anyone scared of me, but you most of all. It just kills me to think you might ever feel that way."

I smiled at him. "Didn't we already have this conversation before?"

"That was before Carlisle's letters. If I were you… I think… no, I know I would be terrified of me. You were understandably scared of me when we first met, and I never wanted to make you feel that again, but now…"

"I'm not scared of you," I said quickly. "I trust you entirely, and I'll keep telling you that until you finally believe me."

He stared at me for a good long minute, and then he caressed my face and a look of wonderment washed across his features. "I have never met… anyone more untrusting and fearful of strangers than you, and… somehow, you let me in, and even after everything I've put you through, and the lying about who I was, and all these horrible things that have come out in a short amount of time… you're still here, still loving me. I just don't get it."

"I know you don't get it, but its still true just the same," I told him. "I don't do anything half way."

He laughed once. "No, you certainly don't."

"Edward, I don't think I'll ever be able to properly explain why I love you so much, because it's not something that can even be described in words. It's in every fiber of my being, every breath I take, and every beat of my heart. Someday, I'll find a way to make you actually believe me."

"I do believe you, but I don't think it'll ever make sense to me."

"It doesn't have to make sense, it just has to be true, and it is."

"There's been a lot of love thrown around tonight," he said with slight humor.

"Its good to hear sometimes."

"Yeah, it really is. Nobody ever said that to me before I came here. I really thought it was something that people only said in movies."

"What are you going to do now that you know chick flicks aren't so far from reality?" I teased him.

"I don't know, you really ruined movies for me now. Maybe I'll have to try sci-fi?"

"We could watch that vampire series," I suggested.

"Nah, that's still a chick flick. Besides, I don't like the idea of drinking blood. It's… gross. It's far better to just squeeze the blood out onto the floor."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you would think that," I said, surprised he would joke about it, and I ended up laughing despite myself.

He laughed with me, but then we were kissing again, and the fire between us was burning even hotter than ever before.

We were all over each other. He was everywhere, and he surrounded every part of me, but my body begged for more, and he felt it…

"Bella, I want to be inside you. I want it so bad it's killing me."

I cradled his face in my hands and pressed my forehead to his. "Its okay," I whispered to him, knowing he still couldn't give himself to me completely right then.

"No, it's not okay. I just… keep thinking about how horrible of a person I am for… putting that monster's DNA in you. It's just beating me down right now."

"Then let me take the burden from you," I murmured before slowing rolling us over so I was on top of him.

"Bella, it's still the same thing," he said gently.

"No, it's not. If you do it, then you'll feel like you're doing something to me, but if I do it, then it's just you letting me make that decision for myself. The worst thing anyone can do to someone else, is take away their decisions, so I won't push you anymore to do this of you truly don't want to, but don't not do it because you're worried about what goes inside of me, because that's my decision to make, so let me make it…"

I had no idea if what I said made any sense, but as he unraveled my words in his own mind, I could see the resolve set into his features.

"You're right. I want you… I could never not want you. So … I suppose, if you're okay with what will be in you, then I should be too."

I nodded, and then I leaned forward so I could resume kissing him. He kissed me back with an intense eagerness I wasn't expecting, and it actually took my breath away.

I couldn't wait anymore, so I reached between us to grab ahold of him, and then I whispered. "You sure?" As much as I ached for him, I would never want to force him to do anything he didn't want to do.

"You're the only thing I've ever been sure of," he said confidently. To further prove his words, he placed his hands on my hips, and urged me to move to just the right position. I used my hand, which was still on him, and I guided him inside me, until there was absolutely no space left between us. I paused, and savored the incredible feeling of him filling me completely, and then I began to move. It only took a few thrusts for us to both get lost in the sensation, and the next thing I knew, he was back on top of me and pounding into me with everything he had.

It was everything making love should be. It was hard and raw and painful, but also so soft and sweeter than anything else I had ever experienced. When he climaxed, he didn't freak out or show an ounce of regret. He just held on to me so tightly that I couldn't tell where his body stopped and mine began. There was no separation between us, and we stayed that way until he was ready to go again.

We had done it. We had survived another setback, only to emerge stronger than ever. I didn't even know it was possible to love him anymore than I already had, but it just continued grow. Despite all of his pain and self doubt, he continued to persevere every single day, and I could honestly say he was the strongest person I had ever known. Alice had made him that way, she had given him her strength, and I knew I was truly the lucky one for getting the privilege of having them in my life.

I wanted nothing more than to give him something - something major that had nothing to do with any material objects. After lying awake for a few hours, and just watching him sleep, I thought about the conversation he had with Alice when he got back home, and suddenly I knew exactly what I could do to give him just one more piece of his puzzle. I only hoped it turned out to be a positive piece, instead of setting him back even further. It was a risk I was willing to take, and I was willing to take it because I truly thought it was a necessary part of making him whole...


	19. Risk

**Chapter 19 – Risk**

It had to be one of the most nerve-racking moments of my life. I had written out the email several times, and then deleted it, only to write it again. I checked every word, and rechecked them to make sure everything was just right, and then I agonized over the prospect of actually sending it. Would he see it as a betrayal? Was it a betrayal? I knew I was overstepping, but I also knew the possible benefits could be limitless. My belief that it was worth the risk maintained, and I finally sent the email… and I immediately regretted it.

"Oh my god, what did I just do?" I said to myself in a panic.

All was not lost. If I got a response from the recipients, I could always tell them I changed my mind, but before I completely freaked out, I decided to do what I probably should have done in the first place – I talked to Alice. Having her be a capable adult was a new concept for Emmett and me, and sometimes we had to remind ourselves that's exactly what she was, so I put my faith in her, and decided that whatever feelings she had on the matter, I would go by. Luckily, she agreed with me, and she was actually even somewhat excited, which was definitely unexpected.

When I received the return email later that day, my nerves spiked, and the fact that they were just as eager as Alice was for that meeting, only made me even more anxious. Edward was probably going to hate me for it… or at the very least, be angry. Even with Alice's encouragement, I probably should have put a stop to it, but for whatever reason, I just didn't.

A few days passed, and it was finally the morning of the visit, so I figured it was time to come clean and tell Edward what I did… or at least part of it.

"Hey… uh… so, I have some people coming over today. They're uh… people that I think you should meet," I told Edward hesitantly.

"People? Like, just random people?" he asked with a confused laugh.

"Uh… not random, but uh… you might not like it."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Bella, what aren't you saying?"

"Uh… Please just don't hate me for this, okay," I said ashamedly.

"You know I could never hate you," he argued.

"Eh… maybe wait and see if you still feel that way after today," I said full of anxiety.

"Bella, I think it would be best if he meets them without all of us first," Alice said as she danced into the kitchen. "Jasper is going to take me to ice cream, and we will be back in a bit to say hello."

"You are involved in... whatever Bella is planning that she thinks I'm going to hate?" Edward asked her.

She smiled at him. "You are so cute. Just remember, be nice. Don't embarrass me by not minding your manners. I think this is a good thing, and I'm glad Bella didn't warn you ahead of the time because you probably would have run away. I'll be back later, and they better still be here and in good spirits."

Alice kissed his cheek, and then came over to kiss mine and rub my belly.

"Good luck," Jasper said as he opened the door for Alice.

"Oh, and I told Emmett and Rose to stay in their apartment until later," Alice said before disappearing out the door.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward asked confused.

Just as soon as Jasper's car left the driveway, another car pulled up much earlier than I was expecting.

"Oh god, they're already here," I said while my heart began to race. "Edward, please forgive me for this," I said, feeling like I was about to have a panic attack.

"Who is that?" Edward asked confused as the car pulled up to the house.

I couldn't answer him, I was seriously regretting my decision to not warn him ahead of time. How could I explain it to him without upsetting him too much?

"Um… they are… new friends of mine… sort of."

Edward looked at me confused, but then the driver and passenger doors of the car both opened, and out stepped two of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. They were both absolutely stunning with their super-model flawless faces, long silky blonde hair, and perfect bodies to match, which only made me feel that much more like a beached whale in my bloated pregnancy state.

The appearance of the two gorgeous women, only made Edward that much more confused.

"You must be Bella?" the taller woman said as she walked over to introduce herself. "I'm Tanya, and this is my sister Kate," she said while the other woman approached.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it out," I told them.

"Well, we… without us even realizing it, this has been a long time coming," Tanya told me, and then she turned her attention to the extremely confused and clueless Edward. "I'm… so glad to meet you," she said to him emotionally. "Edward, is it?" she asked unsure.

"Uh… yeah. I'm sorry, who are you?" he asked her.

"I haven't told him anything," I admitted to them.

Tanya nodded. "I see. Edward… Kate and I received an email from Bella a few days ago, and we basically dropped everything to come out here to meet you. We didn't even know you existed until that email, but we both felt we needed to come as soon as we found out."

"I'm sorry, I still don't know who you are," he told her.

"No, and I understand why Bella didn't tell you about us sooner. It's been a source of shame for us for a long time, so it's not something we've ways wanted to talk about either."

"Shame?" Edward asked confused.

"Kate and I are both married now, but we grew up with the last name of Aro," she finally told him.

Edward scrunched his brows. "Aro?"

"We're your sisters," she explained. "Well, half sisters, I suppose."

I watched Edward's face closely, and I braced myself for his reaction. I expected him to refuse them, I expected his anger and words of betrayal, but instead he looked at me in almost a panic. He reached his hand out towards me, and the moment mine connected to his, I could swear I actually saw relief pour off of him. Perhaps he reached for me for support, or for protection, or just for love, but whatever the reason, he must have found what he was looking for, because with our hands connected he was able to stay calm.

"Um, why don't we go inside," I suggested.

Edward looked at me like he wanted to protest my suggestion, but he seemed to let it go quickly, and he even held the door open for them to go in first.

I had already put snacks out in the living room, so we all sat down together on the couches. There was an awkward heaviness in the room, but luckily Tanya seemed to know how to handle it.

"So, you guys are having a baby? That's wonderful," Tanya said, breaking the tension. "My daughter, Bree, will be so excited to know she's going to finally have a cousin. She's been asking Auntie Kate to have a baby for a while now, but she's still waiting."

"As I tell Bree all the time, I'm just not ready to be a mother just yet," Kate replied.

"I don't think we were really ready either," I spoke up. "We probably still aren't, but we're starting to get excited, I think," I said while looking at Edward and hoping for some confirmation.

When Edward didn't respond, Tanya definitely noticed.

"Edward, I know us showing up like this is unexpected, but we just… we needed to come meet you, and see for ourselves that you're okay. I know this might be hard to believe, and even harder to hear, but when our father was arrested, all those years ago, we were completely blindsided. He never… he never showed us that evil side of him. We had a normal childhood, and he was always… kind to us, which is why we were so shocked when we learned of everything he did."

"I don't understand how a man like that could fool anyone into thinking he was kind. He murdered and raped children," Edward said sharply.

Tanya wiped a tear from her cheek, and then nodded. "I know that now, but… he was able to hide it from us somehow. My mother was the one who called the police. She later told us that the basement was always locked because my father told her he kept his illegal classic gun collection down there, which had been passed down from his ancestors. She said looking back on it, there were clues… Like she did see him bringing food and children's clothes down there… diapers. And he'd bring full black garbage bags out. She only saw it a couple times, and he always kept the only key to the lock on him. I thought I heard a baby crying a few times, but my dad would always dismiss it saying it was the wind, or something like that… I know now it was you."

"I heard you too," Kate added. "But we were only children ourselves, and we believed our father, as all children do."

"But one day, our mother was the one who heard something, and she couldn't ignore it, so she called the police," Tanya continued. "We were both at school when the raid happened, so we didn't see you or your mother taken out. We came home and our mom was just crying, and she took us straight to our grandmother's house. She didn't tell us where he went or what he did until we were older. She never told us about you, so I don't know if she even knew. Alice was in the news, so we knew about her, but… there was nothing ever about you anywhere."

"No, Alice's father made sure nobody knew about me," Edward told her emotionlessly.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Tanya told him. "I think I speak for both Kate and me, and my mother if she were still alive, but we… we wanted to apologize to you, and to your mother about what our father did to you both."

"Well, I wouldn't technically be here if it wasn't for what he did," Edward told her.

"I know, and I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you to rectify in your own mind."

"Tanya and I have contacted every one of our father's victim's families that we are aware of," Kate added. "The Cullens were the only ones who wouldn't meet with us. We never blamed them for wanting to keep their privacy."

"Carlisle ran for a government office with Alice's ordeal as a platform," Edward countered. "I think wanting his privacy was never the issue."

"Everyone copes with trauma differently," Tanya told him.

"Alice was also our father's only victim to survive, so maybe the other families would have handled the situation more like they did, had their loved ones been found alive," Kate offered.

"I can't pretend to understand any of the choices Carlisle made for Alice and their family, since I never even met him," Edward told them. "But, quite honestly, I can't really say I blame him anymore. I wouldn't want to see the spawn of the monster who tortured my child either… No offense."

Tanya and Kate exchanged looks, and then they both looked back at Edward. "We understand why you feel that way," Tanya said carefully. "But, as guilty as my sister, and my mother, and I all felt about our father's actions, we needed to accept that it had nothing to do with us. Eventually, we did get there, and I'm grateful our mother found that peace before she died."

"Look, I'm not trying to be judgy, or anything, but… what the hell took your mother so long to look in that damn basement?" Edward questioned with the edge to his tone I had been expecting.

"We are not here to make excuses for her. She blamed herself for a long time, and she can't take it back. My sister and I had a good childhood, but what we didn't know at the time, was that he was very controlling over our mother. He was never physically abusive that we know of, but he was mentally, and it took her a long time to find the strength to do anything against his wishes."

"You know, it strikes me as odd that this monster had two daughters around the age of his victims," Edward said to them. "I'm assuming you're both in your thirties?"

Tanya nodded. "I'm thirty seven, and Kate is thirty four. I realize that your mother is younger than me, and that was devastating to learn, especially because he never laid a hand on either of us."

"No, because he was probably using Alice as a way to get it out of his system so he wouldn't hurt you," Edward said harshly.

"That is also something we have considered over the years," Tanya agreed. "Its hard to think your own safety possibly depended on someone else being hurt, and we would both take it from Alice and the others if we could… but we can't stop living because of it. I don't think that would honor any of them."

"Your life depended on her being hurt as well," Kate added as gently as possible.

"I'm well aware of that," Edward said evenly.

"The last thing we want to do is upset you, we just wanted to share with you," Tanya then said.

"Share with me what?" Edward asked confused.

"Everything," she replied. "Our father worked at the hospital, but he really didn't need to work at all. Our grandfather left him a significant amount of money, and because we always lived modestly, we were able to inherit that money upon his incarceration."

"You're here to offer me money?" Edward asked incredulously. He shook his head. "From what I heard, dear old grandpa was just as evil as Marcus. In fact, most of the Aro generations seemed to be plagued with evil demons. I don't want a dime of any of that disgusting blood money."

"You're still thinking about it wrongly," Kate said to him. "Its not about where the money comes from, anymore than its about where the three of us came from. It's about what we do with it. We can all choose to be good people despite our horrible father, and we can choose a good purpose for that money."

"Kate and I have started a organization to help women and children who are victims of abuse and violence," Tanya explained. "We've put a good portion of that money into it already, but since learning of your existence, we agreed you deserve a right to decide what to do with the rest of it. If you need the money for any reason, please, take it and use it. It's the least those bastards could do… but, if you don't need it, then see that something good comes from it."

"You have our green eyes," Kate said unexpectedly. It was only then did I notice that the two women had the exact shade as Edward, and it worried me - he always stressed by the idea of looking like Aro.

Edward definitely seemed stressed over the news, but Tanya jumped right in. "Don't worry, our father didn't have green eyes, it was his mother, our grandmother. It must have skipped a generation because our father's eyes are dark… Our grandmother was a good woman, so we've always been proud that we have her eyes."

"A good woman that he murdered when he was a child," Edward said bitterly, recalling what Carlisle had said in his letter. "How would you even know she had green eyes, or if she was a good woman?"

"Edward, I don't know who told you that our father murdered his mother, because that simply isn't true," Tanya contradicted him. "She was killed when he was a boy, but it was by his father, our grandfather, Caius. He was an evil, abusive man to his own wife and children. He would force our father to assault his siblings. He'd stand over him and make him continue it until he was satisfied that he had done it the way he wanted it. He later killed our grandmother in front of the kids, and made them live with her body for weeks. Later, he forced our father to falsely admit to the killing so that he would escape conviction. I realize that some mental conditions are genetic, but… I know that's not the case for our family. I'm convinced our father became a psychopath because of the abuse and torture his father did to him and his family. It wasn't inherited, it was learned. His mind was so twisted from a young age, that it's a miracle he was able to hide his darkness at all… which is something his father couldn't do. Caius never had secret victims and pretended to be good in public, he terrorized everyone."

"Our grandmother tried to shield her kids," Kate added. "But back then, she didn't have any way to get away from him. She didn't have the resources… But everyone who knew her, said what a loving woman she was. Her younger sister is still alive in her nineties, and we have a close relationship with her. She too has the green eyes, and she told us so many stories about her. Our grandmother..."

"Irina, was her name," Tanya interrupted.

"Yes, our grandmother Irina, did her best despite her horrible husband," Kate continued. "In fact, I think he ultimately killed her because she had enough, and was willing to even live on the streets with the kids, rather than let the abuse continue. Unfortunately, it was probably already too late for our dad, the damage was already done… Even if she did make it out, it probably wouldn't have helped him anymore at that point."

"So… basically you're saying Marcus was evil due to everything he had been through as a child from his father?" Edward asked.

"That is what we believe," Tanya confirmed. "By no means are we trying to excuse what he did, or lessen it in any way, but I think understanding it can help us cope, even just a little. Bella had mentioned in the email that you were worried about the genetic component to the psychopathy of our family, so we want to assure you, that we have never had any issues with that, and every doctor we ever spoke to on the subject also believes our father committed those crimes as a direct result of his violent and traumatizing abusive upbringing. I honestly believe that you are in no more danger of becoming like him than anyone else in this world. It's not in our blood, Edward."

"That's uh… I don't know what to think about that," Edward admitted. "Its hard to believe something your entire life, and then just let it go because a stranger says to."

Tanya smiled heavily at him. "We understand that, but… perhaps this is just the first step to finally believing it," she offered.

"It doesn't change the fact that he was a monster, and so was his father, and probably his father before him," Kate interjected. "But the cycle of abuse has ended. That is the one good thing our father did for us. We had a loving mother, and… despite your beginnings, having a mother that cared for you, and loved you so much as Bella said your mother does, it… helps."

"I never saw… Marcus," Edward told them. "All the years I was down in that basement, Alice made sure he stayed away from me. I don't even know what he looks like."

"She protected you," Tanya told him. "An amazing feat for someone who was only a child herself."

"But you said Irina loved her children too?" Edward contradicted.

"She did, but she was killed, and our father was subjected to continued unimaginable abuse, until Caius was finally arrested."

"He was arrested, huh?" Edward asked. "The two must be have a grand old time in prison together."

"Caius was executed many years ago… which brings us to another of our reasons for this visit," Kate said reluctantly, and then looked to her sister to continue for her.

"Our father has been on death row for a while now as well, and now his time is up. His execution is scheduled for the end of the month," she told him.

"Well, that's a good thing, right?" Edward said to them.

"Many people are happy it's happening," Tanya stated. "However… you might not understand this, but he's still our father. We have… so many good memories with him, and we still love him," she said getting emotional.

"You still love him?" Edward asked with incredulousness.

"No matter how bad a parent is, it's natural for people to still, I don't know, seek approval and love from them. It may sound messed up, but it's an innate thing. We would never try to stop the execution, or hope for his release, but we can and will always pray for his soul…. And we will be going to the execution. We felt you deserved the right to attend as well, even if only for your own closure. You said you never saw him, well this will be you one and only chance. I'm sure you will never love him the way we do, but… we certainly don't want you to have regrets."

"Regrets that I never met the monster who tortured my mother for over eight years?" Edward asked scornfully. "I don't see that ever happening."

"Well, if it's not something you need, then that's great. We just thought you should know," Kate said to him.

We were all quiet for a few minutes, but then Tanya sighed. "Edward, I'm glad we could talk about our history, because it's important, but more than anything, we wanted to come here to get to know who you are now. We never knew we had a brother, and even without really knowing you, we care about you a great deal."

"What do you want to know?" Edward asked evenly. "I've never really accomplished anything… except maybe getting this woman to somehow fall in love with me," he said while gesturing to me. "Everything else isn't worth mentioning. I was in jail a few times, in case you were wondering."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Tanya said sincerely. "You were separated from your mother at a very young age. I'm sure that couldn't have been easy for either of you."

"I suppose things could have been worse," he replied quietly.

"Well, what do you two do on this big beautiful ranch here?" Kate asked curiously.

"I'm just the handyman," Edward told her. "This has been Bella's dream since she was a kid."

"He's more than just the handyman," I contradicted. "I would have never been able to get any of this done without him. He's fixed up this entire place basically on his own. It was pretty rundown when I got it. And he handles all the paperwork and pretty much runs the business of it, so I can concentrate on the patients that come here."

"The sign above the gate said it's a horse therapy ranch?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah, I got the idea when I was a kid. I went with the Cullens to take Alice to a therapy ranch like this one, and she just… responded so well by it. I just… fell in love with all the possibilities."

"That's truly incredible. See? You guys are already doing something good with your lives," Tanya told us. "Perhaps you could use you inheritance towards helping people who can't afford to come here."

"Um, that's a great idea, but generally our services are covered through their insurance," I informed them. "We have done pro bono work as well, for people without insurance, but we've worked hard with all the carriers to include us in their plans. But, I do appreciate the suggestion."

"Oh, well all that sounds really great. I'm glad it has worked out," Tanya said.

"Thank you. It has been an incredible journey so far," I said while looking at Edward. "So, what do you guys do for a living?" I then asked them.

"I left my job as a paralegal to concentrate on our organization a few years ago, but when I'm not doing that, I'm a happy stay and home mom for my five year old," Tanya informed us.

"I'm actually a teacher," Kate said. "I adore kids, but being with them all day every day hasn't made me in a rush to have any of my own," she said with a slight laugh.

"Oh, what grade do you teach? My sister in-law is a teacher as well… Well, I guess technically Rose isn't my sister in-law, is she."

Edward smiled crookedly at me. "No, she's my aunt. I should start calling her Aunt Rose. It would drive her nuts."

I giggled at him. "It sure would."

The four of us finally were able to let some of that tension go, and we chit chatted casually for over an hour, just trying to get to know each other better. They actually seemed like very nice women, and I was relieved when even Edward relaxed and engaged in the conversation a bit. Of course, the moment Alice and Jasper came home, the tension returned. I wasn't sure if Tanya and Kate were just nervous, or if it was actually Edward creating the sudden heaviness in the room. Perhaps it was even a little of both.

Alice, on the other hand, was her usual happy bubbly self, and entered the house without a care in the world.

"Um, Tanya and Kate, this is Alice, and my cousin Jasper," I introduced them.

"Hi, Alice. It's so nice to finally meet you," Tanya told her emotionally.

"We've already met," Alice told her unfazed. "Well, kind of. I escaped one time. I ducked under Aro's legs when he opened the door to come down. Then I ran straight out the back door. You were both out there. You said hello. I suppose I should have run out the front door instead, but that house was confusing."

"I'm sorry… I don't remember that," Tanya said with tears spilling over her face.

Alice shrugged indifferently. "No biggie. I was happy to get to put faces to the footsteps I'd always hear above me."

"So… he caught you, and brought you back down to the basement?" Kate asked, sounding completely heartbroken.

"Pretty much. He told me to never do that again. My stomach started growing not long after that, so I couldn't really try again anyway."

"Wait a minute… I think I do remember that," Tanya said slowly. "He told us you were just a kid from the neighborhood who ran away from home and just happened to walk into our house. Oh Alice, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"Its okay, you were just a kid too," Alice assured her. "I'm glad you are both here. Teddy needs all the family he can get, and I can't have any more kids, so I'm glad he can still have some siblings."

"So, you're okay with us being here?" Kate asked her. "We would never want to make you uncomfortable."

"Why would you make me uncomfortable? You didn't do anything bad, and your my son's sisters. We have a lot of room here at the ranch if you want to come move in with us to be closer. My brother and his wife live here to."

"Oh, uh Alice, I think we have all the rooms filled up now," Edward told her quickly.

Tanya smiled. "That is very sweet of you, but we are pretty set where we are, but if you're okay with it, we would love to come visit from time to time. Maybe bring our families? My daughter would love the horses… and to meet her baby cousin, of course."

"I love the horses and her baby cousin too!" Alice agreed excitedly. "But I get to be the grandma. I can't wait! Maybe you can bring your daughter here tomorrow. I haven't gotten to play with any kids since Bella was small. Their baby won't want to play for awhile after it's born. Babies just kind of lie there. But I still can't wait to hold it."

"Well… it's kind of a long way, and my daughter is in school, so maybe not tomorrow, but if it's okay with Bella and Edward, I will bring her in a few weeks or so."

"That would be great," I told her, and then looked at Edward again for confirmation.

"Um… yeah. Just let us know," Edward told them.

Emmett and Rose came down from their apartment and met Edward's sisters as well, but Em was a little wigged out about the entire thing. He was polite, and friendly enough, but I could tell he was tense. When the women left for the day, Emmett was able to voice his concerns…

"So… Those Aro twins are your sisters, huh?" he asked Edward.

"Apparently so," Edward confirmed.

"Emmett, they were introduced to us as his sisters," Rose reminded him. "And they're not even twins."

"Whatever, they look alike," Emmett grumbled before turning back to Edward. "So… now are you going to go have Christmases with them, and be like a whole new family with them?"

"Why, Emmett… are you jealous?" Edward teased him.

"Well… I don't know, maybe a little. I don't mean to be a selfish jackass or anything, but I really like our little family we've made here. It's a like us against the world. Now Barbie One and Barbie Two come in here, and you're probably going to want to change your name again now, since last names are supposed to come from the paternal family and all..."

"Emmett, stop that!" Alice scolded him. "You can't have all your holidays here with us either. Rose still has family she needs to see, so you'll have to leave sometimes. I'm glad Teddy has more people to love him. He deserves to have all the family he can get."

"I know," Emmett grumbled. "I'm sorry. I cant help how I feel, but I don't want to make you feel bad about it either. I know its really a good thing. I guess I should learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes."

"Em, hey, look at this," Edward said while holding up his arm to show him his cuff. "I haven't taken this off since you put it on me… except to shower, because wet leather isn't good for anyone. I even have sex with Bella while wearing it."

"We did not need to know that," Alice mumbled, mostly to herself.

"I bet she likes that," Emmett said with a smile towards me. "She always had a thing for the Cullen crest."

"Emmett, don't be gross," I told him quickly.

"Its true. You used to draw it in your little notebook," he insisted.

"Because I thought it was cool looking, not because I 'had a thing' for it."

"Same difference," Emmett maintained.

I just shook my head at him.

"Anyway, I'm a Cullen. It's even legal now. You're not getting rid of me," Edward assured Emmett.

"You sure?"

"Of course… Besides, there's no way in hell I'd ever change my last name to Aro. I'd rather walk through flames naked, and poke both my eyes out with sewers and then eat them for breakfast."

"Oh Teddy, you have been spending far too much time with Emmett," Alice said while shaking her head.

"There's no such thing as too much time," Emmett argued. "Fishing tomorrow morning?"

"Uh… don't you have work?" Edward asked him confused.

"I'll just take the morning off."

"Emmett, you haven't been working there long, you can't just take random mornings off," Rose said frustrated.

"We will go next weekend," Edward promised.

"Okay, don't back out on me."

"I won't," Edward assured him.

When everyone turned in for the night, it was the first time Edward and I had been alone all day, so I was curious and nervous to ask him how he really felt about our visitors...

"So… How mad are you?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mad? About what?"

"About me contacting your sisters, and inviting them here without telling you first. I know I shouldn't have done that. I just…"

"You just knew I wouldn't have been receptive of them if I was told ahead of time," he concluded.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"No, I get it," he said while wrapping his arms around me securely. "You know me too well. I wouldn't have wanted them coming… but I'm glad they did. It was certainly interesting."

"Interesting? Is that all you feel about today?" I asked surprised.

He shrugged. "I guess… I guess there was a lot said. I'm going to need to think about it for a while, and let it all sink in before I'll really know how I feel about everything."

"That makes sense," I said while cuddling even closer to him.

"I'll tell you one thing for sure though."

"What's that?" I asked, suddenly anxiously again.

"I'm definitely not freaking out. In fact, I think you should start taking your clothes off right now."

"Oh really?" I giggled. He didn't have to ask me twice; I automatically started stripping.

And, much to my relief, he really was okay. He proved it over and over again, as we made love throughout the night. He even came into me without any issue whatsoever.

It was definitely a risk having his sisters come without his permission, and even though it seemed to turn out okay, I knew I had done the wrong thing. Like I was telling him before, a person's right to make their own decisions was of the utmost importance, and he certainty deserved to as well. I knew then I would never take that right from him again...


	20. Making Sense

**Chapter 20 – Making Sense**

"Hey, do you have a minute?" Jasper asked me after my last patient had left for the day. Usually Jasper tended to the horses after the patients were gone, but with everyone else busy, perhaps he saw it as an opportunity to speak to me alone.

"Sure. What's up?" I asked curiously, but then I started getting anxious by the way Jasper was obviously having a hard time saying whatever he needed to say. "Please don't tell me you're leaving," I said, jumping to the only conclusion I could think of that would have him so hesitant. I always knew he'd possibly want to leave one day, but selfishly I wanted him to stay since he was such a help with the horses, and the fact that Alice would be devastated if he moved away.

"No, it's nothing like that," he assured me. "In fact… I was actually talking to Emmett the other day, and he still really wants to build a house on that land behind the barn. If you're not opposed to that, I figured when its done, I'd move up to the apartment permanently… If you and Edward don't mind, of course."

"Oh Jazz, of course we don't mind," I said sincerely. "Edward and I actually talked about that the other day. We're really happy you are all here, so we would love for Emmett to build his house and for you to move up to the apartment. Heck, if you wanted to build a place of your own, I'm sure we can find just the right spot as well. There's a lot of land here."

Jasper shrugged. "Maybe someday, but I actually really like the apartment. That's more than enough space for me."

"Well, if you ever want to get married, or…"

"That's actually the real reason I needed to talk to you," he said hesitantly.

I raised my brows at him surprised. "You're getting married? I didn't even know you were dating anyone."

"No, I'm not getting married, and I'm not seeing anyone… technically. I just.."

I laughed once. "Jazz, whatever it is, it's okay, you can tell me."

He sighed. "I'm not so sure about that." He looked out the window towards the stable, where Edward was working and Alice was hanging with the horses.

"Jasper, what is it?" I asked, getting concerned again.

He huffed. "Okay, don't freak out."

"I won't."

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "I think… No, I know… At least, I think I know..."

"Jasper, just say it!" I said anxiously, since he paused yet again.

"I'm in love with Alice," he said quickly, and then he appeared to brace himself for my response - _How was I going to respond?_

"Um… Like, for real?" I asked, really hoping that wasn't something he'd joke about.

"Look, I know its… crazy, and the last thing I want to do is upset anyone. I mean, is it inappropriate? I don't even know, and I've been feeling really guilty about it, and I've tried to ignore my feelings, and bury them as deep as they'd go, but like… she sees right through me. I don't know how she knows, but she knew even before I did."

"Okay…" I said, still trying to figure out what that meant. "But Jasper, you have to understand, she might not ever be ready for…"

"I know," he stopped me. "But, last week I went out and had some drinks at the bar in town, and there was this woman there. She was beautiful, and… very into me. She wanted me to go back to her apartment with her, but… I just kept thinking about Alice, and how hurt she'd be if she knew, and I realized…. I realized that I'd rather not ever have sex with Alice, then to have sex with anyone else… Does that make sense?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but… you're really okay with being celibate for… the rest of your life? I mean, if you tell Alice you love her, I hope you are serious and it's not a fleeting thing. I don't know if she could handle…"

"I would never do anything to break her heart," Jasper said with conviction. "I know what happened to her, Bella. I wouldn't even bring this up if I wasn't sure my feelings were real and irrevocable. I understand exactly what it means, and… I'm truly okay with it. I mean, couples go through things where sex is no longer possible all the time. They don't break up over it. Sex isn't everything…. It's not even mostly everything."

"But it's pretty important," I countered.

"No, being intimate is important," he corrected me. "Alice held my hand the other day, and I swear, it felt more intimate than any sexual encounter I ever had. I really truly love her. I have been in such… darkness since that explosion that killed my friends overseas, but Alice is like this intense light… brighter than anything I have ever seen before. I seriously considered ending my life when I first got here, but then she came, and I thought, if she could find a way to be happy after everything she had suffered, why can't I."

"Oh Jasper, I didn't know you had felt that way," I said emotionally.

"I love you, and really do appreciate everything you've done for me, but it wasn't something I felt I could really talk to you about. It wasn't you, it was me. I was ashamed of it. But… recently… I actually talked about it with Alice, and she… she just listened and then she told me everything was going to be okay and she'd always be there for me, and.. I don't know, I just… felt like she really did understand me somehow. Like, I know you understand, but she… she understands. You know what I mean?"

"I get it," I told him. "And I think it's really great, Jasper."

"You sure? Because I do remember an incident several months ago, where you attacked Edward because you thought they had some secret romantic relationship… which I believe you even called 'assault'."

I narrowed my eyes at him in mock anger. "That was a tad bit of a different situation."

"Well yeah, because if it had been real, he would have been cheating on you, and you had just found out you were pregnant, right."

"That was one thing, but not the most important thing. Alice was still… completely introverted. She wasn't speaking. She was very childlike, so had someone been doing 'romantic' things to her, it would have been assault. The Alice she was back then wasn't anywhere close to the person she is now. She can certainly handle a relationship now, and I know you will always respect her when it comes to the more physical aspect of it."

"I'm leaving that part completely up to her. If all she ever wants to do is hold my hand, I'll just be as happy as can be."

I smiled at him. "If you're both happy, then so am I."

"Well, to be honest, you're not really the one I'm worried about. How do you think Edward will feel about it?"

I raised my shoulders. "Never know until you tell him, but I really don't think he will react negatively."

"Really?" he asked with hopeful disbelief.

"Yeah. I mean, pretty much from the beginning, Edward has always insisted that Alice was an adult. He used to get annoyed whenever anyone babied her... even back before she was speaking. He took her children's books from her, and pretty much blamed all of us for her behavior … well, her parents mainly."

"She actually told me about that," Jasper said unexpectedly. "She said she used to read the kid's books because that was all Aro let her have in the basement, so it reminded her of Edward… well, she said 'Teddy'. She said she used to cry while reading them, and think about him and worry that he wasn't being read to wherever he was, because that was always his favorite thing to do in the basement. She only gave up those books when he took them from her, and told her he liked the other ones better. I guess there was a dolphin book, or something?"

I nodded with a laugh. "Yeah, it was when I needed to go see you in the hospital. I was nervous about leaving them alone, but he insisted they'd be fine. I didn't know the truth about them yet, so he tried to put my mind at ease about leaving by proving that she didn't need children's books. He just handed her 'The Island of the Blue Dolphin', and said something to her about how he loved that book, and then she was absolutely fine giving up 'Paddington Bear'."

"'Paddington Bear'! That's the one she told me was his favorite. She even said she named him Teddy because he liked it so much. She said before he was able to sit and listen to her read, she just called him Baby."

"Oh… Well, I guess that makes sense coming from a traumatized twelve year old's mind."

"Yeah… I hate it. I hate that she was hurt so horribly. It's hard to hear her talk about it, because it makes me so angry, but… the more she's talked about it, or even just told me stories about her and Edward's time together down there, the more I realize that… she really is okay. She is a true survivor, and the strongest person I've ever met… and I've known some strong people. Alice loves Edward more than anything, and she loves life. Her zest for life is infectious, and I'm so grateful for her, because she's given me a reason to really love life again as well."

"Well, you certainly talk about her like a man in love," I told him with a smile.

"You really think Edward will be okay with it?"

"I'm pretty sure he will be. He even told me before that he wished she would find someone who loves her as much as she loves you."

"What?" Jasper asked surprised and confused.

"It was always a joke to us when she would comment on you guys being together, but then we started talking about it one night, and Edward said he thinks she's serious and she certainly doesn't love softly. When she's in, she's all in. You know? And he said, he didn't know if she'd ever be ready to have a real relationship, but he hoped someday she would be. All that big brazen flamboyant love she has for you… she really deserves someone to love her like that as well."

"Well, I don't know how… flamboyant my love could ever be, but I do love her that much on the inside."

"And that's all that matters," I assured him. "As long as she knows you love her, then the rest is nobody's business."

"So… regardless of Edward's potential approval of me…. Emmett is certainly going to kill me, isn't he? I mean, those Cullens don't seem to say anything they don't mean."

"You may have a harder time with him than Edward, that's for sure… But, Alice doesn't seem to have any issue putting her little brother in his place."

Jasper smiled and nodded. "You're right about that. She's one tough cookie."

"So… How are you planning to tell her how you feel? Or have you already?" I asked curiously.

"No, I wanted to talk to you first… Well, I wanted to talk to Edward first, so I'm talking to you to get an idea of how it will go. I'm worried about Emmett's reaction, but… the only one that really counts is Edward. If he doesn't approve, I'm not going to move forward with it. He means everything to her, and I'd never want to put any kind of rift between them over me."

"Well, that's sweet, but regardless of how he feels, I'm sure they'd never let it get between them. They don't have a normal mother-son relationship. There's nothing in this world that could upset either of them enough to cause any rifts."

"I suppose not. I'm glad I'm talking to you, though. I mean, it's definitely helping calm my nerves."

"So… you have already held hands with her… how do you think your relationship will change with your coming declaration?" I asked him. "Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, I'm just curious."

"I don't know if anything will change, but I just want her to know that I love her too, and it's serious, and I will never hurt her, or go off with some other woman. I want her to know she has my entire heart, and that will never change…. I mean, eventually…"

"What?" I asked when he paused.

"Eventually... if it was something she wanted too, I'd love for her to move to the apartment with me. I want to sleep with her every night, and I'm not talking about sex. She fell asleep on my shoulder at the movies once, and it… it was just the most peaceful thing I ever experienced. I'd give anything to wake up to that peace every morning… as long as she was comfortable with it, that is."

"Waking up with the person you love is an incredible feeling," I agreed, realizing that was exactly why he had brought up the apartment earlier. He was thinking long term; he was planning a home for them to share, and I thought it was so incredibly sweet.

"I want to wake up with her… and have breakfast with her, and work side by side with the horses with her, and spend the day just basking in her presence, and then finally going to sleep with her, only to repeat it all the next morning. That is literally all I want for the rest of my life. She's never going to want to leave this ranch because of Edward and the baby, but I really love it here too. I hope I'm not imposing at all."

"Are you kidding? Of course you're not imposing."

"Well, when you invited me to come stay with you after being discharged, I know you weren't thinking it would be forever."

"Jasper, you are my cousin, and I love you. And, yes, I did think you may stay here permanently… at least, I was hoping you would. I was going to have to hire someone to help care for the horses anyway. I'd much rather have you living in that apartment full time than some random stranger. Now… if only we can get Emmett and Rose's new house built quickly, everything will be perfect."

Jasper chuckled. "Nah, I'm not in any rush. I rather enjoy waking up to see Alice in the kitchen every morning, and I know she's certainly not ready to move in with me yet. She might never be, and that's okay."

"I think she will want to. Hell, she wanted to shower with you not long ago."

Jasper smiled and then shrugged. "She didn't quite understand what that meant. I think she does now."

"She's definitely come a long way in a short amount of time," I agreed.

"Yeah, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is set her back. I don't ever want her to feel uncomfortable, or scared of me in any way."

"I don't see her ever moving backwards," I said honestly. "She cut herself off from the world, and refused to engage with anyone or even learn about anything, because she was in such a state of traumatic grief from losing Edward the way that she did."

"But now she has him back."

I nodded. "Exactly. She is so happy now, and she is just soaking everything up that the world has to offer. She's just flying forward, and I don't see anything stopping that."

"Thanks Bella. Your support means a lot to me," he said while standing suddenly, and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, thinking his departure was sort of abrupt. _Were we even done with the conversation yet?_

"I need to go talk to Edward. Discussing it with you has really helped, but now I'm just eager to start this journey with Alice as soon as possible. I don't ever remember feeling this nervous and excited at the same time before."

I laughed, feeding off of his excitement. "Good luck! Just don't forget to breathe. Everything is going to be okay."

"Thank you, Bella. Love you," he added before racing out the back door.

I sighed, and then seriously considered calling Rose at her work, to warn her to keep Emmett under control when they got home. He was really the only one I could see having an issue with their new relationship. I wasn't worried about Edward's reaction, because I knew he just wanted Alice safe and happy, and if anyone could give her that, it was Jazz.

Sure enough, just a little over an hour later, Edward came into the house alone, and completely unconcerned about anything.

"Well?" I asked him after he kissed me hello.

"Well, what?" he asked clueless.

"Did Jasper not talk to you?" I asked confused.

"About… him being in love with Alice?" he asked unsure.

"Yes! It's kind of a big deal, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure why someone else's relationship would be a big deal to me."

"She is your mother," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess that's a little incestuous in a way, isn't it?"

I laughed at him. "How so?"

"Your cousin, my mother… seems odd to think of it that way."

"At least they aren't related to each other. Our relationship is kind of worse, when you think of it."

He chuckled. "Because you're like an adopted member of the Cullen family?"

"Yeah. I have always considered Alice and Emmett as my siblings."

Edward smiled crookedly. "Well, Aunt Bella. If its good enough for 'Game of Thrones', its good enough for me."

"You binge cheated!" I shouted at him.

"What?" he feigned innocence. "I did not."

"Yes, you did! What the hell was that aunt and nephew 'Game of Thrones' comment then?"

"How do you know it's anything unless you're the one that cheated?" he countered.

"Because… because Rose told me," I admitted reluctantly. "I may have asked for spoilers."

Edward laughed at me. "I may have gone on spoiler web sites…. But I did not cheat! We are still on season four together. I haven't watched a single episode without you."

I smiled, and then puckered my lips towards him. He gladly kissed me, but what started as a peck, quickly depended much more than either of us had intended. We probably would have ended up going upstairs, but that was when Emmett and Rose walked in through the door.

"Gah! What is in the water around here?" he said loudly, which prompted Edward and I to break apart. "Alice and Jasper are making out on the porch, and here you two are. Geeze, what are bedrooms for?"

"Uh… Alice and Jasper are doing what?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah, what the hell is that about?" Emmett asked with a mix of confusion and bitterness. "I thought their relationship was just a big joke."

"I can honestly say that I never thought I'd see Alice kiss anyone, let alone completely trying to devour Jasper's face like that," Rose added. "Man, oh man. They're really going for it," she said while peeking out the window.

"We don't need to be graphic, honey," Emmett said, disturbed.

"Hey, I think it's great. More power to 'em," Rose added.

"Can we just change the subject, please?" Emmett said full of discomfort.

"Wow, Emmett. I'm really proud of you for not breaking them up and causing a scene," I told him.

"Are you kidding? You've obviously never seen Jasper take anyone down before. Let me tell you, I have, and it was fucking terrifying. I may have threatened him before, but it was because I felt I had to as Alice's brother. I know he's going to always be careful with her. Besides, I already told her I'd respect it if she decided to love him… Of course, I didn't think either of them were serious at the time."

"Well, they're serious now," Rose said while peeking out the window at them once more. "Yep, still going at it. We may need a bucket of water to make them stop," she joked.

"You know, I'm with Emmett on this, maybe we can just not talk about it," Edward said, finally showing a small amount of disturbance.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Rose relented.

"So hey, I wanted to talk to you guys about building that house you were talking about," I said to Emmett and Rose. If Jasper and Alice really were in full make-out mode, they may want that apartment sooner than I expected.

"Why are you bringing this up right now?" Em asked suspiciously. "Wait a minute, you want to give the apartment to them, don't you?"

"Jasper did ask… for himself… initially," I admitted.

"We did contact a builder a few days ago," Rose informed me. "We just wanted to discuss it again with you guys to make sure it was still okay."

"Yeah, it's fine, but what about the building noise spooking the horses?" Edward asked me. "Or the patients?"

"The horses are trained to be calm with noise, so it shouldn't bother them so much, but we will still have to schedule it somehow," I said after thinking about it. "Maybe there will have to be a few days a week where the contractors aren't here, so I can schedule my noise sensitive patients then."

"I think we can do that," Rose agreed. "Oh, now I'm getting excited! It's going to be amazing."

"Its not going to be some huge monstrosity, right?" Edward asked, suddenly concerned.

"Only if I let Emmett make the plans," Rose said jokingly serious. "The floor plan we liked the best is a modest, three bedroom ranch style, that's about sixteen hundred square feet. Not tiny, but not huge by any means. Does that sound okay?" she asked unsure.

"Sixteen hundred square feet is actually kind of small," Edward told her. "I was expecting like three thousand."

"Oh no, I don't want to have to clean up that much house," Rose replied. "I grew up in a sixteen hundred square foot house, and it was comfortable, and homey, and I think it will be perfect. Besides, it's essentially a guest house, not the main house. I think this is the house that should stand out."

"Okay, well it all sounds good to me," I told them.

"You cool, bro?" Emmett asked Edward.

"I think it sounds great. I'm sure you guys will enjoy having more space than you do now."

"Okay, but I was actually asking about your mom and your cousin in-law out there," Emmett clarified.

"I honestly don't know why anyone would be upset about it," Edward replied sincerely. "I mean, who would want her to be alone for the rest of her life?"

"She'd never be alone," Emmett countered.

"You know what I mean," Edward said with annoyance. "She deserves to be in love, and if anyone is going to treat her the way she needs, it's Jasper. I think she might just know how to treat him the way he needs too. They make sense, actually."

Emmett nodded while considering it. "Well, if you're cool with it, I suppose I have no reason to be worried."

"What are you worried about?" Alice asked as she and Jasper walked through the door, hand in hand.

"Nothing," Emmett told her. "I don't have a worry in the world."

…


	21. Emotional

**Chapter 21 – Emotional**

"Well, Alice wants to have sex," Jasper blurted out one morning. Everyone had just headed out to start their day, and I was right behind them, but had held back only briefly to check my schedule for the day.

"Um…. Wow, okay.. So?" I asked him, unsure how else to respond.

"Oh Bella, I've never been so freaked out before. What the hell am I supposed to do? Like, I want to have sex with her, but… does that make me a bad person? I don't know. And she's been so insistent. I never thought we would even kiss like we have been doing, but she just doesn't want to stop, and she's been asking me why I don't want to have sex with her. It breaks my heart. I don't want her to think that," he said in a rush. I don't even think he took a single breath between the words.

"Okay," in said slowly, still trying to process everything he just said. "Are you even sure she really knows exactly what sex means?" I asked, having a hard time believing she made that much progress in such a short amount of time. They had really only been officially a couple for a little over two weeks.

"Yes! She even described exactly how to do it because, I don't know, maybe she thought she wasn't communicating well enough, or something. She was very… graphic, and specific. She even told me something about protection not being necessary because she can't ever get pregnant again."

"Oh… Well, alrighty then," I said, still at a loss.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this, because I know you'll feel the need to tell Edward..."

"Oh no!" I cut him off. "I certainly don't feel the need to tell him any of this. And trust me, he wouldn't want to hear it."

"I know, but… I guess this is the sort of thing I should be talking to my guy friends about; problem is, my only real guy friends are her brother and her son."

I laughed once. "Yeah, not good choices for confidants on this particular subject," I agreed.

"So… What do I do?" he asked me, clearly desperate for advice.

I shrugged. "Jazz, honestly, I don't think anyone can answer that except you. You are the only one in the world that loves her in that way, so… it's something I can't even really form an opinion on. All I would really say is… if you do move forward with it, then you just need to prepare yourself to stop at any point. She may think she is ready, but when it gets down to it, she may not be as ready as she previously thought. She won't know for sure until it's actually happening."

"And that's what I'm most afraid of. I know I can stop if she needed me to, but… I don't want it to even get that far. I don't ever want to be the cause of her having some horrible flashback to what that monster did to her. I couldn't live with myself if I upset her like that."

"Jasper, you have to!" I told him strongly. "You can't prevent her from having a flashback, and you certainly can't blame yourself either. People who survived severe trauma, don't always know when or where they will have a flashback in that way, and if you were to shut yourself off from her because you blamed yourself, it would only hurt her. She needs your unyielding support."

"I know, but…"

"From everything you've told me that she's said, I'm pretty sure she's serious about wanting to have that type of relationship with you. You need to be her strength during it, and if she gets upset, just hold her, or give her space, or whatever she needs you to do. But don't blame yourself! She certainly wouldn't need you wallowing in your own self-loathing over it. She is going to need you to focus on her with this. The biggest mistake we ever made with her, was assuming she wasn't capable to make any of her own decisions. She is certainly capable to make decisions about her own body… so let her. She trusts you, so give her your trust in return. Trust her to know what she wants."

Jasper was quiet for a minute as he considered what I was saying, and then he sighed. "Well, you are certainly good at giving advice."

"I have a little personal experience with being with someone struggling with their thoughts and feelings," I told him.

"Edward has had issues too?" Jasper questioned surprised.

"He was raised to believe he has evil blood. It's gotten in the way of a lot of things for him… but all I can do is continue to support him, and love him, and know his occasional setbacks are not about me," I told him meaningfully. "And Alice may have some setbacks as well. I'm not talking about her reverting back to not speaking like before, because I'm fairly sure she's well past that, but she may be perfectly fine with sex one day, and the next it might upset her. You just can never be sure, and you have to always expect it in the back of your mind, and keep reminding yourself it's not personal. It may always be an ongoing battle that you have to keep working on for the rest of your life… Then again, Alice never ceases to surprise me, so maybe we are worrying over nothing and she will be absolutely fine."

Jasper smiled by the thought. "That wouldn't surprise me either. She definitely seems to know what she wants."

"Definitely," I agreed.

"Thanks, Bella."

"That's what I'm here for," I joked.

The rest of the day went normally, however when the next morning arrived, I was surprised when Jasper and Alice didn't show for breakfast. Emmett and Rose usually ate on their own in the apartment before they left for work, but I always cooked in the morning for those of us residing in the main house.

"Um… I suppose I will just… leave the eggs on the stove for a bit," I said awkwardly when Edward and I were both done eating, and they still hadn't shown.

"Hey, they are fully capable of cooking for themselves," Edward told me unconcerned.

"But I already made enough for them. I guess I'll just leave it out for a bit longer."

Just then, Alice came dancing out of the downstairs den where Jasper slept.

"Um, good morning," I said as she kissed both Edward and me on the cheek, and then rubbed my belly, as she did every morning.

"It is a good morning, isn't it?" she said in a sing song voice. "Sorry we are late for breakfast, we had sex," she divulged.

"Holy shit," Jasper mumbled to himself as he had just entered the kitchen to hear Alice's announcement.

Edward turned his head and glared at Jasper. "You mother fucker," he said with faux anger, which immediately made Jasper relax.

"Uh, okay, I deserved that," he said with a slight chuckle.

"Teddy, don't talk like that!" Alice scolded him.

"Sorry," he said casually. "But that was nothing. You should hear how Emmett talks when there's no women around."

"I know exactly how he talks, and I don't want you to be influenced by him," Alice said sternly.

"Me? Maybe you should take your own advice. Announcing your private business to everyone is definitely an Emmett move," Edward pointed out.

"That was, wasn't it?" she agreed. "I apologize. I was just so excited because it was amazing, and I wanted you both to know why we were late. We really did it last night, but we were so tired this morning that we just didn't wake up…"

"Darlin', maybe we could just move on to a different topic," Jasper practically begged.

"Yes, please let's talk about something else," Edward agreed.

Lucky for Jasper and Edward, Alice happily moved on to talking about whatever else she was excited about that day. Without knowing all the details, it was clear that Alice was still happy and unaffected by their recent bedroom activities, and I couldn't have been more thrilled for them both. She just continued to blossom into such a beautiful woman, and I was so proud of whatever small part I had in helping her get there.

Our day continued as usual, or at least mostly usual. Alice typically shadowed Edward around the property as he worked, that day, however, she kissed him on the cheek and told him she'd be with Jasper if he needed her.

"You're still okay with them?" I asked Edward after she was out of hearing range.

"Yeah," he said hesitantly, as if he had something else to say.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. "Are you worried about her?"

"What? No, not at all. I'm happy for them both… I don't need to know details about it the way Alice seems more than happy to tell me, but… I think it's good."

"Okay, why did you get weird all of a sudden?" I asked concerned.

"Weird?" he laughed. "Sorry, I've been a little preoccupied. Actually, Alice's attention being diverted from me couldn't have come at a better time."

"Why's that?"

"I think… I think I should go to the execution…. And that's the last place I'd want her to go."

"Oh," I said surprised.

"Yeah. I was talking to Tanya on the phone the other day, and I just got to thinking… I don't know. Does it make me a horrible person if… maybe… there's this part of me that… wants to see him before he dies?"

"Oh baby, that doesn't make you a horrible person at all," I said while wrapping my arms around him securely.

"I never wanted to see him before. I really am surprised I'm even considering this. It's so weird, and quite frankly, disturbing, but I just can't shake it."

"Edward, despite everything he did, he's still your father," I said carefully.

"Yeah, but it's not like I have any fond memories of him the way my sisters do. Literally, the only image I have of him was the one time I briefly saw his feet from where Alice would make me hide when he'd come down for her. I didn't understand who he was, or why I had to hide, but I knew he came down often, and after I saw his feet, I just remember thinking he was huge… like a giant, or something. I don't know, he's a monster, so I have no idea why I feel the need to see him at all. Maybe I just want to watch him die to know the world is finally rid of him."

"Its natural to be curious about a biological parent, no matter who they are," I assured him.

"I guess, but maybe I should save myself the trip, and just look him up on the internet. I know his picture is out there. You even said you've seen him on the news."

I nodded. "I have… and you certainly can do that, but it's not the same thing as seeing him in person… Its completely up to you."

He thought about it some more, and then he sighed. "I think I should go. If I change my mind about seeing him when I get there, I'll just not go inside. At least I'd be there to help support Tanya and Kate."

I nodded. "Sounds like a good plan… Would you mind if I go with you?"

He pressed his lips. "I really hate the idea of you being anywhere near a monster like that… but, I guess he can't do anything to hurt you, so… I would really like to have you there with me."

"Really?" I asked, grateful he trusted me enough to let me stay close to him during that time, which was sure to be emotionally taxing.

"Of course I'd want you to come," he said assuredly. "I hate ever being away from you… Plus, if I have one of my fun freak-outs, you are pretty much the only person who can talk me down… But, what about your patients?"

"I will contact them to let them know I'm going out of town, but if they still want to come interact with the horses, I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind helping with that."

"Yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have such a wonderful step-dad," he joked.

I giggled at him. "Our poor child is going to be so confused about how everyone is related in this family."

Edward laughed with me. "Nah, it won't be so hard. Jasper will be it's second cousin and step grandfather. And you… were raised as grandma's sister. There. Easy enough."

"Oh my god," I said while shaking my head.

…

Alice wasn't happy about letting Edward leave on a trip without her, especially after we told her where we were going...

"But, how will I protect you from him if I stay here?" she asked concerned.

"Alice, I don't need you to protect me anymore," Edward had told her gently.

"I know you have Bella to protect you now, and she's even bigger than I am, but she's pregnant, so she might not be able to fight him off as well."

Edward chuckled lightly. "I don't know. She's still pretty tough. Being pregnant wouldn't get in the way of her amazing right hook."

Alice looked at me, so I winked at her and punched my hand with the opposite fist to show her just how good of a fighter I was. "I won't let anything happen to him," I promised.

"Besides, I'm kind of bigger than both of you now," Edward pointed out.

She smiled at him. "You have gotten really big."

"See? If Bella's big belly gets in the way of protecting me, I'll be able to handle it myself."

Alice smiled at him again, but then her face fell into a troubled expression. "There's something I never told you," she said anxiously.

"Okay, so tell me."

Alice looked at Jasper, and he nodded in encouragement, which seemed to give her the strength she needed to say whatever it was she needed to say.

"He wanted you," she told Edward reluctantly. "He wanted to take you away from me, and raise you as his. He said he always wanted a son. It's the only reason he didn't kill me like the others. I had you. Maybe… Maybe if I let him take you, maybe he would have raised you with your sisters, and he would have been kind to you like he was to them, and you would have had a better life. I went from considering killing you, to refusing to ever let you go."

Edward nodded. "Alice, why are you telling me this right now?" he asked gently.

"I'm scared. I've always been scared for him to see you, because I know once he does, he will love you like I do, and he won't let me hide you from him anymore. He will take you away, and I'll never see you again."

"Alice, its not even possible for him to take me anywhere. He's going to be locked up the entire time, and then he's going to be killed. He can't hurt me… He can't hurt anyone ever again."

"You're sure?" she asked.

Edward nodded. "Absolutely."

"What if he escapes?"

"He can't. He will be chained up and surrounded by a ton of armed guards at all times. He's been locked up for a long time already. He's an old man now. He will never escape. I promise you."

"Darlin', I have a cell phone, Edward has a cell phone. You will be able to call him whenever you want," Jasper assured her.

"Okay," she said after considering it. "I'll stay here and take care of Jasper and the horses, so you guys won't have to worry about them."

"Thanks, Alice," I said with a smile.

She sighed. "I guess I'll even make Emmett and Rose dinner, because god know they can't cook."

"We can do it together," Jasper told her, so she wove her fingers in his as affirmation.

Convincing Alice not to go to the execution was surprisingly easy compared to convincing Emmett not to go. Then again, we should have know that was exactly what would happen…

"Emmett, you have no reason to go," Edward told him.

"The hell I don't!" he retorted. "Executions are usually witnessed by victims families, and guess what, that's exactly what I am. I want to see that prick fry!"

"It's a lethal injection," I told him.

"Whatever. I still want to see it. I want to know that monster is good and dead!"

"I can take a picture for you," Edward deadpanned.

"I wish you would. I'd frame that shit."

"Emmett, regardless of what he did, he's still Edward's father," I reminded him. "Maybe you should not speak like that."

"You're right, Bella," Emmett said. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Its fine. It's just… I suppose you can go if you feel it's something you need to see, but I would honestly prefer if you didn't," Edward told him.

"Okay, then we won't," Emmett finally agreed.

…

Even though we were only driving, I was just entering my third trimester, so I wanted to double check with my OBGYN to make sure it was safe enough to travel. Thankfully, I got the all clear, and we took off towards the prison. Emmett teared up as he watched us leave, but Alice stayed strong, and assured everyone we were going to be okay. I knew it was hard for her to let Edward leave, especially knowing where we were going, but she did it because she knew it was something he needed to do. She truly knew what it meant to be a great mother, and I could only hope to be as selfless and fiercely loving as she was with my own children some day.

"So, what are we thinking, like ten hours before we get to the hotel?" Edward asked he as he drove us onto the highway.

"Its only eight hours on the GPS," I told him, confused as to why he would think it was ten.

"Yeah, but considering all the rest stops you're going to need to take, I'm sure it'll be at least ten."

"I don't have to pee that much!"

"Hey, I'm just quoting your doc here," he defended himself. "He said to make sure you get up and walk around every couple hours or so, to make sure you don't have too much swelling."

"Yeah, but not two hours worth of walking and peeing," I said, pretending to be insulted.

"Babe, it's early, we have plenty of time to get there, we don't need to be in any rush. Let's just enjoy this time that we have alone while we can."

"You say that like we will never be alone again," I giggled.

"We won't."

"Unless Alice moves into the apartment with Jasper," I pointed out.

"Um… we will still have that little monster always around," he said, in reference to my stomach. "So that's eighteen years at least of us never being alone. Then you'll probably want more kids, and it'll be just that much longer."

"The kids will have their own bedrooms," I said. "And before you know it, they will be in school and you'll miss them. Besides, there is always vacations. I think we will have plenty of willing babysitters around the ranch."

"Still, let's just enjoy this drive. I miss having you all to myself, and bedtime doesn't even count."

"Why's that? Because all we do in bed is have sex?" I joked, though it was pretty accurate.

"You're right. We should cut back on that so we have some time to just talk and hang out."

"Or, we could keep our sex life the way it is," I said, hating the idea of making love to him any less than we were currently.

He laughed. "You might not feel up to it so much after the baby is born."

"That won't ever happen," I said assuredly.

He laughed again. "Okay. We shall see."

We drove for a few hours, and had only stopped once up until that point. However when we stopped that particular time, Edward bypassed the truck stop, and seemed to be turning around and driving down a frontage road in the opposite direction we had been traveling.

"Where are we going?" I asked as our GPS kept trying to reroute us back to the freeway.

"I saw something a little way back, and I wanted to check it out."

I intended to question him further, but we soon pulled up to a particular building, and he turned off the car. "Okay, so I'm kind of confused. Why did you want to check out this building?"

"Isn't it neat?" he asked with a level of excitement I wasn't expecting.

"Its… beautiful, but… I never saw you as a lover of architecture," I said as we got out of the car so I could stretch my legs.

"Well, I'm not. But this particular building was where they filmed 'Love Ever After'," he explained.

"Is that some Hallmark chick flick?" I asked with a giggle.

He shook his head no, but then admitted - "Maybe. It was actually one of my favorites. It was an awesome story about two people finding each other against all odds. They ended up having a shotgun wedding at a courthouse, and this was where they filmed it."

"And you just happened to see it while driving on the freeway?" I asked in disbelief.

"Maybe… Or maybe I knew it was here and wanted to stop all along."

I giggled at him. "Well, I'm glad you could see it since you liked the movie so much."

"I'm glad I could see it with you," he told me.

I smiled at him, and kissed him tenderly. It really was a beautiful building, and even the grounds were lovely. We started walking the garden a bit, and the flowers there were absolutely breathtaking.

"Wow, I guess I can see why the movie people would come all the way out here to film."

"Pretty incredible, right?" he said.

"It really is," I agreed.

"Bella, I really want you to know how much I appreciate you coming on this trip with me. I don't know how it's going to go, but… I know I will get through it if I have you by my side."

"You will get through it," I said confidently. "You've made leaps and bounds in such a short amount of time. I know you can get through anything."

"As long as I have you," he reiterated.

"As long as we have each other," I corrected him. "As long as we have each other, I'm certain there's nothing we can't do."

"Well, I know one thing for sure, I can't stop loving you, and I never will. Bella, you have given me a reason to live, for the first time in my life. Without you, I wasn't even a shadow of a man, and now I have so much to be thankful for. You didn't just give me a family, you are my family, and wherever you are, that's my home… You're the only home I have ever known. You have proven that chick flicks can mirror reality, and the only way I could possibly be any happier is if you would marry me."

My breath caught as Edward pulled a little black velvet box out of his pocket, and then sunk down to one knee.

"Isabella Marie Swan, would you do the extraordinary honor of being my wife?"

I didn't even realize I was crying until I could no longer see him through my tears, but he was waiting for my answer, so I forced the moisture away so I could see his beautiful perfect face again. "Yes! Yes, of course I will marry you."

He smiled and placed the ring on my finger, and then he stood and we held each other tightly.

"Thank god," I heard him whisper under his breath.

I pulled back enough to look at him. "Were you worried I'd say no?"

"There's always a part of me that worries you're going to come to your senses and realize you deserve so much better than me."

I wanted to reiterate just how far from the truth that was, but then he stopped me.

"But you know what, that part of me only gets smaller every day, because you make me feel like the luckiest man alive. If you love me, then I must not be so bad."

"You are incredible. And I'm the lucky one," I told him sincerely. He clearly disagreed, but we weren't about to get into an argument about it. I looked at my hand, at the surreal sight of a diamond engagement ring on my finger, and I just couldn't believe it was real. "Its beautiful," I told him as I got emotional again.

"It's a good thing I was being paid five hundred a month for a while, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford it," he joked.

I giggled. "I know I never paid you enough for this," I said, wondering how he managed to stow away that kind of money.

"I did have a savings before I met you… And no, it wasn't from my illegal activities. I never had many living expenses, so whatever money I would make, basically I held onto. It wasn't much, but I'm glad I was able to buy that with money I made completely on my own."

"Well, you could have used our money too. I don't want you to ever feel like you need to ask first."

"I will always ask before making a large purchase... Okay, perhaps the right word is 'discuss'. I will always discuss major purchases with you… well, anything major for that matter."

I smiled lovingly at him. "And I will always discuss everything major with you too."

"I love you," he said.

"I love you more," I replied.

He shook his head. "That's not even possible."

"We can agree to disagree," I settled.

He wrapped me up tightly in his arms again. "So, since we love each other a whole lot, maybe we should go in there and see if the courthouse can do same day weddings."

I laughed. "Oh okay," I said, knowing he was joking. "I think Alice and Emmett would kill us."

"They'd get over it," he said, sounding less like a joke than I had originally assumed. "We could always do a ceremony and all that later. We wouldn't even have to tell them if you're that worried about it. We can just… be married for us."

"You're serious?" I asked, still unsure.

"Completely. I want you to be my wife, and I don't want to have to wait for some wedding plans to come together, that don't ready mean anything in the long run… And I really don't want our baby being born a bastard."

"Bastard?" I laughed again. "What century do you think we live in? Maybe we have been watching too much 'Game of Thrones'."

"I know it doesn't really matter, and being married is just a piece of paper and all that, but…. I don't know, I just don't want to wait."

"But Alice…"

"She'd get over it," he said assuredly. "We live with all the people who matter enough to want at our wedding anyway, and we see them every day practically all day. I just think it would be nice if we did this just for us. We can do the ceremony later…"

"You know… I actually don't really want a ceremony," I said, realizing just how true those words were. "I mean, I used to dream about the whole, you know… my dad giving me away, thing…. But he's not here, and maybe I kind of like the idea of it being just us too."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

I smiled just as excitedly. "Really… But Don't we need to get a license?"

"They do them here, and there's no waiting period."

"You planned this?" I said, realizing it wasn't exactly a spur of the moment thing for him.

"I didn't plan it. I would never make plans like this without you…. I just hoped for it…. Our birth certificates are in the car."

I laughed. "Too bad you didn't think to pack me something a little nicer to wear. I'm in sweats."

"Actually," he said with a smirk.

I followed him to the trunk of our car, and he pulled out a garment bag that I had never seen before.

"What's this?" I questioned.

"Rose picked it out for me… Well, for you."

"Rose? You talked to Rose about this, of all people?"

He shrugged. "She's your best friend, so I figured if anyone knew what you would like to wear, it's her."

"Yeah, I love her, but she has such a big mouth. I'm shocked our entire family doesn't know about this already. Hold on… are they all here waiting inside?"

He smiled, but then shook his head no. "I really wanted this to be about just us. We can celebrate with all of them anytime."

I smiled back at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now let's get inside so we can get ourselves married. I don't want to waist another moment of not being your husband."

I was so excited that I honestly felt giddy. I couldn't ever remember being that excited about anything in my life. It was absolutely the most perfect way I could have ever imagined to get married.

The knee length white maternity dress Rose had picked out for me, was absolutely perfect, and I didn't even mind that I was changing in a public bathroom. Edward changed his clothes as well, and he looked stunning in his slacks and button down shirt. It was a surreal moment, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I could be that blissfully happy. Unlike Edward, I had always believed in love, however I never knew love could be as big, and intense, and passionate as my love was for him. He made life infinitely more magical, and I was so beyond grateful to have found him.

When our vows were said, and all the papers were signed, I got the honor of calling the most incredible man alive, my husband. It had to be the best day of my life, and even though it was so surreal, I knew I would never forget it.

We didn't get back on the road that night, we just stayed at a nearby hotel, and enjoyed our wedding night in the best way possible - naked in each other's arms. By morning, however, I realized perhaps we made a mistake...

"So… we need to be at the prison by one this afternoon," I said as we got ready for our day. "Kind of sad that we will always have to think about this on our anniversary every year. Maybe we should have waited to get married after all."

"No way," Edward said unconcerned. "I'm pretty certain the motto of my life is to make something good out of a bad situation. That's exactly what we did… and are still doing. This afternoon is going to suck, but we are not going to let it get us down."

I smiled at him. I tended to do a lot of smiling at him.. "You're right. Everything about it was perfect."

"I'm just glad I'll have my wife there with me today. I like that so much better than just calling you my girlfriend."

"Well, I'm glad to be going anywhere with my husband," I told him, and couldn't help but smile so big by the word that my cheeks actually hurt. I had a husband, and he was the most incredible person on earth.

We finished our drive, and arrived at our next hotel, just in time for us to get checked in and grab some lunch, before we needed to be at the prison.

When we arrived, Tanya and Kate met us outside the prison doors, and it was obvious they were already having a hard time.

"Are you okay?" I asked them. It was a dumb question. Of course they weren't okay. Their father, whom they still loved, was about to be executed.

They each took turns hugging Edward and me, and then they asked him the question neither of us were expecting.

"They are allowing him one last visit with family. I told him you were here, and he wants to meet you. Would you be up to talking to him?" Tanya asked Edward.

"Uh…"

"I know you have no reason to care, and he certainly doesn't deserve it, but it would bring him a small level of peace. He said he never stopped thinking about you," Kate added.

Edward looked to me for some kind of help with the situation, but I had no idea how to respond. It was a decision he needed to make for himself.

"I… uh… I never considered actually speaking to him, but… maybe I should," he said while looking at me questionably.

"Its up to you," I told him.

"Okay, I'm just going to get it over with," he decided.

They only allowed one visitor at a time into the execution holding area, so Edward went in alone. I was so nervous for him, but I also knew he was strong enough to handle it, and quite possibly, it may even be another one of his pieces he needed to find in order to make himself whole.

As I waited for him outside with Tanya and Kate, however, I was about to have an emotionally taxing meeting of my own…

"Bella? Oh my goodness, what are you doing here?" Esme asked me as she approached with Carlisle trailing behind her….


	22. Resemblance

**Chapter 22 – Resemblance**

"What am I doing here?" I repeated, with a little more attitude than I was intending. "Uh, executions are open to family for viewing, and since Aro is technically my father in law, that makes me family."

"You and James got married?" Esme asked with tears in her eyes, but she didn't wait for a response. "You make such a beautiful pregnant woman, Bella. I wish your parents could see you."

"Its probably better that they're not here," I snapped back at her. "They may be concerned about my psycho baby and it's father," I said while glaring at Carlisle. "Then again, I really doubt my parents would be that big of assholes. They'd love me and my child no matter what. They'd love Edward too. I know they'd never turn their backs on any one of us."

"Bella, you need to understand…" Esme tried to say, but I cut her off.

"I'm not the one who needs to understand anything," I told her.

Esme was about to argue with me, but then she abruptly stopped talking, and her eyes welled up as she looked at something behind me.

"Esme, it's nice to see you again," Edward said as he placed his hand on my waist from behind me. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought his greeting was sincere.

"James," she breathed, and then she just started bawling. She made a motion like she wanted to hug him, but he clearly wasn't welcoming of her advancement, so she forced herself to pull back.

I watched Edward's hardened face as he locked eyes with Carlisle, but neither of them uttered a word to each other. "Its time to go inside," Edward told me after a moment.

He placed his hand on the small of my back, and gently led me towards the execution chamber.

"Are you okay? What did he say to you?" I asked him about his meeting with his father.

"It…uh… Wasn't really what I was expecting," he replied.

"What happened?" I pressed quietly.

"He was just different than I thought. I always pictured him as some huge… evil mystical giant monster. I don't know, I guess because his feet looked really big to me when I was a kid, or something… But he's just a man. Just a little, old, crazy man. He kept telling me he loved me, and he loved Alice, and he never wanted to hurt her because she gave him a son, and how I have his mother's eyes, and crap like that. I just couldn't get over how little and… I don't know, ordinary looking he is. I even stopped listening to him speak after a minute, and just stared at him wondering how the hell I came from him at all."

"You didn't come from him, you came from Alice," I reminded him of what she had told him before.

"I know, but you know what I mean."

"So, he's short?" I asked confused.

"I don't know if he'd really be considered short-short, but he's certainly shorter than me… by quite a bit. He's probably not much taller than you," he told me. "With how small Alice is, I'm not sure why I'm so tall. And he's quite… homely looking. I don't even think his looks are a result of years in prison. I can't imagine him ever being… decent looking."

"Well, he somehow married a beautiful woman," I said, thinking about the picture of Tanya and Kate's mother they had shown us.

"I know. I don't get it. He must have had like… a cult leader type of control on his wife."

"Maybe."

I risked a glance behind us as we continued to walk, and saw Esme and Carlisle following at a distance. They seemed to be moving rather slowly, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"What's up with Carlisle? He looks like shit," Edward said unexpectedly.

"You've never met him before," I countered, wondering how he could know he looked any different than normal.

"No, but I've seen him on TV before, and he looks like shit right now… And they are walking incredibly slow," he said while peeking behind us as well.

"I bet he has that flu that's been going around," I guessed. "He probably got it from the hospital he works at."

"Great. Now everyone in the witness room will end up with it. You really shouldn't be exposed to that right now."

"I'll be fine," I assured him unfazed.

We finally arrived at the witness room, and we took our seats next to where Tanya and Kate were already sitting with their husbands. I was surprised by just how many people were there packed into that small room. With the seating the way it was, and how every chair was soon full, it felt like we were in a movie theater watching the latest blockbuster, more than witnessing an execution.

I looked at all the faces there, and some were eager, but others were crying. Not out of grief the way Tanya and Kate were crying, but just crying from the gravity of what was about to happen. The room was certainly plagued with an extreme heaviness, which was mixed with almost a level of relief as many of the witnesses there were finally getting to watch the execution of the man who took their loved one from them so long ago.

Carlisle and Esme were seated a few rows behind us, but as they waited along with every one else, I could feel their eyes on the back of our heads. I glanced back at them a couple times, and each time both of them were staring right back at me… or probably Edward. Esme clearly was desperate for some kind of connection with her grandson, but Carlisle's pale, sunken in face seemed ambivalent as he continued to scan between Edward and the viewing window before us.

We waited for almost a half hour before a guard finally came in, or perhaps he was a doctor, I wasn't quite sure. The man gave us a quick explanation of what we were about to witness, and he also described everything that could possibly go wrong. As he continued to speak, I was suddenly struck with a shocking bout of anxiety, and it quickly started rising.

I never expected that reaction from myself. I never had an issue with the idea of executions before, however being there, and looking at the bed he was about to be strapped to as he took his final breaths, it was just really getting to me. I blamed my pregnancy hormones…

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me concerned.

I hated that he was the one who needed to be concerned about me, when it should have been the other way around. The main reason I wanted to go there was to be strong for him when he needed me, but there I was, leaning on him for support.

"I'm fine," I lied as convincingly as possible.

When the man was done speaking, he opened the door again to let two guards walk in, each of which were holding an arm of Marcus Aro.

Kate and Tanya both cried harder… as did some of his victims family members.

I looked at the man in the orange jumpsuit, with his hands and feet in shackles, and I understood exactly what Edward was talking about. He was not attractive, by anyone's standards, and he was visibly shorter than the other three men in the room. More importantly than his stature, Edward was also right when he said that Marcus was not some scary beast that lived in a dark creature horror film. He was just a man. A terrible man, but a man just the same. A man that carried absolutely no resemblance to my perfect looking husband, or his beautiful sisters. I suppose all three of them were lucky enough to take after their mothers. Even on a genetics level, their bodies somehow knew that man needed to be erased.

Marcus was given his right to speak his final words, so he decided he wanted to address everyone in the room. Surprisingly, he apologized for his actions to all his victim's family members, and then turned to his three children and professed his undying love for them. He followed his affections with a bible passage, and then willingly reclined back on the table, and let them strap him down.

My heart began to race again, and I turned my head away so I wouldn't have to look at it, but that was the moment Edward decided he too had seen enough. He took my hand, and then stood quietly, before pulling me to the exit. We weren't the only ones to leave before the actual final moments, but we hurried out of the building and found a quiet spot to be alone and decompress.

"Are you okay?" he asked me while holding me securely in his arms.

I laughed once humorlessly. "Me? What about you? That was…" I couldn't even finish my sentence.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken you in there."

"No, I wanted to go," I tried assuring him. "I want to be anywhere you are."

"Yeah, but watching someone be put to death… that's…." He shook his head.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry I spazzed like that. You shouldn't have had to miss it because of me," I said, feeling horribly guilty.

"Hey, I would do anything for you. You are far more important to me than some death of some nobody. Besides, I didn't leave just for you. I didn't really want to sit there and watch it either. It's kind of morbid that so many people do."

"James," Esme's voice sounded from behind me unexpectedly.

Edward looked up at her, and without showing even the slightest indication of how he was feeling, he said – "Actually my name is Edward."

She looked confused. "I thought…"

"Nope. It's Edward, and I have the legal documents to prove it."

She looked like she still didn't quite understand it, but she let it go. "Okay then. Edward… are you okay? I'm sorry, Emmett told us you and Alice didn't want to ever speak to us, I just… I just needed to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," he said evenly.

She turned to me. "How is Alice? Em had said something about how she was talking? I can't even imagine her talking anymore."

I nodded. "She has come a long way."

Esme smiled at me full of bittersweet heaviness, and then turned back to Edward.

"I need you to know… to understand just how immensely sorry I am for… everything you went through. When I first met you at the ranch, you just… you looked so familiar to me. You reminded me so much of Carlisle that I was certain you were the result of an old affair he had… I almost wished that was the case, because the truth is so much more horrifying. In the forty years I've been married to him, I have never hated him more than I did after learning that he… that he didn't allow you to come home with Alice," she said as her emotions overtook her, making her last few words difficult to understand.

I wanted to keep my mouth shut and just let her speak, because I could see just how much she needed to say that, and more importantly, it was clear Edward needed to hear it, however, her words pissed me off and I couldn't keep quiet. "You hated Carlisle so much, and yet, you stayed by his side. Emmett told us all about it," I said to her bitterly.

She nodded and used the tissue in her hands to try to dry her face. "I did, and I have stuck by him, because I've been with him for most of my life, and we have had…. a lot of ups and downs, but despite everything, he's still my other half… and he's dying."

"He's dying?" Edward asked confused.

"What do you mean by that?" I added.

"He's had issues with his kidneys since he was in his twenties, and over the past ten years or so, they have gotten so much worse. He's been on dialysis, but… it's not working enough anymore. He had to leave his position at the hospital, and that has always been his way to escape everything. So now, without work, and without you kids around, I think he's just giving up. The doctor treating him said he only has a few months left… I was so mad at him for what he did, but I couldn't leave him to die alone. I just couldn't…" she said before her tears devoured her again.

"Esme, why doesn't Emmett and I know about him being sick?" I asked, choking back my own tears. I hated him for what he did to Alice and Edward, but after losing my own father the way that I had, the idea of Carlisle dying too was extremely hard.

"He doesn't want you guys to know. He… he doesn't want to burden anyone, especially after Emmett told us he and Alice never want to see us again."

"We still deserved to know," I argued. "He's taking away our choices again. That's the worst thing someone can do."

"I know, and I told him that… I was actually planning to go against his wishes and tell you all when he got closer to the end, but right now… I'm just trying to do what he wants so I don't stress him out too much. The stress from his med school is what his doctor thinks messed up his kidneys in the first place."

"At least we know his screwed up kidneys aren't genetic," Edward said evenly. "I'd hate to have to worry about becoming psychopath and having kidney failure in my future."

"Why would you think you would have to worry about becoming a psychopath?" Esme asked confused, and clearly heartbroken he would even think such a thing.

"When you have a renowned doctor writing you a letter saying to watch yourself and your unborn child, that tends to have an impact," Edward told her.

Still confused, Esme looked at me for clarification. "Carlisle wrote to us, talking about the psychopathy of the Aro family, and how he thinks it's genetic. He said it was the reason he didn't let him stay with Alice," I explained.

She shook her head in disbelief. "Oh honey, I am so sorry," she told Edward. "You should have never had to read something like that. I can't even imagine how that made you feel."

"It certainly didn't leave us with the warm and fuzzies," I told her.

She shook her head. "I'm no psychologist, but I think you would know by now if you had psychopathic tendencies. I didn't know he wrote you letters, and I can only guess as to why he did. He must have been wanting to give you some of your family medical history; I know as a doctor that is important to him, but he just went about it completely the wrong way. We made the difficult decision to respect Alice and Emmett's wishes to leave them alone, so he must have felt he couldn't speak to you in person. Written words never come across appropriately. Its like all this texting people do these days. Its horrible. It takes all the emotions and intentions, and everything personal out of situations. I can't believe he did that. I would say he's not in his right mind because he knows his death is near, but…. I just don't understand any of it."

"I don't think any of us understand," I told her.

Something caught my eye in the distance, and when I shifted my attention to that object, I realized it was Carlisle walking towards us. Edward and Esme followed my line of sight and also took notice of him approaching, so we all quieted and waited for what felt like a long time until he finally reached us.

"I told you I would come back inside to help you," Esme scolded him.

"I'm fine. I don't need help," he tried convincing her gently, and then he too turned to Edward with a world of emotions plaguing his features.

"Well, it looks like today is the day to meet relatives before they die," Edward said coldly.

Carlisle glanced at Esme, clearly upset she had divulged his fatal illness to us, but he quickly let it go and looked back at Edward full of regret and longing.

"James."

"Edward," he corrected him.

"He said he had his name legally changed," Esme informed her husband.

"I'm sure you would have known that if you still had your private investigator shadowing me," Edward said bitterly. "It's been kind of lonely without him lately, seeing how he's apparently been following me most of my life."

"I just… needed to know you were okay," Carlisle told him.

"They said you sent them letters about him and the baby being in danger of genetic psychopathy?" Esme questioned him.

"I… I just wanted them to be aware," he told her, and then he reverted his attention back to Edward. "My psychologist colleagues all told me I needed to tell you about the mental disorder being genetic. They said it was important for your children, and even their children to know."

"So, it was important for us to know that you never brought him home because his father and grandfather murdered family members, and you were scared of him doing the same?" I questioned him incredulously.

"You told them what?" Esme asked in shock. "Carlisle? Is that how you really felt? You were scared of him? Of a child? You judged him based on something he had nothing to do with?"

Carlisle's face suddenly reflected that of a shattered man, and it had nothing to do with his illness. He knew he had done the wrong thing, and it was only at the end of his life that he seemed to be able to admit it… even to himself.

"I was scared of him," he admitted to Esme, but his eyes stayed locked on Edward. "I was terrified of you, because I was so sure I'd look at you, and only see him," he said brokenly while gesturing back towards the prison. "I couldn't… I couldn't even fathom the idea of you. What you were… Where you came from… What Alice went through to have you. I wanted it to all… go away. I wanted to erase your existence completely. I hated the very thought of you…. And it had absolutely nothing to do with you. I know it wasn't your fault. I know you didn't do anything wrong… but I couldn't… I couldn't piece together what I knew, and the horrible fear of you that I had. I couldn't… I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't bring you home, and force you to live with a man who… couldn't love you.

"Every child needs love," Carlisle added as his crying intensified. "And I was too much of a coward to give that to you. I knew if something went wrong, and you did turn out like your father and his father, it wouldn't be because of them, it would be because of me. Because I couldn't give you what you needed. I never wanted you to have to look at me and see… and see that hate I have for him, reflecting there at you. Even when I knew you couldn't find a loving home for all those years, I still thought it was better than what I could give you."

"Everything you're saying is about what you wanted, and what you were scared of, but it should have never been about you. What about what Alice needed?" I interjected. "One of the earliest memories I have is of her screaming for him throughout the night."

He nodded. "She was severely traumatized."

"By you ripping her child from her!" I snapped at him.

More tears spilled over his cheeks. "I didn't know he was the Teddy she cried for. She never told us his name; the social workers said he didn't have a name."

"I'm sure it couldn't have been that hard to figure out," I spat.

"The doctors I consulted said she would always scream, no matter what… and when I asked them about reuniting her with her child, they assured me that bringing him back would just create more lasting damage for the both of them. I believed them because they were the best in their field and they were my friends, and I believed them because I needed to believe them," Carlisle admitted. "It was the horrible nightmare that I just kept thinking we would all wake up from, and everything could just go back to normal. It was a nightmare that started the day she was taken… and it will never end… at least not for me.

"I know I can't take it back," Carlisle continued. "I can't rewind time and be the man… the father I should have been. Now… even at the end of my life, when I can see every one of my mistakes, I can't even ask Alice for forgiveness because I know that would just insult her. There's no forgiving what I did to her. And I can never make up for what I did to you either," he said intensely to Edward. "I can pretend to blame Marcus Aro for my family falling apart, but I know it was my fault. It was always my fault…" He let his words trail off as his emotions grabbed control yet again.

Carlisle turned away from us to try to regain control of himself, and after a minute or two he turned back. "I was afraid of not loving you," he told Edward again. "But… now… as I am finally looking at you in person, and really seeing you for the first time… I know that despite that fear, I was always so much more afraid of seeing you and actually falling in love with you…. Because that would have been so much worse."

"Why would that have been worse?" Esme asked the same question I had in my own mind.

"Because, what would that have meant?" he replied, only confusing me even more, and by the looks of it, Esme and Edward felt the same way. "How could I have loved you? How could I have been grateful for your life when that would mean I was grateful for what happened to my little girl. I was scared to not love you, but I was terrified to love you. And I know now… I know… I would have loved you right away, and I don't know how to love you and hate what happened to her at the same time. I don't know how to…. fix that."

Edward sighed. "Yeah well, welcome to my existence," he said, surprisingly genuine. His tone wasn't bitter like I was expecting him to be, it was almost sympathetic and understanding in a way I would have never predicted. "You think the idea of your daughter being raped is hard? Since the moment I was able to comprehend where I came from, I've had to live with the fact that I only exist because a disgusting pedophile kidnapped and imprisoned and tortured a little girl for years. It's in the very fabric of my being. I can't escape it. I can't think around it. My mother is only twelve years older than me. I know exactly how disgusting and fucked up that is. I've had to live with it every moment of every day of my life."

"Oh sweetheart," Esme cried. She kept a firm grasp of the fabric on her chest, as if she was literally trying to keep her heart from splitting into a million pieces and come pouring onto the ground. She was only a bystander in it all, and I could imagine how helpless she felt.

"I don't want your sympathies," Edward told her.

"And I don't want you to think that I've been trying to make excuses for what I did," Carlisle said quickly. "My pastor suggested that I forgive Aro before he dies, but…." He shook his head. "I didn't, and I wont. He didn't deserve it, just like I will never ask for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve it. But I did want you to know my reasons. I owed you my truth before I die. I just need you to know… not bringing you home to be with Alice, is the biggest mistake of my life. I'll carry that regret and that shame with me for the rest of my days…. I'll bring it even to my next form of existence, whether it be in heaven or hell. I only wish the word 'sorry' held more meaning, because it will never fully describe how I feel for ruining yours and Alice's lives."

Edward scrunched his brows. "You didn't ruin our lives. You don't have that much power. My life is actually just beginning, and its here," he said while rubbing my stomach. "Its building my own family, and Alice is living for the first time as well. You wouldn't even recognize her anymore. Because her life is not defined by what Aro did to her, or what you took from her; she's not defined by anything other than the decisions she's able to make for herself, and who she chooses to love. In the end, that's all that matters. That's something Bella taught me, and it took a long time for me to actually believe it, but it's true just the same."

"Bella has always been wise beyond her years. I'm glad you two found each other," Carlisle said softly.

"Is Alice really happy?" Esme asked longingly.

"She's living the way she wants," Edward told her.

"Emmett is still trying to get legal guardianship of her from you," I informed them. "He's worried you could come in and take her away at any time."

Esme shook her head no. "All I have ever wanted was for her to be happy. It wasn't possible before, and I wish more than anything I could actually see her happy… but I won't ever take her anywhere against her will. She deserves better than to be stolen from her family again. Edward… I'm so glad I got to see you again… Even though this isn't under good circumstances, I really am grateful to know you've truly found your way home at last." Esme reflexively reached up to him once more, and like before, she forced herself to pull back. She knew he didn't want her embrace at the moment, and it clearly killed her. She broke down crying again, so she excused herself and headed to the parking lot.

Carlisle watched her leave with a heavy heart. "She doesn't deserve this," he mumbled in the same self-loathing tone I had grown accustomed to hearing from Edward. And that was when I noticed it for the first time. Esme had mentioned how alike Carlisle and Edward were, but I could never really see it before. It was certainly clear now. As the two men stood besides each other in awkward silence, I could see exactly what she saw the first time she met him at the ranch. From their matching statures, to their troubled expressions, even the undertone of their voices sounded almost identical. In fact, strangely enough, Edward resembled Carlisle even more than Emmett and Alice combined. How did I ever miss it?

"She's a good woman," Carlisle added. "I know I will never be worthy of her. She has the most incredibly loving heart, and that heart just breaks everyday, over and over again, and its my fault. I know I don't have a right to ask anything of you, but please… please don't hold any grudges towards her," he begged Edward. "This was my doing. All of it. I have separated a mother from her children again, and I absolutely hate myself for it. She doesn't deserve the hate Emmett and Alice have for the both of us, just because she felt the need to stay with me in my last few months. I'm so grateful to her, but I don't want her to be alone when I'm gone…"

"Its not… really up to me," Edward said to him, obviously taken aback by Carlisle's desperate request. "I never asked them to break away from either of you. I actually told them I understood why you wouldn't want me around. I can't control how they feel…"

"I know that… but if… maybe if you could talk to them… after I'm gone, of course. I know they won't listen if I'm still with her. When I'm gone, if you could just… at least perhaps reach out to her from time to time. Just to make sure she's okay. Even if it's just an email or a letter… maybe even send her some pictures of your child from time to time. I know just how desperate she is for any kind of connection with you."

Edward stared at him for a moment, and then he nodded. "I will make sure she's okay. I promise."

The relief that washed over Carlisle was palpable, and despite everything he did, I was grateful Edward could give him that small amount of peace.

"Thank you," Carlisle said emotionally. "I want you to know… I'm so grateful I got to meet you before… before I leave this place. I was actually going to leave this for you in my will," he told him while twisting his Cullen Crest ring with his opposite hand. "But I see Em has you covered," he gestured to Edward's cuff. "I'm so glad. It suits you. It should have always been yours." He reached up to him slowly, but unlike what Esme had done, he didn't pull back. He must have figured it was his one and only chance to actually touch his grandson. He placed his hand on Edward's shoulder, and squeezed it tenderly. "I'm sorry," he told him with even more tears. His hand traveled up to cradle the side of Edward's face, and he stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, before leaning in and kissing his forehead. He whispered, "I love you," and then dropped his hand, and turned to follow his wife. He squeezed my shoulder as he left as well, but didn't speak again, and I knew it was because he was overcome with his emotions once more.

Edward and I stood there silently and watched Carlisle slowly get smaller in the distance, and when he was finally out of sight, Edward sighed. "Come on, let's go home."


	23. Moving Forward

**Chapter 23 – Moving Forward**

We didn't speak much on our trip home, but we held hands almost the entire way, and only let them separate when I needed to use the restroom. I knew Edward's thoughts were heavy with the day's events, and I also knew there was nothing I could do to help him, other than to just sit besides him, and keep holding his hand. It was something he needed to work out in his own mind before he could even begin to discuss any of it with me.

We stopped for dinner along the way, and instead of sitting across from each other on the booth like people usually did, we sat side by side, and continued to keep in physical contact. Even though we were both finding it hard to speak during that heavy time, we needed to be as close as possible to each other, and I was beyond grateful that he didn't seem to be pulling away from me in that way, as perhaps he would have in the past.

We didn't want to stay in another hotel, so we arrived home well past midnight. None of our family members knew exactly when we would be getting back, so they weren't waiting up for us, and for that I think we were both grateful. We definitely could have used one more night to decompress before they bombarded us with questions.

Given the extremely long and exhausting day we had just endured, I was expecting Edward to just want to go straight to sleep, so I was pleasantly surprised when our bed time cuddles quickly morphed into something much deeper. He kissed me goodnight, but the kissing didn't stop, and the next thing I knew we were both fully undressed and he was in my favorite location right on top of me.

I didn't allow myself become fully consumed by the incredible sensation of his hands on my body just yet, because I was still halfway expecting him to pull back with more of his issues with his DNA, as he had often done after an emotionally taxing event, but thankfully it wasn't a problem. He made love to me without hesitation, and he didn't seem to hold any guilt after he came into me either. Like with so many other times when we had made something beautiful out of a terrible situation, that's just how that night was - A beautiful way to end a terrible day.

When the morning sun disturbed our peaceful slumber, I snuggled into him closer, hoping to soak up every last second of our serene time together. Of course, our serenity couldn't last long, and the inevitability of being discovered by overzealous family members was soon upon us.

"You're back!" Alice squealed as she threw open our bedroom door, and immediately jumped on our bed. "Why didn't you wake me up? I wanted to see you the minute you came home," she continued as she tried to dig Edward out of the blanket dome he had buried himself under the moment she rattled the door handle.

"Go away!" Edward growled at her. "We don't have clothes on."

"I've seen you naked before," she said unfazed.

"Not since I was five," Edward told her after finally pulling the blanket down enough so she could see his face. "Please. We will be down in a few minutes."

"Okay, okay," she relented, but not before grabbing his face firmly in her hands, and planting a big wet kiss on his forehead. "I missed you so much!" she told him, and then she kissed me on my cheek, and rubbed my belly over the blanket I was using to cover myself with. "Five minutes, or else I'm coming back up," she warned us before finally retreating.

"She's never going to stop doing things like that, is she?" Edward asked groggily.

I giggled. "I don't think so. You know, I never would have thought I would be okay with my mother in-law jumping into bed with me and my husband while we were both naked, but surprisingly, I don't mind one bit."

"Oh, you're just okay with that?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Eh, that's just Alice. I love everything about her," I told him with a smile.

He shook his head. "Well, we better hurry up to get dressed before she comes back, or worse, Emmett does the same thing. What the hell is up with those two? I can't even blame Alice's ordeal because he is exactly the same way."

I laughed. "Emmett might actually be worse. They were raised in a very loving, affectionate environment. They made sure Alice had her space when she got home, but I think before that she was very much into all the family over-cuddling."

"So weird," Edward mumbled to himself.

We both dressed quickly, and then made our way downstairs without showering. I felt a little grimy after the trip and then our nighttime escapades, but smelling Edward on my body was definitely a plus that I'd never complain about.

"I was just about to go back up there to get you," Alice said while approaching to greet us once more. She stood on her tip toes and threw her arms as high as they would go so they'd make it over Edward's shoulders, and she held on to him as if he was her lifeline. "I missed you so much," she told him again, except this time it was full of intense emotions. She may have even been crying, but I couldn't see her face clear enough to know for sure.

"I missed you too," Edward replied as he held her back.

"How did it go?" Jasper asked me quietly. I didn't even realize he was in the room.

"It was hard… you know, but I think it was worth going to. How did she do?" I asked him while gesturing to Alice, who still wouldn't let Edward go.

"She missed him like hell, but…" Jasper nodded proudly. "She handled it. She's so strong."

"That she is," I concurred.

Finally, Alice released Edward, and then she turned her affections to me. "Bella, thank you so much for keeping Teddy safe," she said with tears spilling over her cheeks, and then she hugged me tightly. "I don't think I could have let him go if you weren't with him."

"I will always be with him," I assured her. "But, you would be so proud of him. He stayed strong the entire time, and even comforted me when I got a little upset."

She smiled at him. "He's become a very brave man."

"He certainly has," I agreed wholeheartedly.

Emmett and Rose entered the house a few minutes later, and of course, Em's greeting for his nephew was almost as emotional as Alice's had been. When he finally calmed down, we sat them all down and told them we had some things we needed to talk to them about.

"Oh, let me see the ring!" Rose squealed before either of us had a chance to say anything.

"What ring?" Emmett asked clueless, which was actually pretty shocking. Rose knew something and didn't blab about it before then? She was growing as a person as well.

"They're engaged!" Rose shouted excitedly, but then she paused. "Wait, or are you…" she put her hand up like she was telling a secret, and she mouthed the word 'married?'

Edward and I exchanged looks, and then I nodded at her.

"We decided we didn't want to wait any longer to be married," Edward told them. "So…"

"You eloped?" Emmett cut him off. "You got married without us? Without your mother!" he emphasized while pointing at Alice.

"It wasn't a personal attack against you, Em," Edward told him. "We just didn't want to wait for some elaborate wedding to come together. I know it doesn't really matter, but we wanted to be married before the baby is born."

"You could have done some courthouse wedding closer to home so we could all see," Emmett continued.

"Oh, Emmett, stop! I think it being just the two of them is so romantic," Rose told him.

Alice didn't immediately react to the news, but after Em finally stopped complaining, she surprised me by hugging me tightly. "Now I have a son and a daughter," she told me sweetly, making me tear up.

"Aw, Alice. I love you," I told her.

"I love you too. I'm so happy that you and Teddy make each other so happy," she told me.

"But no wedding bands?" Rose noticed.

"Yeah, turns out I'm not the best planner after all," Edward told her. "I didn't even think about the bands."

"It was perfect just the way it was," I assured him with a kiss. "We are going to go pick out our bands together as soon as we can," I told everyone else what we had already discussed.

"Oh, that's so sweet," Rose cooed.

"So… along with our great news, we also have some not so great news that we decided everyone should know…" Edward started, but then he looked to me to finish it. I had grown up with them, and had more of a sisterly role amongst the Cullens for a long time, so we had both agreed I should be the one to tell them about Carlisle.

"We saw your parents at the execution," I began.

"What were my parents doing there?" Rose cut me off with a joke.

I rolled my eyes at her. "We saw Esme and Carlisle, and… he didn't look too good."

"Well, that's not surprising. He works too much," Alice told us.

"No, it's pretty serious," I said to them. "We talked to them, and…"

"Why would you talk to them?" Emmett spat. "They don't deserve your wasted breath."

"They approached us," Edward said defensively. "Carlisle wanted to explain some things."

Emmett snorted. "Funny, he never cared enough to actually explain anything to you before."

"Em… he's dying," Edward blurted out. That wasn't exactly the way we planned on telling them, but I suppose it was for the best. No sense in dancing around the topic.

"He's dying?" Alice asked concerned.

"Of what?" Emmett asked in shock.

"Your mom said he's been battling kidney disease for a long time, and now he's losing his battle," I explained. "Dialysis isn't working anymore. Doctors said he only has a few months left."

Emmett was quiet as he considered what that meant, and I could tell he was conflicted. "So, because he's dying, we're just supposed to suddenly forget what he did?"

"Emmett, he's your dad," Rose scolded him.

"Yeah, and I made the decision to never speak to him again. So whether he dies years from now, or in a few months, never means never," he said, clearly trying to choke back his tears.

"I want to go see him," Alice said unexpectedly.

"What?" Em asked her incredulously. "Alice, he sent your child away. He's a cowardly prick!"

"And he's the only dad I have," Alice told him. "You don't understand because you don't have kids, but I almost killed my baby, and he forgave me, so…"

"You were twelve," Em argued. "You were just a scared child yourself, that is different than what dad did. He was a grown ass man."

"I'm not saying I'm okay with what he did," Alice maintained. "I won't ever forgive him for taking Teddy away from me, but… that isn't the only thing he's done. It's the worst thing he's done, but not the only thing. He also did some great things in his life, and if that life is actually ending, he should be judged on his entire life, not just what he did wrong."

"Alice, if you want to go see him, I'll take you," Jasper said to her.

"I know you would," she said to him with a loving smile. "But I want Emmett to go."

Em shook his head. "I don't know if I can do it. I'm not ready."

"Well, you better force yourself to be ready, because it sounds like he doesn't have much time," Alice said sternly. "He's our father, Em. We need to go see him, and we need to go together."

Emmett huffed, and then looked at Edward. "We did have a lot of great years with him… well, at least I did, Alice was miserable because of him."

"I do have memories from before Aro," Alice told him. "You were only a baby, but we had a good family," she told Emmett.

Em nodded at her, and then looked at Edward again. "I hate the man, but… I love him too. We were pretty close for a long time, and I do miss the person I thought he was, but my family loyalty is the most important thing in the world to me, and by family, I mean the people in this room right now. My dad wronged you and Alice in the worst possible way, so… I won't go see him unless you're okay with it."

"He's your father, Emmett," Edward told him. "You should go see him. Of course I'm okay with it. Hell, I went to see my evil psycho father before he died, and we all know Carlisle isn't as bad as him."

"Will you come with us?" Emmett asked him.

Edward shook his head. "I think we already said all there is to say to each other. I don't want to distract anyone by being there anyway. It should just be about you guys."

Em sighed. "Alright. When do you want to go?" he asked Alice.

"Tomorrow morning. We need to leave early so we can get back before bed. I don't want to spend another night a way from Teddy… and I'm bringing my boyfriend," she turned to look at Jasper. "You're coming with us," she informed him.

"Darlin', I'd follow you anywhere," Jasper replied.

"Well, if Carlisle's kidneys don't kill him, seeing Alice with a boyfriend certainly will," Rose mumbled under her breath.

...

So the four of them left for Carlisle and Esme's house early the next morning. It was almost strange having the ranch all to ourselves again, even if it was just for the day, but Edward and I certainly took full advantage. We made love at various locations throughout the property, just as we had done before our family invaded our love nest. We spent that entire day tangled up together like the newlyweds we were, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect beginning to our marriage.

It started to get late, but Edward wasn't concerned, and neither was I. We didn't wait up for our family to return, and luckily, when they finally did arrive, Alice must have been too tired to come jump on us the way she had when we arrived back from our trip.

The following morning, however, Alice grew impatient to see Edward once again. This time, however, she settled for tapping on our bedroom door.

"What is that?" Edward asked with his mind still jumbled with sleep.

"I think someone is at the door," I told him. "Care to guess who it is?" I asked jokingly.

"Well, it's not Emmett. He would have busted the door down already, so I'd say Alice." He sighed. "At least she's trying to respect our privacy. I guess we should go answer it before she can't stand it anymore and comes in anyway."

I giggled. "Get your pants on," I said before rushing to lock myself in our bathroom.

As I was in there, I could hear Alice squealing about how much she missed him again, and I couldn't help but smile at the sound. She really did love him as much as any mother had ever loved her child in the history of all mothers.

When I was finally decent, I exited the bathroom and laughed by the way Alice was actually sitting on Edward's lap on the chair next to the bed, and she was going on and on about how he used to sit on her lap and just how big he had gotten. Edward looked over at me like he was desperate for help.

"Hey, so… how did your visit go?" I asked Alice curiously.

"Oh, I almost forgot about that!" she told me. "I just missed Teddy so much that I needed to see him and I wasn't even thinking about anything else. Oh, here, I bet you want to sit on him, don't you," she said while jumping off his lap and inviting me to take her place. I gladly accepted, of course. "I like to sit on Jasper too," she added as she climbed onto our bed.

"So?" I asked her as I made myself comfortable against Edward's chest.

"Oh my god, you should have seen my parent's faces when they saw me kissing Jasper," she giggled. "It was hilarious. They were so shocked. Jazz kept blushing as I told them things… probably some things I should have kept to myself."

Edward moaned at the thought. "We should just start calling you Emmett 2," he told her.

"Technically I'm older, so I should be Emmett 1, and he should be Emmett 2," she corrected him. "Wait, maybe he should be Alice 2. Oh, I don't know. I realize now I probably overshared again. Crap! I keep doing that," she grumbled to herself.

"So, what did they say about his illness?" Edward asked, trying to get her to focus back on the topic.

"Oh… Yeah, it doesn't look good for him," she said as a matter of fact. "He wasn't happy we found out he was sick, but I think he was happy to see us. They really want us to go back down there again before he dies, but Emmett told them he can't promise anything. They want to see you two again also."

"Well, that would be… interesting," Edward said to her awkwardly.

"Emmett told them we weren't interested in playing 'perfect family' again. I'm not sure what he meant by that, but it made my dad sad," Alice continued. "My mom didn't really talk much, but she kept crying every time I said anything, and she cried really hard when we left… I think she thinks she's never going to see us again."

"Well, after finding out she didn't have anything to do with Edward being taken from you, how do you feel about your mom now?" I asked her.

"Emmett and I were talking about that on our way home last night. We both feel bad for her. So… as long as she doesn't try to smother me or baby me again, I don't see why there would be any reason to shun her anymore," Alice said hesitantly. "Would you be uncomfortable with her visiting every once in a while?" she asked Edward.

"I don't know," he said while considering it. "Is she as… affectionate as you and Emmett are? I don't know if I can handle anyone else kissing me all the time."

I laughed at him. "She's pretty affectionate."

Edward grimaced. "Where is she going to live? I'm sure she will be moving in here eventually too."

"Oh, she can stay in the den!" Alice said excitedly. "Emmett's house is going to start being built next week, so me and Jasper will move into the apartment, and my mom can live here with you guys."

"Great," Edward said sarcastically.

"Although, now that I think about it, maybe Jazz and I can stay in the den, and she can live in the apartment. I should really be here in case of an emergency."

"What kind of emergency would there be?" Edward asked confused.

"Anything could happen. Earthquake, volcano, typhoon, tsunami…. You just never know. I need to be here to help save you and the baby."

"Alice, none of those things happen here," Edward told her. "Besides, the apartment is like five steps from the front door of this house. What's the difference if you're there or in the den?"

"Five steps plus a dozen stairs!" she corrected him. "What if there's an avalanche and we can't get out of our doors? How will I get to you?"

Edward shook his head. "There's no possibility of an avalanche here."

"Or a flash flood," she continued as if he hadn't even spoken. "I don't have a boat to get to you, and I haven't swam since I was nine. I don't even remember how. There could be a fire too! I need to be here to save you."

"Okay, I'll give you the fire," Edward conceded. "Bella has certainly set the kitchen on fire a few times."

"Hey!" I protested, despite it being the truth.

"But there's nothing you can do that I couldn't do myself. I know how to use an extinguisher," he tried assuring her.

"Unless you don't even know there's a fire," she argued. "People die in their sleep from fires all the time, and if you are going to die, I want to too," she said, suddenly getting upset.

"I'm not going to die in a fire," he told her frustrated, while rubbing his face from the headache he seemed to just get.

"Hey, how about we talk about it more later when Jasper can be part of the conversation," I suggested. "I think he's really looking forward to the two of you moving to the apartment, so we will have to all discuss it together."

"You're right, we should wait and talk about it with Jasper, but he will end up doing whatever I want. He always does whatever I want. He's so in love with me."

"As he should be," I told her.

…

For the rest of the week I had to double up my average work load, in order to catch up with the patients I had to cancel on while we were at the execution. It was crazy busy, and I hardly had a moment to relax, so having Edward gone for a day as he and Alice went to the city for their appointments with Dr. El, was slightly easier. I barely had a chance to miss him before he was home and thankfully in good spirits.

"Did you make time to eat lunch today?" he asked concerned as I scarfed down dinner that evening.

I didn't even realize how fast I was eating until he mentioned it. "Um…" _Did I eat lunch?_ I couldn't remember.

"I made her a sandwich, but I later found it out by the stalls uneaten," Jasper tattled.

"Jasper!" Alice scolded him. "I asked you to make sure she ate."

"He can't force it down her throat," Edward defended him. "Thanks for trying, Jazz." Then Edward looked at me disapprovingly.

"I know, I know," I acknowledged. "I shouldn't be skipping meals."

"The baby will be fine either way," Alice told Edward. "I didn't eat for days at a time when you were in my stomach. You still came out chunky and full of energy. Of course, I was really weak, since the baby will take what it needs right from your body whether you have the extra food to spare or not."

I stared at Alice in shock for a moment. She could still be childlike at times, but then she also could be smart and profound as well. I suppose it was all just a process.

"Speaking of the baby," Alice continued. "Baby shower this weekend."

"What?" I asked surprised. "I'm not big on being the center of attention. It's hard enough opening gifts in front of people on Christmas."

"You need stuff for the baby," she said unwavering. "You're getting close now. It's time to get ready for it to come. Besides, you can't back out. The invitations have already gone out."

"Alice," I whined. "I don't even know enough people to have a party. It's basically going to be you, me, and Rose."

"Nonsense. We sent out over fifty invitations."

"What? I don't even know that many people," I complained.

Unfortunately for me, the rest of the week continued to speed by, and before I knew it, Edward was kissing me goodbye as he was leaving with Emmett and Jasper for a day of fishing, while us women folk got to endure all the thrilling games and stimulating blather that typical baby showers had to offer.

To my pleasant surprise, however, Esme showed up not long after the guys left.

"Hey," I said as I met her in the driveway to greet her.

"I hope you don't mind me coming," she said hesitantly. "I got the invitation in the mail and I almost fainted," she said with reserved excitement. "I even called Rose to see if it was a mistake. She said both Alice and Edward said it was okay for me to come… but she didn't mention your feelings, so…?"

"Of course I'm glad you're here!" I told her while reaching for a hug. "I hated not talking to you for so long," I said honestly. She was the only mother figure I had really ever known, and I loved her as such. What happened to Alice and Edward had nothing to do with her, so I was so happy that particular rift was mended.

And of course, Esme was crying again. "Oh, I missed you so much," she told me emotionally. "And look at your sweet belly. I think it's even bigger than it was when I saw you at the prison. Can I?" she asked while reaching her hand towards my stomach.

"Um.. sure," I told her. I was not the type of pregnant woman who enjoyed people, other than my husband, rubbing my belly all the time, but I suppose I was okay with Alice doing it, so I may as well let Esme too.

"Oh…" She started crying again as she felt the baby push back against her hand. "I've always dreamed of being a grandma… even before I was a mother," she said with a tearful laugh.

"Well, you already are a grandmother," I reminded her.

"I know," she said with a loving smile. "I hope to get to know Edward better as soon as possible. I can't believe I'm actually going to be a great-grandma. I thought I'd be old and grey before that ever happened. I'm so grateful to all of you for letting me back into your lives. I know it wasn't an easy thing to do."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I assured her. "Come on, let's go inside before people start arriving."

"Oh, I'm early, aren't I? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I have no idea. Let's go ask Alice. This is mostly all her doing."

Alice was basically bouncing on the walls with how excited she was to host a party for the first time. She had completely gone overboard with all the decorations and food that she and Jasper had prepared for the party, but it was easy to see how much she was loving every bit of it, so I didn't mind.

"Mom, you're here!" Alice greeted her enthusiastically.

Esme, unsurprisingly, cried at the sound of Alice calling to her. I could only imagine how incredible it must have been for her to see Alice, so vocal and full of life, for the first time since she was a little girl. It had to have been an answered prayer and a dream come true.

"Isn't it amazing that I'm going to be a grandma!" Alice told her. "But Teddy said it might be better if the baby calls me something other than grandma, you know, since I'm younger than most grandmas. He doesn't call me mom either, but he said it doesn't make a difference and that I'm still his mom, just like I'll still be the grandma."

"You know, you used to call my mom, Mimi," Esme told her. "She didn't want to be called grandma because she thought it made her sound so old."

Alice shrugged. "I'll need to think about it for a little while."

The party preparations came together beautifully, and people started arriving by the masses. I didn't know any of the guests who arrived first, since Rose had invited them from her work, but then I realized that many of the other people who came were actually patients and their family members. I quickly became emotional as more and more people kept telling me that I had made such an impact on their lives, and they wanted to celebrate me as a thank you. It was incredibly sweet, and the day actually turned out to be amazing.

I got so many wonderful gifts for me and our baby, and I was beyond grateful I had Alice and Rose there to help me organize everything after everyone left.

"Okay, what do we still need for the nursery?" Rose asked as she looked over everything.

"I think we have an entire baby store's worth of stuff here," Alice commented.

"You will be surprised by how much of this stuff you will go through in the first few weeks," Esme told me.

"Thank you guys, so much for doing all this for me," I told Alice and Rose. "Seeing all my patients come was so amazing, and it was all beautiful. I couldn't have asked for anything more, or even hoped for anything close to that."

"Aww, what are sisters for?" Rose told me with a hug.

"She's not my sister anymore. She's my daughter now," Alice told Rose as she joined in on our hug.

"I just love how close you three are," Esme said with even more tears. I honestly didn't know how a human being could possibly produce as many tears as Esme was able to.

"Oh, get in here, grandma! We love you too," Rose said to Esme.

"Really? Okay," Esme said, and then she walked closer to wrap her arms around the three of us.

"Look what happens when us men leave for a few hours," Emmett said as the guys walked through the door. "They thrash the house and raid baby stores, and then end up in a big group hug. Women… I will never understand them."

Alice immediately ran to hug Edward, and then she kissed him quickly before practically jumping into Jasper's arms.

"Why don't I ever get a kiss from you?" Emmett jokingly complained to Alice. She responded by sticking her tongue out at him, and then she quickly redirected her attention back to Jasper.

"Hey, how was fishing?" I asked Edward as he came to rub my belly and then wrap his arms around me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why?" he asked me confused.

"I don't know, you just look… upset, or something. Did Emmett kiss you too much?" I teased him.

He smiled at me. "Thankfully, I'm returning to you without Emmett slobber on my face."

I giggled at him. "Well, that sounds like a good day then."

"It was a good day," he replied before kissing me again tenderly. "I see you had a good day too?" he questioned after looking around at the huge mess.

"Yes. Surprisingly. It was a lot of fun," I told him. "Your sisters couldn't make it, but they called me and asked if they could come down in a couple weeks for a visit. "

"Yeah, it's a long way for them," Edward said.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Esme hanging back, waiting for her chance to say hello to Edward. So I kissed him again, and then stepped back so she could greet him.

"Edward… I'm so happy to see you again," she told him full of hesitant joy. It was clear she wanted nothing more than to hug him the way she had been dying to from the moment she knew who he was to her, but she held back and waited for his permission.

"I'm glad you could make it," he replied, and then finally gave her what she had been waiting for… he reached over and hugged her. I think he was expecting it to be a quick pat on the back type of hug, but she proved that Alice and Emmett's over-affections were a learned behavior by holding on to him for dear life, and bawling while doing so.

"I have been waiting to hold you since the moment I knew you existed," she cried almost unintelligibly. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to hold you all along," she said, getting more and more hysterical.

"Its okay," he kept telling her, hoping she'd calm down.

"Mom, hey listen," Emmett said after a minute. "I sort of need to talk to everyone, and I think you should be here to hear it."

Esme finally released her iron grip on Edward, and then looked at Emmett questionably. "What is it, honey?"

"Well…" He took a deep breath. "After we visited dad last week, Rose and I stopped by the hospital on the way home, and I was tested to see if I could be a kidney donor for him."

"What? Emmett, bless your heart, but he doesn't want that," Esme told him. "He doesn't want anyone to risk their life for him. He's been on the waiting list for deceased donors, but he has a somewhat rare blood type, and there's just been nothing."

"Yeah, I talked to his doctor at the hospital. His blood type is the rarest, which is why his best chance is me… Unfortunately, I just got a call from the doc on our way home from fishing, and… I'm not a match," Emmett said hopelessly. "I'm sorry, mom. I still hate him for what he did, but… he is my dad, so…" He let his words trail off.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's okay," Esme said before embracing him tightly. "Thank you for trying. I know how hard that must have been for you. Your dad isn't expecting any miracles, honey, he knows it's his time."

"Well, actually it may not be his time at all," Edward spoke up unexpectedly. Everyone, myself included, turned to look at him questionably. "When I was in the city a few days ago to see Dr. El, I also got tested… and they just called me as well… It looks like I am a match."

Esme gasped audibly, which pretty much echoed through everyone in the room as the shock of Edward's news hit us all like a freight train…


	24. Poetic Justice

**Chapter 24 – Poetic Justice**

"So, I'm a little confused," Emmett said slowly to Edward. "You decided to get tested, why? I mean, I guess it's kind of cool that you're a match and get to rub it in his face that the person he threw away is the only person who could have saved him, but.. I mean, a nice big middle finger probably would have sufficed."

"The irony of it is not lost on me, Em," Edward told him. "Look, if I'm being honest, I didn't really think anything would come of it. I took Alice because she wanted to get tested, and Dr. El said it was important to honor her wishes and let her make her own decisions. He assured me the chances of her being a match were pretty small, so I figured if her chances were small, mine had to be miniscule. It was really more for my own peace of mind…. Well, I guess it sort of backfired."

"You got tested too?" Emmett asked Alice surprised.

"He is my dad," she said defensively. "You should have let me get tested with you."

"Okay, the two of you are bat shit crazy if you think either of you are going to do anything for that man!" Emmett said strongly.

"You got tested," Edward argued.

"He's my dad!"

"He's my dad, too," Alice reiterated.

"He stole your lives from you! He doesn't deserve anything of yours, let alone a body part," Em said exasperated. "I can't believe I even have to say this to you, and I really can't believe you're just okay with Edward doing this," he told Alice. "He'd be risking his life, Alice. He may not ever wake up, and you'd lose him again, except permanently this time. Bella could lose her husband. The baby could lose it's father… And for what? To potentially save a man who tossed him away like garbage. There's no way in hell I'm going to allow this!"

"Its not up to you, Em," Edward told him gently.

"Edward, maybe you're not understanding the seriousness of this. You would be risking your life!" Emmett emphasized. "Are you really willing to do that to Alice? Are you willing to risk making Bella a widow and miss the chance to even see your baby? Because that's what we are talking about here."

"You do realize I take that risk every time I get into the car," Edward pointed out. "I have a higher chance of dying in a car accident than I do during this surgery."

"Its still an unnecessary risk!" Emmett maintained. "And what if this is genetic and you need that extra kidney back one day, or your kid needs one?"

"I actually did ask the doctor that, and they assured me it's not genetic," Edward replied. "They've mapped out the markers for genetic kidney disease, and Carlisle doesn't have it. His was caused by stress, and whatever medication he was on in his twenties due to that stress. First surviving medical school, and then having his daughter missing for over eight years - it would be enough stress to kill anyone."

Emmett shook his head, and then turned to his sister again. "Alice, tell him you don't want him to do this. Maybe he will listen to you."

"I don't want him to do it," she replied.

"Don't tell me, tell Edward!" Emmett practically shouted at her.

She was quiet, and almost appeared to sink into herself, but it only lasted a moment. She grabbed ahold of whatever she had been feeling, and found the strength to turn to Edward to speak...

"I don't want you to do this," she told him with that intense level of maternal fierceness that she reserved for only him. "I don't want you to live away from me, or go to the store without me, or even be on the opposite side of the house as me. I don't even want to be in a different room than you. If I really had it my way, I'd take you back to Aro's basement, and we'd just be stuck in that little space together forever… but I know that's not healthy. I can't always be with you, and I can't make this decision for you either. You're big enough to be married and have a baby, so you're big enough to decide what to do with this yourself."

Surprisingly, Alice didn't cry while speaking to him, but as she reached over to hug Edward tightly, I heard him whisper - "Thanks, mama," and then I was the one crying with Esme. I had never heard him call her any variation of 'mom' before, and by the look on Alice's face, it was clear she never heard it either.

She held his face in her hands, and then kissed his forehead before placing her own forehead against his. "You'll be okay," she told him confidently.

He nodded in agreement. "Now, if only I can figure out a way to stay safe from those typhoons," he teased her.

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Natural disasters are no laughing matter," she said, trying to keep her serious tone but failing in the end.

"Alice, this is crazy!" Emmett erupted. "You're going to let some doctor cut him open, and take a vital organ out of him, and give it to the man who took him from you when you were both only kids? I'm completely dumbfounded here. Bella, come on. You have to agree with me, right?"

"I…" I was at a complete loss. The entire thing was surreal, and I didn't even have a moment to really consider it. I honestly understood where Emmett was coming from, and I certainly didn't want my husband to have an unnecessary surgery, but Alice was also right. The only one who could make that decision was Edward.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I should have talked to you about this privately," Edward told me regretfully. "I really didn't think anything of it, but they just called me on our way home from fishing, and Emmett was talking about it, so…"

"Its okay," I assured him. "I agree with Alice. I'll support whatever you decide."

"The baby is almost here. You really want to be recovering from a major surgery right now?" Em asked, desperately trying to grasp at anything he could to convince Edward not go through with it. "Bella is going to need help, and.."

"Recovery is three weeks," Edward tried explaining. "Unless the baby comes super early…"

"Which it could!" Em cut him off.

"We will all be here to help Bella with whatever she needs, if it comes down to that," Jasper tried calming him.

"Emmett its all going to be okay," Edward added.

"You don't know that! I just… I don't get it. It's not worth it."

"But it is to me," Edward said, taking Em aback.

"Why?" Emmett asked baffled.

Edward took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "I've always had this… I don't know, nagging feeling deep inside of me. I don't even know how to properly put it into words. It's like this hole… and as I got older, it only festered. I never understood it, but it made me so angry all the time… When I came here, that anger diminished… but that hole… it's numb but its still there, and I thought…"

Edward paused, and then sighed again, and decided on a different direction. "Tanya had told me about this feeling that almost everyone seems to have. It's a… need, I guess; a need to be accepted and loved by their parent. It doesn't matter how horrible that parent is, or how badly they hurt them, people just have this desire to mean something to their parents… to be seen and… loved. It's an innate thing that is so hard to overcome, and when she told me about it, it made complete sense to me because that was what I had been feeling for as long as I could remember. So… I thought, maybe if I made peace with Marcus in my own mind, maybe that feeling would finally go away…"

Edward shook his head at the thought… "When I saw him… I didn't feel anything. I had no connection to him whatsoever. Seeing Marcus didn't change that hole one bit, because I quickly realized it had absolutely nothing to do with him. It was Carlisle all along. When I talked to Carlisle, I recognized that feeling, and it started festering for the first time since I had come here. I was angry, and bitter, and I felt like some sullen teenager who was pissed for being ignored again."

"So… you think the best way to solve that is to give him an organ?" Emmett asked gently, clearly still confused by Edward's reasoning.

"That feeling gnaws at me, Emmett! It always has, and I'm sick and tired of it. I've been holding this grudge against him since the first time I read my personal records when I was eighteen. I had literally been breaking laws and acting out in the hope of some kind of acknowledgment from him, and it's horseshit! I'm finally in a good place in my life for the first time, and yet, I still had those ridiculous feelings come back up after a simple short conversation with him. I don't want to be angry anymore. I don't want to have this thing tearing me up from the inside for a moment longer….

"This isn't even really about him, anyway," Edward continued. "It's about me… and it's about my child, and how fucking terrified I am of doing something wrong as a father, and not being able to ever make it right. There has to be an end. The resentment and the hate has to stop at some point, so… I'm choosing to stop it. I have spent my entire life working towards that choice, and it's only now, with having Bella by my side, and all of you as support, that I know I'm finally ready to let it all go once and for all."

"Fine. Forgive him, if that's what you feel you need to do for yourself," Emmett said to him. "But you don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I do… because I can't… fix all of this. I can't finally put an end to all of it, and be truly free of it… if he's dead. I just can't. I need to let it all go, and I need to fix what broke in this family the moment Alice was kidnapped."

"Its not up to you to fix it," Emmett said emotionally. "You didn't break it. You did nothing wrong."

"I know… And I know you don't understand it, but I need to fix it just the same. My father set all of this in motion, and regardless of it not being my fault, I still want to make up for at least some of it in some way. I have had this… issue with my blood. I always thought it was evil, just from having Aro's DNA running through it…. So now I have a doctor telling me that my blood is actually important, and something inside me can actually do good. That's… that's a big deal to me. Making something good out of something bad - It's exactly what I want to teach my kids. It doesn't even matter that it's going to Carlisle specifically; it's going to save a life, and that's an incredible feeling for me."

"But…" Emmett tried arguing some more, but it was hard to argue when Edward had so much unyielding conviction.

"Emmett… Carlisle fucked up," Edward cut him off with resolve heavy in his voice. "He made a huge mistake, and he was selfish, and a coward, and a douche bag. Okay? He was all those things, but he doesn't deserve to die over any of it, and I'm not going to just sit back when I can save him. If nothing else, I can save him for your mom, who has loved him most of her life."

"She hates him just like we do. She's only still with him because he's dying," Emmett argued.

"Oh, come on, look at her!" Edward pointed at Esme, who was crying uncontrollably, but somehow managing to keep it silent.

"Maybe she's just scared you're going to save him, and she will have to keep dealing with him for the rest of her life," Em suggested.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"That's reaching, even for you," Rose spoke up.

Edward huffed. "I wouldn't let anyone just die like that. There's been too much death already - Bella's parents, my sisters' mother and grandmother, Jasper's friends. Carlisle's death is unnecessary. He's the only grandfather my kids will ever have. I'm not going to take that from them…"

"You're really not going to change your mind, are you?" Emmett asked slowly.

"No, I'm not." Edward replied, and then he smiled. "Besides, I kind of like the idea that the blood and the DNA he was so worried about for so long, is going to be inside of him for the rest of his life. He wont be able to escape it any more than I ever could. It's poetic justice in a way."

Emmett stared at Edward for an extremely long moment, and then he nodded in acceptance. "I agree with you on that part. He's never going to be able to escape that. I hope it haunts him. I hope he takes this gift and realizes just how unworthy of it he is, and he kisses the ground you walk on every single day until the day he dies. You are far better of a man than he could ever hope to be."

"I just want to do the right thing," Edward told him.

"Okay," Emmett resigned. "But if you do die during this, it will have all been for nothing, because I will end up killing my dad in a fit of rage, and then I'll be in jail, and everything will be ten times more fucked up than it ever was before."

"Uh… Okay, I'll keep that in mind," Edward said disturbed.

Since Em finally backed down, Edward was able to turn his full attention to me. "If you're not okay with this, I won't do it."

"Oh no, you're not going to put that on my shoulders," I told him. "If something did happen to you, I'd never be able to forgive myself. You need to decide completely on your own… and it sounds like you already have."

"If I thought, even for a moment, that there was a even a tiniest of possibilities that this could be a genetic condition, I would save my kidneys in case one of our kids needed one someday," he assured me.

"Our kids are going to be fine… and so are you," I said confidently. "If Alice can be brave, so can I," I said with a wink to her.

"I love you so much," he murmured before wrapping me in his arms securely.

"I love you more," I told him while knotting my hands in the back of his hair.

"That's not even possible," he mumbled before kissing the spot below my ear that sent amazing chills over every inch of my body.

"You know, if you're going to take three weeks to recover, that's going to be three weeks of abstinence, and you know how hard it is for me to go even a few hours right now," I whispered to him so nobody else could hear.

I could feel him smile against my skin. "I'm going to have to make it up to you."

"Yeah, and you're going to have to make it up to me quickly, because I'll be giving birth soon after that, and we will have to refrain for an even longer period of time. I'm already having withdrawals just thinking about it."

"You know, the three week thing is more of a guideline. I'll be up to servicing you in a week tops."

I giggled at him. "Okay, I may just hold you to that."

"Good. I hope you do."

Edward being a match for Carlisle was terrifying, and amazing, and everything in between. It was just one more surreal event to happen in the incredible saga that was Edward. He was strength, and beauty, and courage personified, and at times, I couldn't even believe he was actually real. He was the most amazing person I had ever known, and I was beyond proud of him in every way possible. Edward would get through the surgery like he got through everything else in his life, and he would only emerge stronger for it. I didn't have a doubt in the world…

…

 _ *****A/N: Just curious. Do you agree with Emmett, or do you understand where Edward is coming from? Either way, you have to give it to him, he's come so far, right?**_


	25. Perfect

_*****A/N:** __So, it was pretty much split down the middle between people who support Edward's desire to save Carlisle, and people who want to see Carlisle rot. Lol. Reading everyone's opinions was very interesting, so thank you!_

 _..._

 **Chapter 25 – Perfect**

"Why are we going in here?" I asked with a poorly-contained grin, as Edward led me into a jewelry store. We had just finished an amazing dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants I had ever been to, and it seemed he had something more on his mind than just dessert.

"We are overdue," he explained, before telling the jeweler we were there to buy our wedding bands.

"There's no rush," I murmured to Edward. "We don't need rings to know we are married."

"Well, if you don't want them, I guess I'll just have to deal with all those horny nurses at the hospital hitting on me since they won't know I'm married."

I giggled. "I'm sure they would hit on you anyway. You're hot as hell, and some women just don't care. Besides, you're going to have to remove it during the surgery and initial recovery, so it's kind of a moot point."

"Okay, you don't have to try to convince me. If you don't want a wedding band…"

"I do!" I nearly shouted. "I just wanted you to know it wasn't necessary at this moment… but since we're already here, we may as well take a look."

He grinned at me. "We're going to do more than look. We're not leaving this store without rings."

"If you insist," I said playfully.

The jeweler took one look at my diamond engagement ring, and knew exactly the right band to compliment it. The two rings were perfect together, and I couldn't stop gazing at my hand and admiring the way they looked.

When it came to Edward's ring, he really had no preference, saying he only wanted it to be simple. So I picked out his ring as well, and luckily they were able to size them to fit us right then and there.

"We're married!" I screeched, feeling far more giddy than I cared to admit.

"Uh… we were already married," Edward pretended to be offended.

"I know, and I swear, I've never really cared about this kind of thing, but look how pretty they are," I said while placing my hand over his so we could see all three rings together. They looked like they were made for each other, just like Edward and I were.

"They do look pretty awesome," Edward agreed, before suddenly attacking my lips with his, making me squeal with delight.

As we left the store, Edward twirled me under his arm, and then dipped me unexpectedly. "Oh my," I said due to the way my stomach dropped. "This is very chick flick-esque," I teased him with a huge grin on my face. "Dancing on a public street, with no music? I have to say, I expected more from you."

He chuckled. "Okay, I'll finally admit it - Cheesy romantic chick flicks can mirror reality, and I still love them!" he said unashamedly. "In fact, after I have my way with you in the hotel, I think we should rent a couple. I have a few great ones in mind that I'd love to watch with you."

I giggled. "Sounds perfect. Let's do that now… especially the 'having your way with me' part."

"My god, I hope you always stay this horny."

I laughed again, and then I reached my hand up to flag a taxi.

We spent the rest of that evening wrapped up together. We made love, watched movies, and took full advantage of the private Jacuzzi in the bathroom. It was another one of our perfect nights together, and we soaked up every last moment of it knowing the next day was going to be stressful.

We were currently in the city, so Edward could begin the process of everything it took to be a living organ donor. Apparently there was so much more to it than just a simple blood test, and since Carlisle was running out of time, he needed to get all the pre-op procedures done as quickly as possible.

In addition to the long day of tests and exams ahead of him, Edward still hadn't even spoken to Carlisle about the transplant yet. Would he even accept it? The last we heard, Esme had said he was somewhat resistant to the idea, but that didn't detour Edward from still wanting to do it.

"All I'm saying is we should make sure he consents to the transplant before we start all these procedures," I tried convincing Edward the next morning as we were heading to the hospital.

"He's going to accept it. The alternative is death," Edward said unfazed.

"If you don't even want to go talk to him, then what's the point to all of this?" I asked confused.

"I'm not trying to save his life so we can be best friends," he argued.

"I understand that, but… what are you afraid of? You're going to need to talk to him about all this eventually."

"I just…. Maybe if I have all these steps done, and everything for the surgery is ready, maybe he'd be more inclined to accept it. He won't have as much time to consider Aro's DNA going inside him."

"Is that really what you're worried about?" I asked gently. "Edward, if your kidney isn't good enough for him, then fuck him! He doesn't deserve it anyway. You don't need to prove anything to him or anyone else. You are a good man despite Marcus, and especially despite Carlisle. You don't have to donate an organ to show anyone that."

"I not trying to prove what a good person I am. If that were the case, I'd be willing to donate to a random stranger like that guy on the news did. I don't need to prove anything to anyone, I just don't want Carlisle over-thinking it and backing out at the last moment."

"But that would be his decision, and it would have absolutely nothing to do with you."

"I know… except for the fact that I actually want him to live, even if he's still unsure himself."

"You have a need to form some kind of relationship or connection with him? I get it, but..."

"I don't need anything from him," he countered, cutting me off. "I have everything I need right here in this car with me."

"Alice isn't here," I pointed out with a smile.

"I love Alice, but I could live without her. Hell, I have been living without her for a long time now. But I know I could never live without you again. You are all I need in this world, and long after our kids move out and get lives of their own, I'll still be there, just needing you as much as I ever have."

"You're all I need too," I told him sincerely. "But even when our kids move away, Alice will still be there as well," I said confidently. "You may not need her anymore, but I'm pretty sure she will always need you."

"I was hoping Jasper would ease that a bit," he said honestly. "I mean, I'm happy to have her around and all, but there really needs to be some boundaries at some point. Her separation anxiety from me is getting out of hand."

"I think Jasper has eased it a bit; she was worse before they started…. seeing each other."

"You were going to say 'sleeping with each other', weren't you?" he said with humorous disturbance.

"I was," I admitted. "But I thought I'd be a little more conservative with my statement."

He shook his head. "I'm just glad she finally agreed to stay at home for all this testing. If she was here, she'd probably want to sit on my lap and hold my hand as they drew blood."

I giggled. "Can I do that?"

He smiled back at me. "Baby, you can do anything you want. See this?" he asked while holding up his new ringed finger. "It means you own me."

"Nice. I think I'm the proud owner of the sexiest husband alive."

"Think? Pffft! That's not what you said last night."

I smiled widely, and then leaned over to wrap my arms around his neck. "Okay, I know I have the sexiest husband alive," I murmured, before biting his neck playfully, and then tugging on his earlobe with my teeth.

"Hey, I'm driving here! You're going to make me crash the car, and then who will be left to save Carlisle."

I laughed at him again. "I guess it would just be a little more poetic justice."

"Well, forget Carlisle then, I just want to live myself. Think of your child, woman!"

"My child will be perfectly fine as long as you stay in control," I challenged him before kissing his neck again.

"My god, and people worried about my sanity. You are beyond crazy."

I kissed him one more time, before finally settling for just holding his hand. We managed to make it to the hospital in one piece, but the moment the nurse mentioned a blood test, everything got serious and I became concerned.

"He already had a blood test," I told her.

"He will need at least two more before the surgery," she informed us.

"Are you going to be okay with that?" I asked Edward slowly.

He laughed once. "If I can't give them a little blood, how would I be able to give up an organ?"

"You would be sleeping for that. Your issue has always been seeing your blood."

"Yeah, seeing all that Cullen blood that matches evil Carlisle is definitely rough on me," he said playfully.

"Oh, we can make jokes about it now, huh? Well, at least I know you're in a good headspace for that."

"It was fine last time I did it," he said more seriously. "But I would still love for you to sit on my lap while they poke me, the way you offered in the car."

"I don't think they're going to allow that."

"Are you kidding? This is Carlisle's hospital. They're going to speed us through this whole process, and allow me to do whatever I want for saving their fearless leader. He's like a god to these people. We've got all these procedures getting done in record time."

"They are certainly being more accommodating than I think they are for most people," I agreed.

I quickly realized just how right Edward was about receiving special privileges due to who we were. Every one kept telling us just how much they loved and missed Dr. Cullen, and how grateful they all were when they heard there was a possible match. We were given a private room to relax and wait in, and when they were ready to start the barrage of tests, I didn't have to just wait for Edward to finish; I got to stay with him every step of the way.

As he had assured me, Edward didn't flinch or even look put-off by the sight of his blood running out of his arm and through the tube, and once again, I was astonished by him. He certainly wasn't the same man I had found forcefully squeezing his blood out of a small wound. I wondered if there would ever be an end to the incredible things he was capable of, and somehow, I sincerely doubted it.

So after they took his blood, they also needed to do a physical, a couple different X-rays, and a CT scan to verify that both of his kidneys were healthy and highly functioning. We were pretty much at the hospital all day, and even I was exhausted by the time we were done.

We went back to the hotel for another night, and planned to head home first thing in the morning to await all of the results and schedule the surgery, but Edward decided to make one last stop before we go.

"This is not the way to the freeway," I said, already realizing our destination by the way he was heading. "Going to go see Carlisle after all?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot today, and I think you're right. I need to talk to him before this goes any further."

"Actually, I said you should do that before you did all those procedures," I corrected him.

"I know, but either way, I don't want to be left hanging for the next week or so. Its best to just… figure it all out now so I can stop worrying about it."

"Oh, you missed the turn," I told him as he approached the street where Esme and Carlisle lived.

"GPS says to keep going this way," he argued. "Damn, these houses are getting big!"

"Yeah, well this is one of the richest suburbs of the city."

We finally turned on to the right street, and then pulled up to the biggest house on the block. Of course, I had been there a thousand times before, but Edward just kind of stared at it for a moment with his mouth agape.

"Wow. Okay, maybe I still am bitter that I didn't grow up here," he said after a minute. "This place is getting my inner con-artist's senses buzzing."

"Emmett didn't grow up here either. Esme and Carlisle only moved here a few years ago," I informed him. "Come on, we can plan some big heist to steal from them later," I teased. "Let's get this over with."

Edward must have text Esme to let her know we were coming, because she was clearly expecting us.

"I'm so glad you guys are here!" she said while hugging Edward tightly, and unsurprisingly, she was once again, crying. She hugged me hello as well, and then the three of us went inside where we joined Carlisle in the living room.

"I'm glad to see you again," Carlisle said to us, but kept his eyes locked on Edward. "I wasn't sure if I'd get another chance to talk to you before…"

"Before the transplant?" Edward finished for him, clearly saying the exact opposite from what Carlisle had intended to say.

Carlisle sighed heavily. "When Esme told me you were a match for me, I… I didn't know what to think. I've basically been thinking of nothing else since, and…. I can't let you do it," Carlisle said slowly.

Edward huffed. "Look, I get it, okay. A monster came and did the unthinkable to your child, and the last thing you want is having something inside of you that… came from him, in a way. I understand it, but…"

"No, that's not it at all," Carlisle cut him off. "Honestly, that didn't even cross my mind before."

"Okay… then why can't you take my kidney?" Edward asked confused.

"I'm an old man. Getting a transplant from a deceased donor would be something, but I don't want to waste your kidney. You have your entire life ahead of you. You're about to become a father. I'm not willing to risk your life for me. I've had a good life… well, a good few years before Alice was taken anyway…. But those years were so much more incredible than many people ever know. I married the woman of my dreams, had nine wonderful years of being a good father…. I'm lucky, in that sense."

"You're talking like you've lived a long life. You're sixty. That's hardly an old man. You could have thirty or even forty years left," Edward argued. "If nothing else, do this for me. I certainly don't need your death hanging over my head for the rest of my life. I've lived with a shitload of guilt for far too long already, and I'm tired of it."

"You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about," Carlisle told him intensely, and then he took a deep breath, before steeling himself. - "Your life is not a mistake," he said ever so slowly. "I've had such a hard time coming to terms with that, because it means that everything Alice went through was important and necessary… but it is true. It was a difficult, horrible, painful, but necessary part of her journey that resulted in something incredible, and I know it was worth it to her. I know she would endure it all again for you, because that's what she told me when she and Em visited here last week. I only wish I had supported her and been the father she needed me to be all along… the father you both needed me to be."

"We can't go backwards," Edward told him. "So be the father she needs now."

"Edward… I sent you away. I separated you from your mother when you were already terrified of a world you didn't understand. She was the only person you had ever seen, and you never found a friendly face since then. You must have… you must have thought the world was a terrifying place. I can't even imagine… I sent you away, when I should have been worshiping you from the beginning."

"You had no idea I'd possibly be a match for you one day,"

"That's not what I'm talking about. I should have worshiped you because you are the only reason my daughter survived that monster. He murdered all the other girls he took, but he kept Alice alive because she had you, and perhaps even more importantly, she had a reason to want to survive all those years thanks to you. You have already saved a life…you saved Alice. You literally saved her from being killed, and you saved her spirit. Your very existence is why my little girl is still alive, and instead of being grateful and treating you like the gift you always have been, I… I turned my back on you…

"I am a horrible person," he continued emotionally. "Everything I have done to you… everything I have already taken from you, I can't take something like this too. I don't deserve it."

"Maybe you don't deserve it," Edward shrugged. "But its not just about you. What about what Esme deserves? Does she deserve to become a widow so soon unnecessarily? What about Alice and Emmett? They don't need to lose their father just because you feel guilty about what you did."

"They lost their father a long time ago when I quit doing what was best for them," Carlisle countered. "I haven't been a real father to Alice since she was nine. She's an adult now…. She doesn't need a father anymore."

"She may not need you in the same way she once did, but there's plenty she still needs. The one thing both she and Em certainly don't need is for you to just give up."

"I'm not sure I know how to be a decent father anymore. This isn't like learning as you go the way new fathers do with their infants. What could I even offer them now? I don't know the person Alice has become enough to know what she could possibly need from me at this point. Where would I even begin?"

Edward thought about it for a moment, and then he raised his shoulders. "You could offer to teach her how to drive," he said unexpectedly. "She's been nagging me to do it, but quite honestly, I'm terrified. Jasper would do it, but he can only see out of one eye so he's probably not the best teacher for her, and neither Emmett nor Rose have enough patience for it. The way I see it, it's your job as her father to teach her… so get better, and then go teach her."

"Alice wants to drive," Carlisle said with a half smile, while thinking about what that meant. "I never thought I'd ever see her want to do anything."

"She wants to do a great many things," Edward told him. "She's done being stagnant. She's charging toward as fast as she can go, and you should be there to see it. You made a terrible mistake, and then you ran away from it. You didn't go anywhere physically, but you weren't there either. She deserves to have her father present in her life again."

"But after everything I've done to tear this family apart, I don't think Alice or Emmett would even allow me to be in their lives again."

"Then keep trying. Keep apologizing, and keep persevering until one day they do let you back in. The worst thing you could do is to just give up. That's just being a selfish coward again. Dying is the easy way out. You want to pay for what you did to me and Alice? Then force yourself to live with that guilt, because trust me, I know from experience, guilt can be a far worse punishment than dying could ever be. Live with it, and keep doing whatever you can to possibly make it up to her. Alice is a very loving and forgiving person, you just need to give her a chance and she may surprise you."

"There's no such thing as atonement for what I did, so even attempting it would be an insult to her, and to you."

"You never know if you don't try, and with the condition you're in currently, there's definitely not enough time left to even scratch the surface of any type of reparation."

Carlisle grew quiet as he considered everything he was saying to him, so Edward continued in a different direction...

"I was watching the news the other day, and they did a report about a man who went to Disneyworld wearing a T-shirt requesting a kidney…. You know what? A stranger there saw his shirt, and decided to donate. A complete stranger gave away his kidney for no other reason than just to save a life. So if someone can donate to a stranger, I can certainly donate to my own grandfather."

"I don't want you to risk your health for me," Carlisle reiterated.

"You're a doctor. You know damn well the chance of this affecting me is slim. Besides, I wouldn't be offering it to you if I thought it would affect my quality of life. I wouldn't rob my kids of a chance at having a fully functioning father. I wouldn't do that to them, and I wouldn't do that to Bella. They deserve me to be at my full strength…. I've done my research, and I've talked to multiple doctors – this isn't going to change anything for me. My remaining kidney will pick up the slack, and I won't even miss the other one. People can, and they do, live out their entire lives healthy, with only one kidney. I mean, seriously, it's ridiculous that I can save you at no real cost to me, and you're still unconvinced."

"I don't know how to accept without feeling like an even bigger dirt bag than I already am."

"No, you're be an even bigger dirt bag for refusing. You know, I never had a father either… You're the only paternal figure I'll ever get… so, don't take that from me before I even get a chance to get to know you."

"You should have had that chance long before now."

"Yeah, but I didn't, and there's no changing that now, so stop obsessing about it. If you really want to make it up to me, do it by being a good grandfather to my kids from the very beginning. You are the only grandfather they will ever have as well, and that's pretty freaking important. Its all I care about at this point - Making sure my kids are loved, and cared for, by as many people as possible, is the greatest thing I think I could do for them. I never had a family, so knowing my kids will grow up in a big one is an incredible thing for me, and I couldn't ask for anything more. The past is over, so let it go; the future is what counts…. So make it count."

When Carlisle didn't respond right away, Edward became frustrated. "Look, getting your family back is going to be rough… but that's life. Life is hard, and its painful, and sometimes it's a struggle just to make it through the day, but you have to keep persevering, because eventually it will get better, and then it will all be worth it…. Just ask Alice. She's a perfect example of that."

"And so are you," Carlisle said while looking at him full of wonder and love. "You're a perfect…" he paused and then shook his head to himself. "No, that's not right, you're not a perfect anything… you're a perfect everything. You just are perfect. You're the very definition of the word, and I would give anything to have the opportunity to know you better."

"I'm far from perfect… but you do have the opportunity to get to know me better… You just have to take it," Edward told him. "I don't know what else to say to convince you that this is the right thing to do, and I'm certainly not going to beg you. You're a grown man, and you're capable of making this decision on your own. I hope you take it, but if you don't… then you're right about not deserving it," he said to him, before standing from the couch, and without another word, he took my hand, and lead me outside.

Nobody could save Carlisle if he didn't want to be saved, so it was up to him. I honestly had no idea what he would ultimately decide, but either way, I knew Edward would not be haunted by it. He had the peace of mind knowing he did all he could do, and that was the only thing that mattered...

…

 _ *****A/N:** _**_As always, I appreciate any and all feedback._**


	26. Home At Last

**Home at Last**

As a child, I had expected a great many things for my life, but my ranch was always the center of it all. It was the most important thing to me, and I could not even fathom the idea of anything ever changing that… and then I met Edward.

The ranch would always be important to me, but instead of it being the center of my life, it was only the backdrop. The center of my life was my family, and I finally knew what it meant to be truly happy and fulfilled. Of course, being constantly blissfully happy didn't stop me from almost hyperventilating by the thought of standing in front of a huge crowd of people to recite vows.

"Bella, breathe!" Rosalie demanded as I stood inside the house, waiting for the music to cue me to begin my march.

"I'm trying!" I hissed at her, and I honestly had to force myself to refrain from attacking her with my bouquet. I risked a peek out the window, and couldn't believe just how many people were sitting out there on our property, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

"Don't over think it, Bella. You will fall down if you do," Alice warned me. "Its just one foot in front of the other."

"That's easy for you to say, you love wearing heels, and you're good at it," I grumbled.

"You will be fine…. Did you take some make-up off?" she just noticed.

"Just a smidge," I admitted.

"Bella!" she scolded me. "You know I think you're beautiful in your natural state, but today is supposed to be fancy. You did agree to wear whatever I wanted you to."

"I know, but there's so many people out there, and its hot, and I'm huge," I whined. "I would have just ended up sweating it off anyway," I said defensively. "Who are all those people anyway?"

"It's a wedding, Bella. There's always dozens of people nobody knows at these things," Rose said, completely unfazed. "You remember my wedding, right? Half of Carlisle's hospital staff was there, and all of Esme's friends from her various clubs and committees she was involved in. This is just a typical Cullen wedding."

My nerves spiked.

"She looks a little green," Alice said concerned.

"Snap out of it, Bella!" Rose insisted. "The ceremony is literally about to start."

"I know!" I shouted at her, and then I needed to apologize for my outburst. "I'm sorry… Its just all my pregnancy hormones," I tried assuring them. "Honestly, how fat do I look in this dress? White is definitely not my color right now."

"You don't look fat," Alice tried convincing me.

"Well…" Rose admitted. "Okay, not fat, but it's clear you're ready to pop. I just hope you make it through the vows without your water breaking. We really should have planned this for a few months later."

"Nonsense! We waited long enough. Besides, I know she's going to be absolutely fine. I have a sixth sense about this kind of thing." Alice said confidently. "Okay, lets stop with all the worries. How do I look?" she asked while twirling around to show off her hot pink ruffled gown.

"I'm still not sure about the color," Rose said honestly.

"It's a little late for that," I said with a laugh. "I actually love it. Its definitely you," I told Alice.

"Okay, the music is changing," Rose squealed. "Ready?" she asked me.

"As I'll ever be," I said honestly.

Rose went out first, and then I took a moment alone with Alice to tell her just how much I loved her, and how so incredibly proud and grateful I was for everything she had done. Everything good in my life was thanks to her in some way, so how could I ever deny her anything she could possibly want?... Including the ceremony exactly the way she had envisioned it.. even the less than thrilling aspects...

When it was my turn to walk down the aisle, I straightened out the white fabric of my dress for the umpteenth time, and then I wove my arm through Emmett's, and held on to him for dear life. "Don't let me fall," I begged him.

"Come on, now. You have my little nephew inside your belly. I'd never let you fall," he promised.

"You do not know it's a boy," I said evenly as he began leading me towards the altar.

"Its most certainly a boy," Em whispered to me as we walked. "You're huge. Only a boy could be that big."

"Shhh!" I hushed him, since people could already see us and he didn't seem to care. I smiled at the guests, and felt more like a parade float than anything. Perhaps I should have been waving and throwing flowers instead of just smiling.

Rather than letting my nerves spike while looking at the countless faces I didn't know, I decided to look forward at one of the most handsome grooms I had ever seen, smiling back at me. It was definitely a surreal moment as I realized the gravity of the situation. It had been a series of amazing and unbelievable events to get us to that point, and I knew it was nothing short of a miracle… dozens of tiny but monumental miracles. I suppose it was simply meant to be. One of the most incredible fairytales I had ever seen.

"You look beautiful," he said to me once I reached the end of the aisle.

I laughed at him as if he had just told a mildly funny joke. "Sure, I do. You are so sweet," I murmured back to him, before kissing him on the cheek.

I looked over the crowd again, and needed to swallow hard to keep the contents of my stomach from coming up through my throat. My fear of public speaking had hit an all time high, and the anxiety of it was really messing with my head. Then again, I think I'd do just about anything for Alice.

"Come on, girl," I mumbled as my mare appeared at the end of the aisle, holding a flower basket in her mouth.

Thankfully, being the well trained girl she was, there were no issues whatsoever, and everyone Oooh'd and Ahhh'd, and even giggled with delight as the horse made its way down the aisle.

"Good girl!" I told her, before taking my tuxedo clad - three year old - Edward mini clone, off of her back. "You did so good, baby!" I said to him while peppering his face with kisses.

Rose grabbed the horse's reins and pulled her to the bridesmaids side, and Emmett came and stole my son from me, so he could stand with the groomsmen. Of course, not before tossing him way too high in the air, making him squeal with delight. It always gave me a heart attack when he did that, but I allowed it because of how much he loved it, and I knew Emmett would never drop him.

Finally, the sweet sound of the wedding march scratched off, and suddenly Bruno Mars's song: 'Marry You', began to play. Everyone stood to watch the bride make her entrance, and there wasn't a dry eye out there, or even a mouth that wasn't smiling. Alice and Edward came dancing out of the house, and by dancing, I mean they were straight up boogying to the music.

Everyone started laughing and clapping along, and many people started dancing to the beat as well.

Their so called 'walk' down the aisle, was only supposed to last two verses, but everyone was having so much fun with it, the DJ let the entire song play and everyone just kept dancing. As Alice reached Jasper, she began mouthing the words, and forced him to dance with her. Jasper was in no way a dancer, but he did it, because it was practically impossible not to when it came to Alice. I would have thought my sweet, but very reserved, and somewhat shy cousin would be embarrassed about dancing in that way, in front of all those people, but Jasper didn't have a care in the world. It was obvious that to him, there was nobody standing there except Alice. I loved the way he loved her, and I was so grateful they grew in love the way they did.

Edward left his mother's side to dance with me for the remainder of the song, but when it finished, he went back to her and I took my place in front of them as the reluctant, but loving matron of honor, slash officiant.

"Um…. On behalf of Alice and Jasper, I want to thank everyone for being here to celebrate this beautiful chapter in their lives with them," I announced with a shaky voice. I took a deep breath, and then I looked at Edward, who smiled and winked at me. Somehow I found the strength I needed in him, and used it to steady myself.

"Traditionally, this is the time when the minister, or me in this case, would to ask who gives the bride away to be married, but clearly this isn't a traditional wedding," I announced, which garnered a few laughs from the audience. "Alice requested this line to be altered as - _'Who gives this bride their love and support to be married?_ '"

"I do," Edward spoke up.

"We do as well," Carlisle and Esme added from where they were standing in the front row.

"As do we," Emmett and Rose both chimed in together.

"I give you my love and support as well," I murmured to her emotionally.

Alice smiled widely at me, and then she kissed Edward on the cheek and whispered her love for him, before he patted Jasper on the back, and then took his place as the best man besides him.

Thankfully, my public speaking nerves calmed, and I was able to get through the rest of the ceremony with a strong steady voice. When I was finally able to pronounce them "Husband and Wife," I was relieved and grateful I had done it. It was such an honor, and I knew I'd always look back on it fondly.

The ceremony had been amazing and a ton of fun, which was exactly what Alice had wanted, but the reception was an absolute blast! Every moment of it was a great time for everyone - The music, the food, even the toasts were incredible….

"Edward, get up here!" Emmett said into the microphone.

"Oh, I guess we are doing this now," Edward mumbled, before kissing me quickly, and then getting up to join him.

"Daddy wait!" our son cried to him. So he scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder, causing him to get a belly laugh, and he carried him that way to meet Em on the stage.

"My man!" I heard Emmett say to him with a fist bump. Of course he had taught a three year old fist bumps; I expected nothing less from him. "You got it?" he then asked Edward quietly, despite the fact the mic was on so we could all hear it.

"Yes," Edward replied with slight annoyance. He had already asked him if he had it several times in the last half hour alone.

"Okay great." Em turned to the crowd. "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Emmett Cullen, brother of the bride. And this is my nephew, Edward Cullen, and his little man, Charlie Cullen. We just wanted to thank everyone for coming tonight, and sharing in this magical occasion with us. Our family has been through… so much. We've had the lowest of lows, and we have also been blessed with so many highs that I still can't believe some of its real. Alice, in particular, has just completely blossomed in these past few years, and its because of Edward here, and because of Jasper." He paused, and then looked at his sister. "I don't think I'd be cool with anyone else for you but Jazz, because I know nobody else could ever love you the way he does… the way you deserve. Jasper, please come up here. Edward and I have something to give you."

Jasper looked surprised, and quite frankly, a little scared as he approached them on the stage.

"We have a strange but amazing family dynamic," Emmett announced. "Us three men… well, four including little man there… we are best friends, and brothers, and a few other things that starts to sound weird, but what it all sums up to is that we are family, and we love each other like crazy."

Edward and Jasper both nodded in agreement, and they shared a brief group hug before Emmett got to his point. "When I heard you were planning to ask my sister to marry you…" Emmett had to pause because he was suddenly overcome with emotions. "You came and talked to Edward and me, both individually, and we decided… right then and there, we needed to get this for you. We didn't even know back then that you were going super untraditional and taking her last name instead of the other way around, but… either way, this is for you," he said, and then Edward handed Jasper their gift.

"Aww, man… this is awesome. Thank you," Jasper said, getting choked up as well.

"What is it?" little Charlie spoke up.

"It's the Cullen Crest," Emmett explained, loud enough so everyone could hear.

"Oh, it's just like mine!" Charlie said excitedly. "And daddy's, and yours, and Papa has one on his ring."

"That's right," Emmett told him, and then he looked at the crowd again. "All Cullen men have been wearing this crest for hundreds of years. Usually it's just men in the bloodline, but… family isn't just about blood, and Jasper is now officially a Cullen… or at least he will be when his legal name change goes through."

"Thanks guys. This means a lot to me," Jasper said sincerely.

We were all a little surprised when they had told us Jasper would be the one changing his last name, but then again, tradition aside, it made more sense that way. Jasper never had any pride for his family name, in fact, he absolutely loathed the father who gave it to him. Alice, on the other hand, didn't want to give up being a Cullen, especially after Edward had legally changed his name just over three years prior. So now we were all Cullens, and it was absolutely perfect.

"So here's to the newest Mister and Misses Cullen!" Emmett said while holding up his glass of champagne. "You've officially been branded," he told Jasper after tying the cuff into place. "There's no escaping us now."

"I don't need to escape. I'm right where I want to be," Jasper told him confidently.

A few other people gave toasts as well, and then more dancing ensued. Charlie wanted to dance, so I got my first ever mother-son dance. It was the sweetest thing ever and completely melted my heart, but I suppose I wasn't a very good dance partner with my giant belly and two left feet, so he quickly ran off to dance with Alice. I used his distraction to search out my second favorite dance partner, and I found him chatting with Carlisle.

"Hey, there you are," I said while hugging him from behind.

"Done with the dance already?" Edward asked me. "I was getting ready to cut in."

"I don't know. My last partner had some killer moves. Do you think you can compete with that?"

"Pfft, I taught him everything he knows," Edward said playfully.

"Bella, I just want to tell you what an amazing job you did today," Carlisle said to me before Edward had a chance to pull me away to the dance floor.

"Was it really okay?" I asked, still unsure. "I was so nervous."

"You handled it beautifully," he assured me.

"How are you feeling about all of it?" I asked hesitantly, knowing he missed his only opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle. It happened exactly the way Alice had wanted it, since Edward was still the single most important person in the world to her and she didn't want anyone else to do it, but I was still curious how it made him feel, as her father, to not get the chance.

Carlisle smiled. "I feel nothing but gratitude and happiness just to be here," he said sincerely. "I never thought this would be possible for her, so… I'm just in awe of everything."

The music changed, and then Esme approached us with a suddenly exhausted looking Charlie. "I think he's just about done for the night."

"I see that. Did you kiss Alma goodnight?" I asked him. Alice had decided she wanted to be called "Alma" right after Charlie was born, as a way to combine Alice and grandma. I thought was really sweet, and Charlie loved calling her that as well. In fact, he had developed little nicknames for just about everyone in our family, and each and every one of them would light up whenever they heard him calling them.

Charlie nodded to answer my question, and then yawned.

"Okay, say goodnight to Papa and Mimi, too."

"Oh, I was planning to take him inside myself," Esme offered. "You should stay and dance. Enjoy yourselves before that baby comes."

"Esme, it's your daughter's wedding. I can't ask you to do that," I told her.

"You didn't ask me, and the wedding is over anyway, so I'm not going to miss anything. I'm actually pretty tired myself."

"Okay then, if you really don't mind."

"I don't mind one bit. Give Daddy and Mommy a kiss goodnight," Esme said to Charlie. After he kissed us, Esme looked at her husband. "I'll probably fall asleep in there with him. Just come wake me up when you're ready to leave."

"Okay, see you in a bit," he told her.

Much to Edward's relief, Esme and Carlisle did not move onto the ranch with the rest of us after Carlisle's life saving surgery. However, they did move to a much smaller property nearby. It was definitely a win-win situation; they were close enough that we saw them often, but still far enough to make sure Alice felt like she could have her space and independence from her parents, which was important to her after being treated like a child by them for so long.

Carlisle's health drastically improved since receiving Edward's kidney. They both had recovered from their surgeries quickly, and Carlisle was given a new lease on life, while Edward was given the chance to bond with a paternal figure for the first time in his life. The donation was just the beginning of their relationship, and they soon grew so close to the point that you couldn't even tell they didn't known each other all along. When we went out anywhere, or met anyone new while we were with them, people always assumed Carlisle was Edward's father due to how alike they were. Most of the time they wouldn't bother correcting them unless they got to know them better.

As predicted, Alice forgave her father fairly easily. She was far too happy, and far too grateful for everything she did have, to waste time by holding any grudges or having feelings of ill will towards anyone. She forgave, but she didn't forget it, and despite enjoying their occasional company, she had no interest in being as close to either of her parents as she was to the rest of us.

Emmett, on the other hand, needed much more convincing before he was willing to move past everything that his father did. After the surgery, he didn't want to visit Carlisle, and couldn't comprehend why Edward would. He hated the idea of Carlisle going anywhere near Edward socially, or the ranch. However, after several months of his bitterness every time Edward did visit Carlisle, Edward finally asked him – "If Alice and I can both forgive him for what he did to us, why can't you?"

Emmett started making an effort to at least tolerate his father after that. It had been a slow, ongoing process, but after a little more than three years, Emmett had finally gotten to the point where he was beginning to enjoy his father's company again.

Since neither Alice, nor Emmett wanted their parents around them constantly, Carlisle had decided to use his retirement as a fill-in for whenever the local hospital and clinic needed coverage, and he would also do pro bono home visits to anyone who needed a doctor and couldn't get out easily. Esme picked up a part time job at a nearby floral shop, and she also volunteered at the library, which helped her pass the time. They both seemed happy with where their lives currently were, and any amount of time they got with the family was special to them.

As much as Alice wanted to live her own life, she still had a hard time being away from Edward. She did eventually agree that the apartment was close enough, so that's where she and Jasper planned on staying indefinitely. Emmett's and Rosalie's newly built home turned out wonderfully, and only added to the already beautiful scenery of the ranch.

Every one of our family members cherished our son from the moment he was born. He was Edward's mini me, and he had a fiery personality to match the copper tones of his wild hair. Like Edward, he carried Aro's mother's green eyes, but also like Edward, there was absolutely nothing else about him that even closely resembled that horrible man.

Of all our family members, little Charlie was the closest to his Alma. Alice had said from the moment he was born, just how much he looked like Edward did as a baby. She would spend hours just rocking and cooing at him, and she truly saw his life as her second chance - Her way to get back a part of what she lost when Edward was taken from her.

In the beginning, however, Alice was a little possessive and over-protective of Charlie whenever her parents would come to visit. She particularly didn't want Carlisle to get too close to him. He understood it - we all did. As much as Edward wanted our son to have all the love and family he could get, he told Carlisle and Esme that Alice needed to be comfortable with them being around Charlie in order for them to be. Again, they understood, and they patiently waited for her to be able to relax enough to let them spend some real time with him.

Thankfully, she eventually learned to trust that her father was never going to do anything to separate her from the baby, the way he had separated her from Edward, and she finally allowed them to be active members of Charlie's family.

Alice was Charlie's "Alma", and he was her "Lee-Bear". I honestly loved few things more than watching the two of them play together. She was the one who always took care of him while I worked with my patients, and she was also the one who single handedly taught him to ride a horse from the moment he was able to walk. For three years old, he was already completely comfortable, and knew just how to keep in control of our highly trained and extremely gentle animals. He would even help Jasper with all their care, simply because he loved them almost as much as Alice did.

Alice, Jasper, and Charlie's mutual affections for our horses, was what gave Alice the idea to have the mare be the so called "flower girl" for her wedding, and of course, Charlie was the ring bearer...

"So… can I ask you something?" Edward asked hesitantly, as we were enjoying a slow dance after Esme took Charlie to bed.

"You can ask me anything," I said to him lovingly.

"Is this… the same dress you wore to our wedding?"

I giggled. "Why, because it looks like a big white tent on me, just like my wedding dress did?"

"It doesn't look anything like a tent," he argued. "You look beautiful, as always…. But, it is the same dress, right? I mean, why would you need to buy a new white maternity dress? And why the heck are you and Rose both wearing white anyway?"

"Um, no, it is not the same dress. Alice would never let me wear the same dress twice, and it is white because she wanted her hot pink gown to stand out. You should know better than to question anything your mother does anymore. Just be happy she didn't make you guys wear purple the way she had originally planned."

"So, do you regret not having a big wedding like this for us?" he asked sweetly.

"Actually, I was just thinking just how grateful I am we eloped."

"Really? You don't miss getting the chance to pick out a dress, and table decorations, and all that other stuff?"

"Not even a little," I said honestly. "But speaking of our wedding, I'm a little offended you don't remember what my dress looked like. It was just the two if us, it's not like there were a ton of other women's dresses there to distract you," I said playfully.

"I am never distracted by other women's anything," he said like the romantic, dutiful, husband he was. "And even though I can't remember what you were wearing, I know I'll never forget how you looked," he said, making me swoon…. almost.

"You stole that line from a chick flick, didn't you?" I said, knowing it sounded familiar.

He smiled crookedly at me. "Is 'Father of the Bride' a chick flick?"

"Uh… duh."

"Okay, yeah, that line was sort of like what a character said in that movie, but it just popped into my head right now because it's absolutely true. You were stunning on our wedding day, just like you're stunning now, and I'm sorry to say, I won't remember either dress."

"Stunning, and fat… both times," I corrected him.

"Stunning, and beautiful," he said while kissing my neck, and then he left a trail of kisses as he continued lying to me. "And sexy, and gorgeous, and super fine, and hot as hell, and sexy…"

"You already said sexy," I told him with a smile.

"Well, that's because it's so true it needed to be said twice."

I laughed at him. "Sure, I'm sexy… to a whale."

"I may just have a sperm whale in my pants," he said, making me stare at him for a moment, before I busted out with laughter.

"You better watch yourself with lines like that. You know how horny I get while I'm pregnant."

"While you're pregnant? Babe, you are always horny."

"That's true," I conceded. "You know, my doc did say a lot of sex could bring on labor… and I'm so ready for this baby to come out."

"If sex brought on labor, you would have had that baby a long time ago," he pointed out.

"But it wasn't ready a long time ago. He or she should be ready now though."

"Do you think anyone would notice if we disappeared?" he asked seductively.

"You know Alice will hunt you down until she finds you."

"We better make it a quick one then," he said before dragging me off to a dark secluded area of the property.

Luckily, we finished our quickie before Alice even noticed our absence, and we were satisfied enough to get us through the rest of the party.

When the last guest finally left, our immediate family, including Carlisle, all gathered together in the living room to reminisce and tell stories about that day's amazing event. Esme had somehow managed to stay awake, and she too joined us as well.

"Bella was so nervous to speak in front of everyone, I seriously thought she was going to lose her lunch," Rose told everyone.

"Since when do you have stage fright?" Emmett asked me.

"I don't know. It wasn't just the speaking, did you see those monster heels Alice made me wear? I'm thirty nine weeks pregnant! I was so sure I was going to fall flat on my face and end up giving the baby brain damage or something."

"Hey, those heels are amazing!" Alice said defensively. "And they made your dress. Without them the dress was just too plain."

"Did you see how drunk cousin Garrett was?" Emmett asked Carlisle. "Daum! That man must have drank half the tequila there."

"Yes, and I did ask him to slow it down. The bartender started only giving him soda, and he didn't even notice the difference. I made sure an Uber was here to take him home."

"He was plastered because he didn't know how to handle his newfound affections for Kate," Rose said with a laugh. "He fell in love with her right there on the dance floor."

"My sister, Kate?" Edward asked surprised.

"Yep."

Edward shrugged. "Well, her divorce just finalized. Maybe I could set them up."

"Um, Garrett is your second cousin… or something like that," I reminded him. "You don't need to set him up with your sister."

"They're not related to each other," Edward rebutted, clearly seeing nothing wrong with it.

"Don't you think we have enough weird family connections around here?" I asked.

"Eh, nothing wrong with a little family bonding."

"Sure makes holidays easier," Emmett agreed.

"Hey, I just want to thank everyone again, for everything you guys have all done," Jasper spoke up. "This is the best family anyone could ever ask for… and for awhile there, I thought my chances at having a family were over. I want you all to know how grateful I am to you all for being so welcoming."

Emmett laughed at him. "You've sort of been in our family since Bella and her dad first moved in with us when we were all kids."

"I know, but you know what I mean."

"We love you, bro. Couldn't have asked for a better guy for my sister," Emmett added.

"Can I call you, dad?" Edward teased him.

"Sure you can, but only if I can call you 'little man' like you call Charlie."

Edward pretended to consider it. "Maybe we should just stick to our first names."

"Well, I want to thank everyone as well," Alice announced. "This was the best day of my life, and I'm so glad everyone was here to share it with us. Now, if you don't mind, we are going upstairs to kiss Lee-Bear on the head, before we go home," she said while grabbing Jasper's hand, and pulling him towards the stairs. They came down a couple minutes later, and then Alice kissed Edward's forehead, before kissing my cheek and rubbing my belly. "We are off to go do the things newlyweds do," she said unashamedly, and then they left.

Emmett and Rose decided to head to their house for the night as well, which just left us with Carlisle and Esme. We figured they'd follow them out, but they surprised us by hanging back.

"Before we go, I just wanted to say thank you," Carlisle told Edward sincerely.

"Uh… I had nothing to do with any of this today. I just basically did whatever I was told."

"You had everything to do with it," Carlisle corrected him. "Without you, none of this would have been even remotely possible. You saved our family in every way, and I just want you to know how grateful I am to you… for absolutely everything. I know I've thanked you for all that before…"

"Only about seven hundred times," Edward grumbled.

"But I will keep thanking you for the rest of my days. You didn't have to come looking for Alice. You didn't have to stay and fix our family, and you certainly didn't have to help me when I was sick, but… you did, and you're just the best person I know. You were right…. back before the transplant, when you told me life was worth fighting for, you were right because nothing could be more true. These past few years have been incredible, and its all because of you."

"Are you dying again?" Edward asked confused.

Carlisle smiled at him. "No, weddings just make me feel nostalgic… especially this one, considering how far Alice has come since you returned to her. I love you, son. I'm never going to stop telling you that."

"I love you, too," Edward replied.

Carlisle and Esme each took a turn kissing Edward lovingly on the forehead, and then they kissed me goodnight as well, before finally heading for the door.

"You'll call us if anything happens with that baby, right?" Esme asked me as she was walking out.

"Of course."

"No matter what time it is, we want to know," she reiterated.

"I promise," I assured her.

She stroked my face, and then left and closed the door behind her.

"Thank God!" Edward said full of humorous relief. "I was beginning to think they were never going to leave."

I giggled. "Well, now that we're alone… except for the sleeping toddler upstairs, that is…. what should we do with ourselves?" I asked suggestively.

"How... in the world… are you still horny after such a long exhausting day like this one? Nine months pregnant, none the less," he asked as he slowly began disrobing me, one article of clothing at a time.

I smiled at him full of eager anticipation. "I always have energy for you."

"I'm learning that about you."

"You're still learning It? After four years together?" I asked surprised.

"I just keep waiting for that libido of yours to slow down… Having babies hasn't done it yet, I may have to wait for menopause."

I laughed at him again. "Don't count on it."

I actually was pretty tired, so after making love only more time that evening, I quickly drifted off to sleep… for a few hours anyway.

At three thirty the next morning, I woke up and felt the strong urge to need to stretch, so I got up, and there went my water.

"Edward, wake up!" I told hold him, a little more aggressively than I had intended.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, confused from being still mostly asleep.

"My water just broke."

"Seriously?" he asked unsure.

"Yes! Why would I wake you up just to joke about that?"

"Are you horny again? Because I wouldn't put it past you," he teased me.

"Just get the bags!" I said, in one of the few rare occasions that I wasn't in the mood for his jokes.

As Edward got our bags, I text Emmett who promised to be sleeping with his phone until the baby arrived. He came quickly to stay with Charlie, and Rose decided she wanted to head over the hospital right away with us.

Alice had wanted us to inform her the moment I went into labor as well, but with it being her wedding night, and the probability of the baby not actually coming for hours, we decided to just text her from the hospital. Of course, she must have heard our car engine starting, because before Edward could even put the car into reverse, Alice came barreling down the stairs of the apartment.

"You're leaving without me?" she shouted at Edward through the driver's window.

"Its your wedding night. We were going to call you as soon as she got closer," he said defensively.

"I told you to wake me up the moment she went into labor," she said while smacking him playfully.

"Okay, okay, get into the car then!" he told her in a rush.

"Bella, I don't mean to pressure you or anything, but if you have this baby before seven A.M. this morning, I win the baby-bet jackpot," Rose mentioned as we were heading into the hospital. I didn't respond to her except to just glare.

"Or you could just have it when it's ready," she said meekly.

Rose had also texted Esme, so she met us at the hospital a little while later, and Carlisle came with her, because he certainly still felt the need to attend all hospital visits by any members of our family; he even helped the staff out by doing some rounds as I labored.

Once again, we had no idea what our baby's gender was, because it too refused to show us anything on the ultrasounds, but we were okay with that - It did make the birth a little more exciting.

Three hours later, it was time to push. Esme and Rose left the room to give us a little more privacy, just as they had done when Charlie was born. Those first few moments were reserved for Edward and me… and Alice of course.

Thirty minutes of pushing went by like they were hours, but then our little girl entered the world in all her beautiful screaming glory.

We ended up naming her after our mothers - Elizabeth Renée Cullen. Elizabeth was Alice's middle name, and Renée was my mother's first name. Lizzy, for short, had big yummy chubby cheeks, and a full head of dark curls. She was absolutely perfect, just like her big brother.

When Emmett brought Charlie to the hospital to meet his new baby sister, I finally understood why Esme cried so much. I was absolutely bawling as I watched Charlie kissing Lizzy and telling her how much he loved her. It was just another perfect moment of our perfect lives.

And our lives really were perfect. I never thought it was possible to be as happy as our entire family seemed to be. We really didn't ever have anything to be upset or sad about. None of us even seemed to have bad days anymore. Each and every one of us had seen pain, and heartache, and immeasurable grief, so I suppose we had all earned our happily ever afters.

There would always be a part of me that wondered what would have happened between Edward and me if he had been raised a Cullen like he should have been, but it was just something fun to think about, because we refused to live our lives in regrets or what ifs.

Carlisle was right in saying Edward brought the family together, because before him, we were all just separate lonely entities that had no idea just how far from home we actually were. It wasn't until Edward found his way to the ranch, were we finally whole as a family for the first time. He had taken _the long road home_ to us, but only with his presence were we all finally truly _home at last_...

…

 _ *****A/N:** I didn't expect for the end of this story to come just yet, but as I was writing this chapter, it just sort of came together naturally. I hope all your questions were answered, and you enjoyed this insane crazy plot in its entirety. Thank you so much for staying with me and leaving wonderful feedback in the form of reviews. They are all fully appreciated!_

 _ ***P.S.** If you enjoyed this story, you might want to check out the companion piece "The Long Road Back to You". This Bella may be okay not dwelling on the "what if", but I certainly did.. Its not a sequel, but more like an alternate version. What would have happened if Carlisle made a different decision? Would it have fixed everything, or create a whole other slew of issues? What would have been the state of Edward and Bella's relationship if they were raised together? Again, it' not a sequel or an outtake or even a backstory. It' an alternate version._

 ** _*Please leave me a few words about your thoughts on this ending, and I'd really like to know if anyone would be interested in that alternate story line._**

 _Thanks again!_


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